He woke to the sound of splashing nearby, his eyes immediately noticing that Aloy was not with him on the sleeping mat. Kotallo sat up in a panic and looked at her clothes. They were still there. He twisted and peered across the ground that was starting to become touched with soft blue light before dawn. In the water of the pool, Aloy was bathing.

It had to be freezing.

Something was wrong.

Kotallo got up and, clutching at the wrap around his waist, pulling the tie tight so that it didn’t fall down, he hastened to the edge of the pool.

Aloy was up to her hips in the water, madly cleaning herself…down there.

Kotallo’s body flooded with shame.

She was washing him, no…scraping him from her body.

He was going to creep away and take his shame to his grave when she looked up and saw him, horror filling her gaze.

“Kotallo…I…I can’t…” She closed her eyes. “I can’t be with child! I just can’t!” She pressed her fists to her face and sobbed, more undone than he’d ever seen her, even after Varl’s death. “Even yours…I’m sorry. Kotallo I’m so sorry!”

Kotallo jumped into the water and pulled her to his chest where she could sob against his skin. She was shaking from the cold as his arm wrapped around her.

“Aloy…you cannot bear a child from my loins.” He confessed brokenly. “I swear I will tell you why…but you must come back to the fire before you freeze to death.”

When they were by the fire once more, Kotallo made sure Aloy was facing it and tucked himself behind her, pulling the blanket over their bodies. She hadn’t said anything since he’d drawn her from the water, since whispering that she was sorry, over and over again. Once her shivering had stopped and her body had warmed, Kotallo knew he had to tell her the truth.

“During the Red Raids, I stepped on a Stalker mine that the Carja had buried. Jayko saved my life but according to the Utaru healer, the damage was done. I would never be able to have children…never ‘sow my seed’ was how she explained it.” He whispered to her. “I thought that meant I could never be physically intimate. I have obviously healed enough for that…however, Gaia confirmed…I am without.”

He closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to her shoulder, licking his lips as he braced himself for the cruel truth.

“So you see, even before Regalla’s attack on the embassy and the loss of my arm…I was already incomplete…inadequate.”

Aloy turned in his arms and looked at him firmly. “I’ve never seen you that way and I certainly don’t now.” She glanced away. “I knew what I risked…but I wanted to be with you so badly that I ignored the warning of my head. After…I got so scared…”

“Of bearing my child? Evidence of us?”

“No!” She exclaimed softly. “Of being responsible for a baby when there is so much at stake…I can’t be heavy with child and take on…”

Kotallo frowned as her words trailed off. “Take on what, Aloy?” She bit her lip. “This has to do with what happened on the launch tower, doesn’t it?” She closed her eyes and nodded. “It’s not over yet, is it?” She shook her head. Kotallo’s arm wrapped even more tightly around her. “When will you share this burden with us?”

“I couldn’t,” Aloy wept, “not when we’d survived so much…after what Varl gave…what Tilda said to me…”

Kotallo’s mood darkened in an instant. “What did she say?”

Aloy wiped at her tears. “She claimed she and Elisabet were…she said she loved her.”

Kotallo gazed at Aloy. “I know you are of the same…design,” she smiled at his attempt to understand, “but you are not the same at all. Or else…this was…”

“I did not just…Kotallo, I swear, I didn’t use you to prove her wrong.” Aloy insisted. “You…you’ve been in my dreams…”

He smiled and brushed some of her hair away. “You have been in mine.” He studied her weak smile. “That was not all, was it? What else happened?”

“She…Tilda…she never intended to stay on earth.” Aloy licked her lips. “There’s a threat coming, something the Zeniths were running from…and in doing so they led it right here. And it’s bad, Kotallo. Really bad…so the Zeniths were just going to grab Gaia and all her functions and abandon the earth to their hateful, selfish, foolish mistake…”

“Tilda helped us kill all the Zeniths…so that only she remained…” Kotallo breathed and closed his eyes. “She was going to take you away with her.”

“She offered…then she threatened…then I had to kill her.” Aloy shivered. “She gave me no choice.” She closed her eyes. “She called Beta an inferior copy…she tried to turn her into the Elisabet she loved and when that failed, she abandoned her and then she found me and tried to force me to go with her.” Aloy breathed in and out a few times, slowly her emotions. “I keep being told what Elisabet would do and that it’s what I should do…”

“You are not Elisabet.” Kotallo stated with no room for argument.

“And they presume to know her when they couldn’t be further from the truth.” Aloy added. “Ted Faro. Tilda. Sylens…they all think they know me…even Avad in his own way…” She glanced at Kotallo. “Are you jealous?”

“I’ll admit I might have been…a little…” She smiled weakly and he returned it then sighed. “Perhaps I should sleep elsewhere.” He pushed himself upright.

“Why?”

He cleared his throat. “Because I cannot desire you this much and be this close to you without acting upon it…responding to…you…”

Aloy opened her mouth to ask what he meant when her eyes widened as understanding dawned and she pressed her lips together and nodded. Kotallo took that to mean he was to leave her side when she grasped his shoulders and drew him down to her, kissing him with no room for argument.

Not that Kotallo thought to do so for a single second.

The world was dripping and wet when they woke to a diminishing campfire, the storm clouds having blown away during the night. Their clothes were not fully dry but a great deal better than they were. They dressed and buckled on their armour. With no better way to carry it, Kotallo locked his arm into place and flexed his metal fingers. He looked over at Aloy whose hair was dry, whose injured shoulder was covered and who had spent the night in his arms.

And yet, somehow, he knew what they had could not last.

“Kotallo…”

“I know,” he swallowed, “this never happened.”

Her shoulders stiffened. “No…it did happen…”

“But you regret it?”

She turned to face him, her eyes showing pain. “I could never, ever regret this,” her tone was firm but her eyebrows were sad, “but it can’t happen again…my focus has to be on the big picture…the entire earth. I can’t focus on one person…no matter how much I want to.”

Kotallo nodded. “I know.”

His words only seemed to wound her further, as if she wanted him to argue. Aloy folded her arms about her body.

“I feel awful…like I used you…”

“Did you?”

“No!”

“Aloy,” he stepped towards her, drawing her arms apart so that he could take her hands in his, “I ask for nothing…only to be by your side as someone who will never let you down.”

She gazed at him, trembling. “What if I let you down?”

He smiled and let her hair run through his fingers. “Not possible.” He was so close to cupping her face and kissing her once more but the night was over so he dropped his hand and looked around. “You need to return to the base as soon as possible. My Charger should be somewhere near here…”

“What about you?”

“I will walk to the Oseram camp and let them know the fate of the delver. Then I will join you at the base.”

Aloy nodded and picked up her FOCUS. She stared at it for a moment before putting it on the side of her temple with a resigned sigh.

“Gaia, are you there?” She nodded. “We’re okay. The Stormbird is dead and we didn’t do too much damage to the facility. Kotallo’s FOCUS is down but mine’s still working. I’m coming back to base….Kotallo?” She glanced at him. “He’ll be along shortly. Okay.”

She tapped it again and looked at him. “See you soon.”

“Indeed.” Kotallo watched as she signalled the Charger and it came to her. She mounted its back, kicked its flank and galloped away.

Though he knew he shouldn’t hope for it, he wished she would look back at him.

But she didn’t.

She was strong.

Kotallo gathered the Oseram’s belongings into a bundle and carried them to the camp where the delvers were saddened but not surprised by the death of their comrade. There was some talk about how the Saviour of Meridian had ridden past with her hair like a banner of red but Kotallo didn’t stay to hear their stories. He tried to give the goggles back but they insisted he keep them.

The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

It was a long trek up the lake before he found a herd of Bristlebacks and overrode one. He could have made the base by nightfall easily but he took a different path and went to the Grove. Though the inker was surprised by his lack of colour, it afforded him an opportunity to refine his original design.

Then he asked for a specific design, having sketched it in his head and then onto the sand for the inker to follow. Hekarro heard of his presence at the Grove and asked him to stay, to farewell Regalla. Though she had betrayed his trust and killed his Marshals, Hekarro wanted her buried with full honours.

Kotallo wouldn’t have been as kind.

By the time it was done, it was night and he slept at the Grove, heading out the next morning for the base. Without his FOCUS working, he couldn’t let anyone know where he was or what he was doing so they were surprised when he arrived.

Surprised and relieved.

“You had us worried Kotallo,” Alva admonished him lightly as he stowed his gear in his cubicle, “when I got up and realised you weren’t here…I thought it was strange. I asked Zo about where you were and she had some ideas…not that they were right at all…heh…”

Kotallo looked at her, confused. “Where did you think I was?”

“Oh…nowhere!” Alva blundered and scampered away. He followed her, intent on asking what she meant when Zo waylaid him.

“I take it your little adventure proved successful?”

“Did…Aloy not return and let you know?”

“She did…and she gave us a vague idea of what happened before she and Beta became shut ins with Gaia…have you done something to your paint?”

Kotallo froze. “What about it?”

“It looks…newer.”

“I…it was washed off by acid so I returned to the Grove to have it redone before coming back here.”

“You mean we missed out on seeing the real Kotallo?” Erend thumped him on the shoulder as he came up from behind.

“This is the real Kotallo,” Zo corrected Erend, “and you know it.”

“I’m just saying it would have been interesting to see.”

“Wait…” Alva turned back to him. “Aloy was with you…were you captured in her FOCUS?”

Kotallo thought frantically. “It…might have been…On that note, I require another one.”

Zo sighed and found him another FOCUS. “You’re getting as bad as Erend.”

“I know…” Kotallo sighed and used it to scan his ruined FOCUS. Some of the data was irretrievable but most of it was there. “Is there anything to eat? My attempt at cooking was less than exemplary.”

“Erend brought sausages back from the Daunt and some of my bread…”

“Perfect.” He cooked the sausages and jammed them into the bread. Zo leaned on the counter, eyeing him. “You have something to say?”

“Just wondering if you’re ever going to tell us why you snuck out in the night to go battle an Apex acid Stormbird at a water treatment facility…”

Kotallo shook his head. “It had to be done.”

“Hmm…” Zo raised her eyebrows. “You know…when we couldn’t find you in the base…I thought you might be behind one of the closed doors.”

“What doors are closed?”

“Well, Sylens’ door…and we know how much you despise him,” Kotallo snorted, “and there was only one other door that was closed…” He stared at her. Zo looked at him pointedly. “Only one other door…” His eyes widened and his jaw dropped suddenly before he crashed his teeth together. “And that’s the reaction I was going for…” Zo laughed. “Then Aloy came out and didn’t know where you were either.”

His gaze darkened but she only smiled at him. Before he could try to dig himself out of the hole he’d managed to fall into, Aloy’s voice spoke into all their FOCUSES.

“Hey everyone…can we gather in the common room? There’s something we need to discuss…”

Kotallo was grateful he didn’t have to pretend to be sullen and quiet around Aloy. No one expected him to act any differently. On the outside, he was as he always had been. On the inside, his heart was both in pain and elated.

He had kissed her.

He had made love to her.

He had shared his secrets and she had done the same.

No matter what else happened, he had that.

It would have to be enough.

“Hi, everyone,” Aloy stood in front of them as they sat, stood or leaned to listen with Beta nearby, “so…there’s something you need to know…about what happened at the launch tower…and about how…the fight isn’t over yet.”

Erend groaned and Aloy’s shoulders sagged, knowing that they had all been looking forward to a reprieve from the fight. Then he looked up with squared shoulders.

“Okay, lay it on us.”

“It was Alva who discovered that the Zeniths never intended on staying on earth,” Aloy gestured to her and she nodded, “they were stopping here to grab Gaia and all the parts of her we’d collected before escaping.”

“Escaping?” Zo leaned forward. “Where?”

“Not where,” Aloy sighed, “from what. Tilda told me that the Zenith’s weren’t content with physical immortality. They wanted to be able to put their minds into any form, mechanical, biological…what they ended up with was a ball of their collective consciousness.”

“And given how selfish and cruel and hateful they were…” Alva shuddered.

“The ball, or Nemesis as they called it, was all of that combined…and it became alive.”

They stared at Aloy, the horror of her words sinking in slowly.

“It’s alive?” Erend gaped.

“And it wants nothing more than to kill the Zeniths.” Aloy swallowed. “It destroyed their colony on Sirius…and when the Zeniths escaped, heading for earth, it sent out the extinction signal that woke Hades, scattering Gaia’s subfunctions even as she destroyed herself.”

“It did that?” Zo breathed. “Why?”

“To keep the Zeniths from having a safe haven on earth,” Beta explained and stood up, speaking in Aloy’s voice but with such nervousness that it was hard to imagine they were the same person, “and when that failed…Nemesis launched itself from Sirius and chased after the Zeniths.”

“That’s why they created you on board the Odyssey,” Alva looked at Beta, “they needed Elisabet Sobeck to be able to put Gaia back together so they could start a new colony where Nemesis couldn’t find them.”

She nodded.

“Hang on,” Erend waved his hand, “if the Zeniths are dead…wouldn’t this Nemesis thing leave us alone? I mean, what did we ever do to it?”

“Given the way the Zeniths treated every single tribesman they encountered, slaughtering them without thought,” Beta tucked her arms around herself, “we can’t assume that Nemesis will do anything differently…”

“Even more so,” Aloy added, “because Tilda said Nemesis was neglected and imprisoned for decades…it’s…a giant ball of hate and it can take any form, any body.”

It was a lot to take in, even for Kotallo who knew some of what Aloy had been going to say.

“What do we do?” Zo asked softly, her hand resting on her belly as she undoubtedly thought of the future she wanted for her child.

“You’ve got a plan, right?” Alva said timidly.

“Aloy’s always got a plan,” Erend claimed, “she’s got this.”

“Actually…I don’t.” Aloy admitted and they all stared at her. “I’m not going to do anything…you are.” They were silent, confused and a little scared. “If we are going to take on Nemesis, a consciousness so powerful that even the Zeniths were afraid of it…we’re going to need more than just us.”

“You need an army.” Kotallo spoke for the first time and Aloy’s eyes met his.

“Yes,” she breathed, “and not just warriors in the physical sense. We’re going to need anyone who will listen, who will be trained…who will come to terms with the future we are facing and the threat we must defeat…and stand with us,” she looked at Beta and smiled, “to keep this world safe.”

“A laudable ambition,” Sylens’ deep voice spoke from behind and they looked at him, “but if you think these simple tribesmen…”

“Sylens,” Aloy looked at him, “shut up.” He glowered at her. “These simple tribesmen have the courage to stand up, to fight…and this world is theirs too, not just for the privileged few that you deem worthy. Earth is for all of us.”

“What do you want us to do?” Zo said, standing.

“Beta?”

Beta held out a round capsule. “The Oseram call these ‘embers’,” she explained, “it’s actually a projection device for a hologram which doesn’t require a FOCUS to view it.”

“I’ve been working with Gaia on the best words to use…and she recorded me speaking it.” Aloy swallowed. “The recording with go into the ember…as many as we can salvage from Las Vegas…and then you will take the message to the tribes.”

“Wait…” Alva stood up. “All of them?”

Aloy nodded. “Alva…you’ll take the message to Bohai. I know the Quen haven’t left Landfall yet. Give it to him, have him watch it and when he goes back to your homeland…”

“I don’t think the imperial family will allow something like this,” Alva confessed, “to be broadcast to the people. It will contradict so many of their beliefs.”

“I was…tactful in my address,” Aloy assured her, “regardless whether or not they allow it…they will at least have the chance to choose for themselves.”

Alva nodded. “You’re right, of course.” She paused. “I’ll need to cross Tenakth territory to reach the crossing point.”

“I can take you.” Kotallo immediately offered then looked at Aloy. “You wish me to take the message to the Tenakth?”

To Aloy’s credit, she gave nothing away of their union. “Take it to Hekarro first. It’s his tribe. I don’t want to circumvent his authority…”

“He would stand with you no matter what.” Kotallo said, already knowing what Hekarro would say. “When he gives his blessing, I will take the message to the other clans.”

“Thank you, yes.” Aloy nodded but she seemed a little less relieved and a little sad.

“Alva,” Kotallo glanced at the Quen, “will you come with me to the Grove before I take you to the coast?”

“Me at the Grove? With all those…angry Tenakth?”

“Your witness will add weight to the message…and I want to show my brethren that the Quen, some of them, can be trusted.”

“Oh,” Alva’s eyes went wide, “of course! Kotallo, what a privilege! I’ll get to see the Visions of the Grove!” Despite the imminent threat of danger, Alva was ridiculously giddy.

Zo laughed then turned to Aloy. “I will go to the Utaru?”

“Yes. I hope they’ll listen…”

“You were our people’s champion and you helped heal the landgods,” Zo insisted, “we can only hope that it’s enough to get their attention.”

“Now, lemme guess,” Erend leaned forward, “I get Meridian.”

“Actually…you get more than that.” Aloy sighed. “Erend…you have the whole of the far east.”

Erend’s jaw dropped. “All of it?”

“Go to Avad first. I’m sure Talanah and others in Meridian will be able to help.”

“That’s not so bad…”

“Wait for it,” Aloy steeled herself, “I also need you to go to the Cut.”

Erend gaped at her. “Banuk territory?” She nodded. “All the way north?”

“Just until you reach the first main settlement,” she explained, “ask for Chieftain Aratak. He’ll listen.”

“Are you sure?”

“Tell him his former chief has a request to make.” Aloy held up her hand. “It’s a long story.”

“Why don’t we use blue cord boy?” Erend jerked his finger at Sylens.

“I wouldn’t bother.” He remarked bitterly, standing apart from their gathering with his ever present disdainful expression.

“Yeah…only cause they’d kill you on sight.” Aloy pointed out.

“Superstitious fools…”

“Stronger, better and kinder than you.” Aloy retorted. “Sylens, we don’t have to like each other to make this work…but you better curb those judgements of yours.”

He bowed mockingly. “Very well.”

“Meridian, the Claim…the Banuk…jeez…” Erend huffed. “Alright, I’ll do it. I might even rope in Petra from Chainscrape.”

“Mightn’t be a bad idea.” Aloy nodded. “We’ll need to collect more embers to display the message. Would you go to Las Vegas and speak to Morlund? He’s their…tinker expert. He’ll be able to help you. Tell him Aloy needs his help with her dream.”

“Okay…I’ll head off in the morning and be back as soon as I can.”

“In the meantime, we need to prepare for the journey and leave as soon as the embers bear Aloy’s message.” Zo said firmly, glancing at all of them. “It could take months to reach everyone…and we don’t have a lot of time.”

“Agreed.”

“Aloy,” Zo held out her hand before she could dismiss them, “you have not included the Nora in this recruitment drive.”

Aloy’s skin paled and she faltered. “I…wouldn’t bother…they reject anything of the old world, consider anything beyond the Embrace as tainted…”

“Even if the Anointed called them to arms?” Aloy cringed at Zo’s words. “Varl mentioned that they call you that there.”

“Yeah…”

Zo put her hand on Aloy’s shoulder. “They deserve the chance to choose for themselves, just like the Quen, the Tenakth, the Carja, the Utaru, the Oseram and the Banuk…”

“Zo…”

“I will take the message to them.” Zo insisted. “If…Erend…will come with me?”

“Wha?” He looked up in surprise. “Me?”

Zo smiled and nodded at him, greater understanding in her eyes than there had been previously. “You said you’ve been there…and it is further from anything I know in a land I am deeply unfamiliar with.”

Erend nodded. “Yeah…yeah of course.”

“Fine,” Aloy sighed, “when you get to the Embrace, ask for High Matriarch Teersa. She’s the most reasonable of the bunch if she’s still alive…but I’m still not sure they’ll even let you into the Embrace…”

“At least we will have tried. And I might get to meet Varl’s mother.”

“Now that’s an icy reception.” Erend shuddered.

“And Oseram and a Utaru trying to talk sense into the Nora?” Sylens shook his head.

“Sounds like the start of a bad joke.” Erend chuckled and stood up. “Right…well, I’d best get packing.”

“Could I…come with you?” Alva offered, standing with him. “You could use the extra pair of hands to carry the embers…and I’d love to see Las Vegas.”

“Why not. I could use the company.”

“I’ll start on provisions for the journey.” Zo offered.

“Beta, can you make sure Erend and Alva know the kind of embers we need?”

Beta nodded and, grasping the round ball in her hands, hurried after Erend and Alva.

“I’ll go do something productive…” Sylens said vaguely and went to his room, leaving Aloy and Kotallo standing in the common room as Zo worked behind the counter.

“I should…”

“As should I…”

Kotallo couldn’t meet her gaze, fleeing to his cubicle.

He would be gone for weeks, visiting all the settlements of the Tenakth. The message itself would be easy enough to convey…the explanation behind it…less so.

He wouldn’t see Aloy for a long time.

He put his hand over his heart.

“Enough…enough now.” He vowed softly.