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Keep Your Pants On! I'm Trying to Study!
Chapter 5 - Hentai Doctors and Nurses, oh My!

Chapter 5 - Hentai Doctors and Nurses, oh My!

Hanna hadn’t heard from her brother in hours. She’d been so terrified that she called the local police, but they were of no help. It wasn’t until much later in the evening that the call came through.

Kyle had a stiff voice. “Hanna?” And was it just her, or had his voice gotten a little deeper and horse?

“I’m here,” she said, cautiously.

“My car is totaled. I’m at the hospital. I’m fine though. The doctor said it was a miracle that I survived with no serious injuries.”

She clutched the phone tighter to her ear. “Are you sure you’re okay? You don’t sound fine at all.”

“I’m fine. I just need to rest at home for a few days. Preferably alone.”

That last part sounded a little weird to her, but this was her cheaply gotten little brother. “Of course. I’ll help in whatever way I can.”

***

Her new mother, Mrs. Ivy, was a woman who looked no older than thirty but was definitely in her late forties. Since she was home she drove Hanna to the hospital Kyle had mentioned. When they reached the front, instead of calling Kyle to come to the car, Hanna hopped out. She ran through the doors, got directions from a nurse, and went straight to the room they’d put him in.

As soon as she saw him, she scrutinized him for injuries.

He’d just finished putting on a new shirt he'd picked up somewhere and looked very pale. When he turned around, he jumped a bit. His eyes grew wide and he took a step back.

Exactly what kind of reaction was that?

She frowned. “Are you not happy to see me?” If he kept at this, then they might end up going back to being estranged.

No. She wouldn’t let that happen. She needed her study buddy! With a little bit of time to heal, surely he’d go back to normal.

“Mom’s waiting in the car, so let’s go!”

Kyle nodded like a robot, then achingly slow, picked up a new backpack he must have purchased recently.

She frowned. Had his muscles been injured in the wreck? No wonder he was so stiff.

As they began walking down the hallway, she wrapped her arm around his to help him. He jolted upright. Hanna glanced at him then slowly released his arm. “Sorry. Did I hurt you?”

“Ah, no,” he cleared his throat. “Everything is perfectly normal. Here. Right now.”

Her eyebrows raised.

Of course, that was when she noticed the open room they walked past. A doctor leaned over a scantily clad big-breasted patient. He had his hand between her thighs in what Hanna knew was not an appropriate medical procedure. “Hmmm. Doctor, yeah. That’s exactly where the pain is.”

“This kind of pain requires a deep massage to cure.”

Hanna’s eyebrow twitched.

First of all, why was that door open?! Secondly, did this Hentai World really need to corrupt the damn hospital, right now?! Couldn’t it at least wait until she left? Her innocent little brother was here!

And when they stepped out of the hospital and into the night, she noticed two figures near a tree. The nurse with a very short skirt was bent at a ninety-degree angle as if she’d dropped something, and the doctor—right behind her—looked like he was thinking really hard about something... that was also hard. So hard, in fact, that he couldn’t help but do a little thrusting dance right behind the nurse.

Seriously?! Her innocent brother was right there. If he just turned his head a little he’d see this shit! The urge to cover his eyes had her clenching her hands into tight little balls.

He was too pure for this world. It often seemed like he was the only pure person. But she wasn't entirely sure that was the case. After all, most of the other background characters were also either too oblivious to notice naughty things going on around them or they knew but were ignoring it.

She sometimes wished she could be oblivious about all this stuff.

When they reached their mom’s car, Hanna opened the door.

Kyle slowly stepped one foot into it. Poor guy was having a bad reaction. Perhaps getting into a car right away would be too soon?

She gently rubbed his lower back. “If it would make you feel better, we could take the public transit together.”

“N-no. It’s fine. I’m fine.”

“You’re obviously not or you wouldn’t be having trouble getting into the car. Plenty of people who experience car crashes have trouble getting on one, so there is nothing to be ashamed of.”

“No. I’m fine.”

“Are you sure, sweety?” Mrs. Ivy said. She looked back at us from the driver’s seat.

He practically jumped into the closest seat at that point, and quickly put on his seatbelt.

Hanna put one foot into the car, planning on sliding past to the seat beside him, but he shook his head. “Please sit up front.”

Stolen novel; please report.

She nodded and did so.

“Everybody buckle up,” Their mom said before pulling away from the curb and into the desolate midnight streets.

It took a good half hour to return home during which she tried asking about the guy who hit him.

He explained in stilted language that it was a drunk driver named Jeremiah Coleman, and that they may need to go to court to testify against him.

After seeing him like this, she couldn't help but think that there was something off about her brother. At first, she assumed he was just stiff from the accident, but he flinched every time she touched him.

When they reached their house she grabbed his bag and walked with him to his room. He sat on the bed, exhaustion clear on his face.

When she set his stuff down she bent to look into his eyes. They widened.

”I’m going to ask you something that might seem weird... But did the doctors or nurses at that hospital touch you inappropriately?”

He opened his mouth several times, like a fish. Then he shook his head, confusion evident on his face.

She gently touched his forearm. He flinched again. ”Then are you injured? Does this hurt?”

”It... aches a bit.” He sounded like he was lying but after an accident like he had, he had to be telling the truth.

”Okay. Rest up. I need my study buddy.” She mimed giving him a hug. ”Air hug.”

The corners of his lips turned up. There it was.

The accident must have just gotten to him. He’d be alright soon enough.

***

Kyle, the stranger in a strange world, was not alright.

Having never both changed shape and copied memories before, he originally wanted to take a day or two to get used to this new body. Thankfully it had a head, neck, walked on two legs and had two arms like his original form. But it did not have the tentacles that could protrude from his lower back. It took him hours of adjustments to his body to figure out how to return the use of his important limbs.

This he was able to do in private.

The next step was fairly easy. Determining if the food on this world was edible for his kind. Instead of waiting for the mother to make food as she did in Original Kyle’s memories, he waited until everyone was asleep, then snuck down with one of the devices he brought from the ship. After scanning a whole refrigerator of goods, he determined that the food on this planet was edible, but lacked some of the nutrition his kind needed so he’d have to return to the ship and fabricate some vitamin supplements.

”Kyle?”

He jumped at Hanna’s voice, then hid the scanner behind his back. He stuck his head out to see her rubbing her eyes as she walked into the kitchen. She wore a spaghetti strap shirt with no bra and pajama shorts. One of the thin straps was practically falling off. Apparently, this was what she wore to bed?

Exactly what was she doing up?

”Are you hungry? I don't think mom has anything easy to eat in the house right now. But I can cook you breakfast if you want. Considering the day you had yesterday, you must be famished.”

But in his memories... ”You don't know how to cook.”

She grinned. ”There are instructions online. It’s not that hard. Just don't pick anything too complicated. I’m just a beginner.”

He swallowed. Kyle itched to run upstairs and hide his device. Maybe he could stash it somewhere?

Because he was hungry. But it wasn't as if he had no self control.

After going through a list of what was in the fridge and thinking of his sister’s possible culinary skill, ”You could maybe make me some buttered toast?”

She scowled. ”Do I look so incompetent that I can't even handle some scrambled eggs?” Her arm gestured toward the kitchen table. ”Go sit!”

Hanna took his place in front of the fridge, and began rummaging. He took this chance to attach his device to the bottom of the table. Then watched as she more skillfully than he thought possible, cracked some eggs in a bowl, added spices, and mixed them together. She put a frying pan on the stove and turned on the heat.

She just left it there while she found some bread and tossed a few slices in the toaster.

This family kept their butter on the counter in a butter dish. She lifted the lid, grabbed a spoonful and threw the yellow mass into the pan.

It sizzled pleasantly. Once it melted she poured her prepared eggs into the pan and started cooking skillfully.

This! According to his memories, his sister should not be this skilled at anything food-related. This wasn't the only thing like this either. She was better at math, but worse at history than she should be. It was almost like she wasn't his sister at all, but a new person entirely who just looked like her.

With that thought in Original Kyle’s head, it was no wonder he—

Hanna set down two beautiful plates. Each had two slices of butter toast, a healthy amount of eggs, and a small cup of blueberries she must have found in the fridge. She even placed two glasses of water down between them.

Even to his alien senses, it didn't smell bad. To the human morphed senses, it smelled fantastic. His stomach growled in anticipation.

”There you go, little brother. You better not say anything bad about my cooking or I’ll roll up a newspaper and get my revenge.”

She winked and started eating.

No. There was something off about this sister. Could she possibly be the prince he was looking for? He was more likely to choose a male to shapeshift into, but if he was worried about being found by Kyle’s kind, he might hide in the form of a woman.

Since he had a convenient scanner under the table, he stealthily extruded two of his tentacles from his lower back. Hiding them with his clothes he extended them toward the device.

His hands picked up a fork the exact same way Original Kyle had before. He then cut off a piece of scrambled eggs. And put it into his mouth.

To his human senses it tasted like the best scrambled eggs he’d had in his life. To his Tov senses, it tasted foreign but delicious.

From there he practically inhaled everything on his plate... All while his limbs below worked the scanner, recording every part of this sister of his.

If she was the prince in disguise, this would let him know.

”Good?”

He nodded and curled his lips into a slight smile. She returned it and took both of their clean plates to the sink. Moving like she’d done dishes a million times before, she rinsed each plate and place them systematically inside the dishwasher.

He was fairly certain that Original Kyle’s hunch was correct. This woman was not his original sister.

”I’m gonna go get ready for school. Since you’re staying home to recover I’ll get your friends to make a copy of their notes.” She brushed his hair away from his forehead, causing him to stiffen. Then soft lips touched his forehead before she walked back upstairs. She called back, ”Get some rest so you can come to school tomorrow!”

Once he was sure, she’d gone into her room, he practically ran upstairs with the scanner. He shut his door, and locked it, heart pounding in his chest.

Then he looked at the big, ”Genetic Match Found!” written at the top of his device.

He diligently read through the report.

It turned out, Original Kyle, was an idiot.

Apparently he knew so little about his sister that her recent changes in behavior just seemed like she’d been possessed by someone who wasn't her.

Kyle once again double-checked and found, ”No Lusandai genes detected!” listed near the bottom.

He sighed.