'Maybe I can give them some kind of sign as I'm transported. Something to let them know I've been taken and by who,' Amadeus thought before Uzbec stabbed him with a needle and he lost consciousness.
When he woke up, they'd already arrived. He swayed in his seat, pain so abundant he never felt anything else. Every little touch of his stump of a leg sent something akin to a rough beam of essence up his spine. That and the stab wounds, peeled skin, and needles scraping his bones—courtesy of Uzbec's torture room's custom chair—, radiated pain that made Amadeus feel like he was burning up.
'Hot... so worse... than cold,' Amadeus mumbled in his head, nearly stumbling over his words even there.
It was bad enough now, but it would only get worse. Uzbec knew not to start too big. The damage was supposed to accumulate and drive the subject insane until they wavered on the edge between life and death and lost their values. However, the worst thing was that Aurelius did not know where he was. Hell, he didn't even know Amadeus had been taken. But he still had to hope for an end to the nightmare. And it was a nightmare. One of which the god was Uzbec.
"What. A. Travesty," Uzbec mused as he circled Amadeus. "Truly. You wouldn't know. I figure you were born North."
Uzbec liked talking. Getting closer to his victims. It was how he infiltrated their thoughts. His method was to violate people in every possible way. Living inside their heads.
Amadeus wagered he liked that. It was as if Uzbec yearned to feel his victims' pain. Just to feel something.
Still, it worked. Amadeus had been born North. There was no way for Izbec to know that. He just did. It made Amadeus wonder what else he just knew. Lying to Uzbec was like rubbing broken glass on your eyeballs, you didn't do it unless you had no other choice. Because he was one scary fucking man. Especially in a room that had its walls covered in tools for torture.
"Oh, the Southeast Arkryk is quite something," Uzbec kept yammering about that place. Amadeus had to admit it was a novel experience listening to a man speak about a place where he was dreaded as well as worshipped like the devil. "There were people starving everywhere. Do you know what that looks like? When the body eats itself and becomes simply skin tightly wrapped around some sorry old bones. Then when the food shipments came, people went crazy. It was a riot every time. And every time fathers and mothers scrambled over bags of grain so their children could live, only to have their existences obliterated by beams of essence. Rough ones. Designed that way. Nowadays, such technique is seen as underdeveloped and barbaric. 50 years ago, it was the usual. Beams ripping bodies to pieces like you've never seen before."
Amadeus thought about asking for water since it felt like he really might be dying of thirst, but remembered that Uzbec knew exactly when he needed to drink and he wouldn't do so until it was time.
"Then the gang wars... That's where I really started. As an agent of chaos for the sake of order." Uzbec had lost his parents early. Amadeus figured it was in some way that left one scarred for life. Made a person so damaged to the core that he could do nothing but spread that damage. "You've heard of the gang wars, of course." Of course, he had. It was the bloodiest internal affair in the history of Arkryk. Though, the story had originally said that the government had settled them, they were the place where Uzbec's legend was tracked down to. "They were tough bastards, I admit. The leaders of all the gangs had some kind of purpose in their heads. When I first introduced myself, all of them told me they would never break. They all did. Some broke quickly. Others lasted a week or two."
Amadeus didn't want him to continue. He tried to wipe his mind of the things he had heard. Believe that things like that weren't possible even for the worst of humanity.
Uzbec walked to the wall and observed the tools strapped to it. He ran his fingers over the hilts of various blades and contraptions with a disgusting sentimentality. "I can tell you it wasn't the pain. More like the loss of identity. I had men impaled and burned, but that wasn't what broke them. After I had them ravished for days and made them eat feces until they couldn't swallow, they didn't want to get out any longer. Even if they would have been able to go back in time, they wouldn't have. All they desired was death. And end to the nightmare. They just wanted to die so badly they were ready to do anything."
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Amadeus began to shake, the needles in his bones screaming at him not to move.
"I was young then. Of course, I am no longer such a barbarian." Then he took hold of one rust saw and turned to Amadeus. "I will proceed with sawing off your other leg. While I do, tell me about the liveD. If what you say satisfies me, I will stop... for a time. If it doesn't, I keep sawing."
Amadeus tensed and forced himself to look up. Then he felt a cold touch on his shin, and with a horrible sound, his skin ripped apart.
***
In the following days, Amadeus knew he had once been alive. He was vividly aware of it because he was no longer.
He didn't see any longer. His eyes received no more light. They remained half rolled up and he felt himself on the edge of ascendance beyond the pain
However, the pain remained. He was beginning to think it always would. It was omnipresent.
His shin was cut in half, but his calf muscles remained. Uzbec had left it like that after Amadeus told him everything. Every single detail... about his theories about the Lived which he had developed with unending enthusiasm before meeting Aurelius himself whose involvement he denied outright to Uzbec's displeasure. He had his theories and an unnaturally refined intuition, but Amadeus still could sense his uncertainty.
In return, Uzbec told him about his youth. About how he became to be the man he was. Amadeus felt an unnerving acceptance emanating from Uzbec. He looked at himself as a finished development. He accepted his nature fully, the horrible thing he was.
However, there was something admirable about it. Amadeus found himself becoming attached to the man. He felt deep, deep hatred for him, but he was attached, nonetheless.
It was funny in a sense. They were telling stories to one another like friends. Uzbec was just making his brain dull with pain, but not enough to suppress his memories of his old theories about the liveD which is spun in extravagant fashion. Though his memory had stopped working properly, he was able to use the expected incoherency as a curtain to his mind. The pain almost made the lying easier. It almost made him laugh, and sometimes he did, but he wasn't really laughing. It was more like weeping without tears.
There was no sleep in the room. Amadeus was unable to relax under the needles and constant harrowing pain. Uzbec on the other hand, seemed like a night creature that slept during the day with its eyes open.
At some point, Amadeus started to see things. He was happy about it since he got to see his parents. It was the first time he cried. Uzbec of course slapped him until he stopped. He didn't like it when others cried or showed any other kind of softness.
Weirdly, during the entire experience, Amadeus had started to feel closer to himself. He suspected it was Uzbec's influence. Amadeus was coming to accept himself just like Uzbec did. He did not know what his nature was, but that was fine. He demanded no more of himself than the last of his endurance and a firm faith in his friends.
It took days for him to really believe it. He considered grinding his teeth on multiple occasions, but didn't allow it. Then after he lost his voice, he found that only one voice remained inside his head and it agreed with him.
He opened his eyes and truly saw for the first time. His body was merely an extension, and he felt pain no longer.
He looked straight at Uzbec who was frowning at his nonchalance at the knife through his hand.
"You were right," Amadeus said hoarsely, noticing that his voice had returned he hadn't screamed for some time.
Uzbec raised his brows. "What?" His voice was even deeper than usual.
Amadeus smiled faintly but got serious quickly before saying what he had left for the right moment. "The liveD is the Son of Ares. The liveD isn't even an organization, and has no ties to one." He laughed to himself. "Everything you've sent to Orpheus until now has been figments of my imagination."
Uzbec stood straight up and took a step back to observe him under the single dirty lamp in the room. He was observing, looking for some clue.
Amadeus showed no emotion as he continued. "It's too late."
"I would advise you against trying to play me. Many have tried, many have failed. Hope is not something you can afford."
"You've never met anyone like me before. You've certainly met anyone like Aurelius before."
"Aurelius?" He said it with his usual tone, but his eyes were wide, twitching. He realized he had been fooled by a man who could barely form coherent thoughts for most of the time.
"That's his name," Amadeus said without hesitation. There was a feeling in his stomach and it spurred him on. "For the likes of you, he is a God of Death who knows only two words, 'Karase aki.'"
Uzbec rolled his eyes around the room before finding a specific tool and with an evil glimmer in his eyes, he walked to it, but then his feet shook. No? The whole world shook as suddenly a thunderous sound came from somewhere. Everywhere.
There was a flicker in Uzbec's eyes as he steadied himself. It was fear. The message was clear. There was no escape.
Amadeus stretched his fingers, and even though they dripped with blood and stung with peeled skin, all he could do was smile.
'Finally.'