Aurelius swept his hand along the reflective gray surface of the fjord. The very second he touched the water, a numbingly intense sting shot through him. It was as if the water was making his blood freeze into nails inside the tips of his fingers.

He retracted his hand quickly, recalling Solomon's words, 'Go on a swim?' He rubbed his face and looked up at the light gray sky. 'Wonderful.'

Then he undressed on the snowy shore. Since no one with essence ever truly felt cold or hot, he was at an advantage. Or that was what Solomon had said. In all honesty, Aurelius didn't feel that much at an advantage. His hairs stood on end and his breath caught in his lungs as the icy air gnawed at his skin.

Nevertheless, he plunged a foot into the metal-colored water. He gasped, and his eyes enlarged. He felt his heartbeat thrum as he shivered and did his best to control his breathing.

When he realized he would just be getting colder and he was already feeling his foot go stiff and numb, he resolved himself. His body screamed, but he pushed himself forward. His other foot and then his waist and torso. He had experience with freezing, but this was different. The effect was instantaneous.

The water was too cold. He started worrying whether he'd faint from breathing too intensely or get some kind of permanent damage. How would he even get back to the villa?

He breathed a couple of times, huffing and hurried, before plunging his head. The cold shot through him, making everything vivid in a vaguely familiar way. He realized it was like enhancing one's senses with essence.

Aurelius jumped up from beneath the surface and threw his head back. Filled with exhilaration, there was a piercing sensation running through him, but somehow in a pleasant way. He scrambled his way out of the water and onto the snow blanket, heaving deep breaths.

His body was alarmed and every bit of him screamed for warmth, but he felt himself apart from it all. He embraced the freezing. It might've been the best pain he'd ever felt. He stood and pumped his chest, roaring so that he echoed through the ways of the water.

"How am I supposed to touch that world out of my reach?" he'd asked Solomon.

Solomon answered, "When you find your mind not frenzied by your body, you separate. That is essence, my boy."

Aurelius laughed, taking the first step to rediscovery.

***

Under the title 'Sayings of Solomon,' Aurelius wrote all the wise things Solomon said... as well as some of the other stuff.

One of them was, "The extremes of life are often avoided by people to their own peril. You have the opportunity to experience those extremes to an extent that I can't even if I wanted to. Think of your current state as an opportunity rather than a hindrance. That goes for all times."

Another was, "Retrace your steps all the way back to your childhood. That is where everything of value is found. From before all the bullshit."

And yet another was, "Modern essence usage is a disgrace. The person who shortened 'the essence of nature' to just 'essence' should either be crucified or hung. OR BOTH."

Out of all of them, the one about retracing one's steps stuck with Aurelius the most, and that is what he focused on in his meditations. He sought to get removed from his body and enter that spirit in which it was as if he was seeing the world for the very first time. The novel spirit that made one ask, "Where does essence get its blue hue?"

His meditations were nothing groundbreaking, though. Then the thoughts about whether he'd be in time to stop the war flooded in. The self-doubt, fear, and creeping despair made him stay up all night. And when he looked out of the window, he saw a ghost behind his reflection. The ghost's arms wrapped around him as it whispered into his ear.

Aurelius' heart hurt, and he curled up. His expression distorted as he wrenched his fingers over his chest.

An image flashed. The one of Gadreel's heart in his hand. It pulsed. It spurted. It leaked. His crimson glove couldn't protect all of him. Gadreel's blood dripped down Aurelius' sleeve.

He found himself on the floor, heaving for breath. The pain in his heart had passed. He heaved a couple more breaths as quietly as possible, hoping Cade wouldn't hear. Then he crawled back into bed and tried to get some sleep.

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That night he remembered his birthday. He hadn't been keeping count over the days and had no reference point. It must've gone by some time ago, and he hadn't even noticed. He was 19 years old now.

He put a hand on his forehead and just sat with that notion for a while. Then he lit the candle on the nightstand and got to writing as per tradition.

'Last year, I wrote this with only darkness in my mind. If I'm being honest, I don't know how much I've changed since then. In essence—" Aurelius stopped writing abruptly with a half-sigh, half-laugh. Then he scratched over that part and kept going. "At my core, I am the same as I was then. After all I've done, I can't deny it was me. The same man I am now. Even if it doesn't feel like it. Even if it would be easy to say I wasn't, I am.'

He continued on like he had a habit of doing back in the old days, where he could spend the whole day rambling on and on.

In the end he wrote, 'There are demons that I fear out there in the world, and worse, inside me. But I have purpose, a goal, and love. I am far from where I need to be. What I want to be. However, I've been lucky to make it this far, and sometimes, just by being with Cade, I feel happy.'

***

"Hey," Aurelius peeked his head into Cade's room.

"What is it?" she asked, a little surprised. They hadn't talked much since Solomon had taken Aurelius on as a disciple, and he started doing apparently whatever the hell Solomon wanted.

"Our birthday!" Aurelius exclaimed as he entered, leaving Cade just more confused. "Like we discussed. On the ship. Remember?"

"Oh... right. Wait, the first of the year was a month ago or something, wasn't it?"

"Some weeks, I think. I only remembered yesterday... or today since it was past midnight. Anyway, uh..."

"How were we supposed to celebrate again?"

"Well, what I usually do is..." Aurelius sat on her bed and went on about some Aurelius-esque stuff. Something about his notebook and essence and some other stuff Cade tuned out on.

"Where do you think we'll be next year?" he asked.

"I don't know." Cade thought about Zalfari and the war that reminded her of his father. "Dead, probably."

Aurelius pushed her on the shoulder, and she laughed to herself.

From there the conversation turned to the past year, but as always, Aurelius avoided the topic of Arkryk and anything related to it. He wanted to know what Cade did while he was gone. It seemed like he wanted to believe it had been a wonderful time for her. While it was nice that he still hoped he hadn't caused much harm by leaving her, she felt like he should've known how important he was to her by now.

She focused on talking about the kids. The bullies she's kicked into shape, the strong bonds that she'd watch be formed, and how she thought they'd turn out while she was gone.

In truth she'd been miserable while he was gone. It didn't take long until she started hearing of the liveD from Aleyah. Cade had thought about tracking him down, but even if she had found him, she didn't know what she would've done. Hell, she didn't know what she could've done.

Aurelius' dark eyes and crushing grip had never been wiped from her mind ever since the day he returned from Arkryk. At that time, when he was at peak strength, he was the most terrifying thing Cade had ever seen. What he must've looked like massacering the entire upper echelon of the mercenary world while on almost three enhancers, she didn't know.

She had fallen behind so much during that year. She couldn't let that happen again. She'd tried to forget about essence and combat, but obviously that wasn't going to happen. She had to get back into training.

"The best present is the present," Aurelius said in a context Cade hadn't followed.

"Ugh, if only Balgair heard that." She cringed and pinched his cheek. "Only you can say stuff like that and still take yourself seriously."

Aurelius grinned stupidly. Cade came away from the conversation resolved about something she'd been thinking about for a while.

It seemed she could've used a master as well.

***

Later that day, when it had already grown dark, Cade searched for and found Solomon outside on the rocky terrain covered by snow beside the path to his villa. It was the same place where he'd been when she and Aurelius had first met him.

He was looking off into the distance like that time, but this time he was sitting instead of standing, and he actually had some clothes on that fluttered in the wind. He was still barefoot, though. Because of course he was.

"In the north, the days are so very short," Solomon said without turning to acknowledge her even though he had sensed her despite her efforts to go unnoticed, mocking her efforts.

Not to mention that he spoke Miran, knowing she wasn't quite as good at the common tongue as Aurelius. Cade had no idea how or why he was fluent in Miran, but he made sure to not let a hint of awe show.

"Spare me," Cade said, looking up at his high ground. "I'm not here for your poetry."

Solomon turned with a bemused smile. "No one ever is."

"I'll go straight to the point. I want you to be my master."

"You too?" Solomon laughed.

"I'm not interested in the fancy shit you're teaching Aurelius. What I want is to improve at combat. Killing and not being killed. Pure and simple."

"What brought this on? And here I thought you didn't like me."

"I don't need to like you to learn from you. All my life I've heard stories about you. About what a one-man army you are. The epitome of efficiency, if there's any truth to them.

"Your companion thinks you're strong enough, doesn't he?"

"Maybe, but I don't. So are you up to it?"

"No. I'm not up to it," Solomon said, obviously trying to provoke her. It worked.

"Why?"

"I don't need to deliberate." With that, he turned back to gaze into the distance. "Piss off."

Cade cracked her neck. "You leave me no choice." She put one foot firmly back, outstretched her arms, and pointed them at Solomon, essence crackling at her fingertips. "I guess I just have to kill you."

Then a beam of essence shot at the back of his head.