Chapter Four
As I felt the molten energy pour into my lungs, my body began arching in agony. Neck bent with my eyes facing straight up into the sky, my mouth was frozen ajar. I could feel that every part of my limbs were being stretched out to the fullest they could go. It felt like what I could only imagine it was to accidentally grab onto a live wire or have lightning go coursing through one's body, jolting your muscles into paralysis. For with the reality of that all to real, non metaphorical breath, time suddenly seemed to start flowing naturally for me again. No more, could I dive into the Order and Chaos. No more, was I able to see the energy as mountains and oceans. No more rivers bouncing back and forth endlessly with my finger raft floating along. Instead I'm back in my body, everything around me is still covered in darkness, but now I seem to have awoken another sense. Either that, or I have maintained a connection to the Order and everything which the Order has trapped in it. Can I now feel everything as part of me and is my mind now reinterpreting as sight? Despite the pain, I can see or feel the energy all around me. Like how I imagine a bat or a dolphin must feel with echolocation, I can now see everything my new found sight focuses on. Pulsing out from me, I can sense the sand beneath my feet. A few feet further away, and I feel my pack laying on the ground in front of my walking sticks. Yet another pulse goes out from my mind, and I look even further to where I sense the rocks of the tidal flats, the waves frozen in their iconic motion. All of the sea life is motionless within, like a small child’s science fair diorama. Everything else is still encased in Order.
It’s not like the top down view of some video game. Instead this is like a coned, strobe light, greyscale flashing into the fog. My mind is picking something out and focusing on it. Like bullets out of a machine gun, more and more pulses continue to erupt from my forehead and my prison begins to illuminate in further and greater detail. Seemingly unphased by the permeability restrictions that light must face, water and ground both become like open books before me. Focusing my thoughts downward, I send my senses below me, past the sand and into the bedrock. That too poses no resistance to my mind, and I continue to reach down until I run into a wall in the middle of the bedrock. I'm guessing I've found part of the orb that has captured me, and with no escape from the energy that way. I begin to truly understand that it is a ball that I am trapped in. What before, I had said as a joke seems to now have come true in my newfound sight. Giving up on looking down, I send my thoughts into the forest instead. The same woods that had seemed so opaque when I had hiked through it so many lifetimes ago. Now I pass by all of the numerous species of birds, still frozen in flight; I see the squirrels stuck, glued to the trees. Continuing on, I can see jack rabbits and deer likewise frozen in a variety of poses, all waiting for this nightmare to end. Further my mind races, passing by an adult black bear, brown in coat, claws stuck in the process of sharpening themselves on a scrub oak. Normally I would be nervous that it had been this close to me without my knowing it, but having spent lifetimes trapped here, escape is all that is on my mind. Finally I get there, my mind sees it, about quarter of a mile from where my body still stands. The wall of darkness absorbs everything my mind is sending out, it alone remains impervious to my new sight. Finally I've found it, an edge to the energy that has been pressing down on me. Clearly, this is where the dome has cut me off from the world, and my family beyond. Despite the pain pouring into my chest, I manage the smallest bit of smile, with the edge of my mouth. It worked! Multiple eternities spent staring into the smallest parts of the universe. Trapped, looking up at Order and Chaos, and I still managed to remember my son and daughter. With a second non metaphorical breath, I feel even more molten energy of chaos pouring into my lungs, replacing the oxygen, and entering my bloodstream… and with unspeakable pain, I feel my heart finally take a beat again.
Thud! Thud!
Thud! Thud!
As my heart begins beating with an intensity I had never felt before. I feel my body begin to vibrate, it feels like more and more energy is coming down, coursing through my body. With my mouth wide open and pointing to the sky, I want to exhale. No screw that, I want to scream in pain. Feeling like I have Ten Thousand volts, running wild through my body with every beat of my heart, all I want to do is shout in agony, but I can't. I have a world of chaotic energy that is trying to force its way down into my lungs, and all I want to do is get rid of it. I want to take a breath of real air. I don't know why past me decided that messing with this power was a good thing, but all I want to do is reach back into time and slap him silly.
My mind races back from the wall that has me cut off from the rest of the world, drawn back to my body by the pain I am feeling. I return and focus my next pulses inward, back into my body. While I am still unable to resume whatever thought process were sending my focus into the smallest parts of the universe. I can still however manage to use my new sense to see into my body.
Thud! Thud!
With the third beat of my heart, I feel the pain in my chest ratchet itself up to a new level. The new heights of ten, had me wishing with all my heart, that I could go back to the old pain threshold of three from a second ago. Like drinking an ice cold beer, on a hot summer day. When you can measure the chill going down your mouth and throat, all the way to your stomach, feeling every delightful inch as the refreshing cold makes its way down.
I have the opposite problem. Mine is a river of molten lava, pouring into my lungs, threatening to boil my insides alive. I can feel the energy, drilling deeper and deeper into my body; inch by inch it continues its way in. It seems to be following my arteries out of my heart, drilling its way through my blood that seems to remain frozen in place despite the beating of my heart. I see my ventricles widen the slightest bit, and I realize the energy pouring into me isn't just metaphysical. It has a presence in this world, a real physical weight and volume. I alone, seem to be the only outlet for it to go, in this hell ball reject from the early two thousands. Like a diver on the bottom of the ocean, who has mistakenly opened his mouth and feels the water pouring in. I too realize, I am now in an impossible situation; unable to force the energy out of my lungs and shut off the spicket, I will soon be filled to the bursting point where I will then undoubtedly go pop. Spraying my pack, and everything around me in a lovely shade of red. With no option of shutting the flow off, I know I only have one choice left. When faced with a binary equation and one option is impossible, you are left with only its opposite, no matter how improbable. So with no other option, I bend my mind to try and force the energy faster through my circulatory system.
Thud! Thud!
Thud! Thud!
A fourth and fifth beat of my heart echo through my body, I continue to feel the energy like an ocean above me trying to pour its way into my lungs. But though the pain has ratcheted up yet again, I managed to hold off on expanding my lungs anymore. Furiously, I quickly search my mind, going through every cultivation novel I have ever read. Searching for an answer to my predicament that I had never put actual serious thought to before. Sure, what adult has never dreamed of gaining magical powers as a kid? But how many have ever actually thought about what would happen when the building blocks of the universe come knocking on one's innards? Trying to draw on the forethought of every author that had created a world I loved, and dreamed of finding myself in, I looked for some similarities to my current predicament. Emotionally, I am ecstatic, knowing this must be some kind of heaven sent opportunity. This will undoubtedly give me the magical powers I need to break out of here and make my way back to my children. There has always been that part of my brain that is still stuck in my teens and twenties, and it is now rejoicing with the confident stupidity that only the truly young and immortal can have. But I'm older now, older and slightly wiser, so intellectually I know there is no such thing as a free lunch. Finding a ring and putting it on won’t make you invisible, waving a stick and saying a couple of words won't summon a broom to fly on, and radioactive spiders don't bite you and turn you into super heroes. No… Marie Curie died when she exposed herself to enormous amounts of energy. But all I have left is to try, armed with the knowledge of multiple cultivation series. I know the only thing I can try to do is pull the energy through my body faster, and then I can either infuse my muscles with it or build my core.
This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.
Thud! Thud!
Thud! Thud!
A Sixth and Seventh beat of my heart, and I can see and feel the energy pushing its way farther into my circulatory system. I can feel my lungs tensing, getting ready to expand even more with the weight of the world above me. Desperate, I am frantic, my thoughts racing here and there. I can feel the hamster spinning on its wheel, clearly being given a fresh hit by the pressure of the situation. I force my mind to take a metaphorical BREATH! Stop! Slow down, you won't get a second try at this, you spent an eternity understanding this, feeling this, you know this down to the smallest, chaotic particle. BREATHE! In and out. No, not with your lungs, with your spirit. And with another metaphorical BREATH, I manage to throw myself partially back down into the universe of Order and Chaos. I can immediately tell I have not been able to fully subsume myself in it. The pain has been reduced into a dull ache, like heartburn. But compared to the river of molten iron it was before, this is now like the kiss of a supermodel. Also, I can see the energy which was racing like an overfull river through a narrow gorge. It is now more like a spilt jar of molasses, slowly trying to drip off the edge of a table. Getting smaller and going closer to where the leading edge of Chaos is hitting blood, I pick an artery and pull my mind into it. I see the wave front hitting the wall of blood, the blood though seems to be sending out its own shields blocking the incoming Chaos. My blood is obstructing the rampant energy's way, and the force is causing the arterial walls to expand as the metaphysical meets the real and begins to force its way through. This is undoubtedly what is causing the heart attack like pain I am feeling. Again I go through every cultivation novel I have ever read. I realize I now have three options: One, I can attempt body cultivation, first forcing my blood to evolve and grow in power and then using that blood, I can improve my muscles. I.E. Body Cultivation or the Strong Superhuman route. Two: I can force the energy into the walls of my arteries and veins, tempering them and then sending the energy around and around in my circulatory system, breaking through my meridian's and eventually forming a self-sustaining core in my center. Some systems say the core is metaphysical and remains in a spirit body superimposed in your body with others being an actual physical gem in your body that will cycle energy you take in. Taking it to and from the outside world like a magical stomach before using it to cast the cultivator’s will out into the world. I.E. A Core Cultivator or if I want to piss off the purists, basically a Magician. Third: I can combine the two and use the energy for both processes at the same time. I. E. The Limit Breaker path, The path every hero takes to surpass the heavens and turn the tides against all of the arrogant young masters that eagerly throw themselves into his path. Delivering up unto him the resources he could never manage to find on his own, to propel him further upon his path to defy the heavens. Technically I guess there is the fourth path of soul cultivation and while that might be the path of inner reflection, that has sent me down into seeing the interactions of Order and Chaos. However, I don't see a way to use the energy to improve that, therefore I am left with deciding between three options.
The clever answer is to choose both, because a clever man would understand that only by strengthening both your body and core at the same time, can you truly become strong. One immense leg, and one weak leg, quickly lead to a man falling over. But I understand that I am not a hero in a story, I am just a father, trying to make his way home. Obviously the universe is setting a trap for me, so all I have to do is divine how the universe plans to torture me more. Now a clever man seeing as he can not have both, would choose to strengthen his body. Because when we go back to our caveman ancestors, we understand that the only true strength we have is that of one's own arm. But the universe knows this, and only a great fool would knowingly step into the universe's trap. Because, clearly after getting me all juiced up in here, it will let me out of this hell ball, back into a world now devoid of this energy, where I will surely starve. Muscles, quickly atrophying, without this power jolting through me. I am not a great fool, so clearly I cannot choose the path laid out so enticingly in front of me. I, being not a great fool, must obviously choose the path the universe makes look less appealing. The path of the great brain in the body of a wimp. A glass cannon, armed with spells that will make the mountains shake, in the body that a feather can knock over. The path only an idiot, or someone confident in multiple reincarnations, completely unafraid of death takes. And I, being a clever man, seeing through the universe's trap; must obviously take the chalice of the fool, and strengthen my channels and meridians, building a core with the output of chernobyl. While having the body that a ten year old could knock over, well probably not a ten year old. Hopefully I can keep my somewhat in shape dad bod, which will no doubt, only seem like a ten years old to an immortal body cultivator.
“You've made your decision then?” I can imagine the universe sitting across me asking, black mask over its eyes.
“Not remotely,” I reply back with a smirk on my face, “Because I am an American, and as any good American knows, energy is an endless source that will never run out. If we ever need more, it is simple to open up the reserves, buy it, or when all else fails just take it from someone else. So, clearly I can not choose the glass of strong mind and weak body. For how can I take from others with a weak arm?”
“Truly you have quite the brain.” The universe said with a cross of his legs and a rub of his chin.
“Wait until I get going! Now where was I?” I asked back.
“America.” The universe spoke back in my imagination.
“Ah yes, America.” I continued the bit, really getting into it. “America is the land of the guns and the country with more patents than any other one in the world. Clearly the path of the brute is the poisoned chalice and the path of the mind is the safe one to drink, only a fool would think otherwise. But, as any nerd in high school will tell you, without the arm to back it up the meat head will always take your homework.”
Thud! Thud!
Thud! Thud!
More heartbeats, and even in my slowed down state, I can feel the pain increase again exponentially. I can tell now without words the universe is letting me know, it understands I'm stalling. Yes, I reply, wordlessly ending the bit, I know I am. Because unlike my fellow Sicilian, I understood immediately, the universe isn't fair. Like in the movie, the poison is in both cups, and I'm afraid. I'm not young anymore. I don't have the endless optimism of a hero in his late teens, whisked away from his world leaving only his tormentors behind. Greedily chasing after every powerup he can, confident that plot armor will see him through. I don't want the life of a hero, I have enough problems with the worship that is still barely in my son's eyes and is already almost certainly gone from my daughters. I’ve seen how fragile it is, I know not everyone makes it to old age, with grandkids dangling on my knee. My father didn't, and I have to wonder if I am destined to follow the same path as him. But I know I'm out of time and left with no choice. So with that in mind I abandon my ancestry, look the dread pirate dead in his eyes, pour the cups together and with a quick prayer for Courage, stop stalling and get to work.