Novels2Search
Jack of it All
Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Chapter Sixteen

Walking back over to my tent, I let go of the rope I was holding with my left hand. With the release of tension running over the bottom bar the rope slid out, dumping the branches onto the ground in a loose pile landing on top of all of the junk spears only good for kindling. Setting the two goblin spears I had taken with me down next to their usable brothers, I swung the frame off and set it next to the pack on the opposite side of the tent.

Looking over at the big lug, I saw that he was still laying down next to the bucket I had left him and worrying the remaining fish without eating. Looking at him I started to shake my head, I have always been able to see both sides in any argument and that part of me was really starting to rear its ugly head right now. A small but vocal part of me was trying to say that as much as I was okay in wanting to help him. He was just a bear and I couldn't even guarantee my own survival for more than two weeks, just based on food alone. If I started trying to keep him fed as well then I had no doubt the fish that were on my sled wouldn't last more than a couple of days at best. I had already done my good deed by running down and stopping the shaman from casting the fireball onto him. Yes, while he had done the more dangerous part and been injured while we killed the troll together. The troll wouldn't have been summoned if I hadn't interfered with and helped the Shaman sacrifice its tribemates saving the bear already.

The rest of me quickly shut the pragmatic side down before he could get too far on his rant. You help family, teammates, and friends. In that order, no questions asked, it doesn't matter what it costs you. That has been your ethos, and while there have been times in your life that you hadn't lived up to those expectations. They have always been followed by bouts of depression, so if you need to be pragmatic, then ask yourself how long you expect to survive in this world while fighting off the sadness from missing your family while all of the time hating yourself for not being able to save a companion in arms. One is out of your control… but this second one lays squarely in the realm of things you can do something about… so shut up and fix your friend.

Gratified that I had gotten both sides of my brain on the same page. I walked over to the troll's body, where upon arriving I stared down in shock as what my subconscious had been screaming about before finally was clear enough for my dumb forebrain to finally catch up!

For, while yes the neck had almost fully formed, and the top of the head that was starting to crown its way out was indeed worrying. Even the legs that had started pushing out past the knees and were trying to flail around to push over could be considered nerve-wracking. That wasn't what had my jaw reaching for the ground. No, not even the right arm pushing out fingers through the bit of forearm that stuck out past the elbow, which was gag worthy enough on its own, didn't shock me that much. Staring at the left shoulder, all I could see was just ugly red open meat. It wasn't bleeding, but it had never closed itself up!

What could have caused that! Seeing the beginnings of eye's starting to grow into the tiny part of the head that was popping out of the neck, I had to put a hold on my amazement. Picking up the jagged sacrificial blade the shaman had donated to my cause. I immediately began sawing back and forth around the neck, being careful to keep my boots and pants out of the goop still constantly coming out of the abdomen. While my arms moved mechanically at their disgusting task, my brain continued to work on the problem. I crossed off the blade being magical, that had been my first guess… as one, I had used it to cut off other limbs. So unless it had run out of power, which seemed unlikely, that wasn't it. Two, maybe the body was starting to run out of power, but wouldn't the rest of the regeneration have started slowing down instead of just shutting one arm off?

My mind started wandering as no immediate answer called out to me. I had never felt any energy coming from the dagger. While on the other hand, I was almost positive I had felt evil emanating from both the ball of fire and the portal. I was somewhat sure that I hadn't imagined it. Because the fireball had a different flavor than the portal to my senses.

While a big part of me was wanting to doubt what I remembered from the trip in the nightmare ball. Either from my brain just not being able to handle subjective lifetimes it had lived trying to understand and survive the power crushing it. Or the human brain just wasn't able to handle the amount of memories that had been created despite being physically frozen in time. Or perhaps being frozen in time had prevented my brain from permanently forming the connections it had used.

“STOP IT!” I screamed out loud at the hamster in my mind, as it started ramping up to full speed. “One God damn problem at a time. As fun as magic might be, let's focus on the immediate problem that will eat us if we fall asleep!”

At Gaian's startled movement, I sheepishly said. “Sorry, I'm too used to being on my own and being free to yell at my brain when it gets manic.” He laid back down as he had no choice but to accept my peculiar habits or eat me. With a troll bone still sticking out of his stomach, he seemed to know he was stuck with me for now. I guess the truth would be more forthcoming when he was all healed up.

Moving on to the left arm. My body continued its mechanical movements, as I did my best to just focus my brain on a singular problem and not let it wander where it pleased. Okay the dagger isn't magic, or if it was the magic in it had been used up before I liberated it.

I had planned on building a fire next and then burning the troll, but if I could figure out how I had stopped the right arm from growing back… Then I could start cooking the fish now without needing to use the fire for cauterizing a troll. This will save a lot of trips on fetching wood, which means saving on energy, which means the food lasts longer which means longer until you starve… So let's really figure this out.

Tossing the arm to the parts pile, I tried to think back what I had done differently the last time. Now that the left arm was off, I moved down to the legs, still being both careful of the gore and watching out for the legs trying to gut me. I didn't have the thick hide to stop most of the blow like the bear had done. Also I needed to get a fire going to help him out, so maybe I should just give up and get to him before he started getting just as sick as when he took a bite out of the monster.

Freezing in realization, it hit me in a flash. As two disjointed thoughts rammed into each other while multiple other parts of my thought processes started colliding in their effort to cross the finish line of solving the problem first. Dodging a movement by the leg to get me despite being sightless. I continued my cut on the hip with a grin on my face, that belayed the fact that I was wrist deep in monster slime and viscera. The bear had chewed off the right arm when I had gone to fetch the fish and the rest of my supplies. I remembered coming back down the hill to him chucking up his guts onto the arm it was tearing off. Well more I remembered the smell while dragging the torso out of it.

As bad as troll blood and slime smelled, adding bear bile to the mix was almost too much for my cast iron stomach. The stomach acid from the bile must have been strong enough to stop the arm from being able to reform. Switching to the last remaining leg. I smiled at finally having an answer to the big problem of finding a way to end the gruesome task that was taking up so much of my time. Only for it to fall when I realized that with the shape my furry friend was in, the task of producing bile was going to have to be left to me.

With a sigh, I tossed the last leg onto the hopefully no longer growing pile of troll pieces, cursing vigorously to myself. The problem with having a cast iron stomach that had been tempered with years of being a cook and father was that there weren't a lot of things that could make me blow chucks anymore. And while I was glad that I hadn't had anything to eat since coming to this world as I hadn't wanted to risk food poisoning even though I had had ocean fresh sushi many times before back home.

The problem was I still didn't want to risk food poisoning. Laying up a day or two crippled in agony just to avoid having to waste firewood on the troll didn't strike me as a good trade. On the other hand, the time it was going to take me to get a fire hot enough to cauterize the troll's limbs was probably going to mean having to waste the time cutting them off another three or four times. Decisions, decisions.

Trite little phrases like haste makes waste, and measure twice cut once ran through my head, but at the end of the day I was just tired of cutting this body up endlessly. Butchering a dead animal had never been a problem for me. I had always been taught growing up and had made sure to pass along the lesson to my children, Don't waste food, if an animal had given up its life for you, respect it. Make sure to not prolong its suffering, nor waste the essence that it gave up for you. So having to butcher this green wiggling hunk was really starting to wear on my soul. Despite it having no mouth to scream. I could tell that I was causing it to suffer and only the fact that I knew it would hunt me down and kill me in turn was keeping me going in this depraved act. So the part of me that just wanted this task to end won out.

Moving back up to the neck, I used the dagger to scrape it clean so that fresh flesh could be exposed. Jagged meat that was red and oozing blood, despite the green skin covering it. I dipped my knife into the ooze on its chest, mixing it in with bits of blood and flesh. Taking a step back in an effort to avoid getting any splash back on me, I leaned my upper body closer to try and be sure of hitting my target. Forcing myself to keep my eyes open, I watched my hand raising the blade closer to my mouth in horror. Hoping that it was enough to take a big whiff of it in an effort to trigger my gag reflex, without having to taste the horrod concoction. No such luck, I had apparently become inured to the smell with all of my previous butchering sessions.

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Looking down and seeing the neck start to grow together again, I forced my hand to quit stalling and bent down and licked the blade. Finally, my stomach reacted sending out a torrent of bile in an effort to burn my tongue off as before the taste could even officially hit my brain pan. No such luck. However long I manage to live on this hell hole of a planet, I will no doubt have that sour, rotten taste burned into my skull. I am sure I will be darting up awake tonight, rubbing dirt in my mouth, in an effort to remove the specter of that taste from my memories.

With plenty of bile heading into the neck hole and with a huge reluctance to have to repeat my actions more than necessary I shifted my aim over to the left shoulder, who's flap had grown most of the way over. After sending the necessary stream of acid shooting forth. I started dipping the dagger down into it and cutting back into the meat while my brain tried to calm my stomach. Repeating the process on the neck, I did my best to mix as much acid into the flesh as possible.

Standing back up while trying to control my drive heaving, I moved around the torso. Heading over to its bottom half, I sliced both of the hips back open. I tried to reignite the eruption of my stomach, but nothing came forth. Wanting to just end this nightmare I started raising the dagger back up to my mouth, but fortunately that small little motion was enough and I erupted again, aiming for the giant open wounds. Several sour heaves later I hoped I had enough, because I was done with this horrid act. Quickly jabbing the dagger back and forth into both legs in an effort to mix the acid into the meat so I can get on with trying to survive. Despite my best efforts to try and not think about what I was doing, my mind was still horrified.

Dropping the dagger I stumbled over to some clean grass I began to vigorously rub my arms on it, after the initial pass getting most of my arms clear. I started tearing handfuls out to rub at them vigorously using the motions cathartically while trying to pretend I was scrubbing the last several minutes out of my brain.

With a Whuff, Gaian clearly asked what my problem was. Staring back at him, I said out loud. “Hey us monkeys grew thumbs for a reason. Our brains needed them to bring forth our ideas so we wouldn't have to live the lives of throwing shit around like the rest of our cousins. As we've progressed through the era's are tongue's are no longer used to this crap. Plus, I didn't see you managing any better.”

Snorting the giant, cinnamon colored rug clearly thought I was being a prima donna and went back to lapping the little bit of water that was left in the bucket. Walking over to him I sat my butt down and scratched his ears as he laid his head down next to me sadly.

Rubbing his head, I told him. “ I know, I know. We are going to take care of you next. I need to clear a big enough spot out of the turf to build a fire. I'll get it hot enough to get a spear head heated up for you and then after we get that bone spike out of you, we'll get the fish cooking for me and then start working on our water problem.”

As the bear's muzzle reached up and licked my face, as if to say he appreciated my continued willingness to help him. Or maybe he was just planning on what he wanted to pair me with when I lost my useless and he chowed down on me to stave off starvation.

I patted his head again and then stood back up, brushing my pants clear of the bear’s hair, reflexively. Walking back over to the shaman's dagger, I held it up to examine the edge critically. It had some nicks to it that it had probably come from before I had taken over ownership, but otherwise it seemed to be in remarkably good shape. That really didn’t seem to jibe with the tribe's barbaric clothing choices.

Also, while most of the spears were just pointy sticks, the ones that did have metal heads were covered in rust. With the sole exception being the boar spear I had noted early which was probably even better maintained than the knife I was holding.

Heading over to my pack I pulled on one of the two, clean long sleeve shirts I had left. Happy to finally be done with the gruesome butchery and not having to risk getting it covered in gore anymore. I dug into the pocket of my pack that held my fishing tackle and pulled out a small file out of my set of five that I kept for hooks and minor repairs around the campsite that I wanted to take care of, instead of waiting for home where I kept my bigger sharpening stones. Rubbing the file up and down the edge to bend the nicks back into the proper shape, I took note that the sound of my steel on it indicated that it had been tempered properly in oil. Shoving that puzzle aside for now with way to many other tasks on my plate, I put the file back in its proper pouch and then picked out where I wanted my fire to be.

Glancing up at the sky, the giant planet's trailing edge had started to hit the ridgeline above. But, as large as it was, I figured I still had at least an hour till I found out how dark nightfall was on this moon. Marveling at how, despite the lifetimes I had of working with Order and Chaos, it had subjectively been less than a day since I had woken up to start my vacation.

Picking a spot in between my tent and the big lug, I started cutting a line in the turf. Fortunately the damp earth made it easier to cut through than I was expecting. If there were regular storms I might have to rethink my tents footprint and try to hook up the extra plastic sheet in my emergency kit into a funnel for catching rainwater later.

Pacing it out to be about three yards, I started cutting another on another line perpendicularly, looking to get one more going after to make three sides of a square. Finishing the second line I quickly started in on the third as I was starting to get hungry. I could have chosen to go small and just started cooking one of the fish, but I really didn't want to spend the extra energy redoing work later. Better to suffer a little in the beginning doing things properly than have to waste the calories redoing the work.

Finishing the third line, I looked down at the dagger, still in good shape as there didn't seem to be many rocks in the soil. Walking over to my pack I placed it down next to it, as the shaman hadn't seemed to have had a sheath I could commandeer.

Pulling my small collapsible shovel out, I unfolded its blade and walked back over to the middle cut. Starting at a corner I worked my shovel into the damp soil under the grass, prying it up and rolling the grass back onto itself. I started working my way down the line rolling it up. Looking into the dirt I was happy to see plenty of ants, grubs and worms scurrying for cover. While not my first choice I was confident that I wouldn't starve anymore, debating in my head just popping a grub or two into my mouth to remove the lingering taste of troll offal. I skipped it for now, being willing to wait for the eel later. Working my way up and down the line I got into that timeless groove that was my brain's normal defense against boredom.

Thinking more about the troll I tried putting more thought on how it kept managing to produce an endless amount of limbs. It didn't fit in with my experience in the shadow lands that brought me here. Yes, I had been able to temper my Qi channels to such a degree that they were all equally flexible and could stretch an insane amount when put under pressure with a Qi globe.

I didn't think it was possible to do anything that they wouldn't immediately bounce back from. Also, yes I had broken down a mountain of the Chaos Qi to build myself a planet size core who's walls with the dynamic Chaos bouncing through them should be even stronger than my channels.

Despite all of that I hadn't been making something from nothing. I had been breaking the Chaos down and locking it into my channels with the help of the Order that had moved us through dimensions. I had just been stuck with a never ending supply of Chaos until we had made it here. But once I had arrived here, the energy that brought me seemed to have high tailed it away. With no raw Chaos and Order, what else could that monster have been using to replenish its parts so easily. It even started regrowing its head for christ's sake.

“Roarrrrrrrrr!” Looking up at Gaian, I saw that he was screaming for my attention. Most of the way done with rolling the turf, with my inner musings keeping my brain distracted while my body worked on autopilot. I sprang to my feet, dropping my shovel while pulling my ax and Bowie.

Sprinting over to the bear, I turned and dove for the troll's body as I saw what had caused him to stress his injury in alarm. The body was starting to glow bright green, while pulsing with the yellow that I was coming to associate with the evil feeling that the portal gave off. It shown through the body even more brightly than the green that seemed to fill every piece still connected. The yellow looked to be shining through causing cracks to begin to form in the skin, pulsing brightly it made me think that it was a bomb ready to go off.

It seemed that the acid had done its job a little too well, as I found the answer to my earlier musings. There was indeed a power source that had provided the energy for the troll to keep throwing out endless limbs for me to cut off. With no other source to send that energy to, it seemed like it was building up in the chest cavity like a runaway nuclear reaction. Not wanting to find out what happened when it reached critical mass, I thought about running away.

Looking over at Gaian, I didn't think that he was going to get up to anything more than a walk, and if this pulsing speeding up was any indication, he wouldn't be able to get very far by the time the body went critical. I doubted I could get the body far enough away from him and then make my own escape for the same reason. Choosing option three, I still first took the second I needed to pull my shirt off and toss it aside before diving onto the body and driving my knife as deep into the neck muscles as I could. Pushing my whole arm in as I used my knife as a spear point to get my arm through the muscles in the way. I pushed as hard as I could to get the blade past the center of the glowing.

Letting go of the blade, I began moving my hand around searching for the troll’s version of the globe, that I now suspected was what the goblins had been carrying around in pouches. The core or power source, unsure what the locals called it here. I made the guess that removing it would power it down into a version similar to what they thought was valuable. Or if that didn't work it would be easier to throw away before it blew. Feeling something that gave my hand a jolt like a nine volt battery, I grabbed it and pulled it out. As I removed it from the troll's chest cavity, my own arm was now completely covered in gore. Holding the small marble up, the runaway train of energy seemed to stop and the glow coming from it dimmed down to the light of a small LED.

Holding it up to look at, I felt a pulsing from my own center. For the first time since the Chaos had disappeared over the horizon, I had a sense of where my own center was again. With the evil yellow glow woven throughout the full green globe I was holding, I had no desire to put the evil little thing inside of me, despite what my core might want. Looking back down at the body of the troll that was still glowing I knew I had to dig back in to get my knife back.

With another shock from the core I dropped it to the ground, and as the marble size globe gently rolled several feet away from the body. I paused making sure it didn't have some way of self propulsion. As I stuck my arm back into the neck cavity, I apparently triggered the residual energy still in the troll and like a bubble struck with a pin…

The abdomen burst in a small explosion of gore and viscera and I was completely covered in offal.