Chapter Thirteen

Hitting the deck hard and from the woof coming next to me, this clearly startled my new friend. I could only hope that he wasn't upset enough to snatch a quick bite out of me. I ducked and covered in anticipation of the round ball, that I had seen the demon force through the opening, exploding. Head tucked into my knees, I saw the sky light up in a shower of brilliance despite the light coming from the planet above, one last brilliant pulse lit the sky before the portal collapsed. Hugging myself tightly, I got as low as possible and cursed at my mind for its willingness to not just let certain thoughts go. Never having learned the ability to stop myself from thinking about zebras. I just seemed to be incapable of stopping my brain from sending out invitations for the universe to come and have a little bit of fun at my expense. As I further pondered my inability to invite chaos down upon myself, I heard the bear woof again beside me. As I felt its wet nose snuff across the back of my neck, I realized that the explosion I had been preparing for had never come.

Uncurling, I opened my eyes and looked up at the bear's concerned gaze just inches from my own. All I could do was give a slight shrug as I rolled back over. Taking my weapons back up, I once again slowly inched up to the edge, to see what had become of the watermelon sized ball that the demon had managed to get through the portal. Looking back over the edge, I saw what I had assumed to be a bomb, was instead some kind of egg or seed. Having graciously waited for me to get a good view, it slowly started to open up. I could only hate it, for its first step in its campaign to crush my will, for with what seemed to be a claw, that apparently all of the native life on this moon was required to have. It stuck its way out and started cutting through the edge of the egg. As the claw worked its way around the circle, slime started oozing its way out, trailing behind the claw until it had made its way almost completely around the pumpkinesk like object. With its circuit almost complete, the slime splattered to the ground, gushing out as the creature the claw belonged to stood up, breaking itself the rest of the way out. Covered in an oozing mess, I looked on as it unfolded itself to what looked to be at least another foot taller than my own Six feet even (definitely not five eleven and a half). I wondered how it had managed to contort itself into the egg, but seeing how far the slime had splattered as it burst out, I realized it had to have been an incredibly tight fit. Green like its goblin brethren, it maintained several other similarities that I was able to pick out now that I had the time to look. Not inclined to start another charge down the hill at the moment, with no furry creature from home to save or hellfire to interrupt. I wanted to wait and try and gather as much information as possible in an effort to have an actual plan and prepare this time.

Hearing a low growl beside me, I reached out and grabbed the muzzle unthinkingly, like I would my old dog's when I needed it to be still. Keeping the horror that was running through my mind from showing on my face, I maintained a look of utter boredom as I turned to the bear. Giving its muzzle a small shake I looked into its eyes and indicated that it should remain silent. Looking back at me, with what I can only project was amazement the bear fortunately chose to stay still and didn't bite off the offending limb. Apparently content to follow my lead he crouched back down beside me and didn't start back up with its rumbling.

Turning back to face the creature I noted the differences between it and its goblin brethren. It had almost three times the height of the little ones while being almost double the shaman's size. However it seemed even skinnier than them, I could see that it was mostly skin and bones, no doubt how it was able to fit itself in the egg. While at first I had thought it was hairless unlike its smaller cousins, as it shook off a torrent of slime a black mohawk unfurled from where it had been pressed against its skull. With two tusks jutting out from its jawline, it opened its mouth and showed an impressive amount of teeth for something only a couple of seconds old.

Bending down, apparently unwilling to waste the energy it needed to lift one of its smaller cousins up. It buried its mouth into the shaman stomach and started going to town. Hearing its disgusting slurping all the way up here I could see it start to add muscles definition on with a speed that indicated it was magical in nature. Seeing the way it was quickly growing in size, I started getting to my feet. We clearly didn't have any time to sit and gather information to be sure of what we were facing. If it was allowed to continue feeding, it would only continue to multiply its strength until we would have no hope of defeating it. Starting the march down, once again forced by circumstances before I was ready. I could only pray that the bear would follow me down to put an end to this horror before it gained enough strength to kick us around, like a toddler with toy soldiers.

As I moved down the hill at a deliberate pace, so as to avoid a tumble that would undoubtedly end with my own belly being feasted upon, without the blessedness of death that the shaman currently enjoyed. I ran through the mythologies in my head. My best guess just based on the similarities was that if the smaller ones really were goblins, then that meant, if this taller being was a juvenile, it was most likely to be an orc or a troll.

Wishing I had an actual bestiary in hand to refer to. I could only hope and pray that what held true in the books that I had read, held true in this new reality that I had now found myself in. If it was an orc and lore held true, then if the bear came to help me out we would be in okay shape, merely having to beat it to death. With the lack of muscles it had yet to grow, I might have even been able to take it myself. But for sure I would take the five hundred pound, black bear over the buck fifty that the green string bean seemed to be at despite still chowing down. The rub of the problem seemed to be that I was going to bet it was a Troll, for several reasons. One, the being wouldn't have sent it through unless it thought it could take us out, if it could be beaten so easily what would have been the point? Two, most sources of fiction had Orcs being bulky while Trolls had a lean litheness to them, and with no other information sources to go by I could only make assumptions. Three, a Troll based on everything human consciousness had dreamed up, was the worst opponent. And I liked to think if you are going to have any type of plan against the unknown, making the situation as bad as possible, in an effort to be as close to the truth, when the universe decides to let loose. I differed from the wise man in this, with his saying of: “Never try to think of the worst thing that can happen. It's bound to be worse than that anyway.” I personally felt that, when the shit got worse, he would feel good enough about being right he wouldn't rub it in and he would forget to keep dumping on me.

Basing my assumptions on the worst possible outcome that this was a troll, I could only hope that mythology had it wrong and we weren't utterly screwed. Taking my eyes off the Troll for a second, I looked behind me to see that the bear was managing, with surprising deftness, to quietly follow me down the hill. Going back to my thoughts, while continuing to make my way down, I quickly started making a checklist in my head of everything you needed in a troll fight. Long, metal, boar spears to maintain distance so that it can't bury its jaws in your tender parts, Check, don't have that. I had a fishing spear and two were unmade back in my pack and the third had been broken off when the Troll went for his meal. I could only hope it didn't have the intelligence to use it and quickly take me out of the fight. Giant axes or Greatswords with the weight, heft, and reach to chop off limbs of the troll once you have the spears stabbed into it and holding it in its place. Check once again, I found myself with only a tiny little hatchet and while it was a large knife… it was still just a knife. A mob of people to wield said weapons and help soak up the blows, Checkity check, check, check, and although in this case a black bear wasn't such a bad replacement, that still brought the total party to a grand total of two. Fire or acid to cauterize the limbs and nuggets you managed to remove so they don't grow back. Check once again for finding yourself without. But I was unwilling to take the time to run back to my back and grab my remaining fire making supplies that hadn't exploded. As liquid fuel was apparently not able to remain uncombusted in this new environment I found myself in.

Unwilling to take the time and let it continue to grow in size, also doubting I could even make a fire hot enough or large enough to be useful. I could only hope that the bear could keep it knocked down, while I was able to keep removing its limbs, until it ran out of energy and suffered a true death. With a plan in mind and reaching the bottom of the hill, I banged the back of my knife on my ax handle and gave a small shout, “Hah!” Hoping to startle the Troll and stop its feeding that was causing it to continuously grow before my eyes. It rose up to its full height and turned to face us. Now, normally I always hated when Hollywood would send in the MC screaming in rage before attacking a monster. I would have been content to quietly ambush it had I given myself even an ice cube's chance in hell of pulling off a successful killing blow. But I needed the bear to be the main gladiator in this match up. So I had waited until I reached the bottom before saying anything, so that in the event of a quick charge by the Troll, I would better be able to dive out of the way. “Best man for the right job,” as the wise man says and in this I agreed with him. And with no tough hide and only my thin human skin that I had no doubt the monster would claw through like tissue paper. I was going to have to rely on the bear to hold its attention while I hopefully slowly worked my way up its vitals.

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Evidently the Bear agreed with me, standing up it stretched to an impressive height for a black bear, rivaling the trolls gangliness, but with all of the bulk that came from eating seal and sea lion blubber. Roaring out a challenge, it waved its arms menacingly. Taking my cue, I quickly retreated at an angle. Backing away so that the bear was closer to the troll, while never taking my eyes off of the green monstrosity, so that I wouldn't be surprised if it ignored the challenge and instead made the smarter call of taking me out. The hairless, much more fragile, monkey.

Either the Troll was playing the long con, with an impressive amount of deviousness that it was hiding behind its blank stare, or it decided that the bear was going to make a better meal. Whatever its decision tree was, it clearly judged me as not worth the bite or two it would take to scarf down my vitals and went after my new friend instead. Dropping to all fours like a skinny green gorilla, it started charging at the bear. While I wished for a way to communicate with the bear, in order to let it know my place in the battle plan. My new, brown furred, friend clearly had no problems with my hanging back, as it too dropped to all fours and started charging. Clearly not wanting to give up a momentum advantage to its dripping green adversary.

With the ground both audibly and visibly shaking, the two met with equally loud, eardrum bursting roars, as they both rose up onto their back legs, pawing and moving their mouths around. Both looking to gain a purchase on the other's neck, fortunately at first glance it seemed like the bear was going to hold its own, with neither creature unable to gain an advantage over the other. Unfortunately, the troll's height advantage and magical strength was letting it hold its own despite the massive weight advantage that the Terran fighters held, so it didn't seem like Yogi was going to be able to win this on his own either. Doing my best to stay out of the troll's eyeline, I slowly started to circle behind it so I could add the tiny bit of human technology I still had with me, heat tempered steel. Quietly, like a cowardly rat, I crept around its back slowly switching my weapons once again in my hands. I slid the knife down into the sheath, bumping up against my right leg, not wanting to risk using anything but my full strength on my first blow. I had no doubt that whatever I did would remind the jolly green giant that the ‘little’ monkey was still around just waiting to be gobbled up, so I might as well make it a debilitating one. Grabbing my little hatchet, that desperately wanted to be a real ax, in both hands. I choked down to the bottom and with all of the energy I could silently bring to bare, swung it down into the Troll's ankle, where I hoped to sever its own version of our achilles tendon. I thought about sending the swing into the hamstring, but in the end just didn't want to take the chance that it was too large or strong to fully get a debilitating strike through.

Clearly this was the right move as I dodged to the side. The bear quickly toppled the Troll over with the mystical beast unable to maintain its leverage now that one of its legs was out of commision. As the bear pressed down onto its advisery's chest in an effort to hold it down while it went for its neck. The monster clearly wasn't willing to go quietly off into the night, meeting the bear's jaws with its own; it tried its best to dig its claws into the bear's arms in an effort to dislodge them. Seeing another opening, I dropped my ax to the ground and redrew my knife. Holding its hilt with both hands, I trusted the bear to keep the troll's jaws from my neck as I drove it with all of my weight, down into the jolly green giant's shoulder in an effort to sever the muscles that were letting it use it. As the monster's arm went limp I started sawing the knife back and forth furiously trying to remove the arm before the troll could get around the bear's mouth and sink its fangs into me.

Working my way around as quickly as I could, part of my mind couldn't help but curse that the blade wasn't serrated, as that would have hastened the task immensely. Halfway through, I felt myself hit bone, so I started working the tip around in an effort to avoid getting my knife stuck on it. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, but was in actuality was more likely only a minute at best. I managed to completely sever the arm and toss it away, stumbling backwards. I looked at the two hulking titans still laying on the ground to decide my next move. Whether because it just had the perfect mind of a predator or because something was telling it my game plan, either way Yogi was performing almost perfectly. Both of its legs were crushing the Troll down as the full weight of the bear was holding the smaller being on its back, with one of the bear's paw pushing down on the troll's chest the other one pinned the Troll's remaining arm to the ground. Not even bothering to spar with his jaws anymore, Yogi gave me a look that asked what the hold up was and if I didn't want to do my part he was more than willing to switch jobs with me. Not wanting to try my hand at holding a monster motionless, I quickly got back to helping out.

Clearing my throat for attention, I gestured at the troll's mouth and the bear responded by sending its jaw down to keep it busy. Deciding to get back to it myself, I drove my knife into the shoulder joint of the remaining arm, working my way around to separate it from its body like its twin on the other side. Leaving the head alone for right now I decided to go the methodical route and be thorough. No use letting an accident happen like say, the beast getting loose in a fit of rage and grabbing hold of me to chow down for energy to regenerate. Continuing to saw through the beast with a blade unsuited for the tast, I worked my around until I finally popped the other arm off as well. Tossing it carefully away, I made sure it landed close to the other one but not right on top of it. With several conflicting stories floating around in my head, I was unsure what kind of regeneration I was dealing with. I hoped for the basic kind where the main body just kept regrowing until it ran out of energy. But I wasn't willing to risk my life on that and risk letting the arms grow either back into each other. Or have them starting to grow a new body from the ground, or even worse, have it turn out to be like a hydra, growing into separate bodies to ambush us while we were fighting its main body.

Glancing at the first limb, I didn't notice any changes in it yet that might signify it growing into its own being. Looking back over to the chest where the opening still remained of the first arm I had mangled off. It, on the other hand, looked like it was starting to close itself off to stop the blood loss. Unable to risk a bite while trying to take out its head with my ax, I stabbed down into the front of its skull to take out an eye, as the Troll roared in pain for the first time, despite remaining silent throughout my removal of its limbs earlier. I gave up on the small hope I had that a knife into the brain pan would have ended its existence. Pulling my blade out, I backed out of the remaining eye's vision to wait for my chance to remove it as well. Not willing to be sporting, I didn't want to take any chances before I went to remove the vermin's head. When I saw it turn back to focusing on the bear, I seized the moment, quickly driving my weapon into its remaining eye. Eliciting yet another scream of rage, mixed with pain.

Pulling my blade back out, I quickly rolled away while the bear continued to hold the armless threat down. Content that I seemed to know what I was doing, my fur covered companion looked like it had no desire to feast on the trolls' unnatural flesh itself. As I placed my knife on the ground and went back for my hatchet, unwilling to get the trolls green blood in my sheath. I jumped back around as I heard my new friend Yogi roar loudly out in pain. It seemed that unbeknownst to either of us, the Troll had grown a spike onto each of his knees and had driven them up, penetrating into the fur over the bear's stomach. Rearing up in pain and anger the bear slammed its paws down into the monster's chest. Backing up, it bent down and clamped its jaws down on one of the offending legs, before whipping the Troll back and forth. Flinging it around until the troll ended up rolled over onto its stomach. Pressing its legs down onto the trolls back, it barked what was clearly a command to me. Going back for my knife I sprinted back over to the Troll and started the process of cutting through the legs and around the hip bone. While the bear maintained pressure on its back, while coughing out the slime and Troll blood, which was apparently as appetizing as it sounded, that had gotten into its mouth as it had played with the skinnier being like a rag doll. With both legs removed and tossed over to the limb pile, I patted the bear on the back and gestured to the side indicating that he should go lay down and rest. I hoped that the knee spurs hadn't gotten anything too bad, knowing that on a human gut wounds are the most dangerous thing, other than something that would instantly kill you, and having no hope that it would be better for a bear.

Setting down my knife and picking my hatchet back up, like I intended the first time. I made my way back over to the troll and began chopping through the gristle that made up its neck until the head was separated. Picking the head up by its slimy mohawk let it spin slowly around until it was facing me. Unfortunately it seemed that while the head was dead, the chest still had some life to it. The stomach continued to move up and down, despite blood not spurting out of where the appendages were removed. Going back for my knife, I tried multiple times to get through the chest walls to find a way to get to the heart, but everytime was met by thick bone, rolling the abdomen over onto its back, I found the front to be exactly the same.