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- "You don't have to prove yourself to me." -
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It didn't take me long to realize that Potter had escaped his inevitable trip back to London. In fact, I only had ten minutes free from his prying eyes. He always has been suspicious of me, and it unnerved me. To be able to complete The Dark Lord's task, I would have to watch every step to make sure no one followed, but now with Potter, I would have to become invisible.
For the first time, the Great Hall seemed old and obsolete. The vastness of the room and ceiling didn't feel like a threat to my power. I had risen above the majesty of the hall, conquered it's legacy.
Granger was staring at me. Her soft brown eyes echoed my own desires. I wanted her and I knew she wanted me too. I smiled kindly at her, but she shook her head and broke our eye contact. Maybe I was wrong, maybe I was just seeing things. Maybe the letters had really just been sympathy letters instead of love. What am I doing? I couldn't have her anyway. Father would kill her on the sole fact of her being a mudblood. He couldn't have some filthy scum mussing up the Malfoy family's good name, no matter how good of a witch she is.
I didn't care about the old man's speech, not that it bored me, but that I couldn't look at him or hear his voice without seeing myself sucking that life out of him. I saw green light in a dark room, becoming even colder when the curse hit it's intended victim. My wand would crack and I would lose heart. "Sixteen years old and not even fully qualified," Blaise had said. Maybe he was right, I wasn't a qualified killer. I remembered that Mother said if I needed help with my task to reach out to Professor Snape. Perhaps I should take her suggestion and speak with him after the feast.
However, when food appeared on my plate, I suddenly wasn't hungry. Even eating one bite would make me want to vomit. I stared at the food, fork clenched in my hand like a weapon. I was hungry before this, so why can I not eat now? I shoveled a bite down my throat and I had to conceal a gag. No way.
I got up without explanation and left the Great Hall. I darted out of the room, not even stopping when the enchanted knight at the entrance asked what the matter was. I ignored it and bolted for Professor Snape's classroom. There I would be safe.
I headed down to the dungeons, past the Slytherin dormitory and reached the handle on the classroom door when I heard her voice.
"Draco?" It was Granger. I looked up, shocked that she had followed me. "What are you doing?"
"I-I... I wasn't hungry," I added a sly smile to try and convince her.
Her warm eyes went huge, it didn't fool her, "Are you alright Draco?" She reminded me of my loving mother. The tone of her voice was concerned, but not judgmental. Her gaze was focused and true. She diverted all of her attention on me. My heart palpitated. There was no use in lying to her.
"It's my father." If I couldn't tell her the full truth, maybe I could get away with a partial one.
She nodded and suggested we take a seat somewhere. There were no benches in the dungeons, so we entered Professor Snape's classroom.
"What about your father?"
"Now that he is in Azkaban, I have to prove myself to be a good heir to the Malfoy family name," that part was true, but I didn't tell her who I had to prove it too, "and I'm doomed to do the opposite."
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Granger looked at me with genuine care and rested her hand on mine. The sensation of her soft skin on my own sent shivers through all parts of my body. I sat frozen, unsure of what to do and afraid to move. I didn't want it to end, but I didn't know how to make it last. Slowly, I turned my hand over and intertwined my icy steel fingers through her warm fleshy ones. I heard her give a faint gasp.
She swallowed, "You don't have to prove yourself to me."
I swung my head to look at her. "Really?" I whispered.
"Yeah," she whispered back, "You're brave and kind and intellgent. It shouldn't matter what your father thinks, after all, he turned out to be a real piece of work." She stopped, aghast at what she apparently thought had hurt my feelings, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have talked about your father like that."
"It's okay."
"Why do you let him decide who you are?"
"I try not to, but he can be very..." I thought back to the day when he overheard me telling Mother I fancied Granger. He locked me in a closet for months and didn't let me out until I said that I had lost interest in her. "...convincing."
"Still, you shouldn't have to prove your worth to him."
Anger flashed through me. I already knew Father was proud of me, The Dark Lord even said he took pride in me himself. How dare she insinuate that he needed me to prove myself to him. "It's not him I have to convince!" I lashed out at her. Regret filled the empty space between us.
That was not part of my plan. I removed my hand from hers and leaned my head on the table. I folded my hands behind my neck. Any slip-up of information could not be allowed, especially to Potter's friend. You're such an idiot Malfoy.
"Draco, what-"
She was cut off by Professor Snape jerkily opening his classroom door. He looked quizzically between Granger and I, trying to decipher what had just occurred inside the doors of his classroom.
"Miss Granger, what are you doing here?"
She looked as through she had swallowed her tongue, "Draco left the feast, so I followed him here. He looked upset so I tried to comfort him." I smiled at her quick-witted response.
"Did it occur to you, Miss Granger, that Draco planned to leave the feast because he had a meeting with me?" Professor Snape raised an eyebrow at her.
"N-n-no Sir," she apologized and hurried out of the room. I watched her curly brown hair bounce back and forth as she ran out of my sight. I will be dreaming about that hair, that smile, and that warm touch the next time I close my eyes.
When she was out of earshot, I said, "Thank you Professor, Granger was getting rather annoying, you know, chatting up about books all the time." I tried to disguise the situation with my usual childhood arrogance.
Snape didn't believe a word I said, in fact, he looked rather furious and it reminded me of Father. "What do you think your father would say if he were here? His son, sneaking out with Hermione Granger when he has an important task to accomplish given by The Dark Lord himself." He drew out every word so that each syllable felt more sharp and dangerous.
I tried again to play it off, "What do you mean Professor? You heard what she said, she followed me in here."
"Don't play games with me," he snarled, "If you want to survive to see your seventeenth birthday, you need to keep your business secret. No sneaking around and telling some girl you fancy everything just because daddy isn't here to keep you in line."
I stood up, how dare he bring my father into this, "I was chosen! He trusts me!" I spat at Snape.
"Because you are Lucius's son, don't you understand boy? The Dark Lord is mad at your father, and he wants to punish you by putting you up to an impossible task, then killing you when you fail. He doesn't expect you to succeed, he doesn't even expect you to get past the first step. You are too much of a coward, just like your father."
I opened my mouth to retort, but he was right. There was a reason I'm not in Gryffindor. I wouldn't be able to go through with the plan. The realization flushed a new sadness through my bloodstream. A sadness that can only be described as hopelessness. "What do I do?" The sadness and despair rushed back into me again.
"Mend the cabinet and stay away from Granger. I'll take care of the rest," he responded simply.
My mouth dropped, "Who I talk to has nothing to do with this!"
His demeanor changed. He lowered himself so he was only a mere meter from my face. He pointed his long, pale finger at me like a wand. "Don't you understand I'm trying to save both of your lives? She is on The Dark Lord's watch-list already, don't give him more reason to want to kill her."
"He wants to kill her?" I whimpered like a puppy.
Snape didn't answer my question, he just stared coldly at me. "Go to bed and talk to me again when the cabinet is finished."
I got up, not daring to argue with him. However there was one more thing on my mind. I turned around as I was closing the door, "Professor, has there ever been something that you wanted, something you wanted more than anything, but you knew you could never have?"
I saw a strange wave wash over him. His face shifted to a pained expression. This was the most vulnerable I had ever seen the stony man. "Yes," he said softly and shut the door in my face.