Novels2Search

But I Do

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- "I'm in love with you!" -

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  Her eyes were swollen from extensive crying, and my brow creased, hurting with her. She wiped her wet lashes as she approached, forcing down anything that incriminated her to crying over me. I smiled sympathetically at her, apologizing with my facial features.

  When she saw me standing outside the Room, she paused for a second, making up her mind, before continuing to walk towards me. I didn't blame her. Every time she has got close to me, she has been hurt.

  "Hi Granger," I soothed her. I opened the Room of Requirement to the balcony we had discovered in our fifth year, the balcony that she remembers so fondly. The balcony where we spent our last meeting in the Room of Requirement before I ratted out her and her friends' organization. I heard her breath hitch when she saw where I had brought us.

  "Draco, I don't think I should be here," she whispered.

  I whirled around and caught her arm before she could walk back out of the room, "No!" I shouted at her, then reining the anger back in, "Please stay," I begged her with my eyes. If she cared at all about me, even guiltily, she would want to stay.

  Slowly, she nodded. I let go of her arm, and offered her my hand. She took it, and I blushed. The things you do to me Granger. We sat down at the balcony, our crossed legs touching. She looked at me like a deer would at it's prey. It broke me to see. How much of her soul have I devoured already?

  Her warm brown eyes had ridges of red around them, her fluffy brown hair desaturated, and she played self consciously with her nails. I had done that. I had caused her that pain.

  "I'm so sorry." I broke down the dam that has kept my sadness back for years. I've kept it up in front of my parents who would've called me weak, from my professors, who wouldn't understand, and even from myself. I weeped to her, not to anyone else. She has been the one person who cares about my emotions and values my feelings, and all I do to repay her is break her heart over and over. "For everything."

  I couldn't look her in the eyes. I was ashamed of who I was. Ashamed of what I have done and ashamed of who I will become. A gentle hand rested on my shoulder. I whipped my head up, eyes wide.

  "Draco, I don't think you get it. We're in this together. We always have been," she said. My helpless wheezing stopped. What? She saw my confused and shocked expression and continued, "Please tell me what's going on."

  "I want to Granger, I really do, but you know I can't." I hoped she saw the pleading in my eyes, but all I saw in hers was anger. The anger I saw in her eyes reflected how my heart felt almost all the time. Angry at my father, angry at The Dark Lord, angry at everyone, but this anger pained me worst of all. Granger angry at me.

  "Is it because I'm friends with Harry?"

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  Is that what she was worried about? "No! Potter has nothing to do with this."

  "Then why?" her voice broke.

  "You're not like me Granger. You're not pureblood-"

  I hadn't finished but I could see that it was the last straw for her. She stood up and lumbered toward the door, "I've had it with your stupid prejudices Malfoy! Goodbye, I never want to speak to you again!" she cried.

  "NO HERMIONE WAIT!"

  She still continued toward the door, breaking both of our hearts into a million pieces. She was only a few paces from leaving my life forever. I knew that I should just let her go, but the selfish part of me spoke up again. If this is the last time I will ever speak to her, I just wanted her to know.

  "I'm in love with you!" I closed my eyes, sobbing to myself. That confession ripped all of my pride away. It tore me down to just flesh and bone. I kept my eyes closed as I waited for the sound of the door closing, but it never came.

  Slowly, I opened one of my eyes. She was standing, still as a statue, gawking at me. I opened both eyes, and we stared at each other. Me, sitting like a child on the floor in a ball, and her, standing tall like the strong young woman she is.

  "But all those things you said to me."

  "It was all just a mask Hermione," I told her, "I had to say those things. I had to because..." I thought about all the excuses I have given my guilty self for almost six years, "...because I can't love you."

  "But you do," she sat down beside me, inches from my eyes. By some miracle, Hermione Granger understood.

  "Yeah." It was less than a whisper, but it still explained everything.

  She leaned her head on my shoulder, but I wanted more. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her to my chest, letting her rest her head on my heart. We sat, staring at the stars in silence. Ecstasy filled my broken parts. The girl I loved was in my arms. She was staying with me even after knowing how I feel about her.

  "Draco," she whispered, "I think I might too."

  I grinned so wide that my teeth were showing. It had been forever since I had smiled like that. It felt strange on my face, my cheeks aching and my eyes straining, but it was the only thing I could do. That and pull her even closer.

  I dropped my hand to her waist and slid her across the floor towards me. I cupped her cheeks with my hands, pulling her gaze to mine. She didn't look as broken as before, just like me. I guess were just as a good as healing each other as we were breaking.

  She laughed breathily when she saw my stupid smile. Running both of her hands through my hair, she muttered into my lips, "You should do that more often. It drives me mad." I smiled more, just to please her, but I soon had to choose between that or her kiss.

  She had put her lips on mine, melting into me like butter. Our bodies fit perfectly together, like two puzzle pieces as we kissed under the stars. This kiss wasn't the burning fire I had experienced during our first kiss, it was more satisfaction. This kiss felt right. No guilt behind it, just peace and perfection.

  I traced my fingers down her spine, giving each vertebrae equal attention. She shivered as my hand got closer and closer to her hips. She grabbed the hair on the back of my head and kissed me deeper, our noses squished into the other's heated skin.

  Minutes passed but I couldn't tell how many to save my life. Time was frozen by her touch. I never wanted it to end, but when we broke apart, I was satisfied. There was nothing more I wanted from her, just her.

  I smiled cheekily and so did she. We both laughed. Her laugh was something special, much like the rest of her. It sounded like birds in the spring, bells in the snow. She overshadowed me in every note of her song, but I didn't care.

  I loved her, and she might love me. She hasn't decided yet.

  She nestled her head back onto my beating heart, and placed a hand on my shoulder. I readjusted my position so that she was sitting in my lap, and I had both arms wrapped lovingly around her. I never wanted to let her go. We both looked to the stars, admiring the little blinking lights in the darkness.

  I didn't realize how symbolic those stars were to me until now. The stars are what I shared with Hermione, and she was my one consistent light through all my darkness. I sighed, the happiest I have ever been, "Have you found me yet?" In her letter she said she looks for the constellation of my namesake.

  "Not yet, although, I have to admit, I was more focused on the real you."

  I chuckled warmly and rested my head on top of hers. Her curly hair was so soft and I lathered my face in it.

  "I love you," I murmured.

  She was hesitant with her response, weighing her options, but in the end she told me, "I love you too."

  Chuckling to myself, I kissed the top of her head, "Am I still allowed to take you to the party?"

  She giggled, "Yeah. You can still take me."