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- "How do I get you to stay with me?" -
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Granger left my flowers' petals strewn across where she had walked, and as I passed, they brushed further away from me. The gorgeous white and red petals floated down the stairs, as if directing me. I walked down three flights of stairs, cross two corridors, and past dozens of sleeping portraits before I found her.
She was sobbing in her party dress, little birds flying above her head. I don't think she heard me as I silently descended the stairs.
Her sobs weren't noisy, more of the painful kind where you feel like your heart has been ripped out, and along with it, every ability for you to make noise. Her mouth was caught in the middle of a silent scream and teardrops were speckled on the floor underneath her. The bouquet had been thrown to the side, abused and dilapidated, with no memory of the life they had once lived.
"Hermione."
"WHY DRACO?" she shouted in a broken voice, "Why did you lie?"
"I had to," I carefully sat down next to her, but she moved herself further away from me, "to protect you."
"NO, you did it to protect yourself!"
I hated to admit it, but she was right. She was always right.
She broke out in another fit of sobs, "I know Draco, I know why you've been sneaking around, why you've been avoiding my questions."
Everything froze. She couldn't know, she just couldn't. How could she have figured it out already?
"I've known since the first day of term, I just didn't want to believe it," she said, "You're one of them, aren't you? One of his followers."
"Granger, I-"
"STOP LYING DRACO!" she berated, "Please, just for once be honest."
Tears formed in my eyes, but I let them come. It was strange, crying in front of someone. I haven't done that since I was very small, so small that I can't even remember it. My father always said that it showed weakness, that a real wizard never cries. I didn't want this, none of it. If my father wasn't so manipulative and actually parented like he should have, I would have such a better life. "I didn't want to be," I told her. I took off my black overcoat with the black leather accents and revealed my long sleeved white dress shirt. I unbuttoned the cuffs and ripped the fabric up my arm, showing her the skull and snake tattooed on my skin. She gasped. "I was chosen."
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"Why didn't you tell me?"
"You would've told Potter and everything would have been ruined."
"Draco, I wouldn't have told anyone. I know you, you wouldn't kill anyone. As much as you fail to see it, you're still a good person."
Reluctantly, she allowed me to sob into her. She muttered under her breath, saying that it was okay, and that everything is going to be alright, but I knew otherwise. If things between Granger and I got serious, she would be killed. She would be killed because of me.
My father had chosen this life. For himself, and for his son. I never had a choice in the matter, but even if I did, I don't think I could stand up to him. The Dark Lord is the most powerful and influential force in the world right now, it would take a miracle to defeat him. For that reason, I have to follow him. The Dark Lord has to respect me, because if he doesn't, then I die.
"You're wrong Granger. I never thought that it could happen, but you are."
"What about?"
"I'm not a good person. I selfishly spent time with you when it would have been better for you if you stayed away. I cowardly accepted this mark on my skin because I couldn't find it in myself to fight my family. And I will become a murderer. Maybe not today, but one day." Internally I crossed my fingers. I hoped my last point didn't expose too much information. She had no response so I had to ask, "Do you still care for me Granger? After knowing all of that?"
She heaved a heavy breath, "I shouldn't, but yes, I still love you."
I grimaced at her, "I'm sorry," then I took off.
"Draco? Where do you think you are going?"
"We can't do this anymore. It's not safe for you."
"I've been in plenty of life-threatening situations before. I'm not afraid."
Of course she isn't. She is so attached that it is going to take more than the facts to drive her away. "Granger, cry about it to Weasley, won't you?" I knew that stung, I could see it on her face. I turned and didn't look back, not wanting to see the hurt I, yet again, instilled on her lovely face. I was truly a monster.
"Draco, no!" She got up and tried to pull me back to her. Each tug was pointless. I kept walking, daring myself not to look at her because if I did, I don't think I could ever leave her again. I heard her shout, "Oppugno!" in my direction, and little birds exploded into my backside. I stumbled, wincing at the sharp pain. She pulled me up and pinned me against the wall, gripping my wrists so I wouldn't try and escape. Like I had predicted, now that I saw her, I couldn't leave her.
"How do I get you to stay with me?" she begged, her eyes full of lost hope and loneliness, "At least until you cross that line."
I sighed, "That's all I want Granger, but it's not possible."
"HOW DRACO MALFOY?"
Her demanding attitude was overwhelming. It made me feel like the whimpering child that I was back in our third year right before she punched me. What had she called me? A foul, loathsome, evil, little cockroach? Oh yeah, that is exactly what I am.
That is exactly how I felt as I answered, "Don't tell anyone," I nodded my head towards my mark since she had both of my hands firmly locked against the wall, "About that."
She let me go, a smile forming on her face. It was a painful smile. A knowing smile, but it made me feel loved for the first time. She didn't care who I was, as long as there was no blood on my hands.
She leaned in to me, begging me to kiss her, and I leaned in as well. I knew that I shouldn't touch her, that it was forbidden, but I didn't care. This is what I wanted. My self-preservation instincts kicked into full gear, and I met her lips with my own.
"We shouldn't do this," I told her, not giving up our kiss.
"I know."