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- "You love her, don't you boy? Don't lie to me." -
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Weasley was in the hospital wing. Poisoned. I have no doubt in my mind that Professor Slughorn had given him some of the wine that was supposed to be gifted to Professor Dumbledore. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that he suspected me.
I was playing through different situations in the event where I was confronted about the wine, when Professor Snape stopped me. "My office, now."
In his office, the professor was brooding again. He paced back and forth across the room with his hand on his chin.
I broke the silence, "What do we do Professor?"
"Professor Slughorn under no circumstances can believe you knew the bottle was poison," he said, "no one can know." I nodded. That much was obvious. "Fix the cabinet, Draco. It is the only way."
On weekends I had been revisiting the vanishing cabinet in the Room of Requirement, but not nearly as much as I had before. I thought for sure the wine would have been sufficient, but it turned out to have been a worse idea than the cursed necklace. I had made little to no progress on mending it and now, I only had six months left. I prayed for that to be enough time.
"We need to practice occlumency as well."
"Occlumency, sir?"
"To protect you in the case that someone tried to penetrate your mind." I shivered, penetrate my mind? "I am going to attempt to enter your mind. Your job is to try and resist me."
I held up my wand.
"No boy. You need to control your emotions, hide your thoughts from me." I whimpered as he enunciated, "Legilimens!"
Suddenly reality became my fantasy. I was swimming in the thoughts of my past. The cabinet flashed by, the dead bird and bitten apple, but Professor Snape was standing behind me. Granger's hair in first year, bouncing to the rhythm of its own song, but Professor Snape was staring as well. The guilt I felt when I called her a mudblood, the pain of my heart ripping out, but yet again, Professor Snape was standing beside me.
This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.
"NO!" I shouted, forcing him away. He had absolutely no right to be seeing those memories. They are mine to treasure and regret, not his. I forced my mind into solitude, and suddenly the flashing memories were gone and I was floating in my own darkness. Spinning around and around as if in outer space. A feeling of peace and comfort overtook me, then I was thrust back into the world as I knew it.
"Extraordinary," Professor Snape said, in awe, "Never have I witnessed someone as gifted in Occlumens as you Draco."
"You certainly have Professor." I was still angry with him stealing the privacy and innocence of my memories away.
"Perhaps, but never on their first try. You are a natural Draco."
I smirked at the compliment, but it disappeared, "First try sir?" Surely we wouldn't be doing that again, right?
Professor Snape smiled nastily, "Again. Legilimens!"
This time I was more prepared for what was coming. My father scolding me for touching something in Borgin and Burkes, nearly beating me with his cane. Professor Snape was only a whisper of smoke nearby. Potter refusing my hand before the sorting ceremony in our first year, humiliating my family name in front of all our classmates. Professor Snape was just a ghost. I blocked him out further and succeeded. We didn't even go to the dark place as we had before, just straight back into Professor Snape's office.
"Marvelous Draco. You have innate control over your emotions."
"What does that mean Professor? Why is that a good thing?"
"It means that you've been hiding them extremely well for some time. My only question is from who?"
I gulped, "I don't know sir."
"Nevermind then. Legilimens!"
I hadn't expected this one so it took me a while to adjust, although it wasn't before he had seen the answer to his question. My father flashed through my mind, as did my mother, then my memories focused on Granger. Granger cheering me on in a quidditch match, hiding behind the booths as to not be seen by Potter and Weasley. The betrayal I felt when she chose Potter's side over mine, and the need to prove my worth to her by ignorantly approaching the hippogriff. The anger in her eyes as she punched me, and the awe in my soul after she had. Granger's scent on my tongue as she pulled me closer under the constellations. Gardenias and red roses beside Granger's petrified body, then the same combination held against a rosy pink dress.
I kicked him out of my head, "Stop, stop, STOP!"
He sat, mouth agape. He whispered what sounded like "Lily," to himself before refocusing on me. "I didn't realize how much you cared for her."
"What?" I attempted a lie.
"You love her, don't you boy? Don't lie to me."
My mouth hung open as I hesitated to answer. I stared into his face, and for the first time I noticed how young he really was. There was a hurt in his eyes, something I had never seen on anyone. Anyone except myself. For an instant, it was like staring into a mirror. Like staring into a mirror of shared pain and sorrows. "Yeah, I do. I love her."
Professor Snape wasn't angry, he was strangely sympathetic. Until this moment, the professor was insanely a replica of my father. I never thought that Professor Snape had a weakness, just like I thought about my father, but today, I unearthed it. It was a sadness that he had held within him for a long time. My father's values seemed minuscule compared to the raw, true emotion that both Professor Snape and I were expressing.
"Pity," he whispered.
I only nodded, snuffing the urge of just pouring out all my pain to him out like the flame of a candle. "It's so difficult to let her go."
"I know." I felt a strange feeling that he understood exactly what I meant, as if he had lived it himself.
"How did you do it?'
He sighed, his usual demeanor returning. It was a terrifying transformation. "I didn't."