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Chapter 32: Tunnel

Immediately upon arrival, Tchadd turned his attention to Paige and ignored everyone else. “It’s you again, bitch. I thought my private death squad finished you off years ago… how unfortunate.”

“Don’t you think that’s a bit silly, given the rise of Pyirrfehct Insurance? I find it hard to believe that you haven’t been keeping up with the CEO of your top competitor.”

“I didn’t realize that you still considered yourself a competitor of mine. Don’t you find it a bit off-putting that every major world-owner is a client of ours? What’s your biggest gig?”

“Maybe I haven’t made it just yet, but your enterprise is built off the back of a single heavy hitter, and you’re just his agent. What kind of royalties are you taking for his work, again? I doubt that Cuthbert thinks of you as anything more than a tool to be used.”

// Author’s Note: Cuthbert’s ability in Isekai Winner: Basketball Boy (this story’s predecessor) was to always win, no matter what. He is more or less omnipotent, since he can just say, for example, that it’d be a huge L if a triple Michelin star meal didn’t appear right in front of him. He is too chill/braindead to use the power for evil, or to cause any major disruptions to life as is known in this realm. //

“Just a manager? Paige, I’m glad you’re my only ‘competitor’, because if you had any semblance of competence you’d realize my capabilities. I doubt that you or anyone else involved in your operation could have brought on someone like him, and to be honest, I’m a little disappointed at your lack of appreciation for the other talent I have under my wing.”

Paige stopped herself from laughing. “I’m sure your docile sheep that hide in the closet make a better lineup than the ones who had the guts to escape.” She turned her head back toward the front desk. “Well, everyone’s here. How about we get this going?”

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“Yes, sure, we can begin - if you, good friends, are ready, that is.” Tchadduiqerino gestured toward a dingy-looking manhole behind his desk. “Yes, then let’s get started right away!” He took a crowbar to its lip and forced open the hatch. “After you, amigos!”

Nobody dared make the first move, so we stood in silence for a few minutes until I decided that it was probably better just to get it over with. I tried to climb down the ladder, though my motions were stilted as in my previous world I hadn’t ever needed to do anything more than wait for a strong gust of wind to bring me where I needed to be.

Paige, Olivia, Tchadd, and Tchadduiqerino followed behind as I hopped down into a cavernous tunnel that reeked of formaldehyde. It was hard to make out any shapes in the dim lighting, but I was pretty sure that I landed on a corpse or two when I made my way down.

“So, what’s with the, you know, dead bodies?” I guessed I was the only one unfamiliar with the setting.

Tchadduiqerino maintained direct eye contact. “Oh, it is just a hobby.”

“What kind of hobby involves collecting and preserving human corpses?”

“I have been trying many new things lately. The You Are Guaranteed to Win if You File a Case Here Court has had much more success in comparison to my business, so I have had a lot of free time.” Tchadduiquerino kissed his muscles in between words. “Serial killing is a very exciting hobby with many unique possibilities.”

“Okay… but couldn’t someone take you to court over this?”

“I don’t understand. They are dead, so who would take me to court?”

“Oh. Sure, whatever.”

We came to a titanic revolving door, the entire tunnel’s length across, and Tchadduiquerino gave us the go-ahead to start pushing.