On the way down, Paige went over a few options to gather our input on the situation, though it seemed like she had been confident in her judgement from the start.
“I’ve had a lot of time to gather experience, and the expectations of my clients have often taken much more to match than you could imagine. This case is almost trivial in comparison to the hands I’ve been dealt in the past, so I think that the ‘Fairness and Justice Court’ should suffice for the funding available to us. That said, our budget also affords us the You Are Guaranteed to Win if You File a Case Here Court, in addition to the This Isn’t a Legal Battle, But Rather a Brutal Waterboarding Session to Get Revenge on Whoever You Want Court, but it’d be preferable for all parties involved to avoid the issues that come with a place like that.”
I trusted Paige’s decisions, but I didn’t really understand the reasoning. “How could a court that grants us an instant W possibly have any more ‘issues’ than a traditional one? That doesn’t make any sense at all.”
“It sounds good on paper, sure, but so many people have had the same idea that you’d get taken in by Tchadd’s ghouls before you even got the chance to attend a trial because of how long the queue is.”
The half-crushed elevator doors, probably intimidated by our plot, cleared the way to let us through to our ride. The teller, claws reaching from behind the desk, held open the hatch leading into Olivia’s ship, and we entered in order of descending height, with Paige leading the way and myself following after.
Our destination was only a few universes away, so we were there in about ten minutes. It was pretty underwhelming to see that our destination was, by all accounts, completely normal - I didn’t catch a single diamond encrusted wall or cocaine chair or anything that showed even a hint of style. The whole building was snowed in, and even still, nobody had bothered to put up Christmas ornaments or hire a mall Santa or even hang up streamers drenched in liquid LSD.
Olivia dug through the snow and, after she’d cleared enough to provide solid ground to anchor her footing, she grabbed onto the door’s handle and pulled it open. We were blinded by the refraction of the light of exquisite chandeliers through several thousand glass sculptures, allowing us only a glimpse of the paintings, statues, rugs, and other works of art that all depicted the same, clean-shaven, stylish, very handsome man. Though the artistry was impeccable, the pieces were littered about in messy piles that made our journey to the front desk unnecessarily annoying.
Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
“Yo, what is up, my good pals, I am Tchadduiquerino and welcome to the most radical court in the multiverse, haha!” The man spoke with a charming though husky Indian accent. He looked twice my height, and he had the physique of a bodybuilder. Normally I would feign being impressed, but something about his name was a bit off-putting.
“Hello, Tchadduiquerino.” Paige took the lead. “I’m here to schedule a trial.”
“Oh, for sure, my friend. What is your, biz?”
“It’s a case of rescission. I’m sure you’re familiar with my opponent.” She slid the voucher onto a glass mural of Tchadduiquerino embedded into his luxurious desk.
“Yikerino, my friend! That man is my homedog, my young ham! Is he up to no good?”
“The same as always. I’d like to get this over with as urgently as you can fit into your schedule.”
“Yes, sure, I am able to do that. I can begin the trial now, if that is acceptable.”
I thought that Paige might’ve been getting ahead of herself, so I grabbed her shoulder to get her attention. “Are you sure we can trust this guy?” I started whispering, “Maybe I’m just being paranoid, but I almost get the feeling that he might be working with Tchadd.”
“It won’t be a problem; this is the Fairness and Justice Court, after all. Bias toward Tchadd would be false marketing, and someone could take you to their own court over that.” Paige looked back to Tchadduiquerino before I could respond. “Your offer is fine for me, but I don’t really think that we can start immediately if Tchadd isn’t here. Your proposition almost seems like false marketing, which as I’m sure you’re aware, is something best avoided.”
“It is okay, my friend. I have already summoned him to this location.”
I hadn’t noticed before, but Tchadduiquerino had already drawn a smiley face on the voucher with a yellow highlighter. As he set down his accentuation paraphernalia, I felt a familiar vibration mediated into my soul through my thighs, but as the quaking progressed to a violent rumble, a voice emerged in my thoughts.
“Tchadd. Tchadd. Tchadd. Tchadd.” The voice grew with each cycle, “Tchadd.”, until it became an earthquake, “Tchadd.”, the smaller sculptures tumbling, “Tchadd.”, Olivia laying on the floor because maintaining her balance was too much effort, “Tchadd.”, until finally, he spoke.
“Hello, Emma.”