“Who’s you s’posda be?”
“I’m Emma. I’ve actually been looking for you guys for a while now... glad we could meet here.” I paused, “Say… do any of you guys have a thing for nice, innocent, human girls?” I’m a bit of a smooth-talker, I know.
“What’r ya gettin at, ya roach? Ain’t no soul in ma’ legion got a you-min girl wait’n fo’ us ta get home!”
“Oh, I just thought since you all were really big, and scary, and evil looking, that… never mind.” It seems like the LitRPGs I’d been reading weren’t very historically accurate.
The demon, though perhaps not the brightest mind still understood what I was getting at and took clear offense to the assumption. “We just workin he’ya. Ain’t got not’n ‘gainst you-mins but gotta feed da fam’ly! Get outta’ da way before ye’ get yerself hurt!”
“I really don’t think you guys could do much of anything to me, but that’s beside the point. This is purely hypothetical, but if the Devil King somehow died in some kind of freak accident or something, would you be willing to take on a different employer?”
Another demon, wearing a tuxedo and a banana-patterned tie, extended his arm in front of the larger one, gesturing the other to be silent. He looked far more human-like than the others, though his scaly skin and small horns still made the distinction clear.
“An intriguing offer. I don’t suppose that you might be promoting yourself as this ‘employer’?”
“That’s a possibility, sure. It’s more important that you answer my question, though.”
“I trust you understand that this war has gone on for many long years. The men here have grown weary from a life dominated by the battlefield and long for a return to their homes. If, and only if, they were compensated well enough to justify their continued absence, some may agree to serve your interests.”
Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
“I think I can pay pretty well, but I really only need one of you guys to work for me.”
“And what kind of payment would you offer in return?”
“It depends on what would be necessary to win you over. I could give a pound of gold every month, though, if that would be satisfactory.” I have no idea how much a pound of gold is, and I only needed this guy to cooperate once. He could jump off a bridge afterwards for all I cared, or whatever would kill a demon.
The demon looked amused. “A pound of gold in a decade would be a most impressive salary, a reward comparable to the savings of even the most affluent human noble. Who exactly are you to be able to afford that level of expenditure?” I really hate this guy already.
“Well, it should suffice to say that I’m someone with a great deal of wealth. As for my position in human society, I’d rather not… share that information with so many ears in the vicinity.” I couldn’t think of a good story, so I hoped that this would work well enough to buy some time.
“Interesting.... interesting indeed. Without a doubt, I have confidence that every demon on this continent would be interested in joining whatever operation you might represent. I regret to say this, but you will have to wait until we return to our current employer if you want to pursue this deal any further, as we as demons are bound to maintain only one contract at any given time.”
“Well…” I was worried that they might get aggravated if I explained that the Devil King was already dead, and especially if I told them who was responsible for it, but I really didn’t care. “You know how I mentioned the Devil King dying earlier? I wasn’t kidding about that. He really is dead. Like, dead dead.”
“Watch your tongue, human. The Devil King is immortal, and even so, if he had somehow perished, we would have received this information long before you.”
“I wonder if you’re right. Wanna bet on it? Let’s say if he really is dead, then you have to work for me for free for a month.”
“And if you are wrong?”
“Uh, I don’t know. I guess I could give you all a pound of gold or something.”
“Let’s see, then. It’s not a contract, but you’re still bound to a demon’s wager if you’re incorrect.”
It was hardly a sweepstakes, but at the very least I could rest assured that with my abilities there was no way the Devil King could magically come back to life or something before the demons arrived at his palace.