I fumbled my way up onto another similarly scaled chair next to Paige. “Given that you’re an Isekai Winner, and since Olivia clearly thinks you have some kind of power that can counter Tchadd’s luck, I’m assuming that you can do something like manipulating intentions in order to change what Tchadd’s luckiest outcome would be?”

“I’m actually just an attorney. But I can get your contract nullified, if you’d like.”

“Wouldn’t it be really lucky for Tchadd if there were no flaws in the contract, though?”

“That’s what I thought at first, too, but there’s a bit more to it that I didn’t realize initially. I’m not sure if you’re aware of this or not, but in defending yourself against an onslaught of luck, there are a few protections in place for the less fortunate.”

“There are? How come Tchadd’s still a threat to us, then?”

“I didn’t mean ‘less fortunate’ like that. You still have to pay for the protection services, but there are a few insurance companies that can make things a bit more manageable in the case of you being hit with a sudden burst of luck. There’s a reason Tchadd hasn’t just been assassinated by concentrated power of will, and the courts have a similar system in place. The contracts themselves are affected, too.”

“So luck doesn’t work in courts?”

“It still makes a difference, but a good lawyer can overcome the disparity. There are a few trusted courts that aren’t entirely owned by the banks that Tchadd works with, so we can start there.”

“You can own courts here!? Why?”

“Oh, I had almost forgotten how things were on earth. I’m surprised you hadn’t caught on by now, but there’s no central authority in this multiverse.”

“I guess that makes enough sense, but how exactly do we win a court case against Tchadd, a person whose contract is probably flawless?”

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“Are you kidding me? Tchadd’s contracts are swiss cheese with loopholes. He has to get them certified by a court before they’re valid, you know, and since all of the courts are bought out by his affiliates anyways, they don’t even bother checking.”

“Doesn’t that mean that he can put whatever he wants in his contract though?”

“It does, but it also means that the terms won’t hold up under even the slightest bit of scrutiny. Here’s a copy of the standard contract Tchadd uses when enslaving people - I doubt that he would make a special case for you.” Paige slid a piece of paper over to my side of the table. “Getting my hands on something like this was quite the ordeal, as he doesn’t let people keep memories of his contract after leaving his realm. This knowledge alone is scarce, as most neglect to review the document in the first place.”

The contract was written on the frontside of an index card.

Ghoudd Insurance Employment Contract

By signing this contract, you agree to:

1. Spend the rest of forever working at Ghoudd Insurance for free.

2. Go to hell if you don’t.

3. Obey any orders from Tchadd Ghonzalles forever.

Your Signature: _________________________

Olivia looked over my shoulder. “Wow, he actually uses this? It reads like a fourth grader’s school essay.”

Paige chuckled. “We were surprised too, but I can assure you that it’s the real deal. He sounds a lot more intelligent in speech.”

I rubbed my eyes. “So how do we get him to show up in court? If there’s no central authority, can’t he just choose not to go?”

“As I said, every court with any sort of reputation is owned in part by the Soul Bank. It’s a bit of a conflict of interest, but I have enough experience to get around it. In order to prevent the very situation that you described, the Soul Bank can impose a type of bail bond to make sure that Tchadd shows up when we need him to, assuming we bribe the bank’s executives ahead of time.”

“Well I don’t have any money, and I don’t think Olivia does either, so I’m not sure how realistic of a tactic bribery is.”

“We can just take out a loan from the Soul Bank. It’ll get lost in the bureaucracy of it all, so I doubt that any of the execs would find out.”

“You know, I don’t know if taking out all of these loans is a good idea.” 

“We can figure that out later.”

“Right…”