“Dummy Shop?" (Merlis)

"Dummy Shop?" (Headmaster)

(((Dummy Shop?))) (Peanut galleries)

A term so strange, you have to hear it thrice.

Well, that makes sense. After all, it isn’t exactly a popular shop.

Despite their apparent popularity, not much is known about the Dummy God, both among the playerbase and the non-dummy native. From their origin, the authority they held, the extent of their followers and worship…

Safe to say, they ain't a normal god, that much is obvious.

What is even less known about this not-normal god, is the existence of the Dummy Heaven.

A place where all dummykind will find their ultimate respite, the ultimate reward for their effort. A promised paradise, untainted by all the hardship and mortality of the common dummy life, it’s the place where all dummies will receive their rest and relaxation for eternity, and is also the place where they will gain their ultimate enlightenment, among their closest company with the Dummy God.

And within the Dummy Heaven, lie the Dummy Shop.

“...Um, excuse me, what the heck is the Dummy Shop?”

Trying to roll the strange, almost alien pair of words within her soft wool head, Merlis politely inquires Marigold about this confusing term.

Everyone else also wanted to know about this seemingly-out-of-nowhere-despite-playing-for-so-long term as well, so the peanut galleries proceeded to put their best ear forward, listening to her explanation.

“Ah, yeah that does need explaining...Um, you know about the Dummy Service right, Merlis?”

“Well, only partly...I mostly employ their service for my experiment, but I recently employed them for this, in exchange for a service…”

“Oh yeah...Well, Dummy Shop is part of the overall services the Dummy Service provides, in which you can buy special goods and items from the Dummy Marketplace, by exchanging them with a special currency called the Dummy Coupon. Apparently, the Dummy God set it up in the hope that people outside of dummy-hood can benefit from the Marketplace as well, which has been too narrow in scope…"

“Dummy Marketplace? Dummy Coupon?"

"...Well, in short, the Dummy Shop should have all the stuff we needed. You will understand all of this soon.”

Since explaining all the detail she has learned from chatting with the Dummy God would have taken all day, Marigold instead decided to just demonstrate it straight up, by summoning the Shop for all people to see. With a flash of the VVIP card in her hand, a straw stall appears in a puff of smoke, with its namesake hanging on a wooden panel.

Opening up the shop curtain, which is made out of simple cloth, a dummy clerk appears, wearing on themselves a prim and proper uniform dress of black and gold. Immediately sporting a friendly smile, they introduce themselves with a polite gesture and a peppy attitude.

“Welcome to the Dummy Shop, the shop in which you can buy any dummy-related goods and items of your heart desired! How can I help you today?” (Dummy God)

“...Um, Dummy God, why are you here?"

"To assist you with your purchase of course! By the way, how did you immediately recognize me, Marigold? Ah, could it be that your divine vision could instantly peer through my divine visage and see into my true form-” (Dummy God)

“No, it’s because your name tag is right in front.”

“Ah right, that makes more sense! Wait a bit…" (Dummy God)

Fiddling around with their name tag for a while, they properly presented it once again, proudly displaying “Dummy God Sommelier” front and center, still with that same wide smile as bright as the sun.

It’s more polite this way, so instead of retorting to it, they both instead let the Dummy God Sommelier continue their pitch.

“So, what do you want to buy today? I heard that you’re in need of a skillbook.” (Dummy God Sommelier)

“Yep! Specifically, I want to buy a skillbook that can allow the user to translate any language in the world...Oh yeah, not for me by the way, but for her."

"I see... It is a pleasure to personally met The Sage That Ascended To The Star, your continued support of our service has been a great honor for us dummykind.”

“A-Ahaha, it’s nothing. I don't have enough words of praise for the quality of your dummy employees…”

“We're glad to hear that. It just happens that we have something that should perfectly suit your needs, so please wait for me to check at the back…"

Greeting back with a polite bow, they then go behind the back curtain, which seems to lead to a divine realm made of light, before they temporarily disappear out of sight. Immediately after, Merlis broke her hastily-made poker face, and frantically shook her back and forth.

“Oi, why the heck is the Dummy God here to greet you!? Speaking of which, how the heck do you manage to make them that intimate with you in the first place?"

"It isn’t my intention to...But see, isn’t that all for the better? There shouldn’t be a more objective and reliable third party than the Dummy God for this, right?”

“Urgh...I guess it is true…”

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“Wait, what do you mean you didn’t know their age?"

If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, it's taken without the author's consent. Report it.

Asking the oldest member within the god's pantheon (that she knows of), she is surprised at the answer.

"What's with that punctuation, you unforsaken nerd? Now shoo shoo, you're disrupting my morning voice training."

“No, please tell me more. I was trying to figure out the origin of the Dummy God, and the reason of their origin…"

"Heh… Good luck. For all we know, they have always been."

"!?"

In front of her surprised face, the muse then further replied with an impromptu song.

Always been, always will be, always has been, always there.

Dummy God, of all Dummykind, has all Dummily watching us by.

From the start of time, to the end of eternity, and even further beyond…

The Dummy, oh the Dummy God, will forever watch our way.

After she is done, the muse nods along with her own words in satisfaction, before jostling it down into her note, fixing it around, even adding a few more notes…

All in the meanwhile, she keeps standing in one place, contemplating.

" 'And even if their faith waxes and wanes, Dummy God will still stand eternal…' Good, good...What the hell are you standing around here for, I already give you all the answers I know of?"

“No, no… I mean, does that even make sense? How can they live for that long, why are they always there, if they live since the start of time, do they predate their own concept, or does the concept predate them…"

"Tsk, tsk, tsk… And here we go again, another fool trying to understand the non-understandable. Wasting your time trying to figure out someone that exists before sense is just a waste of time, energy, and sanity, so I suggest you pack up and leave out of my sight. Your mopey face is ruining my inspiratoria."

“But...it’s my job to know. How can I leave without knowing the true answer?”

“I mean, you can always ask them. Heck, since they presumably live since the start of everything, they would know much more than I ever would anyway."

"True, but like… wouldn’t that bother them? I prefer to get all that I can know first, before getting into the proper interview…"

"Or, you can stop being a bitch, and just ask them straight up! They literally treat every single one of us here like grandchildren anyway."

"Yeah, but is it in a grandpa sort of way, or a grandma sort of way? They do feel more maternally than paternally, but I don't know…"

Instead of moving away, she instead keeps moseying around for a while longer, being a complete eyesore for the increasingly-irritated muse…

Eventually, she calls the guard and forcefully drags her away, still keep thinking deeply while dragging her feet on the ground.

----------------------------------------

“Thank you for waiting! I am back with what you need!” (Dummy God Sommelier)

While she stands there reminiscing all day long, the Dummy God Sommelier finally returns, along with a certain book in their hand.

[Through The Dummy’s Eyes (Language Translator-Type)

Rank: EX

Type: Active

Description: The dummies have been the witness of many things, through their eternal silent and unending observation of all the truths in the world. Through their eyes, and through their mind, you will access the collective knowledge and wisdom of the dummy, and from then will understand all (since this is restricted to language, you will only be able to understand all language)

Effect: Upon activating the skill, you will be able to understand all languages, as long as you're in the company of a dummy.

]

"Hopefully this will be what you require. We have been saving this skillbook in stock for quite a while!" (Dummy God Sommelier)

"This is exactly what we need. Thank you, Dummy God Sommelier!"

"No problem, Marigold. Now, I will tally this into your First Free Purchase privilege, is that okay with you?” (Dummy God Sommelier)

"It is no problem."

"I got it...Tallying complete. You now have 8 chances of First Free Purchase left before you have to exchange using Dummy Coupon. With that, I hope you find our service to be satisfactory, as well as your continuous support!" (Dummy God Sommelier)

Handing back the stamp card to Marigold, as it disappears into the card, the Dummy God bows in farewell, before they disappear along with the stall.

Getting the book in her hand, she brings it over to Merlis, only to find her still mumbling about while ignoring everyone else, no matter how much she shakes her. Only when she performs a Sonic Blast right at her ears, does she snap out with a stinging ear.

“Argh...T-Thank you. Are you sure it's going to work though?"

"Yep! Since you're inside a dummy right now, it should work wonderfully! Now come on Merli-sis, try it!"

“O-Okay…"

[You have learned the skill "Through the Dummy's Eyes (Language Translator-Type)]

After hearing the panel from heaven notifying her, after the book immediately disappears on her hand into particles (she still doesn't get used to it), Merlis confirmed that the skill is learned, before wanting to test it out.

“Or so I do...but what are we going to be testing with here, first? It needs to be something we both recognize, that is also different from our common tongues…"

"Hm...Oh, I know which language we could test!"

[こんにちは!]

Immediately scribbling this on the ground, Merlis immediately recognized the language, as well as understanding what it meant. After all, this language has been so widespread within the player's community in Centras, that it might as well be the unofficial second tongue.

"Activate "Through the Dummy's Eyes" "

[You have used the skill "Through the Dummy Eyes (Language Translator-Type)". The dummy accompanying you at the moment will translate it…]

[Translation: Hello!]

Immediately after, a subtitle (along with the accompanying dummy) shows up in front of her eyes, translating the word into what she knows, confirming its veracity.

"Hm… The dummy aside, it works out so far. Can't believe it works with Player's language as well…"

"Then, let's keep testing! I have something a bit more complicated!"

Immediately, a pain-in-the-butt Kanji appears on the ground with another quick scribble. Even in a world as chuuni-filled as Isekai Online, this Kanji only appears once or twice, and one of them obviously being touted as a work of art describing the innermost feeling of man.

However, the translation skill still works flawlessly.

[Translation: The kanji was used to describe a traveler's first journey in which he would encounter the world in its full beauty. It then evolved to mean that no matter how long and hard it took to complete a journey, the path that you take will be filled with wonderful things (also, it's just complicated for no reason, tbh)]

"Mm, mm...Look like not only can it pick out the surface meaning of the word, but also the deeper interpretation of it, as well as the hidden meaning the writer put into it…"

"Hm, seems like so! So, does this skill work out the way you wanted it to?"

"Look like it’s so from the look at it, and more… Stray question: So even you find this Kanji annoying as well?"

"? Well, yeah. This is definitely not for conservation purposes, and not like there is some non-telepathic way you can even converse this properly…"

"I see, I see… interesting factoid indeed."

"?"

Under Marigold’s puzzling tilt, Merlis silently took out a small notebook for herself, furiously scribbling something on it.

'Theory disproved: The “annoying” Kanji is indeed not for talking purposes to anyone, even for one that is certifiably transcendentally beautiful. This further proves that anyone that actively uses this in day-to-day conversation is just a stuck-up ass that's way too deep in their own “artistic integrity” and “liberty of expression”, tsk.'

Writing even her vexation into the note, the anger she exudes upon each and every stroke and grunt she makes is so palpable, that both Marigold and Dragon secretly want to take a peek, wondering as to who…

"Ahem… Now that we have established a means of understanding, can we please get back on track?"

Only when Rose makes a coughing loud enough to be visible to space, that Merlis gets snapped out of it, and gets back to business.