As I drove downtown, I tried to put together the bits of information I had from my static-filled phone call with Henry:

Henry was on the planet Azodii, I was to join him there and we would spend the next two days on the planet. I needed to bring a heavy coat, aluminum foil, and wooden matches to the Blarney Stone Inn in downtown.

The Blarney Stone is a small bar in Little Tokyo that features signature Irish coffees, karaoke, and a secret wormhole portal in the restroom, which leads to the interdimensional plane of the High Council of Slatt. Whenever Henry and I have to speak to the Council in person, we use the energy portal in third stall of the men's room to travel through time/space to Council Territory. Presumably, the Council would give me more details about the situation on Azodii.

I found a long-term parking garage on Spring Street, then walked through the parking lot of a furniture wholesaler, until I reached the small alley that led to the entrance of the Blarney Stone. My briefcase was balanced on top of my rolling gym bag and, because I needed a free hand, I decided to wear my red Canada Goose jacket.

By the time I reached the door of the Blarney Stone there were beads of sweat on my forehead. I remembered that it was supposed to reach ninety-five degrees today in downtown. The bar had just opened, it was empty except for a few gray-haired regulars who sat facing the bar. Liam, the octogenarian bartender, had his back to me when I entered, so I rolled my bag straight to the men's room without anyone noticing.

The bulky ski jacket made it difficult for me to turn around inside toilet stall, but I somehow managed to squeeze myself and my luggage inside, and close the door. To my relief, the blue glow of the energy portal appeared almost immediately; my body, luggage, puffy jacket and overpriced Vicchady tie were all broken down into molecular particles and beamed through time/space to Council Territory.

~~

"Officer, is the Earth attorney here?"

"He just arrived, sir. His form is still stabilizing."

I recognized the voices as Latakian, a race from one of the Oam moons, but I couldn't see anything yet. My eyeballs were still restructuring on a cellular level.

"Good. Once his body firms up, bring him to Transport Bay nine. The Lord High Councilman is waiting for him."

"Yes, sir. Hail Slatt!"

"Hail Slatt!"

I felt three hands grab at me: one on each shoulder, and one guiding my arm. My optic nerves clicked back into place, and my vision improved from complete blackness to a swirl of blurry shapes and shadows.

I could see that I being led down a windowless hallway by a Latakian Council Guard. Latakians make excellent guards – their extra set of arms is useful when handling unruly prisoners. The guard was guiding me with three hands, while using his fourth to drag my rolling luggage alongside us.

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

"Mweh gohh shee duh boun-shumunn?" As garbled mess spilled out of my mouth, I realized that my tongue and soft-palette were still mushy, not fully formed - a side effect of traveling through the energy portal. The Latakian guard turned his froglike head and shook it from side to side.

"I did not understand that, Earth attorney."

I swallowed hard to draw up some saliva, then licked my lips and tried again: "We're… going to see… the Councilman?"

"We're preparing an energy portal for you in one of the Transport Bays. Councilman Farkvold will meet us there and he'll explain the rest."

The guard loosened his grip on my shoulders and arms. My legs were a little less rubbery now, and I was able walk on my own. Everything still looked soft, like peering through a dirty pane of glass. I squinted at the Latakian guard - there was something familiar about him.

"Blar-gck?" I said. "Is that you? Sorry, my vision is still coming into focus."

"Yes, it's me. Hello Marsh," Blar-gck said. "It's good to see you again."

"You look different… have you lost some weight?"

Blar-gck emitted a loud, croak-like bellow; I nearly jumped out of my skin before realizing that it was a laugh. "No, I'm afraid I'm still as heavy as I ever was," Blar-gck turned his enormous head to me and blinked. "It's my eyes. See?"

I squinted again and leaned toward Blar-gck. "Oh! Yeah," I said. "Your eyes are blue now. Didn't they used to be green?"

"Don't tell anyone," Blar-gck rumbled. "They're cosmetic eye lenses. My wife likes them, she finds the blue to be…attractive." His frog-lips curled upward into a kind of grin.

"Well, I agree. Those eyes are very fetching, Blar-gck. So, it sounds like things are better at home these days?"

"Much better!" Blar-gck said. "Thank you for asking. My wife and I have been communicating more frequently, just as you suggested."

"Great," I said. "And it's been helpful?"

"Most helpful, yes. Most days, I no longer desire to murder her."

"That's good to hear." We continued down the endless hallway, twisting and turning from one windowless corridor to another. My eyes eventually adjusted and I could see clearly again. Still, without Blar-gck guiding me, I would have been lost in the labyrinth of Council hallways.

"So," Blar-gck said. "I hear you're heading to Azodii. Ever been?"

"No. Actually, I've never been to another planet."

"You're kidding! Really?"

"Just here. Does this place count?"

"Council Territory? Well, we're not on another planet. We're in a dimensional plane that's separate from the physical universe of the Territories," Blar-gck said it simply, but to be honest, I've never been able to wrap my mind around the 'separate dimension' concept. "This is a constructed station that's floating in space," he continued. "So no. This place doesn't count. Oh, but you're going to love Azodii! I went once when I was a youngling, a few years before I started training for the Slatt Guard. It's a wonderful place… once you get indoors."

"I heard about the cold," I said.

"You'll be glad you brought that coat. But once you're out of the harsh weather, you can see how beautiful the planet is: giant snow-covered carbon-mountains, frost creatures that soar through the sky at night hunting firebugs, the three ice-moons of Odii hanging in the sky until the daily eclipse…" Blar-gck's pace slowed and he seemed lost in thought. "I remember my days on Azodii well. And fondly. There was even a young Azodii named Gnew who took a fancy to me… Ah, but that was a long time ago. Here we are!"

Blar-gck stopped in front of a section of hallway that looked identical to everything in front of and behind us. He opened his mouth, in a flash his frog-tongue slapped against an unmarked section of wall in front of us. Blar-gck's tongue left a wet splatter on the wall, and I watched as a seam appeared and a previously unseen door hissed open before us.

"Transport Bay number nine," Blar-gck gestured to the dark entrance with one hand, while handing me my rolling bag and briefcase with the other two.

"It was great to see you again, Blar-gck," I said. "Send my best to your wife."

"Thank you, Earth attorney Marsh," Blar-gck nodded his oversized head. "You can go ahead on in, they're expecting you."