"Henry, you said the flight from LA to Azodii took about an hour?"

We were weaving our way through the back-halls of the Palace grounds, past overflowing dumpsters and foul-smelling sewer grates. We were flanked by four armed members of the Azodii Militia, with Major Salient Kale in the lead as we marched toward the hangar.

"Maybe an hour and a half," Henry said as he stepped over a puddle of sludge. "There's a warp-drive or hyper-drive or something that the ship uses to move around the galaxy quickly. You'll see. It kind of felt like when we jump through the energy portal at the Blarney Stone."

It had been a long day. I'd already gone through two inter-dimensional wormholes, plus I caught mild hypothermia, and was dosed with an alien hallucinogenic before being stripped naked and nearly beaten to death by an angry crowd. I wasn't looking forward to a trip on a spaceship with a warp-drive or hyper-drive or whatever it was. But an unexpected detour to Milan sounded better than two weeks inside an Azodii jail cell, waiting for trial.

We were heading home, so there was something to be said about that. Our home planet, at least. Italy isn't exactly next door to Los Angeles. Our return to Earth was a step in the right direction, but we were still prisoners facing a death-sentence from the Azodii Tribunal.

I looked up and saw two of the Qwazler Moons glowing overhead through the ceiling of the glass dome, then glanced back down just in time to avoid stepping in a pile of wet garbage.

We finally arrived at the hangar, which was nearly empty: there were three worn and aged spacecrafts, plus an oversized shining metallic dish that I correctly guessed was the Klargung Cruiser charted by Slatt. Kale marched us at gunpoint up the ramp and aboard the ship.

Although the vessel looked enormous from the outside, the interior was modest. It resembled the inside of a small airplane, with four loveseat-sized benches for passengers split by an aisle, and a small door in the front that led to the controls and cockpit.

The inside of the cruiser may have seemed smaller because it was packed with bodies: Premier Oato and Lady Denebola were in front-left loveseat, Major Kale took the empty seat next to Doctor Sylk on their right. The six Azodii Militia soldiers who were escorting us squeezed themselves, three-and-three, into the remaining two seats and fastened their safety harnesses into place.

Which left Henry and I standing in the back of the craft.

"Where do we sit?" I asked.

A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

"Prisoners and pets travel in the kennels," Lady Denebola said over her shoulder. Oato turned in his seat and pointed behind us. There were two metal cages, standing about four feet high, with digital keypad locks on the outside.

"You Highness," Henry said in his smoothest voice. "Surely, there must be-"

"THERE ARE NO OTHER SEATS, EARTH ATTORNEYS!" Lady Denebola's voice seemed to shake the parked spacecraft. "Now get into those kennels so we can leave! I can't bear the thought of my tortured husband's murderers roaming free for another second!"

"This is going to wrinkle our suits even more," Henry mumbled to himself as he opened the door of his metal cage and bent to step inside. I did the same and closed the door behind me.

I sat cross-legged on the floor and turned to look at Henry, my oxygenator mask smacking against the bars of the cage as I moved my head. Henry was nervously winding his hand around a flexible subway-strap that dangled from the inside of the cage.

"We're ready!" Parksnip Oato reached forward in his seat and pounded on the cockpit door. "Sharon, let's get moving!"

"Okey dokey, Premier Oato!" Sharon's muffled voice answered from behind the door. The cabin lurched forward, I saw the darkness of space approaching through the side window as the Klargung Cruiser slowly taxied to the edge of the open hangar.

My stomach rumbled. I couldn't remember the last time I had eaten anything. "I don't suppose they're going to serve a meal?" I whispered to Henry.

"Trust me," Henry said. "You're not going to want to eat anything."

There was a clicking noise, and Sharon's chipper voice blared from speakers inside the cabin. "Welcome to the Klargung Cruiser! I'm Sharon, your pilot. Today we'll be traveling from the Palace of Bal on Planet Azodii to the outskirts of Milan, Italy on Planet Earth. Please fasten your safety harnesses! Launch is in five seconds."

"I really can't believe she's a robot," Henry said. "I mean, she doesn't sound like an artificial life form, does she?"

"No," I said. "Henry, why would I not want to–"

The engines fired; there was a deafening roar from behind us, I barely had time to grab a hold of the safety strap before the force pushed my body flat against the back of the kennel. A second engine fired and the gravity in the cabin seemed to reverse, I was pinned to the floor, as if we were inside a rapidly ascending elevator.

"Jesus," I said through gritted teeth. "Henry, is it like this the whole time?"

"It gets a little better toward the end," Henry was hanging onto the subway strap in his cage for dear life, struggling to raise his head from the floor.

"I thought you said it was a smooth ride!"

"It was better when I was sitting in a chair, Marsh!" The roller-coaster of gravity forces switched again, Henry and I were both thrust forward, our duck-billed oxygenator masks ricocheted off the front bars of the cage. I heard Henry groan.

"That one hurt," he said.

Sharon's cheery voice blared through the cabin speakers: "Okay, everyone! Please hold on tight as we break through the Azodii atmosphere and get on out into space. Thank you!"

We were tossed quickly to the left and then a hard right, I slammed back and forth against the sides of the kennel like a chime inside a bell.

"So, it's another hour and a half of this?" I asked Henry as pressure threw us against the back wall of the cage once again.

"I might have exaggerated," Henry said. "It's probably closer to two hours."