"There's a show?"

I wondered if maybe Henry and I should have stayed behind to review the contracts. It was shaping up to be a long night ahead of us, and we still had a lot of paperwork to review. Legal drafting is difficult to parse under normal circumstances; I wasn't looking forward to reading a contract that was written and translated by the High Council of Slatt.

Henry told me earlier that he hadn't slept since the night before last. But if he was tired, he was doing a good job covering it up. He appeared to be genuinely enjoying the music and atmosphere inside the Main Hall.

The Hall sloped downward like an amphitheater, and at the center was an enormous statue that looked like it was carved from a single piece of stone. It showed a figure, a bearded man who could have been human, looking up toward the sky with an ear-to-ear grin and bracing a power-tool of some kind, something that resembled a jackhammer. The figure was practically naked, wearing only the now-familiar antler headdress and a small speedo-like loincloth.

I pointed to the statue, "Doctor Sylk, is that Gar-Mel?"

"The Great Gar-Mel of Hon, yes," Sylk belched and slapped his ample stomach. "The annual feast is in his honor. And below the statue is the Heart Chamber – the entrance to the very core of Planet Azodii."

Azodii were circulating the room with plates of food and steaming pitchers, and soon another hot mug of Tchugg was pressed into my hands. Henry had one as well, but a look suddenly came over him and he handed his mug to me.

"Hold this for a second, Marsh," Henry dug into the interior pockets of his tweed jacket, searching for something. He produced a wallet and a gold cigar case before finding his phone – it was flashing a rainbow of colors and indecipherable characters.

"Can you excuse us for a moment, Doctor Sylk? We have to take this call." Henry waved his phone at me as we walked a few feet away. "It's the High Council."

We huddled into a corner of the room and Henry answered, putting the phone on speaker and holding it close to our ears:

"Lord High Councilman? Can you hear us?" Henry yelled into the phone.

"Why are you shouting, Earth attorney?" Lord Farkvold's voice was crackled and metallic. "Has Mr. Marshall joined you?"

"Yes, I'm here, your Lordship," I said.

"Marsh had a bit of a rocky entrance, but –"

"Nope, no issues!" I cut Henry off and glared at him, shaking my head. The last thing we needed right now was a nervous client; Farkvold didn't need to know about my travel mishap. "I made it just fine. We've met with the Premier already, and everything is… great. So far."

"That is good news. Have the contracts been signed?"

This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author's consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.

"Not yet, Lordship," Henry said. "We're meeting with the Premier tomorrow morning to finalize everything."

"We don't anticipate any problems," I added.

There was a long silence, and for a moment I wondered if we were disconnected. Then Lord Farkvold said, "Are you two… at a party?"

"Well, yes," Henry said. "It's some kind of holiday on Azodii. We're here with the Premier and the royal family."

"We're guests of honor," I added.

"I see," Farkvold mumbled, almost as an afterthought. "Socializing as a negotiation technique."

Henry smirked, "Yes, it's quite popular on Earth. Marsh and I are both very good at it. Well, me more than Marsh."

"It is unusual for me to be so far removed from a planetary acquisition," Lord Farkvold said. "I usually require planetary leaders to surrender to me, personally, publicly. Then, with their hand upon a Treaty of Acquisition, signed in blood, they must swear fealty to the Empire of Slatt. It is… uncomfortable for me to have such a passive involvement with the Azodii acquisition."

"Well, that is what you're paying us for," Henry said.

"Perhaps I should join you there, to help persuade the Premier?"

Henry and I both shook our heads furiously. If Lord Farkvold made an appearance on Azodii, it could only make things more difficult.

Henry said, in a voice that was surprisingly firm, "We can handle this, your Lordship."

"Fine. I want to discuss strategy before your meeting tomorrow," Farkvold almost sounded nervous. "Have you read the agreements thoroughly?"

"More or less," Henry lied.

"Review the materials tonight, and call me on this… primitive communicator device once you have familiarized yourself with everything. While I trust your negotiation methods, Earth attorneys, I will need to be assured that you know all parts of the Treaty. The High Council is expecting this acquisition to go smoothly."

A loud drumbeat filled the Main Hall, the lights around us started to grow dimmer and take on a blue hue. I noticed that another light, a bright spotlight, was focused on the statue of the antlered speedo-man in the center of the Hall.

"Looks like the show's starting," Henry whispered to me. "Let's wrap it up."

"Sure thing, Lord Farkvold!" I said loudly into the phone, above the tattoo of drumming. "We're going to duck out of the festival as soon as we are able. Then Henry and I will review the contracts and call you right after!"

The drums and voices grew louder, we could no longer hear anything from the phone speaker. "Talk to you soon, Lordship!" Henry yelled one last time before hanging up.

"Ah, there you are Mr. Todd!"

Henry and I turned to find Parksnip Oato standing behind us, leaning against his cane. The Premier had changed clothes, or more precisely removed clothes, since we last saw him. His new outfit was identical to the statue: only an antler helmet and the skimpiest pair of speedo briefs.

Parksnip clapped a six-fingered hand onto Henry's shoulder, and stood close enough to Henry that his chest-hairs brushed against the tweed jacket.

"Let me introduce you to King Azodii-Bal. Then we can watch the Heart Ceremony," Oato limped toward the center of the room and the crowd parted for us as we followed.

The Royal Box was at the edge of the stage area, just at the foot of the statue. As we approached, I caught my first glimpse of the ancient King Azodii-Bal, his wrinkled body crumpled into an oversized wooden throne, which only made him look smaller and frailer. Lady Azodii-Denebola stood by his side, smiling diplomatically as guests approached the throne and bowed to their decrepit King.

"Be sure to speak loudly when addressing the King," Parksnip Oato said as we stepped forward. The drumming had stopped, but the lights in the Hall remained dim.

"Is his hearing bad?" I asked.

"His everything is bad," Oato said. "King Azodii-Bal was a brave and mighty leader. But now, at his advanced age, he is capable of little on his own. He would starve to death if Lady Denebola didn't spoon-feed him Voyt Jelly at mealtimes."