The next few weeks went by with little to no action, the fact that I was hoping for a dungeon battle to happen means that I am beyond bored. I did spend a few days working on using all 8 of my eyes. It was trippy at first leading to many headaches and a few dizzy spells, but in the end, I was able to use all 320 degrees of vision. I also learned a very uncomfortable thing that I had been trying to ignore, I was able to spray and use webs. I had to flex the same muscles that I would use to go to the bathroom, but I could shoot a web at least 15 feet and have it stick to the wall. It was strong enough for me to dangle from the ceiling with a single string and it did not stick to me at all. I was surprised at my own strength, but I could hang with just two back legs upside down for over an hour without getting even a little tired.
I tried to swing around like a monkey from the ceiling, but that led to a nasty fall and another dislocated shoulder, and a few days of recovery. I walked to the tree room a few times to talk to Ella. She stopped jumping in my presence, although she still refused to look me in the eyes. But I didn't take that to heart since I wasn't the most sightly person anymore.
“Daisy, it's been almost half a year since anything happened at all. I’m getting so bored.” I was lying on my back tossing my version of a rubber band ball which was just a rock wrapped in spider web and covered in dirt so it isn't sticky anymore. After over 100 layers it became bouncy and was kind of fun to bounce off the wall and catch.
“There is nothing I can do about this,” Daisy said in her same monotone voice.
“Come on. We had a dungeon and a world attached in half the amount of time that I have been waiting for now.”
“There is nothing I can do about this” She repeated herself.
“Can you at least try?”
“There is… a dungeon connection imminent.” I rolled over and scuttled to my feet.
“Seriously? I knew you could do it?”
“I did nothing of the sort.” The dungeon started to shake a rumble.
“Shhh, just take the compliment,” I ordered all the soldiers to get ready. “Where is the dungeon appearing?”
“The forested room.”
“Fucking hell. Tell the spiders to get her out.” I had one of my eight eyes closed as all the spiders rushed to the tunnel to the forest room. Two of the poison spider icons moved into the tree room and toward the elf icon. I looked through the surveillance spider to see the spiders run into the hut and pull a screaming elf out and into the cave.
Her shrill screams echoed through the cave as I came into the second room. Ella was curled into the corner of the cave with the spiders around her. She was clearly terrified.
“Back up. Let her breathe a little.” I pushed the poison spiders back and stepped up to her. “Sorry about that. We have a dungeon attaching itself to us and the portal is going to open in that room so we had to get you out.” It took her a few minutes to get herself back into working order. In the meantime, I had the same setup as before. Two tanks with poison gunners on top were stationed at the entrance to the second room. I had the trap spider check the poison traps before having him rest in the tunnels between the two rooms ready for an ambush. I had my supply of poisonous spears and softball-sized rocks next to me along with my rock shield. The shaking stopped and I could see the vortex appear from the surveillance spider.
“What is going on?” Ella said after finally coming to.
“As I said before. A dungeon is attached to us and the portal is opening in the tree room so we needed to get you out.”
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“I don't really understand.”
“Well from what Daisy has told me, the dungeon kinda flies around in interdimensional space and every once in a while it can bump into another dungeon and attack. During that time we fight for dominance and resources. If one side wins they absorb the other. If it's a tie then the dungeons will eventually separate.” As I explained about the dungeons I kept one eye closed while focusing on the vortex. As of yet, there was no movement from this side. Then again, they are probably doing the same thing as me and setting up a defense.
“What kind of dungeon is it?” Ella’s question was valid and one I really wish I had an answer to.
“No idea. It could be anything really. My only hope is that this is a weaker dungeon.”
“What happens if it's not?”
“Then we have one hell of a fight on our hands.” I used to get nervous when I was a human before entering a dungeon, and even as a monster I was worried about what was on the other side of the portals. This time, however, I was excited. Maybe it was because I have been so damn bored while waiting, or maybe I was just getting used to this lifestyle. Either way, my blood was pumping with adrenaline.
After an hour of waiting I began to wonder if I had been too hasty with my preparations. For all I knew, the other dungeon was waiting for me to take the first move.
“I could send one of the surveillance spiders through and see what is on the other side.” I was mostly talking to myself. “If I did that, we could launch an attack first. Although it is dangerous to go into their territory without any idea of who we are dealing with.” I leaned back looking at the ceiling in deep contemplation.
“There is some movement at the gate.” Daisy’s words brought me back to this world.
“Perfect.” Everyone got a little tense and I focused on the screen. It did its usual flex before a massive creature stepped through. It looked like a bear and an armadillo had a child and then bred it with a pug. Its flat face was pressed to the ground sniffing aggressively with snorts that could be heard in the caves. The creature was slow-moving and rocked its massive body from side to side as it lumbered around. I had never seen, heard of, or read of any creature that looked even remotely close to this one. Honestly, I wasn't even sure if it was considered a threat or not.
After watching it stupidly lumber around sniffing and snorting for over 10 minutes I couldn't wait any longer. I stepped past the two tanks and made my way toward the dumb-looking creature. I peeked my head out from the cave and watched it move around. It looked even more stupid up close. It stood at least 5 feet tall at the top of its rough tan armadillo-looking shell. The only clear weapons that it possessed were massive talons that dug up the dirt with each step. I stepped out of the cave and walked toward it slowly. The creature noticed me once I was about 10 feet away. It immediately snapped into a ball with a loud thud as its shelled body hit the ground. Touching the shell I could feel small hairs coming off of its rough texture. I smacked my knuckles on it like I was knocking on a door. There was no reply. I banged on the shell hard enough to hurt my hand. Nothing.
“Well, it sure has a hard shell.” The spiders and elf had come out of the cave at this point and made their way to me.
“What is that?” Ella asked gently, touching it.
“Paradillo bear,” I said immediately without thinking.
“I have never heard of a creature like that.” Ella was clearly intrigued by the creature and was inspecting it closely. Well, that's because I made it up. But there was no need to tell her that. We stood around it for a while seeing if there was going to be any reaction, but there was none. I debated calling the miner spiders in to see if we could chisel this guy open, but thought better of it and decided to wait it out.
The big creature took over an hour before it started to move. It slowly unrolled itself and looked around at us with a watchful eye. The closer I looked at its face the more I knew that there was not a single thought behind those eyes. It had a squished face that made it have trouble breathing quietly and often drooled. Ella was elated to see it and was the first to reach out, get consent, and pet this oaf vigorously. It responded, what I assume was a purr, sounded like a broken lawnmower that was being smothered to death. I couldn't help but giggle at my joke.
“You know. I heard that armadillo tastes like chicken.” I said as the beast walked off sniffing the ground.
“We are not eating Elton,” Ella said furiously.
“It was just a thought. And you already named him?”
“Yes. He is cute.” She said definitely. This was the first actual conversation I had ever had with her. I looked at the creature's face and imagined him as an Elton and cackled out loud. The noise was positively terrifying to Ella and Elton who immediately balled up again.
“Fine, we will call him Elton. But we aren't keeping him.” I said, wiping a tear away. I felt like a strict parent telling their kid they can't keep the stray cat. Ella huffed a little and went back to the balled-up Elton and tried to coax it open.