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97. To Shed all That I am

A week had passed since we parted ways with Ev and I had grown incredibly sick.

So much so that Ower had to hoist me up as we walked.

My body had grown so weak it got to the point where I couldn’t even stay awake for more than a few hours at a time.

Ncil poured a ton of life into me but, if anything, I only got sicker.

“What should we do? We can’t walk out in the open with him in this condition.” Ncil asked.

We were in the subspace, but even from here, I could see that a storm was raging in the physical world.

Ower looked around and lightly gasped upon spotting something.

“Come!” He said before leading Ncil somewhere far from the path that led north.

“Mmm… I need you to shield him from the rain for a bit.” Ower said.

Ncil nodded before loudly gasping as she and I materialized only to get pelted by the harsh rains that swept across the grey morning sky.

Ncil covered me in a soaked blanket but this meant she was exposed.

I tried creating a wall of darkness to shield us but I couldn’t even raise a finger, let alone manipulate darkness and so I rested my head on her lap as she held me.

A drenched Ower eventually returned and he quickly grabbed Ncil and I into what I assumed was an underground cavern.

It was pretty spacious although I could see a pool of water near its furthermost wall.

Ower tried his best to sweep away the water that remained on the floor using space magic, but there was only so much he could do.

He then rushed to my side, took off his armor and grabbed Ncil and I allowing us to rest in his embrace all while Ncil fed me wisps of life.

My mind trembled as I heard, even from down here, the distant thunder that shook skies above.

.

..

I coughed repeatedly and painfully as I slept on a makeshift bed next to Ncil, who’s eyes glowed brightly.

We sat in silence while the hole where my belly button once was painfully ached.

I felt as though I was being drained of my very soul and the pain only intensified as the days passed.

Ower had gone out to hunt for something and Ncil kept the cavern alit by swirling wisps of green light near the cavern’s roof.

I rested my head on my slightly damp, but warm bed and thought about the dark being which had eaten me.

I definitely knew it had something to do with my condition, but ever since that day, I was no longer able to visit that dark terrible place.

Every time I closed my eyes, I just slept.

“How are you feeling?” Ncil asked while gently running her hands through my now neck long hair.

“I… feel… fantastic.” I wheezed and this brought a weak smile to the Black Blade’s face.

“Hehe. I wonder what Katsíki would think if he knew our body was like this… knowing him, he’d probably say something reasonable like we should turn back or something.”

“True, but I suggest that you preserve your energy.” Ncil said prompting me to weakly nod my head.

Ower eventually returned with a pig that squeezed loudly in fear.

Hehe.

Who wouldn’t scream upon being snatched up by a Kommáti?

I watched as he butchered the smelly beast and after creating a medium sized fire, he roasted it, filling the air with a delectable aroma.

To spare us from the smoke, Ower sent it out of the cavern using his oh so handy space magic.

We eventually ate before sitting resting in the cavern as the storm raged above.

But, as my body ached and shivered, I thought about everything.

From the earliest days of my childhood, to the day I met that peculiar little goat.

I was innocent once.

A boy, just like any other.

Filled with curiosity and wonder.

This wonder led me to the tent of a certain Ia man shortly after the collision.

Father had just gathered the three major Rendaro tribes in what would become Iana and as the prince of the new great Rendaro King, I demanded that man teach me all he knew and he did.

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He taught me many things, one of which was that the Ia were an underhanded sort.

I watched as he lied and schemed his way into becoming an Elder and with every step he took, he taught me new amazing things.

The pleasures of the flesh, the limits of the mind and the fragility of the soul.

Funnily or sadly enough, as he got closer and closer to his goal of ruling over the Ia, he grew less interested in the forbidden arts.

Sometimes I think I was the one who refused to grow.

To move past that.

Although I think I realized it at some point.

Maybe that’s why I was so bored during the last few years in the palace.

I let out a sigh as my thoughts settled on that which I had tried not to think about for the longest time.

“Mmm?” Ower sounded. His voice, a deep growl that shook the inner parts of my ears.

“I- do you think I could ever becoming worthy of being loved again?” I asked.

Silence followed.

A silence that broke my heart.

I looked for Ower’s eyes in the dimly lit cavern but they didn’t meet mine.

I looked at Ncil, but she too had her eyes and head lowered.

I then let out a weak and pained gasp upon noticing that tears had begun falling from my eyes.

Hot and rapid, they fell without end as my heart painfully knocked on my chest.

I rested my head and looked up in search of where it all went wrong but finding a single point to blame was harder than I thought and besides… it’s not like I was ever forced to do anything.

Everything I am, everything I did was done by my own two hands and so I chuckled in defeat.

I then closed my aching eyes and allowed myself to sleep in a desperate attempt to find something or someone to cling to.

.

..

I awoke in the arms of a certain gigantic woman as the red storm above raged.

She held me gently but before I could lean into any comfort I felt, I looked my belly button and saw something sticking out of it.

It was almost invisible but I could see feint wisps of darkness going from my navel into the chord.

I followed the dark tube and found that it led into the pool of blood within which the giantess sat. It dangled between her thighs but before I could follow the chord any further, the giantess sighed, shaking the world.

I watched as her body moved awkwardly.

She looked uncomfortable.

I weakly pointed at the forest in the distance but she didn’t respond.

I was sure it’d be more comfortable there than at the bottom of a crater but she didn’t seem interested.

I sighed before looking down at her belly.

I reached out and gently placed a wet, open hand on the belly’s smooth surface.

I could feel a feint thumping sensation and each thump brought me nothing but pain.

I didn’t care.

I wanted to hold onto the pain for as long as I could.

The giantess joined me in touching her belly and I watched curiously as she did small, cute convulsions every time we felt the thump.

This was beautiful and everything, but I was getting tired of the bloody rain.

The giantess must have felt my discomfort because she raised her right hand.

A harsh torrent of blood rain then fell and in the following instant, the skies were clear. There was no sun, it was just an endless dark grey vista.

I also felt… calm.

My gaze turned to the massive streams of blood that now fell into the crater.

It was all being sucked up rapidly into the giantess and by the way her body twitched, the process didn’t seem comfortable.

The blood eventually completely drained and it looked as though the woman was beyond exhausted and so, with me in hand, she placed her right arm on the egg and rested her head on it.

A moment passed and I assumed she had fallen asleep.

I tried escaping from her embrace, but she held me tightly every time I tried.

I sighed and gasped.

I was able to hear my own voice now.

But… the woman was sleeping and so I decided to remain silent.

My eyes eventually fell and I joined the woman in sleep.

.

..

The next day arrived rather pleasantly.

I was still in a ton of pain, but my thoughts all felt so clear.

I opened my eyes to find Ncil and Ower sleeping next to each other.

I knew Ower wasn’t technically sleeping but from all I’d seen, even demigods needed rest.

I looked at these two and it’s in this moment that something became painfully clear to me.

I bit my teeth as a familiar rage surfaced in my mind but I was fine with it.

I would serve it until it sated and hopefully after everything was over, Katsíki and I could return home and live as carelessly as we did in the beginning.

I was more than willing to abandon all that I was for this and so I closed my eyes and allowed myself to rest.

.

..

Three days went by and although I hadn’t recovered much, the storm above had passed.

We wore our gear and returned to the surface which, although bathed in the bright light of the morning sun, still looked damp.

Cold winds blew by but Ower spared us from the worst of it.

We walked northward.

Across the vast grassy planes of Centora and after three entire days of walking, the capital city of Aurenia came into view.

Strangely enough, the city was built around a large and deep valley but the more I looked at it, the more unnatural it seemed.

It looked more like someone extremely powerful had cut open the ground at some point and people decided to build a city around the cut.

I had a feeling that a certain someone made the cut.

Tall walls lined the city’s perimeter and several thin bridges could be seen going from one side of the chasm to the other.

We would have to go around the city before making our way to the mountains beyond.

I glanced at Ower and saw that he was ready.

I looked back at Ncil who’s eyes flashed green in acknowledgement.

I then took a step towards the city below but just as my sandals dug into the dirt, a man appeared before us.

He stood at around three meters tall, had dim golden eyes and wore dark, leather clothes. His face was riddled with scars, one of which kept his lips from fully closing.

He also had a sheath around his waist which housed a dagger.

Ower raised his sword alongside Ncil, but the man simply sighed in response.

“Calm down. I don’t want to fight.” The man said. His voice so low deep, it shook my very bones.

“My name is Bor and I have come to fetch you on behalf of Gulanimphen, head of the Hellish Horde.”

I glanced at Ower and focused on his missing arm.

I then looked at Ncil, who looked rather tired.

We were in no condition to fight.

“What does he want?” I asked while nodding towards Ower.

Ncil understood my gesture and walked closer to the Kommáti.

“He just wants to talk. He says that you and him have quite a bit in common. He wants to discuss those commonalities over dinner.”

“What happens if I decline?”

Bor sighed before placing his very calloused hands on his waist.

I kept an eye on his dagger but he simply turned around and looked out into Gordias.

“The city is crawling with loyalist knights. Even if you were to flank the city, chances are that you’d run into a few Secundair knights and I’m guessing your friend over there would lose at least another arm.” Bor said.

I bit my teeth.

I obviously didn’t trust him or anything he said, but it was clear that he was strong.

Beings like him often carried themselves so casually.

After all, mice and deer are the one’s that run and scurry while lions lounge until the time comes to feed.

I sighed.

“What happens if we come across the knights you mentioned on our way to Gulanimphen?” I asked.

Bor turned around and shot me a grin which was missing a few teeth.

“I’ll tear them in half. So, you coming?”

I slowly nodded prompting Bor to nod as well.

He then led us down the path that led straight into Gordias while Ncil held Ower's hand tightly.