Ronan eagerly looked towards the Gryffindor table when he heard that Ron got a howler. He knew what a Howler was, it was a magical letter in a red envelope that enchants the written message into the writer’s voice. When opened the letter starts narrating the message in a rather high volume, which only increases with time if the recipient does not open it in time, or it even might explode.
Everyone around the great hall was looking at Weasley when with trembling hands he broke the seal of the letter. As the seal broke, the letter started floating in the air, screaming at the top of the lungs…
“Ronald Weasley! How dare you steal the car…” The first few sentences were enough to gather the attention of every passerby, and it might have been Ronan’s hallucination, but he could swear dust falling from the ceiling as soon as Mrs. Weasley started screaming.
“… Stealing the car, I wouldn't have been surprised if they would have expelled you. YOU WAIT TILL I GET MY HANDS ON YOU. I dont suppose you stopped to think what your father and I went through when we saw that the car was gone, you along with it…”
The whole Slytherin table started laughing hysterically, they were really enjoying the show. Ronan was surprised at how loud the howler really was because he felt that the sound of Mrs. Weasley's voice was getting louder and louder with every passing moment, even the silverware on their table had started to rattle because of her voice.
“… Letter from Dumbledore last night, I thought your father would die of shame, we didnt bring you up to behave like this, you three could have all died…”
Crabbe was laughing so loudly that he fell off the table, but no one was looking at him. They were too busy making fun of Ron. “…Absolutely disgusted… Your father is facing an inquiry at work and it is entirely your fault. Let me make myself clear Ronald Arthur Weasley, one more stunt like this and we will bring you back home!”
With the message over, the red envelope burst into flames and curled into ashes. When everyone thought that it was over, another owl swopped and dropped a very similar envelope in front of Neville, who became pale after seeing his name on the envelope…
That day they had double potions with Ravenclaw, followed by a single History of Magic. When the lunch bell every Slytherin was feeling already very sleepy from the History of Magic class, drowsily made their way to the Great Hall. Ronan was busy reading Voyages with Vampire. As Lockheart had gone and changed the course books of the second year, he wanted to see whether there was something new that he had to read. But to his surprise, this book was simply a novel. Nothing more, nothing less.
The book portrayed Lockheart as a macho man who was not afraid of anything or anyone. But it didnt mention anything about Vampire’s magic, Vampiric bite cure, and its remedies. Hell, it doesn't even properly mention the Silvery Essence, a powerful potion and weapon against vampires. He knew that Lockheart was a fraud, but was surprised to see how idiotic Dumbledore was. Because if a wizard of his caliber could see through the lies of Lockhart, surely that old coot as well.
When they sat down, Daphne started chatting with him about the potions class. While Pancy was busy telling Blaise about the new rumor about Hana Montemgamary, a sixth-year Hufflepuff who is gunning for Flint, their team captain.
“Signed photos? You’re giving out signed photos, Longbottom?” Draco’s rather loud comment gathered their attention. Draco and goons had surrounded a first-year Gryffindor boy with a camera in his hands, who seemed like was talking to Longbottom and his gang.
“Everyone line up!” Malfoy roared to the crowd. “Neville Longbottom is giving out signed photos!”
“No, I’m not,” Neville said angrily as he stood up with his fists clenched. “Shut up, Malfoy.”
“You’re just jealous,” piped up boy with the camera.
“Jealous?” said Malfoy, “Of what? I don’t want a foul scar right across my chest, thanks. I don’t think getting your chest cut open makes you that special, myself.” Crabbe and Goyle were sniggered.
“Eat slugs, Malfoy,” said Ron angrily. Crabbe stopped laughing and started menacingly rubbing his knuckles.
“Be careful, Weasley,” sneered Malfoy. “You don’t want to start any trouble or your mommy will have to come and take you away from school.” He put on a shrill, piercing voice. “If you put another toe out of line…”
Then he put up an elderly woman’s voice and turned to Neville. “Frank and Alice would be so disappointed in you…” Harry, Ron, and Neville’s faces became red.
“Go away Malfoy,” Harry snarled. “Otherwise you will pay for it.”
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Draco just smirked at the threat, “You know what.. You should give your signed photos to Potter and Weasely. Because it would be worth than their family’s whole house…”
Ron whipped out his wand, which looked like it was wrapped with a Spellotap. Before the situation could escalate any further, Lockhart strode into the hall, “What is going on here?”
When Ronan thought that fight would be over, but then the idiotic professor said, “Who is giving out signed photos?”
Disappointed, Ronan then went back to reading the book. To make matters further worse, the next class was Defence against the Dark Arts, with Gryffindors nonetheless. He didnt want to get affected by the stupidity of Lockhart, so Ronan opted to sit in the back, where he was joined by Draco and his cronies and Blaise. While the girls were sitting all the way in the front.
When the whole was looking at Lockhart, that fellow started walking around the class. He took Travel with Troll, held it up to show his own winking portrait on the front.
“Me” he said, “Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defense League, and five-time winner of Witch Weekly’s Most-Charming-Smile Award… but I don’t talk about that. I didn’t get rid of the Bandon Banshee by smiling at her!” From his face, it was evident that Lockhart was waiting for a big laugh, instead, he received a few smiles from girls.
“I see you’ve all bought a complete set of my books,” Lockhart said. “… Well done. I thought we’d start today with a little quiz. Nothing to worry about… just to check how well you’ve read them, how much you’ve taken in…”
When he had handed out the test papers he returned to the front of the class and said, “You have thirty minutes — start — now!”
Ronan looked at the first question of the paper, What is Gilderoy Lockhart’s favorite color? He skipped the question and went to the second one, What is Gilderoy Lockhart’s secret ambition? Skipping it as well he went to the third one, What, in your opinion, is Gilderoy Lockhart’s greatest achievement to date?
Having enough of bullshit, he went on and scanned the whole paper. The whole thing contained personal questions, which urged him to burn the question paper and just walk away from the class. But somehow he suppressed his anger and decided to relax a little bit. This way he would have more energy when he would be doing things that really matter.
Half an hour later, Lockhart collected the papers and rifled through them in front of the class.
“I am disappointed,” Lockhart said, “Hardly any of you remembered that my favorite color is Lilac, I say so in Year with Yeti. A few of you need to read Wandering with Werewolves more carefully. And one of you needs to start reading my book… This guy has turned in a blank paper” Then the man asked, “Who is Ronan Johanson?” Everyone was surprised as Ronan was the best student of the year.
Ronan simply raised his hand and nodded, “Next time I will try my best, sir” Lockhart didnt pry further and went looking through papers again.
Lockhart then went to say some useless shit when he finally stopped at a particular paper “… Miss Hermione Granger knew my secret ambition is to rid of the world of evil and market my own range of hair-care potions…” He then looked around, “Good girl… You got full marks. Who is Hermione Granger?”
The bushy-haired girl who sitting in the front slowly raised her hand, avoiding making eye contact with the man.
“Excellent!” beamed Lockhart, “Quite excellent. Take ten points for Gryffindor.”
Lockhart then went to the front, “And so, onto business…” He bent down behind his desk and lifted a large, covered cage onto it. “Now… be warned! It is my job to arm you against the foulest creatures known to wizardkind! You may find yourselves facing your worst fears in this room. Know only that no harm can befall you whilst I am here. All I ask is that you remain calm.”
Ronan now leaned close to the desk, trying to guess what Lockhart would be showing them.
“I must ask you not to scream,” said Lockhart in a low voice. “It might provoke them.”
As the whole class held its breath, Lockhart whipped off the cover. “Yes,” he said dramatically. “Freshly caught Cornish pixies.”
Seamus Finnigan, a boy from Gryffindor couldn’t control himself and let out a snort of laughter that even Lockhart couldn’t mistake for a scream of terror.
“Yes?” Lockhart smiled at Seamus.
The boy’s confidence melted in front of the professor’s gaze, “Well, they’re not.. they’re not very… dangerous, are they?” Seamus said.
“Don’t be so sure!” said Lockhart, waggling a finger annoyingly at Seamus. “Devilish tricky little blighters they can be!”
Ronan stared at the electric blue and about 4 inches tall beings. They had pointed faces and looked like knock-off, horror copies of Smurfs. Ever since the cover had been off, the pixies had started jabbering and rocketing around, rattling the bars and making bizarre faces at the people nearest to them.
“Right, then,” Lockhart said loudly. “Let’s see what you make of them!” And he opened the cage.
It was pandemonium. The pixies shot in every direction like rockets. Several shot straight through the window, showering the back row with broken glass. The rest proceeded to wreck the classroom more effectively than a rampaging rhino. They grabbed ink bottles and sprayed the class with them, shredded books and papers, tore pictures from the walls, up-ended the waste basket, grabbed bags and books, and threw them out of the smashed window, within minutes, half the class was sheltering under desks.
While Ronan on the other hand stayed seated at his place. Some pixie had dropped a bottle of ink on him, and that pixie was dead, floating around him making others fear him. Whenever a pixie tried to approach him, they would end up dead on the floor, further solidifying fear in the little creature's heart.
Lockhart who was still behind his study table, took notice to Ronan, “That is how it is done, Mr. Johanson. But please dont kill them all.”
Then Lockhart rolled up his sleeve, whipped out his wand, and bellowed, “Peskipiksi Pesternomi” Nothing happened, while Ronan also suspected that it was not a real spell to begin with.
It was then one of the pixies managed to get the wand of Lockhart and threw it out of the window. Seeing the situation getting out of hand, Ronan got up.
He whipped out his wand, “Immoboulus!”
All the pixies flying in the air were seemingly immobilized as if floating in zero gravity. With huge strides, he went towards the door and exited the classroom, he didnt even stop even Lockhart was praising him and awarding Slytherin some points for his actions.