Damn that girl! She really just left me like this, all alone! Now I have no idea what I am even doing. Has this thing even started? It's too chaotic. Whoever is organizing this thing really needs to step it up!

Well, there is at least one thing I know I can do. Which is become a sheep. I'll just join the blob of people who are supposedly applicants! Great idea me. Go with the flow.

As I made it towards the blob, I was beginning to vaguely hear what people were saying, but it was all too loud.

"GET THE FUCK OUTTA THE WAY KID, ITS MY TURN FOR A PHOTO"

"NO YOU GET THE FUCK OUTTA THE WAY, WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE"

"GUYS PLEASE STOP TRAMPLING ON MY FEET"

Classic nerd behavior, huh? Well, this is not really helping me here. I think Rose was talking about how this woman in the middle was leading this whole thing. I guess I could ask her what I am even doing?

I pushed and shoved my way into the middle, just like the titans in the anime Attack on Titan. I thought people were going to get mad at me, but they were too busy getting mad at other people. I eventually reached a limit though. There were still a good...20 people between me and her. How would I get across? OH, amazing idea me!

"GUYS. GUYS!!! THERE'S A FIRE!!!!!!! RUNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Haha! That always works! People were gonna go nuts! Hell yes! And clear the path for me, maybe. Though, there is the downside of people possibly dying from getting trampled over, but that was probably already happening anyways.

...why isn't this working. Did no one here me?

"GUUUUUUUUUUUYYYYYYSSSSS!!! FIREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! RUNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!! DO YOU WANT TO BURN ALIVE???????"

"SHUT. THE FUCK. UP!!!!!!!!!! WHO ASKED?????????"

Whose voice was that? I turned. A very shady, tall looking boy with pink, star shaped sunglasses and pink star makeup on both of his cheeks. His black hair also seemed to have bright pink highlights. Wow.

"WHY ARE YOU BEING RUDE???", I said in a not rude manner, only shouting because otherwise I wouldn't be heard.

"NO ONE CARES ABOUT NO FIRE. DO YOU KNOW WHO IS IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS BLOB? WE WOULD ALL BE HAPPY TO BURN ALIVE IF IT WAS IN PROXIMITY TO HER!!!"

Wow, she must have dedicated fans. Huh, plan ruined though. Well, I guess I can ask this random guy about the preliminaries though.

"ARENT WE TRYING TO BECOME GODS HERE OR SOMETHING????"

"DUDE WHO ACTUALLY GIVES A FUCK???"

I do.

"I DO!!!!!!!"

"WELL I DON'T. AND NO ONE ELSE HERE DOES. GO AWAY IF YOU AREN'T TRYING TO SEE HER, YOU ARE WASTING SPACE!!!!"

Ugh. What the fuck am I even doing here? Am I really at the right place? I have no idea what I am doing.

As I was saying this, a figure appeared...walking on the water that surrounded the Rose Tower? Wow, I guess they really are Gods, huh. It was a woman with flowing blonde hair and HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK???

People immediately started jumping into the water towards her. Some people swam, some people flailed, and some people...just drowned? Hold up, what is even going on? I thought everyone was concentrated on the other woman? The pink stars guy from earlier started running as well. I tried to catch up to him.

"HEY!!!! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON NOW????"

No response. He had already jumped into the water and was now flailing around helplessly. I felt kind of bad, so I decided to help him. I jumped into the water...-well, not really. There were too many people and I think I landed on a few bodies, but honestly, it is their fault for jumping in in the first place. I sort of swam, sort of crawled my way to him and pulled him up.

"AUHWSFOKASPFQHEFPQWHF", said the guy whose body I was currently floating on. Well, oops I guess.

"LET GO OF ME. I AM CHASING MY DREAMS OUT HERE!!!"

"YOU ARE LITERALLY GOING TO DROWN. DO YOU WANT TO DIE?"

He tried to get me to let go of him, but failed. Eventually, I managed to pull him to shore.

"WHY DID YOU DO THAT? YOU SON OF A-"

Right when he was about to say a not very nice word, the blonde woman started speaking, now standing on a...platform made of water? It was pretty epic. I do kind of get why all these people are drowning for her now.

"SILENCE. EVERYONE."

The entirety of the crowd fell silent. Hundreds of bodies began floating up from the water...holy shit, that many people died??? Wait, no. They all looked to be fine...is this her doing? Now it makes a bit more sense...I suppose they would be fine with drowning in the water if they knew they would be saved...but maybe they should learn how to swim first?

"GREETINGS, APPLICANTS OF THE 20XX GOD EXAMINATIONS."

Examinations? No one told me about this?

"YOU MAY REFER TO ME AS "GODDESS" AND "GODDESS" ONLY DURING THIS PROCESS."

Huh? She isn't even gonna give us a name? Well, maybe he can tell me, seeing how much of a fanatic he is.

"Psst...hey, what's her actual name?"

"...dunno"

"What? You said you would die in a fire for this woman, yet you don't know her name?"

"None of us do. She's too high up for us commoners to know her name..."

"Huh. Then what do you refer to her as? Just "Goddess"? There are probably too many Gods for that to be viable."

"Yeah, you're right. We usually refer to her as-"

"BUT ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF. I AM THE GODDESS OF WATER-"

Ah, of course. Seeing as she seemed so proficient at moving around and shaping water, it would only make sense that-

"-BALLOONS. I AM THE 35TH HEAD OF THE "HappyLand Fun and Recreational Toys Committee". PLEASE CHECK OUT OUR LATEST WATER BALLOON PRODUCT AT YOUR LOCAL WALMART, THE NEW BOILING WATER BALLOON, CREATED WITH THE INTENT OF BEING FILLED UP WITH BOILING WATER UP TO 115 DEGREES CELSIUS."

Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.

Huh. Maybe I'll check that out, sound pretty sick. Wait, hold on. Goddess of Water Balloons? Why...do we need a goddess for water balloons? Eh, whatever. The boy to my side was cheering really passionately.

"YASSSS SLAY QUEEEEEEN!!!!"

Yeah, okay. She continued on.

"NOW TO OUR REGULAR PROGRAM. BRAVE, APPLICANTS. 11538 OF YOU HAVE APPLIED...LETS ASSUME A FEW DROWNED, SO 11535. PLEASE, FORM GROUPS OF FIVE NOW".

You are kidding me...this is a group thing? Did people know this beforehand? Wait, hold on. Is this why Rose abandoned me? To not be on my team? Rude!!! Oh god, I don't know anyone here. What if there are only a few stragglers left, and I get placed in the misfit team with all the other people with no friends? No! This cannot happen! I talked to the boy next to me.

"Hey...wanna team up?"

He looked hesitant, and responded:

"...are you good at throwing water balloons?"

"Huh?"

"You didn't know? Wait, of course you didn't. The preliminaries. At this location. It's a water balloon fight."

Ohhh....that's why a lot of people are wearing swimsuits. I did think that was kind of weird. Or, it was because they knew they were gonna swim and drown trying to reach the Goddess. Eh, whatever.

"Honestly...I don't know if I have thrown a water balloon before???"

"...It's fine, let's team up. It's not like I know better people."

"Okay, sure. Then...what's your name?"

"...Cadence."

I'm not sure why but... that felt familiar?

"...Pleasure meeting you, Cadence. I'm McDona...Mika, I'm Mika."

"Mika?"

He looked confused. Is it that weird of a name? Maybe I should have just went with McDonald. He continued:

"N-nevermind...that doesn't make sense..."

He still looked a bit troubled.

"Anyways, Cadence, uhhhhhhh......, isn't everyone else wearing, like, swimwear?"

Actually, I guess Rose wasn't. Eh, she probably just forgot or something. Seem like that kind of person.

"Yeah, it's so people could attempt to swim over to the Goddess."

Oh, so it had nothing to do with the water balloons.

"Then...what about you? You are literally soaking wet."

He was wearing a black hoodie with the text "HappyLand Fun and Recreational Toys Committee"...of course. It was dripping wet...wait, it wasn't?

"Yeah, these hoodies are water proof! They are actually meant to be used in water balloon fights! Very convenient. A lot of other people here are wearing this, you know?"

"Wow, cool! But what about the rest of your body?"

Okay, the rest of his body was dripping wet. Makes sense. I don't think a hoodie will prevent you from getting wet while swimming.

"...not important. I'm just here to support my idol."

"Damn, okay. Wait, I just remembered. At one point you were all in a blob, and she was at the center...but then she was on the water? How does that even work?"

"Oh yeah...the blob that was formed...there was actually no one in the middle. I guess someone just spread misinformation that she was there...and no one was there to correct the info. "

Damn, that is crazy. Mob mentality sure is something. Hell, I was part of the mob.

"What's so cool about this Goddess in the first place? I don't get it."

"Her face."

"And?"

"Personality."

"What personality? She literally showed no emotion during that speech."

"Come on? You don't think apathy is attractive? I love women who don't care about me."

"...then shouldn't you like every woman?"

Damn. Sick burn, me. I gave myself a pat on the back.

"...you just don't understand. We are not the same."

"Clearly not. I don't know why you think you are better than me in that regard, though."

"There is no merit in a wise man talking to a fool."

"Shut up."

At this point, it looked like most of the teams were created. We began to walk around in search for more members.

"Oh my god. How have all these teams already been formed? I didn't know people could be this social?"

"Mhm, yeah. And I think we might have more luck getting people in our team if you weren't wearing rags."

He was probably right. I really need to get some new clothes.

"OKAY GUYS. IT LOOKS LIKE PRETTY MUCH EVERYONE HAS GROUPED UP."

What? No! We haven't???

"ANYWAYS. PLOT TWIST! THESE ARE NOT YOUR TEAMMATES, BUT YOUR ENEMIES. OF THE FIVE IN YOUR TEAM, ONLY TWO WILL SURVIVE."

Let's gooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!

"ALRIGHT. I JUST REALIZED THAT FIVE IS NOT EVENLY DIVISIBLE BY TWO. UMMM.....SHORTEST PERSON IN EACH GROUP IS OUT."

What the fuck? That is so not fair. Why do we short people get all the hate around here? Even if I'm not hurt by this.

Thousands of short people started to leave. It was a sad, sad sight. I couldn't tell if people's faces were wet because they were swimming or they were crying.

"YEAH SORRY SHORT PEOPLE. NEXT TIME I WILL DISCRIMINATE AGAINST TALL PEOPLE."

Okay. I felt a lot better after hearing that. But Cadence didn't seem very happy. Whatever. Can't please everyone. Except people with average height.

After a few minutes, she continued.

"YEAH I HOPE YOU GUYS LEFT. IF YOU DIDN'T AND YOU BROKE THE RULES...UHH...AT THIS POINT, WHATEVER. JUST MAKE SURE EACH TEAM HAS FOUR PEOPLE."

Wow. This is really not professional at all.

"OKAY GUYS. SPLIT INTO TWO TEAMS OF TWO NOW!"

I looked and Cadence.

"Guess we are a team?"

"...why though? Against who?"

"Very good point."

People started to split into teams of two. It was very noisy and dramatic. I'm pretty sure a few love triangles got resolved in this moment.

"OKAY GUYS, THANKS FOR SPLITTING UP. NOW. PLOT TWIST! AGAIN! YOU ARE GONNA FIGHT AGAINST THE PERSON YOU TEAMED UP WITH."

...what was even the point of getting in to groups of five if this is what we are doing?

"YEAH OKAY. EACH PERSON HERE GETS FIVE WATER BALLOONS. THE ONLY GOAL IS TO MAKE THE OTHER PERSON MORE WET THAN YOU ARE. I WILL JUDGE THIS. YOU HAVE TEN MINUTES. GO!"

...wow okay. Guess everyone who jumped in the water is screwed. Cadence began talking:

"UHH...do we fight each other?"

"I mean, sure? I probably already win though."

"..."

The Goddess came to us, and each handed us our water balloons.

"Oh, uh, thanks-"

"You thought I didn't realize you guys hadn't formed a group of five?"

What! How? There are like 10,000 people here, man.

"Yeah, anyways. If you guys just fight each other...that's a bit boring."

She then proceeded to...create two large water balloons which had humanoid forms to some extent.

"You are each going to have to fight one of these, as a sort of stand-in for your would-have-been partner. Your goal...is just to pop them, I guess. Have fun!"

She then left, to distribute more water balloons I suppose.

"Hey Cadence. You ready for this?"

"............."

"Um, Cade-"

"$TJ#H@$$G@#G*#FI!HEIOV!NBFOU!BE(F#PG$PIGJ$IHN@PK#GN!P"

I backed off, in shock, and horror, maybe.

"I HAVE NOW ACHIEVED ALL OF MY LIFE'S GOALS. TIME TO DIE."

"WHAT???? NOOOOOOOOOO DON'T DIE!!!!!"

"TIME TO MEET MY SECOND FAVORITE GOD"

"WHAT THE FUCK? WE ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS EXAMINATION? YOU CAN'T JUST DIE?"

"It's been nice knowing you, Mika. We didn't really know each other that well in the end...actually maybe we did, but whatever."

He sprinted towards the water balloon humanoid thing.

"PLEASE KILL ME."

What? There is no way that water balloon thing is gonna kill you? Just jump in the water aga- HOLY SHIT???

The water balloon grabbed Cadence's neck and starting choking him, one handed. Wow, pretty impressive for a water balloon. Cadence didn't seem to fight it. Was I about to witness this man die? Well, it's not like it's my problem. He will face the consequences of his own decisions...yeah. I need to worry about my own problems right now. Which is poking this other water balloon. To death.

First, I need a sharp object...hmm. Wait, I have long fingernails! This will work. Hopefully. I ran at the water balloons, ready to claw its head.

"DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE", I shouted passionately.

I swung my right hand at the water balloon's head, but it just bounced off. What the F? Are my fingernails not sharp enough. Is my right hand too weak? I swung with my left. It also bounced off. Damn. What a tough fight. I would have to rely on a better weapon, maybe. But before I could think of my next plan, it came towards me, menacingly. It started twisting its arms around its body. More than any human could...I think. Well, it was a balloon after all. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, nine, eleven, fourteen, eighteen, fuck I can't keep track of all the rotations! It's too fast! And it was coming towards me. Was it planning on unleashing all that twisting power on me? Oh no, I am fucked. I am absolutely fucked. There is no way out of this. I can already see the blood and...innards. From my body! Ugh. Why did I try this in the first place? No one told me there was going to be combat! I thought it was just a fun event, but no. Everyone else gets to have fun playing water balloons, while I get killed? That is so not fair.

It came closer to me. I started running, but it was faster. I stopped running, preparing to face my distorted fate. What do I have to protect myself? Hmm? A cigar lighter? Oh right, a sketchy man gave it to me last night, telling me it could help me? No way. Hmm...of course! I have yet to use these water balloons she gave me. Fight fire with fire, right? Yeah. So with these water balloons...what am I gonna do? How am I supposed to use a largely spherical water balloon to poke something? Uhhhhhhh fuck it! I have no other choice. I threw my first balloon. It missed. I threw my second. It also missed. I threw my third and fourth concurrently. One of them collided with its leg, but it merely bounced off. I threw my final balloon. It hit its rapidly spinning arm and....launched it away. I could hear the balloon popping far away, and subsequently, screams. I suppose it hit someone. Oops, collateral damage.

At this point, I knew I was done. Looks like Cadence and I would reunite...in a better place. I closed my eyes, ready for the impact. I could hear the spinning of the arms as it got louder and louder...and then it stopped, preparing to release the who-knows-how-many rotations it had built up.

And then it released. Is this where my story ends?