Hello Sun! Is what I did not say after waking up when it was actually morning. I took out my phone to check the time. Except, I didn't have a phone. There was someone sitting on a bench near the grass I was at, though. Menacingly, I walked up to the front of the bench.

"Hello? Sorry to bother you, but may you kindly present with me the information regarding the chronological state of our lovely being?"

"...you know, big words don't make you sound smarter"

"Neither does pointing that out."

The girl used body language to tell me to fuck off.

"Oh come on. Just tell me the time! You are literally holding a phone."

"...9:40"

Shit. Did I really sleep that long. Maybe because I woke up in the middle of the night. Wait, what did I do again?

"Oh, um, thank you. I didn't expect you to actually tell me the time."

"I'm not that much of an asshole."

"Wait. Did you purposefully tell me the wrong time?"

"...no? Why would I do that?"

"Give me your phone."

I reached out to take the phone. Wow, it was a nice looking phone. A rich copper colored case that would remind the user that they were forever 3rd place in life. She whipped the phone away.

"Are you kidding me? I don't know you. I'm not giving you my phone."

"Well how am I supposed to know what time it is?"

"I literally told you the time. Why are you so suspi-"

I interrupted her by reaching with my right hand. She whipped the phone away towards the left, and I used my dominant left hand to easily snatch it away. Success!

"You fucki-"

"Aha! I knew it. Look at this!"

I pointed the phone towards her. "9:41".

"You lied to me! It's not 9:40! I knew it. Can't trust random people on the street huh? Stranger Danger!"

While I was flaunting my success, she snatched the phone away from me.

"Are...you kidding me? Do I need to help you assimilate into human society?"

"Actually that would be quite helpful."

She sighed. "I struggle to believe that your a criminal attempting to openly commit robberies. Do...you have any knowledge of...y'know...social boundaries?"

"Yes."

"Then...you know what to do right now, right?"

"Mhm."

I then proceeded to fuck off.

Well, it was a success! I now know what time it is! We have a good... 1 hour and 19 minutes until I have to get to the location. Guess I should...hit up McDonald's again!

I took a leisurely walk towards the golden arches in order to feast upon the fruits of the labor of the millions of years of human evolution that has allowed us to climb thus far in the food chain. Us, as humans, did not have the digestive capabilities to effectively absorb the nutrients from consuming grass. As a result, we have evolved, and instead of directly eating grass, we are able to eat grass via proxy, by eating the grass eaters at locations such as McDonald's.

The doors swing open. A cashier awaited me; luckily, not the one from last night. Perhaps the day-shift employees will be a bit nicer towards my attire. Thinking back, why was the cashier last time so rude? Well, they must have had a bad day. I'll give them the benefit of the doubt.

Hold on. That girl who I just pissed off; was she the cashier? Maybe? Probably? I think I'm right, actually. I didn't pay that much attention to the voice or appearance of the cashier but...considering that this McDonald's is so isolated, the fact that I even run into someone near here means they likely came for the McDonald's. Given that it was so earlier, I can't imagine any customers would be coming. However, it would make sense that a worker who had a shift late into the night and early into the morning would be at the McDonald's, given the 24 hour policy. Thus, it is quite likely that she is at least a worker at the McDonald's. There is then a pretty good chance that she is that same worker as from before. However, I would like to limit my assumptions, so I will check with the current cashier.

"Hi, hi, hi. Can you give me a full list of all your employees along with their full legal name, date of birth, picture, social security number, and mother's maiden name?"

The cashier looked like he was about to ignore me, but was kind enough to respond:

"...why?"

"I'm looking for a specific cashier that works here...a girl who serves burgers and is rude as a hobby"

"...do you know this person?"

"...yes?"

He looked very doubtful, but continued:

"Do you know what shifts they work here?"

"Uhh...late at night I think. Yesterday."

I realized I didn't actually know the time yesterday.

"Hmm. We only had a few people working last night...which would normally make it easy to identify someone, but your description honestly does not help with this search. And hold on. Why am I helping you here? Why are you trying to find this person?"

I didn't have a good response.

"It's important, I promise."

"Well it's not important to me. Honestly, it's quite concerning that your trying to get close to one of our workers that you have seemingly no connection to. I'd like to ask you to get out of this store. Our employees are not here for you to try to get close to, we are just here to serve you food."

Wow. Did I flip his switch?

"Sir, but I-"

"Get out. Now. Or else, I'll dial the police."

He probably wasn't actually going to. I still left the store though. Hm...what went wrong? Well, it was probably time to leave anyway. Time to leave to the...location? What does this place even look like? Hmm, guess I'll find out.

I backtracked my steps. The potential McDonald's cashier was still on the bench. Perfect! My suspicions will be confirmed. I casually sat down on the bench.

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"Hi again!", I said in an attempt to be friendly.

"...What."

"Are you by any chance a worker at that McDonald's?"

I pointed at the general direction of the McDonald's even though it was out of sight.

"...Yeah? Why are you asking though? Hold on, why am I answering your questions? I do not want to talk to you."

I ignored everything except the first word.

"Do you remember me?"

"Yeah, you were the asshole who took my fucking pho-"

"No, I mean at the McDonald's"

"...no?"

Oh. So it wasn't her. Huh, I was wrong.

"Wait, no. There was some rando in rags and dripping wet...that was you?"

Ehe. I was right.

"Yes, yes. How could you not instantly recognize me. I was literally in rags. Who else is out here wearing rags?"

"I dunno. There was some guy with you in a pink suit. Kinda took the attention off you."

"Understandable."

"Anyways, why do you even care?"

"Hmm. I just thought that I could get some McDonald's discounts if I got close to you. Like mate rates, or whatever."

"...you literally do not know me. Also, I just quit from that joint."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO", I said in my head.

"Oh my god. Chill, dude."

Shit. I said it out loud.

"Why did you quit???"

"It's not a great paying job, you know. I was just doing it to save up a bit of cash. I'm still a high schooler, you know."

"No, actually I do not know. You are a stranger to me."

"......"

"a-anyways, you're a high schooler? Wow, that's pretty cool."

"............"

"Are you by any chance applying to become a God today?"

"......................."

"Just fucking answer me?"

"................-"

"Can you stop being a fuc-"

"Yeah, I am."

"Why did you ignore me."

"Just felt like it."

I felt like getting angry, but I didn't because I am mature.

"Hey, hey, don't cry. Didn't mean to hurt your feelings."

Somehow that made me start crying.

"Oh god. This guy is so ready to annoy and offend others, yet he can't even take the slightest hit himself. God."

Hey, I can take hits! Well not right now, apparently. The tears continued to accumulate.

She sighed.

"Oh, I'm gonna be late..."

She pulled out a box of McDonald's napkins and a cute stuffed animal of a brown wild boar out of her backpack. She placed the stuffed boar in my lap, took my arms, and placed my arms around it. I hugged the boar tightly. It was very fluffy. I hugged it tighter. She took out some napkin and began wiping my tears. Wait, why am I being treated like I'm a toddler? I attempted to whip my head away, but was unsuccessful. She firmly grasped my head and leaned it on her shoulder.

"W-Why are y-what th-hu-*%@*^@%^*#%*("

Wow. I am truly linguistic genius. She whispered in response:

"Just let it all out...it'll all be okay..."

What caused this girl to go through such a flip? Well I wasn't about to do anything about it. Strangely, I felt comforted.

A man walked by us. Wait, why are there people actually walking here? Oh, it's the cashier from earlier. He looked at us. I turned red. He opened his mouth:

"Oh, hi Rose! Don't you have that whole God thing soon? Why are you still here?"

Huh. So her name is Rose.

"Yeah, I should probably head off soon. He started crying out of nowhere, so, I couldn't just leave, you know?"

Wait. Didn't you make me cry? Don't act all innocent! Or wait, did she even make me cry? Hm.

"Oh, that's the boy who came to McDonald's a bit ago. He was looking for someone...wait, maybe it was you?

Oh no.

"You...were looking for me at the McDonald's? Why? You were searching that hard?"

I abstained.

"Huh. Maybe I was a bit harsh on him, then. Seems like you guys are pretty close after all. Well, seeya. Good luck on becoming a God!"

Wow. What a nice guy. I'll probably never meet him ever again though.

"Hey...are you feeling better now? I actually gotta go. You know, these people really value-"

"Punctuality, yeah, I know. L-Let's go."

"...you're going too?"

"Is it that surprising?"

"I mean, I just, well, look at yourself?"

"I think that's physically impossible."

"Yeah, you're right. Hm. Well...don't you wanna, like, wash your face before showing up there. Might leave a bad first impression?"

"No, no. Don't judge books by their covers, but by their contents."

"...okay? Telling that to me won't do anything though."

I got up.

"Alright, time to become a God!", I said with red, hazy eyes, while holding a stuffed animal and wearing rags.

"You are making it really hard for me to not judge you by your cover."

We head off for the...whatever the location's name is. During the 30 minute walk, I went off about the deliciousness of my McDonald's meal the day before.

"Man, those fries were heavenly. I swear, these McDonald's workers are actually turning water into wine!"

"Wow, thanks for the compliment."

"And the burger? God bless. If love, happiness, and all good things in this world were combined and materialized into an edible substance, it was that burger last night. Damn."

She smiled. Wow, she was actually kind of a good listener. Wait, isn't she a pretty good person? Why was she so rude at the McDonald's last night? Eh, I won't bring that up.

We eventually made it to...holy fuck. What is that?

As we approached the mysterious location, my eyes widened in awe. It was not just any building; it was a grand, magnificent structure that stood tall and proud. And to my delight, there, right in front of it, was the McDonald's logo! A gleaming golden arch adorned the entrance, beckoning me like a beacon of hope. Boasting around 30 floors, the red and gold struct-

"Hello? Are you there?"

Huh?

"Are you really falling asleep right before? I had to push you all the way here!"

Wait...the 30 floor McDonald's...was a dream???

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"CHILL, DUDE CHILL OUT OMG"

"EXISTENCE. IS PAIN!!!!!"

"NO IT'S NOT, WHAT THE FUCK"

"I ONLY LIVE TO SUFFER IN THIS CRUEL WORLD THAT REJECTS MCDONALD'S LOVERS SUCH AS MYSELF"

"????????????????????"(audible)

"WORLD. RELEASE ME FROM THIS UNENDING PAIN KNOWN AS LIFE. RELINQUISH ME FROM TH-"

"SHUT. THE FUCK. UP!!!!!!!!! WE ARE GONNA BE LATE. STOP THROWING A FUCKING TANTRUM. I'M NOT GONNA WIPE YOUR TEARS AGAIN."

I shut the fuck up.

"A...Anyways...we've made it. Welcome to Rose Tower!"

I looked up. A massive, massive structure that could only be labeled as an architectural anomaly. It was covered in pink glass and was shaped like an extremely large...rose? That lines up with the name, yeah. Hold up.

"Uh...you made this?"

"What?"

"I mean, it's named after you. You know, your name is Rose. I think."

"Dude, it's called Rose Tower because it looks like a rose. Not because of me."

"Damn, thought you were a big shot for a second."

"Anyways, this is where the preliminaries will take place."

I looked around. The Rose Tower looked to be stemmed at the center of... a standalone island? Looked manmade. Or maybe godmade. A...sort of moat surrounded it. There were flowers...possible real, covering the whole island. I'm not gonna lie, it was really pretty.

"Um, okay. How are we getting across?"

"...we don't. It's the prelims. Only the people who pass this phase actually get to go there"

"Damn. I knew it. Indeed, this says much about our society. Only those in power are able to live luxurious lives, while us peasants must feast upon the grass that grows beneath our feet. Except we can't, because of our digestive system or whatever I said earlier."

OH shit. I made a realization.

"Hold up. You were a McDonald's cashier. Don't you guys get, like, discounts already. For being employees? Why are you even trying to become a God then?"

"UHHHHH...there are other perks, you know?"

Oh right. You would obtain the God title. Uh, what else? Oh right, social media clout. Maybe she wants the clout. That makes sense. Maybe.

"Yeah, you are right. I think the McDonald's discounts are the best perk though. But whatever. One man's gold is another man's dirt."

"Isn't it the other way around?"

"...whatever. ANYWAYS. Where are we going then?"

She pointed at a massive pavilion. Thousands of kids were there, probably, I'm not great at estimating.

"God, that looks so chaotic. This is our competition? We are definitely winning, huh."

I smirked after saying that. Those kids looked like no competition. Kids these days. Lacking integrity! Lacking any sense of self-respect! Lacking the godlike qualities that this new generation so desperately needs! I swear, Lord of the Flies 2 is about to begin right here.

"Surprisingly, you are actually right. Look at the center of that...blob."

I looked. By god's grace and ever-present humility, I have never seen such a beautiful melding of flesh pieces in my life. It was a tall...woman? I can't tell. But they were beautiful. Their skin was pure white like snow. Medusa's eyes pale in comparison to the impact that this figure's eyes had on me. Their perfectly symmetric, spherical nose whose, upon measurement, could be used to accurately compute pi to millions of digits. A red hue so striking that it could cure the red-green colorblind. A perfectly shaped afro untainted by the mortal rea-

"See? That woman over there. She's a very well known celebrity. I think a good 95% of the applicants signed up just to meet her in person."

As expected, this magnificent form can only be possessed by a celebrity of such calibe-

"Hey, stop staring at Ronald McDonald! What's even wrong with you?"

She sighed.

"Something is definitely wrong with you. Whatever, Let's head over there. She's the one leading this part of the process, after all."

I was dragged towards this blob without my consent. I can't even see this supposed celebrity woman in the middle. What's with these people?

"Oh, and by the way, we are probably gonna get separated once this whole thing starts. You know, bunch of people."

"Um. Okay."

"So, uh, I still haven't asked for your name...so..."

"Why should I tell you my name? Stranger Danger!"

"...you literally stalked me"

"My name is..."

I looked for something to use as a percussive instrument to do a drum roll, but failed, and awkwardly continued.

"MCDONALD!!!"

"...no it's not, what the fuck?"

"IT IS!"

"...I'll just call you...Mika. Like a nickname. I am not about to call you McDonald."

What does everyone have against McDonald? Wait hold up, how did she come up with the exact same name that the pink su-

"Anyways, bye. Good luck!"

"Hold on, what does the preliminaries even consist of?"

She was gone. Hmph! I can do this myself, it is fine.

.........

No, this is not fine.