Application...to become a god? What does that even mean? Why is this man coming to a random lost child for this? These are all great questions to ask, but I decided against asking them and instead chose to make a rude remark.

"Huh? What do you mean "cult leader"? This is common stuff nowad- oh right I forgot, you lost all your memories. Allow me to enlighten you"

I waited to be enlightened by this strange man who claims to not be a cult leader.

"We live in a perilous time, you know. 20XX. Horrible year, absolutely filthy. That's why the higher ups decided we need a new generation of the best and the brightest to lead the world to a better place! Yeah, that's totally why we are doing this"

"Okay? So they created a new religion?"

"Ehh.... honestly this stuff is pretty confusing to me as well. It's not really a religion though, no. "God" is more of just a really cool and epic word for someone who has reached a point in their physical, mental, emotional capabilities to where they are better described as a God than a human"

Wow that's really dumb, I didn't say.

"Wow so cool! Who came up with this though? I feel like this is just strengthening social inequity. Sir. Why...exactly are we doing this?"

"Uhh...I'm not the one who decided all this. Hate the game, not the players. That stuff is not important. All you need to know is that becoming a God is super cool!"

"Okay, I mean I guess it probably has some nice perks"

"Yeah, you are totally right. First, you are to be addressed as God (insert name) at all times. Similar to how you would say Dr. for a smart person, I forgot how people get to be called Dr."

"Wow that is pretty cool", I said because it sounded pretty cool. Hmm. "God Katniss". Sounds lame actually, why did I choose this name?

"Uh also, you can get a few select discounts at some applicable restaurants"

Okay? I can't imagine that a "God" would need the discounts. Except maybe me, in the optimistic future.

"And...it garners you a bit of social media fame. Most Gods with a TikTok account seem to have at least 100 followers."

"Is that a lot?"

"Dunno, don't use the app. Sounds decent though. I mean, 100? I hardly know 1 person who respects me"

"That is true. Hmm, this whole God thing doesn't seem too bad after all"

"Yeah, yeah. So you're good with applying right?"

"Mhm. But with such rich rewards, its difficult to believe that one can easily become a God"

"Yeah, your right. This application form basically means jack shit in the end, its basically just signing up for the preliminaries."

"Preliminaries?"

"Yeah, this thing is a whole process. I think...around 1 million high schoolers apply every year? On a good year, around 1 percent will pass."

"Oh shit. And that's just the preliminaries? How many people make it through to the end and become Gods?"

"Uhh... honestly I don't know. I mean I'm not even the one applying, I don't really care about all this"

"Wait, that's brings up a good question. Why are you even applying me for this? What do you gain?"

"Its...my job, yeah. Not a great job, but a job nonetheless"

"You're...getting paid to manipulate and take advantage of random kids on the street?"

"Wow, way to make me sound like a criminal"

"I mean you could be, kinda act like one"

"...anyways, basically, even with around a million kids applying each year, the vast, vast majority of them are complete garbage"

"Sure, I believe it"

"Yeah. That's why scouts like me exist, to find actually competent kids for this whole thing"

"Aren't there already like a million kids applying? I feel like the competent kids would already be applying?"

"You'd be surprised. Anyways yeah, that's my job. I get paid if the kids I scout get far."

"So...how many of the kids you have scouted have even made it past the prelims?"

"Uhh...two I think"

"Damn, your kind of a shit scout, huh?"

This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it

"Come on, don't be like that. It's hard, you know. Most of these kids these days can't do shit. Hardly qualified to become Gods"

"Fair, fair. Well alright, I'm starting to understand this whole thing a bit better...not really. What the fuck am I doing? But whatever. Got nothing else to do, I guess"

"Yeah, alright. Its getting dark out, we should probably wrap this up. So I'll tell you a bit more info and I'll be on my wa-"

"Hold up. I'm literally a homeless orphan right now. You really just gonna leave me here?"

"..."

"At least get me dinner"

"...fine. You better make me some money, then"

"Sure, sure", I said, confident in my ability to lose.

We then took a loooong walk on the beach...not very romantic though. I stared up at the stars. They stared me back. Hmm, wonder if I can go up there if I become a god? Eh, probably not.

Eventually we took a turn inland... and woah! We were met with the golden arches! Truly a marvel of human ingenuity! Probably.

"Alright! Here we are. You ever heard of McDonald's, kid?"

"Politely...do I even have to answer that sir?"

"Yeah you're right, sorry-wait hold on. You act like you forgot aaaallll this shit, but you definitely know some stuff? What's going on with that?"

"Not gonna lie, I don't know either. Yeah you're right, why do I know a bunch of stuff? Shouldn't I be like, illiterate and stuff?"

"Great question, but why are you asking me. I'm literally the one asking you"

"Yeah you're right. Let's just eat though"

We went inside the building. And what awaited us was a fine dining experience, truly. We pulled up to a cashier. The cashier smiled, and spoke to us.

"Hello fine sirs. What would you like to eat on the fine eve-what the fuck are you wearing?"

I looked at our clothes. My clothes were torn and wet, and sea water was dripping onto the clean McDonald's tiles. I looked at the man who...I haven't asked the name of yet? Anyways, he was wearing a bright pink suit. Wow, that is actually kinda weird. Why didn't I think that until now?

As I was pondering, my kind pink suited guardian/scout came up with a clever retort in my stead:

"Kindly, ma'am, what the hell are you even wearing? You're literally out here with a red and yellow striped shirt, looking like a fucking McDonald emplo-oh wait, you are one"

The cashier looked unimpressed, and sighed.

"Uh, anyways. Your order?"

I looked up at the menu, but before I could make a decision, I was rudely...not interrupted, but kind of.

"Ma'am, five Happy Meals, please"

"...fatasses"

"Miss, please understand. We are just doing our part as citizens of this country, contributing to the economy and helping the world go round. How dare you insult us like this. The boy hasn't eaten in...I don't know, but he is hungry. And so am I. Just do your job and let us eat in peace"

Wow. He actually kind of stood up for me...maybe more for himself though.

The cashier pressed some buttons on a machine on the counter, and walked off. We were gonna get our food, right?

"Kid, you are gonna meet a lot of assholes like this in the future, who just want to make you feel bad. Better get used to them now."

"Eh, I'm fine, I mean this is the second one by now."

"You...aren't talking about me, right?"

"Huh, who knows?"

Some minutes passed. We somehow got our food, and sat down at a table, far away from the counter.

"Alright kid. This is probably gonna be the greatest dining experience of your life, so savor it well."

I got prepared to savor.

The presentation was immaculate. I felt like an Aztec king as I opened the large red box. Its surface was plastered onto with a golden smile, and I smiled back, thanking the box for its efforts in carrying my meal. I ripped open the box, unable to contain my gluttony. I was about to bite into the burger, until I realized there was a wrapper. Hmm, bit of a sham. They are giving the illusion of a burger larger in volume and surface area, when in reality it is just inedible paper. Or maybe its edible? Possibly. Hmm, actually it could be. I mean, its from a restaurant! Restaurants make edible things! I took a bite out of the burger. A nice combination of bun, patty, pickles, McDonalds colored sauce, and... yellow wrapper. Okay, I guess it wasn't edible. Or at least it didn't taste amazing. Well, its okay. I guess McDonalds can't hit every time. I sadly took off the wrapper and proceeded to devour the burger in an integer number of bites.

"Damn, this is such a great burger"

Oh, he was eating too. I saw him take a larger bite into a... second burger by now? Oh wow, he's going to town on that burger...wait, he's eating the wrapper? Huh? Oh, he's spitting it out. Wow, he has truly optimized the burger eating experience. I guess I have much to learn.

"Kid, you know...*bites*...if you become a God, you can get discounts at some select McDonalds"

"Ah, I see why 1 million kids apply each year now..."

"Mhm, yeah. Oh right, we should continue our conversation regarding that. Yeah. So, I'm gonna turn in this form for you, later. And...the process is gonna been...uhh...oh wait, right, tomorrow, yeah."

"Tomorrow? Can I even apply still?"

"Yeah, it's actually pretty lenient. Plus, I'm a scout, so it'll be fine...probably."

I didn't really believe that it was fine, but whatever.

"Okay but around...11am, tomorrow, show up..."

He gives me a crumpled map, with a lot of pencil work on it.

"Okay, so its about a 30 minute walk from this McDonalds, uh, yeah you can get there. You seem like you can. Yeah."

"What if I get lost and don't make it on time?"

"Uh, you drop out. These people value punctuality."

"Shit"

Though, a part of me resonated with that...?

"Okay, just make it there. They'll tell you the rest of the things, I'm honestly not trying to do that right now. Just get some sleep and be ready tomorrow."

"Wait, sir...where do I sleep?"

"Uh...these McDonald's workers look like they might let you sleep here?"

"Not happening. That employee hates us."

"Well kid, you are NOT sleeping with me. There is no room. Just, sleep under the stars or something. Maybe it will rekindle some memories...actually probably not. You don't act like you were homeless."

"Yeah, fine, whatever. It's just one day."

"Alright."

At this point we had basically finished our meals. He hastily collected the 5 toys from the Happy Meals...I don't know why he needs them.

"Last...last thing. Honestly, it hadn't hit me until now, but Katniss Everdeen...that can't be your name."

Shit.

"Yeah, that's like from a book or something. I don't read, you know, like Fahrenheit 451"

Ok?

"Ok, but just pick a new name. Maybe something less goofy."

Hmm...inspiration...

I looked around for inspiration. We were in a McDonald's, obviously. The king of foods. Great idea!

"McDonald"

"You...wanna be named McDonald?"

"Yeah. It's my favorite part of life, so far. No better choice."

"That...no. No way in hell. You're not a farmer, kid."

"Please?"

"...okay, fine. You can keep the name...but find like a short nickname people can call you. I do not want to have scouted a kid named "McDonald""

"Okay sure. My nickname can be...Donald"

He didn't listen to me.

"McDonald...Mc-D's...Mc...how about Mika?"

"Uh, sure, I guess."

"That sounds less bad. Ok, Mika. we are set for today. Have a nice rest. I'll meet up with you again at the planned location tomorrow."

He took off.

Huh, Mika. Why...does that sounds familiar. "McDonald" is a really cool name but..."Mika" just seems to fit. Huh.

Shit, I forgot to ask his name.