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How Not To Screw A Slytherin
9 | ﴾ Chemical Tizzy ﴿

9 | ﴾ Chemical Tizzy ﴿

Monday came in a rush, and so did the arrival of three other schools.

Absolute pandemonium swamped every inch of the school as the population increased by four fold. Strange faces and intriguing accents inundated the atmosphere with pure electricity for the entire morning and afternoon, and by the time dinner had arrived that first evening no one could concentrate on anything but the unveiling of the brand new, Quadrivial Tournament.

There had been no announcement until breakfast with regard to the inclusion of a fourth school for the first time in history. Needless to say, when the Beauxbatons and the Durmstrang attendants were proceeded by the Irish students of Erehnoll School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, it was both startling and thrilling.

While munching on assortments of hearty breakfast spreads, the resident students - including the recently arrived Beauxbatons and Durmstrang individuals - had been rocked in place on their benches as the castle grumbled with a guttural snarl.

Outside the sky was brightening and exploding into a chaotic, prismatic glow.

The clouds had come alive with dancing pastels as if being sprayed with Herculean paint cans, garnishing a school-wide race to the three-story tall stained glass windows lining the Great Hall, only to witness a gigantic rainbow arc slam down from the heavens.

It blasted hard into the Earth somewhere between the Whomping Willow and the Forbidden Forest, and when the ricocheting rock debris and dust had settled it revealed a gigantic gold and wooden treasure chest. Windows and doorways lined the glittery superstructure, disclosing that it was in fact a hybridized hotel of sorts. Beautiful shamrocks sparkled from the iconic exterior, taking off in the wind like bubbles.

It turned out that the prize at the end of the rainbow was actually a means of magical transportation and accommodation.

"Ruddy hell," Ron proclaimed louder than anyone else, actively stepping onto a small Ravenclaw's robes before him and practically strangling her in the process, "The Irish are sodding stylish, have to give them that."

When the clan of Irish students burst through the double doors in lime-green and white robes and began tossing golden coins into the air, the entire room had fallen into shock and awe, save for Seamus Finnigan of course who'd stood up like a menace and shouted excitedly before slipping on the bench and painfully toppling to the floor. Some of the Erehnoll boys had poles with glowing turnip heads, and others were playing melodies on small harps, drawing the attention of every witch and wizard in the building.

As a result there were no scheduled classes that day, and the hours had unraveled into a free flow of meetings and greetings and young people running amuck with giddy glee to peer at all of the visiting vehicles parked around the exterior of the castle.

In nervous anticipation of the intoxicating social calamity Audette had spent the weekend before in futility - trying to cram in work, knowing that she was terrifyingly far behind on her private lessons with McGonagall who tended to hunt her down in the hallways with a threatening glare for an update.

Yet try as she might to focus in the Slytherin commons - naturally avoiding the library, a space in which Theodore never seemed to leave - small fragments of the dreary afternoons were wondrously thrown askew by Malfoy, who would appear out of no where and passively prompt her to cuddle with him on the large sofas.

Audette found herself caving to the public displays of affection with the hopes that it would procure jealousy in Theodore, who still didn't want her back even after all of his defensive outbursts.

Also...it felt good.

Draco had this sophisticated style to each subtle movement of his fingers, handling her like a doll in his arms and leaving her feeling breathless and puzzled. Audette tried to act standoffish on the surface, but deep down she was beginning to fall prey to butterflies in her rib cage and sheepish thoughts that he felt it too.

Almost silently and dreamily they leaned on one another with hardly any words and shy smiles. It was addictive, and adorable, until he would inevitably spoil their sleepy naps with some sort of rude remark and disappear the moment any of his friends arrived.

People began fiercely whispering of their not-so-secret dalliance, and not always in her favor, but there was nothing really left to lose.

Unfortunately, Nott seldom did catch any sight of it as he adroitly kept himself busy at all times.

Another sharp singe to the nerves on her left thigh caused Audette to abruptly catch her breath mid sentence.

"Stop it, what are you hoping to achieve from that? It's been fifteen minutes and my leg is going numb. Can you not keep yourself more appropriately entertained?" Audette turned in irritation to Draco who kept strategically pinching her at the monolithic dining table during the rowdy dinner, comprising of nearly one thousand people in the Great Hall.

Each Hogwarts House had been crammed down tightly by the three sets of invaders to the castle; in Slytherin row it was the hostile Durmstrang men at the front of the room.

In that specific region the volume was loud, the words were vulgar and crude, and the scent of prohibited liquors was shriveling young people's noses in the vicinity. For some reason a massive snow leopard had been invited to lay in the center of the table, actively stealing meat straight out of people's hands with lethal claws and horrifying yowling.

Draco shrugged and snickered wordlessly, turning back to his plate next to her in his fancy black suit. He ran his free hand along her upper thigh brazenly and she grit her teeth to avoid reacting further to the immature flirting, bracing her bruising thigh for the next pinch which would arrive in mere minutes no doubt.

Audette reached down to steady his hand under hers when his fingers drifted a little too far between her pink umbrella skirt. She raised her eyebrows at him warningly, "Draco."

He professionally dodged around the failed attempt by interlacing his cold fingers with hers, smiling down at her as if he were innocent, "How else was I going to get you to hold my hand?"

"Oh please, you think yourself so slick," Audette growled softly, swiveling back to Daphne Greengrass who had waited patiently multiple times throughout the distractions.

She left their hands intertwined below the table with the expectation that it would at least pacify the pinch attacks.

"Like I was saying," Daphne went on, raising her polished almond-tipped fingernail to point at least thirty seats down the table at a cluster of rather large Russian men, "That one in the middle. He's mad fit. I bet he could lift a girl with one arm."

Leaning forward with very little discretion Audette grimaced at the bald man that could've passed for thirty instead of twenty.

"Really? Are you quite sure he doesn't reek of wet dog? He's massive, and brutish," she shriveled her nose at his haggard clothing comprised entirely of mystery animal skins, watching with disapproval as he picked at his teeth with a fork.

"I'll tell him you said that, I know the bloke," Draco interrupted without invitation for the hundredth time, tutting air through his gorgeous smile as he pushed food around in circles in front of him.

Guy licked his fingers after having just consumed at least five chicken legs at the speed of light.

He spun his bright pink bun around to glare behind him at the Ravenclaw table across the room, "Daphne, I spy with my stinky little eye, Audette's type."

His rude finger pointing had landed on a particularly stunning Beauxbatons boy who was standing in elegant grace, his spine straight and his fingers aristocratically clutching at a metal chalice as if it were of utmost value. With combed sandy blond hair and honey pot golden eyes he was a vision of slender array in form fitting powder blue robes.

He could have passed for a Sindar Elf from Lord of the Rings.

Without thinking Audette pressed her lips together in a warm smile, "Now that is fit. He's very pretty, and noticeably dignified, good spot Guy. I bet he smells like roses, and can play piano, and loves to walk in the rain."

She watched dreamily as the boy gestured with his hand at the enchanted ceiling, speaking in courteous geniality to three Ravenclaws.

Beside her, Draco's eyebrows had almost fused together with unmasked jealousy, "Who, that nancy? I bet he also likes to put on lady's drawers when no one's looking. He probably couldn't tell one end of a broomstick from the other."

Guy burped, slapping the table like a madman, "Malfoy, the envy! You're practically unrecognizable. The whole point was that he wouldn't be caught dead on a broomstick. The whole bunch of you athletes don't realize not everyone fancies a savage prurient."

The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.

Draco gripped his silver fork so tightly that Audette feared Guy was likely to lose said stinky little eyeball.

Nevertheless he exhaled calmly with a snarky grin, "Don't make me laugh. Jealous, please. I could ride circles around that goon - whether or not he has the sense to learn such a practical wizarding skill."

Pansy and Daphne both glittered their eyes in Audette's direction; it was an exchange that any female would be able to decipher with just a look. An arrogant appraisal, well done.

Draco squeezed Audette's hand and released it, running his arm around Audette's shoulders then and turning to her with his piercing blue orbs, "I'm prettier than him anyways, aren't I Audette?"

She bounced her shoulders under the weight of his hold, sending Guy a shivering smile as she fought not to burst out laughing, "Hmm, I can't be certain from this distance. Probably not."

That was a dirty lie and she knew it, but there was no sense in stroking his ego so profoundly.

She glanced at him with illustrious smoldering eyes only inches away. At this, all of Draco's close friends hooted mockingly on his other side, and his grin vanished to be replaced by an injured frown.

Pansy licked at a spoon with a daring brown stare shot in Draco's direction, the side of her mouth curling up like a meddlesome vixen, "Cosmos is right, since when do you make a fuss? It's not as if you're her boyfriend, cool your jets Malfoy."

At least fifteen people met eyes up and down that section of the dining area, including Theodore who was watching with scalding hatred.

Draco just cocked his head to the side at Pansy and chewed on his tongue with an unfriendly jeer, "I don't have to be. We have a preliminary understanding."

"Oh do we, and what sort of understanding is that?" Audette dramatically shifted in her seat to face him directly, her heart starting to beat outside of her chest, "Do you suppose I come for free like a flower picked from a field? I'm afraid I require certain obligations for the privilege of an understanding, Mr. Malfoy."

For a split second they met eye to eye, blue to green, and Audette observed the lense of Draco's pupil expand bizarrely before contracting again. Draco had just been put mercilessly on the spot to provide a label, in front of the entire Slytherin body, none of whom were risking blinking to miss his reaction.

No time to answer was unfortunately provisional, as all of the bowls of cantilever fires around the perimeter of the room went out abruptly.

In dusty lavender robes Dumbledore had walked to the wooden podium at the front of the room which hosted a golden stone bird with sharp eyes and outstretched wings. His wrinkly hands were held high above his shoulders, commanding attention with his extraordinary magical abilities alone.

Audette turned her face away from Draco to watch, swallowing through the spasms of her nervous heart.

That's it, now I've done it. I've humiliated him too many times, she thought regretfully, wishing she'd said less in such a public setting.

Miraculously his arm never left her shoulder - perhaps out of pride - but now all she could smell was his luxury clothing, and feel the tickle of his breath on her neck and his eyes on her side profile. Ergo, her mind was not at all focused on what her eyes were seeing.

A short whine in her ears and then her attention snapped back.

Dumbledore had been going for a while in the background of her world. Guy was leaning into Pansy in the shadows across from her, "Can you believe they gave Hogwarts a second chance at hosting this bloody psychotic tournament after what happened at the last one? Fecking unreal."

After pausing dramatically for effect, Dumbledore's frail voice went on in the darkness, his bearded face barely illuminated by the melting pillar candles at his stand, "As such, it is my personal pleasure to welcome you all to the very first Quadrivial Tournament. Now. Due to the previous pedestal having been so integrally compromised, a new system for entry has been devised. One, I think you will all find, that inflicts great consequence at any temptation to defile the rectitude of enrollment."

He turned slowly in place, a feathery palm held out to something large and mysterious which was cloaked behind him in a watery diaz.

Carefully the silver cover fell away like a river of silk, and there, in the center of the water sat coiled a mythically lethal being; a Gorgon.

With the tail of a serpent and a full head of hair comprised of hissing snakes, shockingly her face was very attractive albeit framed with patches of green scales. Her eyes remained shut, capable of turning any living creature to stone upon command.

In her outstretched serpentine hands was a large purple cup with four golden gilded sides, glowing faintly upon her cheeks. A fire struck within the goblet, this time a splendid lavender tone.

Dumbledore cleared his throat, staring at the compendium of whispering students over his square spectacles, "Heed these instructions carefully; all applicants, must be, of the age of seventeen. Should you proceed to honestly submit your name into the goblet of fire this year, you are guaranteed entry - there is no limit, and there is no going back. As such, a decision to approach the pedestal would be best weighed mindfully in advance. And be warned, approaching with dishonesty, may result in a rather...statuesque ending."

At this Dumbledore's oceanic eyes glared at them all with his signature regard.

Holed up in a corner by the entrance, the wretched janitor - Argus Filch - bared a set of slimy black teeth upon the final sentence, inappropriately gleeful at the notion of a student's untimely demise. It was a wonder he'd not been fired decades ago.

The rest of dinner was wild. The shouting in the room reached a level so rambunctious that it was nearly impossible to speak with someone not two feet from oneself.

Draco quickly excused himself without a single word once the lighting was reinstated, and Audette watched him weave away through people, wondering if he was upset.

Pansy confirmed it for her, yelling over her water goblet, "He's pissed! You better go chase him before he has time to consider putting up a new wall!"

Audette hung her head back, pelting after Draco in mortification. It was dreadfully indignant.

She had to call his last name at least five times before he stopped at the double doors to the hall and peered around himself with his pointy nose in the air.

"Malfoy, please," Audette stopped in front of him heaving, grabbing both of his hands in hers. Although he allowed it his silvery eyes were hooded and serious as he glared downwards.

Audette bounced awkwardly on one of her feet, clamping her teeth together as she fought to release a cringe worthy invitation. Her blond hair danced around her shoulders with the anxious motion, and she noticed Guy having a grand old time watching her squirm from afar.

Draco's face started to flinch with dread, probably imagining she was about to ask him something much more serious after what had just occurred, "Well spit it out, Jesus Christ Bellarose are you going to faint?"

The expression on his face indeed made her feel like she was about to pee her dress in humiliation.

"Malfoy, I was wondering...would you...want to go to Hogsmeade with me tomorrow night?" she managed to squeak it out, scrunching her nose in preparation for the rejection.

Draco let out a heavy breath she hadn't realized he'd even been holding onto. He smiled sideways, glancing away from her, "Well it's really too bad that I was imagining that understanding. Sounds a little personal now, don't you think?"

With his head at an angle he bored his eyes into hers as if she were acting like a raving lunatic. Clearly he felt embarrassed by her crass response at the table, but it hadn't been her fault. They'd never even spoken of such a thing as a preliminary understanding before he'd gone and announced it.

Audette thought on her toes, literally, "Well. It's meant to be personal. I suppose it would be an excellent opportunity for you to take me on a date. If you truly desire an understanding of me, then that would be an ideal place to start." She raised her chin to the ceiling in a forgery of confidence as if it were her very right to request such a side blinding affair, but her eyebrows raised with her face clownishly.

Relax, she begged her eyebrows, but they were acting like two escapee caterpillars on her forehead.

"I beg your pardon? Do I seem like the type to go on romantic outings?" Draco laughed straight in her twitching features, so heartily in fact that she took a full step back grimacing.

It was true; he'd never been seen on a date, nor as a boyfriend... but he'd also never been seen spending so much energy on one girl in such a short period of time. She had to believe it was possible to attain.

"You heard me quite right," Audette stared stubbornly ahead at the Slytherin pin on his black tie, her face melting with a burning sensation akin to shoving her head in an active oven. Panic was beginning to twist in her tummy, panic that couldn't be contained like a virus to her nervous system.

Crap. Someone come knock her out with a candelabra or something of equal murderous caliber.

She heard him laughing again, felt the air breezing between them as he shook his head in amusement. A long, drawn out hiss escaped Draco's teeth as he pointed his face away from her and out into the hallway. His eyes danced left and right on receding students as he considered her invitation to date, "Fuck...I knew this was coming."

Audette hadn't defiled her pants since her days in diapers, but the possibility felt like it was about to return in cruel vengeance at that very moment. Her insides were squirming as she swallowed through the burning lump of disaster blocking her throat, sensing she had him partially hooked, "What about after your game? All I ask is you sincerely take me out. Even if but once."

She boldly raised her eyes to his and he laughed a third time, holding her eye contact, "I'll be too tired tomorrow, but you're welcome to come for another sleep over. This time don't bring that prissy pensioners gown."

"I'll come for a sleep over in whatever you want, after you've taken me on a real date," Audette hushed in contempt, pouting slightly like a toddler.

"Uh oh, someone's worked up," Draco absolutely lost it at the determination in her features, his eyes glinting playfully, "This is preposterous, Audette."

"Why is it preposterous!" she yelled the first portion of the sentence desperately before dropping the volume of her voice again. Eavesdropping Hufflepuffs at a nearby table had begun to make fun of the interaction with poor disguise.

Draco chewed on his lip, shrugging coyly, "What if a proper lady such as yourself were to be caught unchaperoned with a prurient such as myself? I might be hung by my neck before dawn."

She scoffed, "Oh. Really funny. This is not the nineteenth century."

"Tell that to yourself," Draco snorted with a tsk of his tongue.

"Alright deal, I'll take you on a date, and then...you'll sleep over in nothing, absolutely nothing, and you won't be hiding behind any pillows either. A million galleons says you'll back out on your end of the agreement," he craned his neck to the side to fake checking out her body in vivid sarcasm, then brought his daring diamond eyes back to hers.

All out of options and recognizing that he was determined to be difficult, Audette clutched his hands tighter in hers and pressed up to kiss him, "Then I shall be a million galleons wealthier before midnight."

Draco swayed on the spot, humming in entertainment as Audette leaned into him. People pushed at them from all sides in clusters, gossiping and pointing at the snogging couple smack in the middle of the exit.

When she pulled away from him he disentangled his hands to pat her cheeks, grinning down at her, "You're very cute, but the matter is already settled. I'm busy tomorrow. Try not to be so serious or you might get your precious crinoline tangled."

Audette let her hands slap to her legs as she watched him walk out of sight, his gait powerful and authoritative, not even a slight glance sent back in her direction.

"I don't wear crinoline gowns that often," she whispered in grievance to herself, rolling her eyes to the starry sky above the dining population. At a minimum Pansy had been right; Draco hadn't walked away fuming and that was ultimately what counted, but perhaps she was now in a frustrated, chemical tizzy.

After all, at least one of the chambers of her fragile heart had truly hoped he'd say yes to the date.