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How Not To Screw A Slytherin
20 | ﴾ Loyalty Is Capital ﴿

20 | ﴾ Loyalty Is Capital ﴿

Audette's vision was divided into two perfectly round circles.

The magical binoculars in her gloves were jammed so hard around her eyeballs that they were bound to leave two red rings imprinted into her skin, just like those idiotically circular spectacles that Harry Potter refused to upgrade.

"Get your own binoculars, you ruddy succubus!" Guy pawed at the instrument, attempting to snag back his precious property. It had cost him an entire summer of savings if Audette knew any better, as Cosmos ran his own silly little business de-Gnoming garden beds which had been overrun with the invasive, cussing vermin.

She had witnessed for herself the chaos of Cosmos in action when she and Theodore had accompanied him on a hot summer day, only to spend literal hours laughing hysterically at Cosmos yelping every five seconds and going off on pointlessly tangential arguments with the horrible beasts. Eventually he'd come to the keen realization that metamorphing himself into a gnome and leading them off to traps was the best strategy, although it was no less funny to observe.

"Sod off, I have two champions to watch over. How many do you have?" Audette leaned defensively far away from him into Millicent's stinky shoulder, twisting the magnification settings to zoom in on the line of champions thousands of feet below in the retired caldera. They were all puffing out clouds of frozen breath and bouncing anxiously in place with their wands at the ready.

"I thought I might dabble in creeping over that French dream," Cosmos remarked romantically.

"He's rude, I'll have you know," Audette barked back, playing with the settings which were permitting her to see impossibly far as the goggles distended several wonky inches off of her face. In fact if one toggled too drastically it was possible to perceive microcosmic and cellular degrees of materiality, which was veritably discomforting.

The spectators portal had spat her out at the very top of the glacial mountain, where carved into the long-term ice deposits was a three meter wide ring around the entire mountain for the eager observers to cluster and peer down at the gruesome so-called race.

From where she was situated it was suddenly quite apparent to Audette exactly why broomsticks were strictly prohibited.

The race would be conducted at a ninety-degree angle, whereas the champions would be required to ice-climb up three-hundred extremely unstable meters of a rigid glacial face.

Without explanation the Simulation Architect had arrayed the contestants at the opposite end of the slumbering, hollow volcanic bowl so that they would be forced to sprint a good additional hundred meters before even reaching the base of the pitch. To make matters even more extreme, pock marked throughout that expanse was a series of randomized icy holes the size of backyard swimming pools, tunnelling downwards into what was surely the pits of hell.

The top third of the climb was entirely obscured by a thick veil of nebular fog, where just before the end of the course the champions would be shrouded from view.

Audette's iris' must have been the size of Lancashire as they dilated to take in Draco, cracking his neck and trembling in place as if he couldn't wait another second to take off. She spanned down the lineup to Theodore who was still as a statue, his knee bent at the ready and his eyes honed in on Draco a few positions away.

Guy scoffed loudly in Audette's ear, "Well now who's being a hypocrite? It's not as though you aren't courting the rudest of the bunch. At least narrate you bloody thief, what's unfolding down there?"

"They're just waiting around," Audette whispered weakly. Her mind was definably preoccupied with the notion that either one of her boys would maim the other, crossing her proverbial fingers that nothing horrible would occur.

It wasn't long before Casper raised his wand in front of the young champions and a gigantic golden firework fizzled from the tip of it to explode in the sky in the shape of the word GO, signifying that the race had begun.

Guy freaked out and ripped back his binoculars, leaning far over the permafrozen guard to gawk at the bolting champions, "Good lord, the landscape is practically swiss cheese!"

"Don't remind me," Audette whined in agony, now refusing to look with her head bent down.

"Malfoy is in the lead already!" Millicent screeched excitedly on Audette's left, elbowing her hard in the ribs with her chunky bone structure.

Behind the three ogling in the very front row, the entire Slytherin population were craning their necks and shouting at the tops of their lungs - save for Blaise Zabini of course, who was watching in concrete form as if he'd just been chiseled from the very ice they were surrounded by.

Almost as if it were not eleven at night the crowd was uncontrollably agitated. The first quarter moon in the sky jeered down at the ring of explosive spectators like a salty slanted eyeball, and the wind was violent and unfriendly, biting at their clothing and whipping around the various sports paraphernalia in the gloves of hyper fans.

Audette immediately shot into the very overreaction that Draco had suggested she avoid, covering her eyes with both hands in total alarm. She peered between the fuzz of her mitts to see that two green blurs were in fact ahead of the other fourteen, tailed expertly by the huge Erenholl boy in gold and emerald, and then three of the overqualified Durmstrangs.

In his left silver glove Draco's wand was struck out in front of his chest, spastically casting a direct path over the cratered topography.

He was employing complex magic to manipulate the polar conditions, drawing from the preexisting geography and extending it by forming brittle bridges of ice over the mysterious pits that just barely withstood both his weight and Theodore's who was directly behind him and taking advantage of Draco's wit.

Audette could hardly make out the madness, but one thing was for certain; the transcendental bridges were collapsing at the heels of Nott who on more than one occasion had to leap from the randomly disintegrating terrain just to make it to safety.

The base of the caldera was an absolute rainbow flurry of casting spells, making it difficult to see just about anything with or without the assistance of binoculars. Several of the champions were obviously finding themselves held up by the pits and ill-preparation, forcing them to scale around the circumference of the earthly anomalies.

"Oh fuck!" Goyle suddenly cried, and Audette launched into intergalactic hysteria. She physically fought Guy for his binoculars, then super-glued them to her sweaty face.

The lenses were already drilled to such a scale that she almost couldn't zone in on the point of action she was searching for, finally realizing as the concentrated glass fell into place that Theodore Nott had chosen his moment to shine.

He was a mere few meters behind Draco as they neared the base of the climb, and she watched in affright as he raised his wand and cast, forming a gigantic arc of ice with razor sharp teeth at the end of the point. As he passed by the formation hot on Draco's trail he snapped off a makeshift sword.

"No," Audette began to hyperventilate theatrically.

"No what?" Guy gulped at her side.

As if it could not get any worse, an ear-splitting symphony of screeches erupted then. The entire mountain seemed to be trembling and shaking under a rapturing stampede of hundreds of wild hags which began to spill from the chasmic dimples in the straightaway to chase the champions, as if Hell itself had just regurgitated it's most putrid residents.

"Oh dear lord, my trypophobia," Guy squealed in nausea, turning around in total abhorrence.

It was no longer a race which was defined by the champions themselves, but also a survival of the abominable beasts that had emerged like a disease from the Earth.

Flowing like insects from the icy pits, the naked Russian hags were keenly digging their claws into the field of snow with black orbs for eyes and knives for teeth. They were aptly adept to the frigid geography, ascending over the slippery ice to chase down the champions with monstrously sharp nails and in possession of intrinsic wandless magic. With skin pulled tight to the bone they were the very vision of disgusting cadavers brought back to life, and the introduction of the dangerous monsters only threw chaos into outright pandemonium.

"Carnivorous, aren't they?" Pansy queried carelessly to the group of Slytherins with her manicured eyebrows bent in unusual consideration.

Quite correct.

If Audette recalled a single fraction of Professor Droopy's dreadful class, it was that indeed Russian hags were the worst of their breed; cannibalistic, speedy, and utterly predatory. She had just about wiped them from her mind - given they were benighted, arcane, and seldom crossed in any typical magical interaction.

As the arena continued to evolve enigmatically, Theodore caught up to Draco and tackled him into a dusty brawl in the fresh snow.

The entire speculating population gasped in shock as a plume of sparkling white snow blasted into the air, then settled to reveal that Theodore Nott was forcing a crystalized blade down onto Draco's throat, thankfully prevented from decapitating the boy only by Draco's quivering glove.

A man in very expensive red robes seemed to be lost for understanding in the Slytherin stand, commenting loudly as if his opinion were publicly requested, "Are they not meant to be competing from the same school? What in Merlin's white beard..."

Audette twisted the binoculars several times resulting in the viewport landing on Theodore and Draco in high definition, and the terrible ice sword mere millimeters from Draco's jugular. The gripping anger in Theodore's expression was unworldly, his nose crinkling as he held the deadly weapon.

Draco managed to raise his glove and snap off a near foot of the elemental sword, then to Audette's total horror he drove the broken, jagged blade into Theodore's right flank.

The two boy's blue eyes locked as the offence was committed, and Audette was certain she could see anguish in Draco's expression as he potentially took the life of his forgotten friend.

"Did he just..?" Guy rasped, understandably lost for words.

Yes, Draco Malfoy had just stabbed Theodore Nott.

The Slytherin section paled as a whole, taken aback by the unexpected devastation.

Audette burst into unhinged tears as her nightmare transitioned to a reality, fixating the binoculars on Draco's horrified silver eyes which were dancing between Theodore's in matching, intimate shock. Where he had imbedded the weapon between the delicate scales of Theo's armour, a steady stream of blood trickled from the resulting wound and seeped into Draco's glove.

After absorbing the seriousness of his actions, Draco then shoved Theodore off of him and scrambled to his feet, but his face was collapsing in pain. His body language made clear that he wasn't sure quite what to do for a moment as he gagged there in bent form - taking in Nott fighting to breathe, blood pooling on the hard ice...

"Hold me, Cosmos," Audette emotionally broke in half, giving in to the torrential distress rocketing throughout her nervous system. She dropped her head sideways onto Guy's puffy yellow shoulder who in turn wrapped his arm around her with motherly care. Even the cruelest of the Slytherins appeared ill that evening, glancing downwards in pitiful woe.

Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.

With a wrenching expression of pure sickness Draco eventually fled the site and took off once more, reaching the icy wall and leaving Theo to die in misery. He began pull-casting magical instruments on the vertical face, piercing the frozen exterior with strange equipment and climbing at a tremendous speed.

Thankfully Theo had come prepared with plentiful supplementation of Essence of Dittany. Audette was flooded with relief when she saw him pouring the familiar medical potion over his oozing wound, his eyes shut tight in excruciating cringe.

"Get up, come on, get up," she hushed in aching encouragement under her breath, the lens of the binoculars blurring from her slick tears. The clambering hags were only several dozens meters away and closing in.

Theodore hung his head back for a split second before climbing crookedly to his feet, clutching at his abs in a dizzy stagger before soon regaining his position in the race and only just maintaining a lead on the hags thundering across the playing field on all fours.

By this point every champion was now latched to the multi-pitch in some way, shape or form; one girl from Beauxbatons had charmed her gloves to be ultra sticky so that she might climb like a tree frog, and another boy from Durmstrang had make-shifted some terrible mechanical creation that was actively coring through the ice like a mole to a patch of dirt.

"Audette, there you are," a familiar callous, aristocratic boom drew Audette's eyes from the two glass panes she'd been focusing her entire world through.

Oh no.

That particular Irish lilt could only belong to one stately man.

Carefully lowering the binoculars, Audette sulked as she rotated to face Montgomery Bellarose, having just crept up on her at the most inopportune moment in his fine silver robes. The students in the vicinity backed away from Audette's famous parents, leaving her at the center of attention and instantly maundering, "Fa-father, what a delightful c-curiosity..."

Guy, having been the only brave soul not to scatter away like a cockroach in the light, nodded avidly while cuddling up to Audette as if she could protect him in any manner.

In following with his typical style Montgomery was puffing on a tobacco infused wooden pipe, smoke curling before his scientific sneer.

Audette could already feel the disappointment ebbing in her direction as he evaluated the makeup on her face for a boyfriend she still had explaining to do for.

Over his left green eye was his signature monocle which sported a trailing golden chain from his cheek down to a baby blue waistcoat under his white suit. Long tufts of blond hair waved from his skull beautifully without any requirement for gel or design, and with equal grace his handlebar moustache sat composed over his lip.

Her mother was there as well with her strawberry hair woven into a braid down to her waist in a deeply enthusiastic pink dress and white petticoat, although she seemed to be a shell of herself with hardly any energy. In fact, Audette had never seen her mother so run down and burnt out, and for a moment she found herself blinking in disbelief at the bags under Eloise's eyes.

Of course they were at Hogwarts, her father had bloody well worked on the tournament.

It had been a surprisingly quiet span of time since Draco and Audette had been caught red handed snogging in Befana by the Malfoy's - in fact it had been too good to be true that Montgomery hadn't showed up at Hogwarts the very next day to scold her senseless earlier.

The puffing pipe slid to the corner of Montgomery's mouth as he stepped forward to assess Audette's wild state, "Now Audette, you are aware of the Erumpant in the room, surely. I wish to trust you unreservedly, but I'm afraid rooting out the evil in you child is damn near insurmountable. Upon arriving at work two weeks ago I was subjected to a shocking exchange with Lucius Malfoy. What do suppose he had to inform me of?"

One did not have to look far for the answer, which was smack dab on her cringing face in the form of MAL and FOY.

Coupled with the giggling of Pansy Parkinson at Audette's demise and the haunting shrieks of the hags behind her, Audette was affordably distracted from the untimely confrontation.

She struggled to resist peeling her eyes away to ensure that the boyfriend in question wasn't already expired and being ripped limb from limb, "Well I-I had intended to ask your permission to-"

"-To pursue a new suitor, which you did not," Montgomery's eye twitched lividly behind the spectacle, "Spotted by the Malfoy's in ill-mannered frivolity, and dare I say it - defiance. Fleeing recklessly, was the report from Lucius."

"Kissing, heaven forbid," Audette rambled in defensive sarcasm.

Eloise stepped forward and tore a glove off to pet Audette's glittery cheek, "Audette why on earth do you have a mild tan? Have you been out in the sun too much?"

"I've been attending Draco's Quidditch games, mother," she replied with increasing hostility, swerving away from the fingers in her face.

Eloise tutted disapprovingly, "Without your parasol? Have you lost all sensibility? You'll age twice as fast and sacrifice your darling skin quality."

Montgomery was not at all disturbed by Audette's skin quality, gearing the conversation back around to Draco.

He waved a navy glove at the Slytherins in the vicinity, "Where the devil is he then, the Malfoy boy? Should he not be here by your side, ensuring of your compromise? You are fortunate that I approve of your selection. The Malfoy's represent a sturdy line - but this approval is conditional upon my speaking to Draco, and conjoined with a warning Audette; never surprise me in this fashion, ever again."

If her father knew what Draco Malfoy had already done to his daughter in the confines of his bed, there would be no world where approval was even an option. If he knew what Theodore Nott had done to his daughter then there would be a murder in cold blood. Audette as it was, was supposed to remain virginal until a suitable marriage had been confirmed.

Fail.

Audette bit her lip shyly and nodded with temporary relief, "He's a bit preoccupied at the moment, I'm afraid you'll have to speak with him later."

"Preoccupied how exactly?" Montgomery glared suspiciously at his daughter, as if Audette were somehow hiding her boyfriend in the frilly pocket of her dress.

"Competing," she barely managed to hush the words before the sound of a thousand inhales drew her attention back to the arena.

Halfway up the cliff a hag had latched onto the slowest champion, a thin boy from Erenholl who was clinging to a notch in the ice wall while attempting to shoot spells backwards at it's hideous face.

The champion's agonized cries were apparently too much for Guy, now having watched him get bitten several times in the lower leg, "Great Scott! Isn't this the part when Dumbledore intervenes?"

"Poor representation from Erenholl I see, probably for the best," Montgomery snarled under his breath.

Sadly, Dumbledore did not intervene from wherever he had implanted himself somewhere mysterious, and shortly the hag won the fight.

The Irish student lost control of his grip. And fell.

When he hit the ground he laid there motionless, and the horrible possibility that he had died clung to the wintry air. The boy lifted his arm in a daze, when suddenly two more hags descended upon him and proceeded to drag him, screaming for his life, into one of the ice pits.

Multiple wails of morbid malcontentment echoed around the ring.

"Ah yes, it's appears your shift in intentions has procured a controversy of biblical proportions," Montgomery commented in cruel amusement, his heavy hand landing on Audette's shoulder as he focused his monocle higher to zoom in on where Theodore had caught up to Draco, and was now hurtling potion bombs at his feet.

Draco had to dyno leap from a chaussy slab of crumbling ice that resulted from the explosives going off, driving a small knife directly into the climbing face. He paused, panting in suspension and began shouting down at Theodore with a venomous glare.

Only throwing fuel on the bonfire was the uninvited arrival of Harry Potter who positioned himself horizontally parallel with Theodore and began to interject, yelling at the brawling Slytherins from behind his cracked glasses.

Draco seized the beneficial distraction and moved upwards, to which Theodore evidently panicked, shot a spell at Harry's face that left his dark hair singeing in straight strands, and continued to chase down his target.

Being in the lead Draco naturally was the first to disappear behind the cloudy segment in the final stretch. When Theodore too was shrouded from view, his location continued to remain obvious based on the relentless colourful potion bombs he was launching unjustly.

Montgomery twisted the tip of his stylish moustache, "Well all in good sport. Audette is naturally a highly coveted prize - even moreso once the new world is established. Shall we make use of my special clearance and meet them for the victory? It's dreadfully rare that I come out to this educational facility, and I will be speaking with Draco one way or another. Tonight."

Worried sick about one too many things, Audette bid goodbye to Guy and allowed herself to be channeled by her terrifying father around the ring. He was guiding the Bellarose family towards where a golden glow emanated at the top of caldera, highlighting the end zone.

"Many hags - too many hags - we had to collect and detain for this first trial," he spoke to no one in particular, running his glove along the guard.

After passing through a collection of Ministry aurors who nodded their heads at Montgomery, they reached the highest point in the geographical formation where several professors from each school were waiting around with their hands clasped and their faces serious.

The Simulation Architect had a purple pillow in his hands, and on that pillow was a pulsating lavender medal on a long chain. It depicted the crests of all four challenging schools.

Another ten minutes in grueling silence passed by, and Audette hid behind her cloak hood so that her father would be less tempted to grill her for information.

Finally, the sounds of scraping and heaving breaths, and a bloody silver glove smacked over the lip of the cliff. Then a second.

Draco's platinum hair popped into view, stained with spray from potion bombs and stiff from freezing over in the subzero climate. His nose was red and his eyes were watering as he crawled up onto the platform with patches of scales missing from his shiny armour. Several small acid wounds on his legs dripped blood onto the pearly hardscape.

Under the blaze of a firework setting off he staggered multiple times in exhaustion, turning back around to bend over the edge.

"Don't be a sniveling idiot, it's over!" he barked into the wind, pawing at someone out of view. Audette wondered if perhaps he was trying to push Theodore's head down, but miraculously the opposite was true.

He stepped back, dragging an injured Nott to his knees, then with a vicious snarl he kicked a poof of snow in his face, "Fuck you Nott."

Theodore spat blood onto the icy ground, his glove hung around his waist once more at the location of the stab wound, "This won't stop me, Malfoy. Nothing will, save for your resignation from Bellarose."

Oh Jimminey-Cricket. Audette's mitts returned to her face in grueling abashment - neither boys had apparently noticed her family standing there yet.

Draco placed his hands on his hips, choking on raggedy breaths, "It's never going to happen. Accept it."

"We have our first and second place, both from Hogwarts," the Simulation Architect stepped forward in tandem with a crew of medics flurrying to attend to Theodore, and placed the medal around Draco's neck. He held out a hand to shake Draco's freezing glove, "You are the highest ranking Mr. Malfoy, it is yours until the next trial. Congratulations."

Magnussen bent to shake Theodore's hand as well, but he refused to even acknowledge the praise.

Without a care for the ruination of her clothing Audette belted up to Draco and threw herself into his icy arms. He pet the back of her hair in clear shock that she was there, while his other hand was busy jabbing behind her at Severus Snape. His voice dropped into a dark and edgy grisle, "He has to be fucking disqualified! This is absolutely psychotic!"

"Draco..." Audette tried to warn that her parents were literally right there witnessing him swearing his face off, but Snape drawled right over her.

"I am not subject to disqualify a champion, Mr. Malfoy. Unfortunately I must remind you that Mr. Magnussen has clearly outlined in his design of the trials that fighting between champions...is permitted."

Draco let it go, placing both gloves on Audette's face as she smiled weakly at him. He was covered in a shivering cold sweat and breathing minty delight in a bubble around her, his eyes wild with the glow of his medal, "How did you get up here? Couldn't wait to see me that badly?"

He kissed her heatedly before she could respond, and Audette's tummy - including all of her guts - began to coil anxiously with the knowledge that her father was assessing absolutely everything.

"Well you see...Draco, relax your fondling," she slid her face sideways to break off his tongue-filled, sweaty embraces, her cheeks flushing with hot blood as he nipped at her neck and squeezed her backside under a stained glove.

"Now that's enough," Montgomery's dangerous voice finally cut the crap, having floated up to the pair. He made a friendly gesture to Snape who was skulking around nearby, then narrowed his eyes between them.

Draco paled to a ghostly palette, his gaze darting over to the monocle glinting lethally at him in the firelight of the stakes, "Mr. Bellarose, sir."

Montgomery used his wand to press Audette away from Draco's hold, "Impressive work today, congratulations indeed. Come walk with me, man to man, and explain to me your intentions with my daughter."

He guided Draco a few meters away, partially out of earshot of the waiting faculty and event members, but little snippets could still be collected if one concentrated hard enough over the roaring crowd and wailing hags.

Audette stood by her mother's side, anxiously pulling on her dress to unruffle it as four more champions completed the task and noisy fireworks rocketed off; the Beauxbatons girl with sticky gloves, the Durmstrang boy from earlier in the cave, Harry Potter with the most disheveled hair he'd ever sported, and a significantly bloodied Erenholl boy.

Montgomery's choppy sentences were polluting any sense of peace in Audette's mind by the second, "Your parentage benefits you in this circumstance, however...should you challenge me for my daughter's honour..."

Draco's eyebrows tented apologetically, speaking in a low hush as smoke from the pipe built up around their heads.

Mr. Bellarose hummed in some form of disbelief, raising his glove to command silence, "Now, now, Mr. Malfoy do you suspect that I lack...Given the escalation of this..."

With a flash of his steely eyes over Montgomery's shoulder, Draco locked nervous gazes with Audette as he muttered a reply.

Montgomery shuffled very close to Draco then, his monocle flashing to suggest magic was being employed to scrutinize him, "And I shall not forget it, consider yourself...We have shielded her from the grave realities of...Of course, it is inevitable in the coming...and I possess strict expectations of you then boy - strict. Loyalty is capital."

Draco blinked slowly, nodding in some bizarre solemnity.

At that ominous ode Montgomery swiveled on the spot in his spectacular robes, marched straight up to Audette and ran his wand down her cheek, "Approval has been granted. Clean up your act." He whipped the wand away so quickly that a fragile scratch bloomed on her skin, leaving her in place to rub green makeup in smudgy circles.