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How Not To Screw A Slytherin
7 | ﴾ Pretty Boys ﴿

7 | ﴾ Pretty Boys ﴿

The world began to slink into darkness, shifting towards the Winter equinox in a creeping fog.

Brimming upon Halloween, the ambiance around the time-worn superstructure of Hogwarts grew static and electric with woe and dread.

Water crystallized on the sharp faces of stonework in a show of spectacular filigreed geometry only to be melted away later, then reformed once more in a purgatory seasonal cycle.

Deciduous trees shed their wrinkled leaves, whispers came and went out of seemingly no where, ghosts were especially rampant, and the shrill cries of feral monstrosities in the Forbidden Forest reminded all attendees at the institution that they should never venture between the black hardwood that framed the property on three sides.

It had been a long and sorrowful week following the argument with Theodore, essentially characterized by hours and hours of Flobberworm detention, self-imposed wallowing, and complex, polarizing dispositions towards both Malfoy and Nott.

One thing was certain: Theodore had made himself clear, and it was time that Audette stopped glimmering her eyes in his direction. But letting go of Theodore - despite his recent nastiness - was like attempting to split a diamond with a spoon.

He was hurting over the fact that she'd been intimate with Draco; nothing else could have made him respond so wickedly. But it wasn't enough to bring him back.

Problem number one; Theo was of the belief that she was whoring herself out for his attention, or something even more diabolical. It was impossible to know as he would not even give her the light of day.

Problem number two; Draco Malfoy had lost his superficial playboy reputation to her, and he seemed to be determined to prove otherwise.

He tended to walk with such velocity through the Slytherin common room that even the idea of speaking to him was fleeting and irrational. And when he wasn't striding around at breakneck speed she spotted him flirting with other girls constantly, and it only proved to agitate her solemnity.

Very little interaction was supplemented by the magnetic blond after their humiliatingly abrupt debauchery, and Audette was not only taken aback by the cold-shoulder treatment but also his show of antipathy.

She hated to admit it, but it was more than a dare now. She missed him, just as she'd missed him years ago when their friendship had terminated.

In her bed at night she thought of how his rigid body had felt against hers, the electric way he'd tasted and smelled, the manner in which he'd held her all night sweetly in his arms...there was so much more occurring behind those icy eyes then she'd ever awarded credit to.

And then she would resort straight to what Theodore had so bitingly pointed out; Draco Malfoy was supposedly breathtakingly manipulative and driven to ruin women for the sake of his social hierarchy.

Problem number three: she was amative towards both of them, and it hurt just as bad as a toddler planting their hand on a sizzling stove top surface for the first time. Except Audette didn't learn by getting burned; she was proceeding to then plant her whole face on the stove top with a stupid smile on.

In her bed she would lay, with her eloquent green eyes memorizing the fabric awning of her four-poster bed, wondering perhaps if Theodore Nott had not been so perfectly stainless as she had once thought him to be. Four years, she'd looked up to him, literally and physically.

It had been so easy.

He'd seemingly taken care of her; supporting her emotionally, buying her things, keeping bullies at bay, helping her with her homework, taking her on adventures...and just because he hadn't been nasty to her she'd not assigned that personality trait to him, when in fact he could be malicious.

Being on the other side of his rage had been terrifying and shocking, and Audette couldn't get it out of her head when they passed by each other with steely eyes.

One Friday afternoon she stood before the floor to ceiling mirror in the eighth floor dormitory level with Think-Think perched on her shoulder, absolutely at the limit of her ability to function.

She was alone in the room after having slept in past her first two classes, and she was only up because it was lunch time and she was starved.

T-T slunk the side of his pudgy pink cheek against her ear sympathetically, appraising her run down appearance in the reflection. She'd cried so much it was a miracle there was any fluid left in her body, and it was beginning to show in the bags under her eyes and the redness on her cheeks.

Sneezing like a tiny fairy and also under the weather as a result of his owner's depression, T-T then cleared his squeaky throat, "We want Draco Malfoy back."

Audette sniffled, playing with her green and silver tie, "We do, don't we? I suppose we'd benefit from putting everything into this dare that we've got. The only issue is, we haven't spoken in some time."

Think-Think sighed, dragging himself to her other shoulder. Audette rolled her eyes wishing she could convince him just to stay on the naughty side for once.

With his wispy breath he consulted again, "We should not forget that this sensation of heartbreak will return if we are vulnerable with Draco Malfoy and he does not reciprocate it. We should be cautious, as he is not known for affectation."

Audette waved her hand around in adversity, "Honestly T-T I can handle it, as of now it's only a crush."

Now back on her left shoulder Audette saw the bear rub it's two paws together, it's black eyes slanting naughtily, "Draco Malfoy feels his repertoire has been tarnished. He will be pleased if we give it back to him."

She grimaced; that look on the teddy was typically an indication of truly serpentine devising. Think-Think had once suggested to Audette that she end Theodore's life in cold-blood over not sharing a banana with her on a hiking trip, so it went without saying that she had learned to filter his advice carefully.

"Well, nothing too wild. But we could see if he's up for a bit of fun. First he's got to apologize for ignoring me though, that's no way to treat a girl," Audette stared at herself thoughtfully, wiping away her tears.

She was slim and beautiful with long waves of golden, glossy hair down to her waist and mesmerizing green eyes she'd inherited from her Irish mother. She was pale as cream with a rosy button nose and cheeks. Little speckles of impurities dotted her skin here and there in the form of moles and pint-point freckles, but she quite liked these features.

Beautiful, but prudent, as everyone in the school seemed to enjoy pointing out, always strutting around in dated dresses up to her chin and going to bed early.

This feature about her had become central in the chastising occurring towards Draco. Insinuations were fluttering around that he'd been beaten in his own game by a goodie-two-shoes who only had to kiss him to mess up his trousers.

Theodore's astringent voice echoed in her brain: What happened to the refined and courtly young woman I knew four months ago?

Well, that girl was the one that got dumped on a bridge without explanation, and that girl was the one holding her back. Perhaps it was time to hybridize, just a smidge.

Directly after a quiet lunch she left for her favorite class with Guy at her side.

And of course. In the archway leading into Magiozoology she received a rather blunt knock into her shoulder nearly tripping her into a total face plant. Audette straightened her robes in a huff, sticking her tongue out at Theodore as he glared back over his shoulder with stormy eyes.

Things were regrettably getting childish.

This was now the third class he'd pulled the same tactic in that week to hatefully draw her attention.

Guy leaned in and kissed her cheek as they sat down in the very back, nearly hidden from the class in a dusty old booth they always took shelter in, "Don't worry Audette; I'll transform myself into Dumbledore later. We can convince Nott his parents called him to come home because his dog died. Then we'll see who's having a ruddy laugh when he's standing there all confused in the train station."

Audette slumped her cheek into her palm, staring at the back of Theodore's head of healthy brown hair where he'd positioned himself almost at the front all alone. He'd leaned far back in his seat with straight legs to the floor and crossed ankles.

Audette couldn't peel her eyes away from his incredible physique and handsome side profile, finding that sharing classes with him was becoming increasingly distracting, "No, Guy we've been over this. You'll be downright expelled for such blasphemy. I really aught to move on - it's about time before this misery eliminates me."

It was another dull day in Professor Droopy's Magiozoology course - a N.E.W.T. level elective meant to be taken subsequent to Care of Magical Creatures credits.

Living up to the offensive sobriquet he'd been assigned by ruthless students, Professor Deverell Drybutter had an exceptionally large face that had lost a battle against gravity. Over eighty years old and appearing more like a Neapolitan Mastiff than a man, he sported low hanging jowls and slits for eyes where his forehead sagged dramatically.

Due to his resulting poor vision, students in the class essentially did whatever they felt like as he could not see farther than a few feet in front of him and was just about deaf as a doorknob.

"Droopy" spoke in very slow and sonorous tones, and when they were not inspecting a live creature as was the unfortunate case that day, the hours would drag substantively throughout the afternoon during scripture-based lessons.

Audette had taken the course because she hoped to follow in her parent's footsteps, who were both prominent Magiozoologists within the Ministry of Magic. As one might surmise, their rural estate was a tad rambunctious with just about every enchanted creature imaginable.

Guy was there because he possessed seriously unique skills as a Metamorphmagus, hoping one day to work as a specialized agent for the Ministry by mimicking magical creatures in settings that required discrete intelligence. Audette and Guy often imagined working closely together in the future, as they were best friends with all the same interests - then again, it was still a pipe dream away.

Theodore on the contrary no longer needed to take the class at all in his quest to become an independent Alchemist, but had already signed up in order to attend alongside his girlfriend, whom he'd then conveniently broken up with a few months later.

Now he seemed to be utilizing the opportunity just to sneer at her, and the only good that came of it was seeing him get nailed in the head by the dung of a rather ill-scented Bundimun who's cage was directly above him on the first day of the week.

Drowning out the nasily drone of Professor Droopy at his chalkboard, the classroom unraveled into it's usual pandemonium.

For the first ten minutes several disrespectful girls got out of their chairs to wander around and whisper to each other about the upcoming arrival of the Triwizard Tournament contenders on Monday.

Two Hufflepuff boys at the front were having far too much fun hijacking control of the charmed chalk that Droopy had commanded to write for him. Now it was scribbling utter nonsense on the board that had nothing to do whatsoever with what he was saying, and more than half of the attendants were laughing quite loudly at the absurdity.

Audette turned to Guy, holding out her palm, "Alright, hand over one of those concentration pills. I have so much work for McGonagall - might as well get a head start during this bore."

Guy emptied the pockets of his filthy robes, and soon the table was littered with uninviting debris. Audette craned her neck and leveled her eye to the table surface with a deepening frown.

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Droobles bubblegum, bent chocolate frog cards, a very strange pocket brush, clusters of unmentionable wrappers and nondescript, moldy food, a set of golden keys, and scattered with flecks of filth stuck to them were pills of various colors.

"Enticing," Audette commented insincerely, her tongue twisting in revolt at the idea of swallowing anything that had just emerged from Cosmos' nasty clothing.

"Well it's all here," Guy defended sheepishly, beginning to flick garbage off the edge of the desk without a care for Filch having to discover it later.

He started to divide hairy pills into piles based on color and shape, pointing a painted finger nail between the blue and the white ones, "It's either...they're either one of these two."

"Either?" Audette covered her grin with her fingers, "And what if I pick incorrectly? Will I land myself dim-witted in St. Mungo's?"

Yellow eyes twitching in concentration, Guy made a rickety decision that Audette didn't entirely trust. He plucked up a dark blue pill that looked like it'd already been through a war zone in his apparel, "Nah, it's this one, I'm fairly certain. If it's the wrong one then, just remember to tell yourself none of it is real. Here babe, I'll even take one with you."

The creaky groan of the heavy classroom door swinging inwards paused the universal theatrics, right as Droopy had begun to squint at the board and discover that it was filled with rude notions about himself instead of principles regarding establishing magical wildlife sanctuaries.

Audette stopped breathing when she saw Draco Malfoy enter and beeline for the professor in his fluttering black and green robes, wishing instantly that she had not just gulped down a questionable substance.

Draco held out a rather formal looking piece of parchment with plum bordering around the perimeter of the paperwork, and Droopy had to hold it directly up to his oversized nose just to make out a single word.

While Droopy grumbled in confusion Draco raised his chin to scan the room, first giving Theodore a snarky jeer then landing on Audette with smug satisfaction.

Guy grinned at her immediately, "Oh look Audette, it's Prince Charming."

Audette began to paw at her appearance vapidly, noticing Theodore glancing resentfully between both parties. "There's no way he could be in this class - he stopped taking Care of Magical Creatures years ago. He'd be a lost cause," she hushed to Guy in amusement, but her heart was now gushing with hope.

Droopy's face wobbled, barely audibly woofing something that sounded like Lushious Toy. His tubby face jiggled as if he didn't believe what Draco was arguing with him about, then handed back the parchment and turned away with a dismissive wave.

Guy and Audette met eyes with immediate understanding, speaking in synchronization, "Lucius Malfoy."

Draco folded the paper arrogantly, grinning up at Audette as he made his way to the middle of the room.

As with most of the archaic auditoriums found in Hogwarts, the classroom design jogged up in increasing podium levels the farther to the back one strayed, and on each side of the aisle were pairs of seats in booths.

Ergo Guy and Audette were at the very top looking down upon the rest of the individuals present, and had a perfect view when Theodore made a brazen effort to trip Draco as he passed by him on the narrow staircase.

"Nice," Draco snorted after he predicted the attempt and athletically skipped two stairs past the attack.

Theodore turned fully to face Draco with his knee bent into the aisle, and for a second it appeared that he might stand and cause a ruckus, "Watch yourself Malfoy. Your father might be able to rearrange your schedule but he can't stop me from rearranging your fucking face while you're sleeping."

Draco shot him a very sarcastic expression of shock, stopping two levels above Nott in the laneway, "Is that a threat? I'd really like to know why you would even bother inefficiently rearranging the blueprint of my face instead of just smothering me. Who are you, Frankenstein?"

A whole slew of snickers erupted around the room in an audiological wave that went straight over Droopy's ugly, bald head.

Theodore bristled at the snide wit flowing from Malfoy in rivers, "Leave it to you to literally dissect a common figure of speech. You won't wake up at all when I get my hands on you, you despicable prototype of a man."

Audette found herself musing internally about exactly what had left Draco and Theodore at such blistering odds over the summer. They'd been close friends for so long, sitting side by side in classes and spending every weekend in the same group.

That year however, they hadn't been seen speaking together with civility except to take brutal jabs.

Draco popped his eyebrows, looking far too pleased with himself, "Luckily Bellarose likes to sleep in my bed. She'll warn me."

Audette dropped her flaming face into both hands when half of the students peered up at her.

She sucked in air through her teeth nervously, noticing through her fingers as Theodore gripped the edge of his desk to inevitably lash out.

"Sit," Professor Droopy ordered from the front of the room in his reedy, wheezy voice, staring at least fifteen degrees at the wrong angle to where he assumed Draco was actually standing somewhere in the middle of the windows.

"Oh god he's coming, help me Audette," Guy complained for an obvious reason.

There was only one seat available in the room and it happened to be beside Theodore Nott, and it wasn't exactly a mystery what Draco's agenda was as he climbed towards the two in the back.

"What would you have me do?" Audette felt blood rush and tingle along the surface of her skin when Draco stopped to loom over Guy.

His blueberry eyes were hooded and nasty as he kicked Guy out of his seat, "Move, peasant."

"Ohhhh, eh heh haa," Guy stood begrudgingly. "Making me sit beside Nott. You're lucky you're so bloody handsome Malfoy or I swear your attitude would not work for me," Guy started gathering up his books with flamboyant groans, wise enough to know when he would lose a fight in advance.

"Face it, there'll be a murder if I sit with that psychopath," Draco laughed unapologetically. In all fairness he wasn't incorrect.

Audette couldn't bring herself to look up through the awkward minute it took her friend to pack his belongings. Instead she chewed on her lips and reread the pretty notes she'd been taking on her glittery pink parchment.

In her peripherals she saw Guy slide from the booth, and with a defeated balk he was gone down the stairs to bicker with a seething Theodore to shove over.

Draco fell next to her and simply stared at the side of Audette's face while unpacking his things.

Shaking nervously she reached ahead and pet T-T in his tiny bear bed, trying to channel the uncomfortable energy in her body.

T-T had gone to another world in his teddy bear dreams, sleeping with a wide grin in the blue cashmere travel sweater Audette had sewn for him. She always brought him to Magiozoo because he gained her bonus points with Droopy.

Draco confidently slid an arm around her shoulders, leaning his pointy nose into her view and playing with her hair, "You can pretend I'm as invisible as that teddy bear all you want, but it's not going to make me disappear."

The smell of his cologne made her involuntarily moan, followed quickly by a shiver of dread when her eyes caught on Theodore who was now leaning around Guy's aquamarine hair to keep a direct line of sight on them.

Guy had launched into an avid rant, his spindly hands rotating around as they always did when he went on comical tangents. The topic would no doubt be nothing short of a nightmare for the intellect of Theodore.

Audette blinked, turning her face to Draco's inches away, "Oh pardon my manners, how dare I rashly submit you to such a feeling. Not as though you haven't pretended I've been invisible to you for the past week."

Draco shrugged, tapping his fingers on the wooden surface of the table. His hauntingly gorgeous smile pulled up on one side, "Had to be done. You almost razed my reputation in one go."

Audette twiddled her golden quill with her eyes downwards, "Well I was left to feel very taken advantage of. You can't possibly assume that by invading my courses I'll overlook such behavior."

He studied her once again before hanging his forehead down onto her shoulder, "Bellarose, I haven't been with a single girl this year aside from yourself. Give me a break."

"I don't believe it," she quipped in a playful tone.

A small smile nevertheless had begun to blossom on her face as his spiky white hair scratched at her neck and cheek, "And I should say for the life of me I can't discern what you want. We obviously posses different values."

He sat back and scuffed up her hair boyishly with a wink, "Not necessarily."

Draco rummaged in his Dragonshide satchel, pushing aside books, paperwork, and what looked to be at least three bruised green apples victimized by heavy texts. He found what he was looking for as Audette watched with sideways eyes, then pushed a piece of parchment in front of her.

"I want to know you," Draco watched her pick it up in awe.

At the very top right corner of the confidential item was the Hogwarts school crest, then below in romantic cursive was her official course schedule for the entire semester.

It was not the sort of files which were public domain - in fact, Audette was struck as to just how much power Draco's family evidently had over the institution.

She ran her eyes down the familiar compendium.

Apparition.

Ghoul Studies.

Magiozoology.

Herbology.

Transfiguration.

[Private - MM].

It was all there, every last detail of her timetable.

Audette made a scoffing noise in her throat as Draco casually slid his wand over the last, mysterious title, "What's this?"

"None of your business, that's what," Audette dropped the paper, further unimpressed when he took it back for safekeeping. She bounced in her seat to face him on her elbow, "I'm beginning to see that you're very snoopy, Malfoy, and you do not respect other people's privacy."

He laughed in a creamy lilt, running his eyes judgmentally up and down her body and over her sparkly notes, "Is it that embarrassing? What's McGonagall want with a slimy little Slytherin like yourself on Thursday afternoons?"

Audette thought for a moment, tickling T-T's tummy with the end of her quill, "Well why don't you show me yours, and perhaps I'll show you mine."

Draco shifted up against her eagerly so that their legs were touching. In a second his smoky breath was all around her, "Oh, Audette, you little harlot."

"Don't be crude, you're well aware I meant your class schedule," she balled up her fist and banged it off his knee under the desk. "And would you stop smoking before speaking to me? You reek."

Malfoy stretched in slow motion and made to remove his outer robes, smiling haughtily down at Nott who was going red in the face watching them communicate privately.

Without giving her any space Draco returned to tearing apart his bag, then dropped his schedule confidently over top of Audette's workspace. There was a revision date in the corner from only just hours prior, signed by both Severus Snape and Albus Dumbledore.

It was sufficed to say, she was greatly humbled when she realized Draco was much smarter than she was, that almost all of his courses were shared with Theodore, and that he was very busy with extracurriculars.

Quidditch.

Alchemy.

Magical Theory.

Advanced Arithmancy Studies.

Potions.

Defence Against the Dark Arts.

Magiozoology.

Dueling Club.

"How do you find the time for so much course overload?" Audette's eyes widened in appreciation.

It was no wonder she never saw the boy around - except now she would, Friday afternoons in that very room. "You should drop this class Malfoy, it isn't worth the fail," she tepidly passed back his chaotic schedule.

"Sure it is. Hang onto that for me," Draco pushed her hand back with a sly beam.

An hour into the lesson the sky outside began to gray. Rain pattered against the windows, and in the dim candlelight and gentle heat from the fire many people started to snooze through Droopy's endless blithering.

Even Theo had given up his uninterrupted glare to focus on writing with a heavy head and pointy shoulders. To his evident distaste, Guy had resorted to playing with a remembral in their booth as if it were the most fascinating object he'd ever come across, spinning it on the desk and describing loudly how the smoke inside probably tasted like the planet Saturn.

Draco was the last person that Audette needed beside her as he demonstrated equally terrible focus in her presence.

For forty-five minutes he'd been folding origami out of his pearly white parchment and charming it to life, and Audette had to keep guiding paper crabs, butterflies and turtles off of her wet ink.

He had her totally pinned into the corner with the endless flirting - the two of them side by side were hardly occupying half of the bench.

Audette gave him glittery eyes when he wrote impatiently right across her parchment, effectively ruining her work, Want to make out?

He bit his lip down at her with slanted eyebrows, and her nervous system danced with ecstatic anticipation.

She sighed, forcing herself to stubbornly scratch at the wrecked paper in response, Last time we made out you didn't speak to me for a week.

Raising her eyebrows she unrolled a new sheet to start over, but he just as rapidly vandalized this one, leaning across her fully, I thought of you every day.

She furiously scribbled onto the parchment, What sort of girl do you take me for? A fool?

Draco buried his nose in her hair, "Unforgettable, clearly."

Audette swallowed and closed her eyes wantonly as he pressed caressing kisses along her jawline. His fingers danced on her thigh in ticklish circles, his breath dreadfully delicate in her ear, "Switch seats with me."

The temptation was too much.

She let him take the corner seat, where he raised a bent knee against the back board and pulled her backwards into his open lap. His arms wrapped around her waist like a safety bar as she hung her head over his shoulder to kiss him sideways.

Their movements were so subtle, silent and darling, that Audette's world lit on fire.

The thrill of it sent her heart racing when his fluffy lips stuck to hers in long, drawn out kisses meant to be carefully muffled in the classroom scene. She raised her fingers to tepidly touch at his cheek, relinquishing herself entirely to the undeniable chemistry. He dug his nails into slow clenches against her ribs as they curled up in a quiet tangle in the corner.

Suddenly a horrible explosion broke the daydream and drew everyone's attention, even Droopy's.

Guy was on the ground in the aisle with his legs in the air like a lumpy hamster that had fallen from it's cage, having just been violently ejected from his seat by Theodore Nott who was storming out of the room early. Without a doubt he had spotted them snogging in the background and lost his temper, going on to slam the door with Jurassic force on his way out.

"Why the nerve of these pretty boys! I'm not safe anywhere I sit in this bloody place!" Guy bellowed frantically, the entire room snickering in hysteria. The remembral rolled away with resounding cracks on each podium level only to disappear under the professor's grubby robes at the front.

Guy sat there with his head on the wooden hardscape, rubbing at his eyes with closed fists, "And when did the fecking roof get torn off? Just look at those clouds!"

Everyone in the room craned their necks upwards to the musty ceiling where he was pointing a trembling finger. There was a mumbling of low confusion as the roof most certainly had not been removed, nor was it the sort of day for cloud gazing even if the parapet had grown wings and soared off.

Audette stared down into her palms with her pupils dilating.

Draco was shaking with laughter behind her, his arms pulling on her midriff, his chin now resting on her shoulder, "Cosmos' finally taken one too many drops to the skull, eh. What's the matter with your hands?"

Audette couldn't tell if she was imagining it, but he was kissing her cheek and smiling like a total pumpkinhead. He couldn't possibly be that pleased, but then again a terrible onslaught of confusing inebriation was hitting her all at once.

"Um..," she was lost for words, the world was spinning wildly and ringing like a bell. She'd assumed the electricity running rampant in her body was due to snuggling with Draco, but it was growing very apparent that she and Guy had taken the wrong pills after all.

Professor Droopy swiveled in blank consternation of the commotion that had probably come off as a dull thudding to his impoverished senses, "My lord, has the Swooping Evil escaped, children?"