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How Not To Screw A Slytherin
33 | ﴾ Shades Of Pink ﴿

33 | ﴾ Shades Of Pink ﴿

The year was 1994 and it was early December - four years prior down to the week.

A normally aromatic and mossy landscape around Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry had been replaced with a bone chilling freeze.

The waning solstice sun had just risen over the spired towers, each glazed with a carpeting of slick, wintery ice. Crispy, deceased leaves whorled and skirted about, and the deciduous trees responsible for the litter stood rigid and strained, producing gun shot level cracks as their wooden cores froze and snapped in place.

It was sufficed to say, not the sort of day that one goes for a casual jaunt around the grounds, and partnered with the ferocious wind chill, it was positively devastating that once again Care of Magical Creatures was requiring a trip outdoors.

The journey was a dreadful drag for the thirty or so unnerved fourteen year old students, whining all the way down the harsh mountainscape which now hosted nothing but barren brambles of excused plantings, slippery stone stairs, and black craggy rocks which jutted at random angles like juxtapositional eyesores under the white snow and ice.

The course was now back in the hands of the wild boar that was Rubeus Hagrid...to most Slytherins obvious disapproval.

He was the paragon of a tatterdemalion man, and worthy it seemed of an advertisement for much needed artillery-grade deodorant.

Audette was quite certain - even despite the subzero temperatures they were blundering through that blue sky afternoon - that wavering stink lines must have been permeating off of his bear pelt fur coat, invisible perhaps to the visual spectrum but certainly not to the olfactory senses.

"Not once has he combed that horrific beard, I'd put ten galleons on a hairbrush snapping in half first try," she hushed to Pansy Parkinson next to her, who's puggy, petite nose had gone drastically pink in the wintry afternoon air. She was buddled in a flawless black parka which contrasted starkly with Audette's pale lavender petticoat, decorated with pearly buttons and white fur fringes.

Pansy tsked under her breath in agreement, rolling her splendid brown eyes to the pristine spherical conditions above, "I would put one-hundred galleons on his lack of ever witnessing water spout from a tap."

The youthful, snarky giggling of the two girls apparently was too much for Ronald Weasley, who had been busy whispering bizarre notions to his fat ugly rat in front of them.

He stopped and spun so abruptly in his disheveled jacket that he just about moronically collided his nose with Audette's.

They all had been nonchalantly chatting for at least fifteen minutes on the quirky, hazardous pathway leading from the castle, down past the Quidditch pitch, past Hagrid's hut, and into the Forbidden Forest - yet this seemed to be the maximum limit of offence for the Gryffindor goodie-two-shoes boy.

"You shut your gobs, you foul pillocks," he growled, his gingery eyebrows fusing together at mechanical speed, "You'd be lucky to be half the person that Hagrid is. Shallow, wicked little-"

Ron's neck nearly snapped in half as he was horrendously shoved backwards by a surpassing Draco Malfoy, who mysteriously had his majestic black broomstick in his other seasonal glove.

He hovered defensively between the two Slytherin girls and the outraged Gryffindor in his designer black coat, pointing a leather clad finger at the center of Ron's open jacket, straight into an itchy maroon sweater which sported a large burnt yellow 'R' stitched over his chest.

"Half the person? Try one quarter with both of them combined Weasley. Really, it's a miracle you passed basic mathematics," Draco flickered his silky platinum hair to the side, "Unless of course, it was that frazzled freak of a mother that bothered to home school you, which might draw connections to your incapacity. I wonder; how ever did she find the time between her professional occupation of squashing cockroaches in that disgusting barn you choose to inhabit?"

He swung his gaze investigatively over his shoulder at Audette before trodding off. Now in retrospect it was terribly obvious that he was acting protective, but at the time it had gone right over her head and was effectively written off as part of his daily bullying quota.

In a whisper of pine and pretention he disappeared just as quick as he'd arrived, and Ronald Weasley was left fuming, barely held back by a small girl with hair as large as a cranberry bush.

"Don't have a strop over people so incapable of compassion Ronald, it's not worth it," Hermione Granger made to quickly wrap her arm around Ron's shoulder to prevent him from following after a quite haughty Malfoy, who was sifting his way to the front of the line like a rocket ship, victimizing oblivious students by parting them out of his direct path with coarse shoves.

Hermione's wistful eyes landed directly and with astringent confrontation on Audette, who elected to swivel her gaze elsewhere instantly.

Still, as she passed by the boiling red head and judgmental brainiac, Audette was not confident that they would resist the urge to curse her the second she stopped watching her heels.

Think-Think's absolutely terrifying, pyromaniac advice in her ear was not helpful whatsoever, "We should light her hair on fire, so that they may both be red heads."

Audette ignored the god awful suggestion from the bear with a drop of her jaw, crossing her fingers in the safety of her pocket that no one had overheard the demonic side of her insane Consciaur.

Within a few short minutes of traipsing through the forested expanse the group had lost visual on the beautiful castle amidst the swaying, groaning trees; each trunk of bark masterfully filigreed with kaleidoscopic hoar.

The forest floor was utterly dominated by a dendric carpet of spreading surficial roots, gnarled and tangled like headphones in a pocket, promising malicious intent to trip anyone not craning their necks to watch where their boots landed.

Audette was so busy minding her footing that she bore no warning when Theodore Nott crept up on her with his arms held in perfect composure behind his back like a wispy prince of darkness, his rich blueberry eyes digesting her very clutzy and unnatural stomping, "Audette, you seem to be navigating with...circumstantial grace...all things considered. How are you doing today?"

He'd been playfully flirting with her for some time that year, and his tormented beauty had begun monopolizing her thoughts in a transcendental manner. So much so that Audette uncontrollably blushed pink in the cheeks even passing the handsome, intellectual boy in the packed corridors.

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His philosophical mind was a maze with no limit, and she was lost in it.

She chewed on her lip, yanking her hand mittens anxiously, "Well, truthfully I'm cold and unimpressed by this unnecessary exposure to the elements. Something as trivial as Golden Snidgets could have been caged for classroom speculation, surely."

Theo smiled gently, his eyes raising to travel along the veiny branches above their heads where in the warmer months a thick canopy typically blotted out all light, "Your disdain is verifiable. Certainly in the Bellarose Biome you've already witnessed just about any creature this dunce may have to present in the wilderness."

When he looked at her again his oceanic eyes had taken on a new depth, glistening and intense, "Audette there is something I wish to ask you, and it trembles my heart considerably."

Audette's own heart fell clean out her butt.

At this point she was not only beginning to understand her desire for the opposite sex, but also the way that her body reacted to boys in general. And it reacted - so it conveniently seemed - by twisting her tummy as if she'd swallowed a serrated blender.

The very idea of nervously pressing her lips against a boy's was brand new; like a present in it's original wrapping with a bow smack on top - thrilling, factory scented, and sensationally experiential.

She'd guiltily indulged in late night imaginations of kissing Theo after he'd so bravely sent poems and trinkets for weeks on end without a single person's heed other than the two of them.

Theodore Nott left Audette in all shades of pink.

An action so trite as even a wink from the noble and presentable boy with rainy, navy eyes and copious locks of thick brown hair was enough to melt her fluttering, kiddish heart - wishing he would progress his advances at a more rapid pace.

At that time unfortunately, all of the Slytherin boys had begun to assemble together like an impenetrable pack of salivating wolves, and it was no wonder that girls tended to wait for one to chase them down then dare approach the group organism.

That day though in the polar landscape Theo did just that, placing a hand on her shoulder to draw her aside as the rest of the students began to congregate into a tighter circle around Hagrid, who was now pointing a sausage sized index finger at the highest branches of a spindly Scots pine.

He gestured to the unmistakable clustering of neon yellow birds in the tree limbs above, each flickering their wings with aesthetic breeze, "Golden...Snidgets...what a rarity. C',mon then, oi asked ar seekers 'ere to bring their brooms fer a reason. Can any a you's guess why? Les see 'ow many yous can catch, jus like the good ol' days when we use to use these 'ere birds instead of snitches."

Several students raised their eyebrows wearily up at the puff balls of bright feathers flitting supersonically between the evergreen branches.

The reason for inviting the Gryffindor and Slytherin seekers was blatantly apparent. Unfortunately, both the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff seekers were older and not present in the exact same class, so it was guaranteed to be a highly competitive and unfriendly affair of chasing the birds down.

Harry Potter seemed to have already arrived at this conclusion.

He was actively glaring at Draco, who was sporting a taunting expression while balancing his chin on top of his gloves at the pin point of his flashy broomstick.

Harry pushed his glasses back up his nose which had begun to fog and showcase all of the sticky fingerprints he'd been depositing on the panes, "Hagrid, perhaps we'd better take turns."

"Shaking in your generic brand knickers Potter?" Draco dropped his hands and swung his broomstick around like a sword, just narrowly missing clotheslining a Ravenclaw boy who was foolishly standing too close to the noxious boy.

A large half moon gap of wizened students had formed behind him, all of whom knew better than to hover within his proximity after a rather dramatic semester in which Draco did everything possible to make a jest out of Hagrid's classes.

"Now, now, thas enough attitude outta you, Malfoy," Hagrid shook his burly beard warningly.

Draco ignored the cautionary issuance, instead stepping towards a hardening Harry Potter, his glacial eyes narrow and cruel, "What's the matter? Rather have a staring contest with a cockatrice than prove to all of these spectators that I'm the better flyer?"

Unfortunately it was not a contest.

While Harry Potter did arrogantly believe he was the better flyer, Draco Malfoy had been flying on his private estate since he was capable of speech, and not only this but he was naturally inclined.

"At least a cockatrice would be easier on the eyes. You're on then," Harry narrowed his viridian eyes right back.

The only two people not holding their breaths in dread of the ill-advised activity - or paying attention at all for that matter - was a bashful Audette staring up at Theodore Nott who had just taken her hand in his while his best friend was distracted.

He eyed down her glove, playing with the silk bow on the back of it. Only for a split second did he flicker his eyes sideways to the growing tension under the pine tree before back again, "Do you have anyone in mind yet for this Yule ball? Does your delicate heart belong to a lucky boy as of yet?"

"No," Audette innocently hushed, her heart rate picking up pace like a turbine engine gaining momentum.

Well.

No. No, don't be preposterous, she thought dismissively.

She may or may not have had a tiny crush on the untouchable Draco Malfoy at the time, but her instincts had all warned her against it. He was as pretty as an angel on the outside, and Audette sometimes woke up from day dreaming in his direction during classes, but he was not giving off romantic vibes.

In fact, he was distinguished by his unrelenting nastiness, locking first year students into broom closets and shooting explosive spells at poor people just trying to eat bowls of soup in the Great Hall.

Well...her mind jabbed again, but Audette's heart flooded with embarrassment for even considering the notion, and proceeded to trample the thought into oblivion as if it were a towel on fire.

A silly image of ten or so micro Audette's running around in the control room of her brain, putting out flames of romantic qualm to the sound of a repeating alarm, almost caused her to nervously laugh in Theodore's face as a brain-wide meltdown occurred.

She was the type to laugh at a funeral because her skin was crawling. She was the type to laugh in Snape's face when she was in trouble only to make matters worse. She laughed when she really should not laugh, and the habit was appalling and tormentingly irreparable.

With only a small squiggle of her lower lip Audette managed to suppress the misappropriated urge.

Nope. No one else.

Theodore met her gaze with perfect control, analyzing her hesitant, quirky contemplation, although a wonderful smile was beginning to tug at his features. He twisted a thick strand of her hair in his finger dotingly, "If you're certain there is no one else in your mind's eye, I'd respectfully like to ask your hand to the ball. I find a delightful charm in your dignified presentation. I'm sensationally fond of you, Miss Bellarose. You are as striking and redolent as apple blossoms in spring, and I would only ever treat you with gentlemanly grace...if you will have me."

"Oh yes, yes, there's no one else," Audette bounced on the spot giddily, leaning far into his chest with big green eyes eagerly caught on his stormy blue ones. No one had ever spoken to her with such cavalier rhetoric, and she was falling for it like a boulder down a mountain.

Suddenly so relieved by the disambiguated circumstances, she failed to notice the two seekers had taken off above, scattering the Golden Snidgets out of the barren tree to chase the auriferous creatures down between rotund tree trunks. Competitive shouting ricocheted off of the wooded surroundings, the only indication of the whizzing boy's locations.

A slightly devious glint had instated itself in Theodore's imploring gaze as he wrapped his arms around Audette in return, "Wear blue, so that we might match."

"Oh, alright," she purred sycophantly, in a sugary voice that did not naturally belong to her. If he'd asked her to wear a brown paper bag she would've shown up in just that with a bunch of matching twigs in her hair to top it off - but the truth of the matter was Audette had wanted to wear gold.

Pushing onto her tip-toes she mustered the courage to do the most brave thing she'd ever done up until that point, tangling her little mitts in his jacket on either side. She kissed him point blank, and he kissed her back - one long and devastatingly swooning peck that left her spine arching at the base and her tummy buzzing.

Her first kiss. His first kiss. The perfection was penultimate.

There's no one else, no one else...

But that was a blatant lie...

There was someone else.

A deeply private and misunderstood platinum haired hector who had already labelled Audette as the girl of his dreams, and who had grown to assign rare trust to Theodore Nott as a best friend.

Lies it seemed, were the theme of the year.