Kotallo tracked Aloy as far as he could until he realised she had climbed mountains to escape the Embrace. He couldn’t do so on a Strider and rather than follow her exact trail, he marked the likeliest location for her to descend on the other side on the FOCUS map then galloped out of the Embrace via the main gates, following the path he and Beta had taken only a few hours earlier.

His fingers tightened on the cords of the Strider’s neck, his jaw tightening.

He had returned from escorting Beta to Mother’s Watch, which had taken longer than he wanted because he had to explain that Beta was not the Nora’s Anointed to some very confused tribesmen. Nakoa had been waiting for them and brought Beta to the Cradle, allowing Kotallo to turn around and hasten back to the cabin.

He had hoped his sense of foreboding was just born from paranoia but when he opened the door and discovered it was empty and Aloy’s bow and quiver were gone, Kotallo knew his instinct was right.

She was running.

And she hadn’t even left a note explaining herself and hadn’t taken her FOCUS.

His teeth ground together, his anger bubbling as he urged the Strider to go faster and faster, picking up Aloy’s trail on the far side of the mountains. It was dark and raining. Without the FOCUS, Kotallo would be blind.

Aloy would be the same.

For all her skill at tracking and hunting, without the FOCUS which she had come to depend on, Aloy would struggle out in the wild.

The Strider stomped down the embankment, sloshed through the river and climbed the other side, the purple marks of Aloy’s footsteps showing Kotallo which way to go. However, machine herds were plentiful outside the Embrace. There were Grazers, Scrappers, Longlegs and even Bellowbacks. While they were no longer aggressive, their bodies lit up bright blue in his FOCUS’ display. Kotallo couldn’t see much past them. He had to slow down and follow the footprints carefully so as not to lose sight of them.

He gasped and dismounted, spying something lying in the grass.

Aloy’s bow and a discarded arrow.

Kotallo picked them up, looping the bow over his shoulder. Something grunted nearby, three boars snuffling through the damp earth, unbothered by the rain which was turning the ground into slush. Kotallo stood and scanned the landscape, spying Aloy’s tracks which were no longer sure but erratic. He jogged after them, ducking his head, struggling to see past two Bellowbacks that were scratching in the earth.

Kotallo could feel panic trying to set in but pushed it into a box in his mind and closed the lid. He couldn’t afford emotion.

He had to find Aloy.

Then, as the Bellowbacks moved away, he saw a figure huddled against a ruin, head down, arms wrapped around her legs. Kotallo ducked his head beneath tree branches, trying to ignore the squelch of his boots. He stepped on a twig and it snapped loudly. The figure cried out and scrambled backwards.

“Stay back!”

“Ally, it’s Kotallo.” He hurried towards her and knelt.

Ally’s big green eyes were made even wider with fright. She gave a whimper and threw her arms around his neck, sobbing.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I don’t know what I’m doing here!”

Kotallo helped her out of the ruins to where the Strider waited. He picked her up in his arms and rode back to the Embrace. Ally held on so tightly her fingers pinched but Kotallo refused to complain. She was shaking, almost insensible because of the fear and adrenaline that had flooded her body.

The summer storm soaked everything within an hour then moved on to dump copious amounts of rainwater elsewhere. By the time they reached the Embrace, the clouds had moved aside to allow starlight to be seen. There were puddles everywhere and the air was thick with the scent of wet earth but if not for that, it would be hard to imagine it had rained so heavily at all.

Kotallo rode the Strider all the way up to Rost’s cabin. He dismounted then helped Ally to slide off, carrying her inside.

“Change before you become sick.” He said, pointing to the new clothes Tomas had made her. He turned his back and hunted through his own new clothes. A pair of trousers that one simply pulled on and pulled the drawstring tight to keep them up were his easiest choice. Rost had fixed a curtain around the single bed where Aloy had slept when growing up so that she could have privacy. Kotallo used it to change and removed his artificial arm, emerging bare foot and chested to see Ally in something called a sleep shirt. She sat cross legged on the bed, her face as pale as death and her wet hair hanging limply around her head. “Have something to eat.” He offered her some bread.

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She held it in her hands, staring at the lump he’d baked that morning. Kotallo was still attempting to perfect the art of making bread like the Utaru did.

He suspected its misshapen form was not the reason for her tears but rather, what it represented…what she’d lost.

Big, salty drops trickled down her face, collecting at her chin then dripping onto her shirt. Ally sobbed, dropping the bread and putting her hands to her face.

Kotallo knew the signs. She wasn’t coping. She was descending into hysteria. All the calming techniques were useless in the face of overwhelming inevitability.

“I can’t do this!” She wept. “I can’t live this life! I want to die! I hate this! I don’t want to be here…Joshua…where are you?” Kotallo knelt in front of her, her legs sliding off the bed so she could lean forward. “Kotallo…please…please make it go away.”

“Ally…”

Her eyes found him, red rimmed and frightened. “Please,” she rasped, “please…I want to go away…please…”

Kotallo closed his eyes and nodded. His fingers plucked his FOCUS from his temple and he reached out to attach it to hers. Ally held her breath, shaking hard as he tapped it…

…and suddenly Aloy blinked, inches from his face, shaking with no idea why. Kotallo removed the FOCUS and put it back on his temple. Aloy’s eyes narrowed, recognising the action. She sat up and Kotallo shifted onto his haunches, knowing he was in her personal space. He watched as she looked around, disgust and frustration on her features.

“Not one night…” She muttered. “She couldn’t survive one damn night…”

Kotallo stood up, his boxed anger squeezing out from beneath the lid.

“What do you expect?” He asked tightly. “You left without word, were in the ruins at night…surrounded by machines…” His mouth turned down. “How could have been so foolish?”

“I didn’t take my FOCUS and I was careful to avoid machine herds.” Aloy argued. “There was no reason for the shift! I wasn’t doing anything wrong!”

“You were in the vicinity of a Tallneck! Its signal is far reaching! Or it could have just been the simple act of going to use your FOCUS, even if it’s not there, that triggered it! We don’t know the reasons why the shifts happen at times. What were you thinking?”

Aloy lifted her chin. “I don’t answer to you.” She retorted.

Kotallo turned his back, nearly three months of care, fears, frustration and endless responsibility catching up with him. “Do you know where I found her?” He asked, his tone brittle. “Cowering in a hole, soaked to the bone, hopelessly lost…”

“She can’t control my life!” Aloy cried.

“She’s an innocent that you left out in the wilds!” Kotallo roared and she recoiled, surprised by the intensity of his anger. “What the Nora did to you as a babe, exiling you for no damn good reason, you did to Ally!”

Aloy swallowed, the hateful comparison deflating some of her frustration.

“Are you more concerned about Ally or me?” She asked defensively.

Kotallo closed his eyes, his fingers pressed to his nose. “Can’t you understand,” he whispered, “what happens to her happens to you?” Aloy clamped her teeth together and looked aside. “It could have been days before you shifted back into you,” he shivered, “she could have been starving, struck by an ignorant Bellowback…sick from exposure…”

“She’d survive.” Aloy muttered. “I did.”

Kotallo stared at her. “Not everything you can recover from.”

“Like what?” She snapped.

He swallowed. “I found her…on the edge of the precipice out back of the cabin…she was ready to jump.” The blood drained out of Aloy’s face, her freckles becoming stark against the pallor of her skin. Kotallo shook his head. “I told her if she died, she’d be killing you too. Ally promised she’d never do it again…she’s trying her best.” He knelt again before her and could feel her draw back from him. “Aloy, you need to do the same.”

“It’s my life!” Aloy snarled.

“If she could, she’d give it back to you,” Kotallo urged, “but she can’t. She’s trying but you have to give her a chance, Aloy. She can’t learn all that you know in a matter of months.” Aloy looked aside. Kotallo risked putting his hand on hers. “Aloy, promise me you won’t do anything like this again.”

She looked down at his large hand, his fingers wrapped around hers and her heart ached.

“I’ll promise,” she whispered, “but under one condition.”

“Which is?” Kotallo’s heart recoiled in his chest as she looked at him, as cold as the Cut in winter.

“You leave and don’t come back.”

They stared at each other.

Aloy’s jaw was firm and her eyes were unwavering.

Kotallo swallowed, his hand drawing back.

“Leave?”

“I can’t…do this…with you here.” Aloy’s throat was tight. She had to force the words out. “I can’t…every time I look at you I think…you’re stuck here with me…forever. And not just me…I’m not me anymore…”

“Aloy…”

“No, I’m not. I’m half a person!” Aloy’s breathing sharpened. She breathed to calm herself down. “I feel so guilty all of the time, knowing what you’re doing to look after me…”

“I don’t regret being here.” Kotallo insisted.

“Kotallo, what we had…we can’t have again.” Aloy whispered. “Don’t you see? You can’t stay here forever. I can’t handle seeing you, knowing you could have a life…but that you’re obligated to me…”

“Aloy, I swear…”

“It’s my condition,” Aloy folded her arms, “I won’t put Ally in danger…as long as you leave.”

Kotallo stared at her, his pale blue eyes drilling into her green ones. Aloy’s jaw was so tight she thought she might snap.

Slowly he stood up and silently gathered his belongings into his swag, tucking his artificial arm inside securely. Aloy looked aside as he pulled on his damp boots and an open shirt then picked up his swag. He walked to the door and turned back to her.

“Take care of yourself, Aloy,” he pleaded softly, “both of you.”

Aloy nodded, not meeting his gaze. He walked out of the cabin and closed the door behind himself, his boots thumping down the steps and across the ground, fading into the night. Aloy pressed her lips together, her hands grasping the edge of the bed. She stared at the boards of the cabin floor for a long time, sure any moment now she would hear him return to argue or be near the cabin…

…but it was silent.

There were a few chirping crickets singing to each other now that the rain had passed.

Yet there was nothing else.

Kotallo was gone.