The Nora Hunting Grounds, which had existed outside of the Embrace, had been abandoned when Nemesis’ machines scoured the land and burnt the building on top of the small hill to the ground. There was still a path able to be followed to the Embrace and the scorched hilltop had been designated the landing site for flying machines.
The Stormbird alighted on the hill, folding its wings in.
“Thank you, Heph.” Beta patted the Stormbird. While it wasn’t directly Hephaestus, she knew he would hear her message.
“Beta,” Kotallo called and she looked down at him on the ground, astride a Strider with another standing next to him, “you’re travelling alone?”
“It was about time I flew on the Wings of the Ten.” She said. “Did I say that right?”
“Just like a Tenakth.” Kotallo nodded. He looked well enough, his hard Tenakth armour swapped for softer clothing. It was possible it was a reflection of the change in his life or perhaps he was trying to look less like an outsider to the Nora. His inking still remained but a great deal of the paint which designated him as a Marshal of the Tenakth, white, blue and yellow, had washed or flaked away. “Is there trouble?”
“Trouble?” Beta frowned. She was expecting there to be trouble with him, not the other way around.
“Why else would you have flown here on your own?”
“Oh,” Beta nodded, Kotallo’s concern quite valid, “no. No trouble. I brought supplies.” A step ladder was one of the modifications made to Stormbirds designated to transportation. Beta unhooked the cargo parcels. “I’m glad you’ve got Striders,” she called, “I didn’t think about carrying it into the Embrace but there really is too much just for the two of us.”
“Drop them and I’ll catch.” Kotallo helped unload the Stormbird then Beta clambered down. Between them they hitched the cargo parcels to the Striders. Kotallo pulled on the straps, making sure they were secure. “An inexperienced traveller coming so far on her own…is just bringing supplies?” He asked pointedly.
“With Heph travel is so much safer,” Beta blurted and Kotallo eyed her dryly, not buying her excuse, “and I have a list of technical issues within the Cradle facility.”
“So the supplies are for the Cradle?”
“Some,” Beta ducked beneath the Striders’ head, coming up on Kotallo’s side of the machine, “others were sent specifically for you.”
They linked the Striders to their FOCUSES and the machines automatically followed them as they walked down the slope, across a shallow stream and left towards the large wooden fence that separated the Embrace from the rest of the world.
“Supplies for me?” Kotallo asked as they followed the path which was guided by the river and came upon the bridge that led into the Embrace.
“Tomas sent his small bio matrix printer. Heph takes care of our production needs and we know how isolated the Embrace is.”
But was it isolated enough to justify the reason for his silence?
“How are things back at base?”
Beta sighed. “Chaotic and revolutionary. We’re trying to reach fragmented tribes and humans across the world, convince them to stop hunting machines and be educated…it’s slow work and the world is a big place.”
“You have come to a small but significant portion of it,” Kotallo led her through the giant gates to the top of the rise which looked over the valley, “welcome to the Embrace.”
It was a valley almost always in the grip of autumn. Bright sunshine, an ever present cool breeze and amber hued leaves. It was littered with boulders and surrounded by mountains, a large river flowing through its expanse with small stream off shoots threading their way around the Embrace.
“This is where Aloy grew up?” Beta breathed, feeling the touch of a fallen leaf, holding it preciously. “It’s beautiful!” Her green eyes surveyed the land and she pointed to where lines were marked in the earth. “I see the Utaru’s farming lessons were not wasted on Teb and Nakoa.”
“Cultivating the land has been held in tension with maintaining something of the wild beauty of the valley.” Kotallo walked down the slope and they headed right, a small lake on their left where the settlement, Mother’s Cradle, sat beside the cultivated land. “Even I have begun my own garden just as my parents once did.”
Beta glanced at him, noting that he seemed much more at peace than she was expecting. “You do seem at home here…more so than in the base if I’m honest.” Kotallo’s smile was small. “So…how are you?”
“How am I?” His eyes narrowed. “Is that really the question you wanted to ask after travelling so far east?”
Beta swallowed and looked away from his cool blue gaze.
“Alright,” she took a breath, “how is she?” Kotallo shook his head. “We haven’t heard anything from you for weeks.” Beta insisted. “Teb sends through reports and said you go to Mother’s Cradle to trade…but it’s as though you’ve cut yourself off from us.”
“I apologise that my actions have worried you.” Kotallo looked at her and she was struck at the pain in his face. “It has been…difficult.”
Beta was taken aback by the unguarded emotion. She walked beside him, her anger with him dissipating and sympathy growing. “You know we’re all so grateful you volunteered to do this. I’m not sure I could.” Beta admitted quietly. “Forget being able to provide and care for her…just seeing her that way…screaming in a corner, banging her head.” The memories had given her nightmares for weeks, Aloy curled up in a ball, sobbing uncontrollably, scratching at herself and drawing blood. “Aloy has always been so stable emotionally that watching her do that…shift between herself and this person called Ally then back again…countless times in one day…” She shuddered and sniffed, forcing the horror down. “One of the last reports Teb gave was that the shifts seemed to have settled down?”
“The move to the Embrace helped reduce the amount of personality shifts,” Kotallo looked at Beta sadly, “though she could still be Aloy or Ally a dozen times a day.”
“And it’s still a completely separate personality?” Beta asked. “She doesn’t remember being the other?”
“No. Her memories are isolated to the one who made them.”
They crossed over the river and turned sharply right, heading north.
“I wonder if we gave up too quickly,” Beta admitted, “perhaps if she’d spent more time in the rejuvenation capsule…”
“When you hear the greatest causes of the shift in personality, you will know why here is the best place for her and why I have dropped out of direct contact.” Kotallo paused on the road and turned to Beta, his expression deadly serious. “It seems Aloy’s shift to Ally and back again is caused by the signals sent via technology and devices. I observed that, despite reducing greatly in frequency, the shifts were still occurring.” He closed his eyes, his forehead creased with pain. “I realised whenever Aloy used her FOCUS, she would shift into Ally,” Beta’s skin crawled as he continued, “and for Ally, even a close encounter with my FOCUS could cause her to shift back.” He took his FOCUS off and stared at it. “After much debate…Aloy surrendered her FOCUS.”
“Wait,” Beta stopped him as he went to keep walking, “Aloy…can’t wear a FOCUS?”
Kotallo shook his head. “Not without triggering a shift.”
Horror soaked into every pore in Beta’s body. “She…she can’t…that’s unfathomable! Without a FOCUS, Aloy can’t go into the Cradle facility and learn from the APOLLO database,” Beta ranted as they continued to walk, “she can’t communicate beyond face to face interaction…she’s stuck in the primitive era she was born into!”
“I suspect it was Nemesis’ cruellest blow. It must have known there was no escape from oblivion…but it could ensure its revenge would keep the one who saved so many lives from experiencing all that the future now has to offer.”
All the beauty of the world seemed to fade. Beta felt faded as well. “Do you think,” she trembled at the thought, “that the damage is permanent?”
“You mean, will she always be split between two personalities?” Beta nodded and Kotallo shrugged. “I cannot answer that with any certainty. Even without devices sending out signals to trigger shifts, Aloy can go to sleep at night and wake up as Ally. The signals only increase the frequency.”
“So she tends to stay as whoever she wakes us?”
Kotallo nodded. “But even that is a risk. Aloy might go out hunting and shift into Ally, lost and without the skills to look after herself.” He huffed. “Aloy is frustrated at being so constrained. I have been attempting to teach Ally how to live in this world but that has not been an easy task.”
They passed a sign that indicated they were heading to Mother’s Heart where all the matriarchs tended to reside. The ground was rocky and hard, coarse grasses and trees were scattered about the landscape and around large outcrops. There were machine herds in the Embrace but they were quiet and docile, doing the task they were originally designed for.
“She…Ally, doesn’t want to learn?” Beta asked, puzzled.
“It is more that there have been other challenges to overcome first.”
“Such as?”
“Convincing her that this world is real,” Kotallo looked at Beta, “she suffered weeks of paranoia and mental breakdown, hurting herself…trying to escape this reality.”
“That’s what she was doing?” The sight of Aloy trying to harm herself made Beta sick to her stomach. “Trying to die?”
“Or wake up from this world.”
“Oh…” Beta stopped, her eyes wide. “When I saved her on the Odyssey from the Sylens zombie, she acted like she didn’t know what she was doing and…something about a mature audience rating…I thought she was disorientated from the psychotropic bioagents Nemesis flooded her with.”
Kotallo shook his head. “Ally is from a point in history where there are, and I hope you understand this better than I, deep dive…full immersion…RPG games.” He said slowly, trying to manage the quotation. From Beta’s expression, despite not truly understanding what he was saying, she comprehended it immediately.
“No wonder she thinks this isn’t real.” Beta breathed.
“It gets worse.” They turned left at a less used path, away from Mother’s Heart and up a sharp slope. It was a steady incline and put a burn in Beta’s calves before she’d reached the first natural stopping point. “Ally was the primary writer for an incredibly popular game series.”
“I hate to ask…”
“It was called ‘Horizon’ with the first game, ‘Zero Dawn’ then ‘Forbidden West’ and finally…”
“Nemesis?” Beta shivered at Kotallo’s nod. “I don’t envy you, Kotallo. You’ve got your work cut out for you.”
“Any hardships I face pale compared to Ally’s trauma. She has lost family and friends, woken in a primitive world which she thinks is a delusion and, when she can be convinced it is not, suffers overwhelming guilt that she is somehow to blame for its current state because she wrote it.”
They reached the last sharp rise which was like a little cliff. Beta could see that Kotallo had built a set of steps so that it didn’t need to be climbed and the Striders could reach the final stretch before a fence and the cabin that lay beyond. It was summer and the snow that usually blanketed the mountains so high up had melted away. Trees were in full bloom, leaves thick and green and Beta could see Kotallo’s garden within the fence line. The cabin was a sturdy building with a veranda that had a beautiful view of the valley.
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To Beta it looked idyllic and peaceful.
“Beta, I should warn you,” Kotallo paused her walk and she gazed at him, “it was Ally, not Aloy, who woke this morning.”
Beta nodded, disappointed she wouldn’t get to speak with Aloy but determined not to let Ally know. They left the Striders outside the fence and headed in together. Ally was at the large campfire which sat out in the open, fussing with the wood, a tiny trickle of smoke coming out from beneath.
“Ugh…stupid…why won’t it…” She heard their footsteps and stood up, pushing her red hair back. “Beta! What a nice surprise.”
It was so strange to hear Ally speak. Aloy had a distinctive manner, decisive and controlled. Ally was stammering and unsure. Even the way she stood, her mannerisms, were very different.
“Is it?” Beta asked. “I wasn’t sure how you would feel…because of everything…”
Ally looked at her feet and nodded. “I can appreciate that but I’m doing better…most days…” Her tone was unconvinced and she looked at the campfire. “Except I can’t get the hang of lighting a fire. Kotallo, I’m sorry…I tried but it won’t take.”
Kotallo walked towards her and Beta marvelled that the once intimidating, sullen Tenakth Marshal could have developed such a warm, personable atmosphere.
“Why don’t you and Beta take the supplies inside. I’ll get the fire going.”
Ally nodded and followed Beta to the Striders. She moved around the machines nervously and without a hint of her usual confidence. Beta unstrapped the cargo parcels. They took one smaller ones in their outer hands and carried the larger case between them.
There was no breath left to speak with as they lugged them up the slope to the steps of the cabin. It was awkward getting through the door into the confines of the single roomed space and it was quite dim inside compared to the brightness of the Embrace soaked in afternoon sun. Beta peered around, able to make out two beds, one at the back of the cabin and one to the side. On the left of the cabin was a kitchen with a bucket for a sink and fresh produce either hanging from hooks on the wall or filling the crates on the floor.
“He’s been so patient with me…” Beta blinked and turned to see Ally gazing out of the open door to where Kotallo was repairing her campfire debacle. “I’m sure Tenakth can light a fire before they can walk…”
“I found the primitiveness of my surroundings hard to acclimatise to as well.” Beta insisted and Ally gave her a grateful look. “Hopefully some of these supplies will help.” She knelt and opened one of the smaller cases and held out a pouch. Ally took it and lifted the lid.
“Toothbrushes!” She gasped. “Toothpaste! Hygiene products!” Ally clutched them tightly. “So simple yet so missed. Is that…a bed mat?”
“Tomas promised me that, when you roll it out, it puffs up with air and becomes a proper mattress.” Beta laughed at the weedy looking mat bound with straps. “Hephaestus built a larger and more efficient printer matrix for him which is taking care of a lot of the supply issues at base. It still needs materials to convert but with the Plowhorns helping to accelerate growth, we had enough cotton harvested to make bedding as well.”
Ally held the folded fabric up and sniffed it deeply. “Bedding that doesn’t smell like a dead animal or feel like I’m sleeping on a forest floor…” She wiped tears away.
Beta was both delighted and unsettled by the display of emotion. That Ally was happy was a relief…but to see Aloy cry was extremely rare.
“Why don’t we put this all on your bed?”
They couldn’t remove the old mattress as it was part of the bed base but the new mattress sat on top, already puffing up to its fullness, free of the strap constraints. Between them it was a simple matter to tuck the fitted sheet around it, lay the flat sheet on top then wrestle the doona into the cover. Two pillows with covers were all that remained and they stepped back and admired their handiwork.
“It looks like a proper bed.” Ally’s voice trembled with relief.
“Tomas made you some clothes.” Beta opened the second smaller case. “For both you and Kotallo. Shoes as well. We didn’t know your style…”
Ally held up a pair of wide leg pants and studied them sadly.
“These look like something Hannah would wear…” Her arms dropped, the joy in her face replaced with grief. Beta watched as she sank onto the bed, staring at the pants.
“You must miss them.” She whispered.
“I do,” Ally licked her lips, her jaw quivering, “one…in particular…” She set the pants down, folding them carefully into a neat parcel. “I finally fall in love with the best, kindest, strongest, most decent man in the world…and now I’m trapped here in clothes that fall off if you don’t do the ties right, smoking campfires, bedding that stinks,” her tone was rising and her hands tightened into fists, “and I’ve got to kill my food, skin and gut it before I can eat it!”
She kicked the cargo parcel, the lid closing with a bang, turned her back on Beta and put her hands over her head. Beta stared at her, frozen with fear that she was going to have another debilitating descent into self harm and madness.
“Breathe…just breathe…centre yourself…breathe…”
It took several long minutes before Ally’s shoulders stopped shaking. Beta swallowed, wishing she knew what to say.
“I’m sorry.” She blurted. “I…in a small way I understand your struggles. I had them too. But while I found a family and friends, you lost it and I can’t imagine…”
“Imagine…is that all I am? A fictional character who thinks she’s real?” Ally’s voice was hollow and broken.
“You think you’re real,” Beta heard herself saying, “and you are. You’re certainly not Aloy…”
“I’m not sure I am,” Ally turned and sank onto the bed again, “real, I mean.” Beta sat on the small case as Ally leaned forward. “I…don’t think I’ll ever be able to say without doubt that I’m not real…but I’m starting to question everything.”
“That’s only natural…”
“And I’m missing some really obvious answers.” Ally continued, cutting Beta off.
“Like what?”
“Like…what I did on my birthday.”
Beta blinked. “Which one?”
“Any of them,” Ally shrugged, “all of them! Granted most might become a blur but…my eighteenth? My twenty first? There’s no way Hannah would let me go by without a celebration of some kind. I…I don’t even remember what date it’s on. And what about Christmas? How did my family celebrate it? Did we celebrate it? I don’t even know what schools I went to.” She shivered. “I thought the fog of my memories was because I was confused about being here. But now, when I blow away the fog…there’s nothing.”
Beta studied her blank expression. She could see Ally’s exhaustion, fighting against oblivion of self in the face of overwhelming information…or lack thereof.
“Nemesis made sure your memories were strong…but only the ones that connected to circumstance. It didn’t worry about long term details.” Beta saw Ally wasn’t entirely listening, her brow furrowed, her gaze a million miles, and another reality, away. Before she could speak Ally sniffed and stood up, shaking off the melancholia that was trying to overwhelm her.
“Why don’t we unpack the rest of the gear?” She opened the largest case and stared at the contents. “What’s this?”
“That’s Tomas’ little bio matrix printer,” Beta patted it, “it’ll mean you never run out of toothpaste as long as you can find the right materials to make it.”
“And that?”
Beta lifted it out of the case. “This is Silga’s solution to the blackout nature of this area. It’s a signal booster,” she frowned and shook her head, “but we didn’t know that the signals triggered personality shifts…” She went to put it back in the case but Ally stopped her.
“This booster will allow Kotallo to talk with the base? His friends?”
“If he’s wearing his FOCUS.”
“Then we need to set it up.” Ally’s voice, once wavering, became firm. “It’s hard enough that he’s given up his life to look after me. He shouldn’t be isolated.”
Beta faltered, not sure what to do. Footsteps approached and Kotallo’s frame entered the cabin, ducking to avoid the low beam.
“I got the fire going.” He looked at Ally. “The wood was damp. That’s why it didn’t catch alight and who shouldn’t be isolated?”
Beta tried to figure out a way to avoid the question but Ally faced Kotallo. “Beta brought a signal booster so that you can talk to base.”
Kotallo’s concern was easily read across his features. “Won’t that…”
“What if we set it up away from the cabin?” Ally turned to Beta. “Maybe that would help?”
“You did say being in proximity with your FOCUS can trigger shifts,” Beta admitted, “perhaps if the booster is far enough away…”
Kotallo looked unconvinced. Ally took the heavy rod as if to show she wasn’t afraid of it. “At the very least we should try it.” She insisted. “If I start shifting back and forth…deactivate it.”
“I suppose…” He frowned. “Where does it need to be?”
“A high point that’s readily reachable but not too close.”
“Out the back of the cabin, through the gap in the fence, there’s a rise.” Kotallo pointed. “Do you require help?”
Beta shook her head. “I think we can manage but I will take your FOCUS to connect to it so that yours and yours alone will receive signal from it. I don’t know if that will help but it might.”
Kotallo handed over his FOCUS. “I’m going to chop wood for the fire.”
Between Beta and Ally they were able to carry the signal booster out of the cabin’s perimeter then to the right, clambering up the rise, through the brush and grass that was happily growing now that the snow had all melted. From their position they could see into a valley that snaked around below them. It was a long way down. They found a place where the roof of the cabin was still visible but was a small walk to reach.
“This should be far enough.” Beta puffed. “It’s a nice view!”
“They’re all beautiful. Joshua would have loved it…” Ally’s words faded and she shook her head. “How do we stick it in the ground?”
“Silga said I put the spiked end on the stone,” Beta and Ally held it straight, “then I press this button and…” They both jumped as there was a sudden strong movement and the spike shot out small arms that grabbed the ground then drove itself into the stone. “Something like that.” Beta pushed on it but the rod was firm. “I think it’ll cope with the winds up this high…”
“Might get covered in snow in winter though…” Ally peered at the device on top. “Is it on?”
“Not yet. I’ve got to power it up…and then I take Kotallo’s FOCUS,” Beta took hers off and put his on, tapping the display and seeing a new signal received notification, “and link it to the booster…and send a test signal…success. It works!” Beta jumped out of her skin as Ally gasped loudly and half threw herself backwards, stumbling over her own feet, putting distance between herself and the edge of the ravine. “Ally? What is it?” Ally leaned over, breathing sharply. Beta put her hand on her shoulder. “Ally?”
“It’s Aloy,” she lifted her gaze, her pale green eyes meeting Beta’s, “hi Beta…”
“Aloy…” Beta wrapped her arms around her.
“What is that?” Aloy pointed at the signal booster. Beta was stunned that only a moment earlier, Ally had known exactly what it was and what it did.
“It’s a device to solve the blackout zone problem of your position in the Embrace.”
“Oh…” Aloy swallowed. “Do you think we could continue this inside?”
Her eyes looked at the deep drop of the valley and she trembled.
“I didn’t think you were afraid of heights?”
“I’m not,” Aloy shivered, striding through the brush to reach the fence, “but when I closed my eyes last night I was in bed…the next I know I’m standing on top of a cliff face, about two feet from its edge.”
“I’m sorry,” Beta followed her hasty retreat, “it must have been the activation signal that triggered the shift…”
“Been talking to Kotallo, have you?” Aloy asked as they entered the cabin.
“He…mentioned it.” Beta admitted, sensing she had stepped onto a taboo subject.
Aloy put her hands on her hips and tilted her head back. Beta waited, not sure what Aloy was thinking. She turned around to speak but her eyes spotted the newly made bed.
“What on earth is that?”
“Uh…bedlinen. Tomas made it.” Aloy stared at it. She didn’t look pleased. Beta and Ally had folded and stacked the clothes on the end of the bed. Aloy fingered the edges of the fabric. “He thought…you might like some clothing…”
“You mean he thought Ally might like some clothing…” Aloy’s jaw was tight. “I bet she couldn’t wait to change everything from the primitive, smelly, coarse…”
“She doesn’t mean any harm,” Beta urged weakly, “she’s…”
“She’s what, Beta?” Aloy spun around and glared at her. “Ally is what? Scared? Vulnerable? Naïve? Has to be babied because she couldn’t survive one day out there?”
“It’s not her fault. She didn’t grow up like you did.”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” Aloy snapped, “excuse me for not falling over myself to accommodate someone who takes over my body at least fifty percent of the time! That I’m not more understanding that she doesn’t know how to tie my boots on correctly or that the smell of raw meat makes her nauseated…or that she can’t even light a fire! It’s my life, she’s taken!” Beta stared at Aloy, unable to refute what she was saying. Aloy closed her eyes and shook her head. “I can’t do anything without considering her first! What does Ally need? What does Ally want? Screw her!” Aloy snarled. “Because of her, I can’t even wear a FOCUS! I don’t even feel like me anymore!”
She was shaking, not crying, her hands curled into fists and her anger at breaking point. Beta stepped backwards, not sure how to handle outraged Aloy. But her fear seemed to mitigate Aloy’s rage more than any placation or entreaty. She saw her sister’s uncertainty and unclenched her hands, swallowing down the emotion that nearly blinded her.
“Beta…I’m sorry…”
“I’m sorry too,” Beta whispered, “I keep thinking, if I had gotten there a little sooner…”
“That you got up to the Odyssey at all is a miracle,” Aloy sighed, “one that I have yet to tick Tomas off for.”
“You’re the one who deserves being ticked off,” Beta retorted, “using Alpha clearance to cause Gaia to lie?”
Aloy reddened. “I…I knew you wouldn’t let me go if the true odds of my survival were made known.”
“I can’t deny that.” Beta shrugged. “But you can hardly berate Tomas and myself for our actions when yours weren’t exactly above board.”
Aloy folded her arms, walked to the window and looked out. For a time Beta thought she was going to be sullen and stubborn but after a pause she glanced back at her. “I suppose not…”
“By rights you should be dead,” Beta added, “Tomas told me he had the trigger for the mines in his FOCUS. He would have detonated them if he had to. Nemesis was never going to survive the plan.” She walked up beside her, their bodies physically identical to each other. “Ally is Nemesis creation…but she was based on you. And she’s just as frustrated as you are.”
“I doubt that.” Aloy huffed.
“She lost friends and family…”
“That Kotallo tells me resemble many of the people I know,” Aloy argued, “she’s still got them. They just…look a little different.”
Beta pressed her lips together. “She doesn’t have the one she was in love with.” Aloy swallowed, her brow furrowed. “She…hasn’t mentioned him?”
“If she has, Kotallo hasn’t relayed it.” Aloy said quietly.
From their position at the window, they could see Kotallo chopping wood. He wore his artificial arm, able to swing the axe down with impressive force. The pile of splintered logs was increasing. His arms were bare, the paint almost all rubbed off and where there was human flesh, a little inking could be seen. His eyes were focussed on his task and unaware he was being stared at. Beta studied him then peeked at Aloy from the corner of her eye.
Aloy’s eyes were on Kotallo and the corners of her mouth were turned down.
“What about you and Kotallo?” Beta asked softly.
“There is no me and Kotallo.” Aloy replied bluntly, turning away and walking across the cabin.
“But…after the Zenith launch platform…when you kissed him…”
“I thought I was going to my death,” Aloy argued, “I figured I owed him an apology for ditching him in the first place. I…I shouldn’t have…I was just…”
“Scared?”
Aloy closed her eyes, neither confirming or denying it. “Beta, I’d love to hear about something other than myself,” she pointed to a stool and sat on the other one, “please, tell me what’s happening at the base. How is Hephaestus going? Does Gaia have everything under control?”