Three days later, Aloy was crossing the common room, noticing, not for the first time, how quiet it was now that the others had departed for their tribes, to outreach the message of Nemesis and the hope of the future. To her relief, Gaia had said nothing more about Aloy missing Kotallo and she hoped to put the ache in her chest behind herself.
And not just the ache of missing him.
The wretched physical need that had her dreaming such dreams she hadn’t even considered before. The one she had experienced only last night had left her panting in desire, sure Kotallo’s arm was around her, their bodies entwined, only to awaken and discover she was alone.
Something had woken within her, a discovery of physical elation and passionate fulfillment that now demanded to be satiated.
How anyone could have sex once and then go, no more thank you, was beyond Aloy.
Even if she could keep her mind occupied, her body grew restless and ached in places she hadn’t considered could ache so.
Aloy opened the door to the cooling unit and glared at the contents, as if they were somehow responsible for her awakened desire and then eyed the food, irritated in the knowledge that it wouldn’t satisfy her like Kotallo could.
Damn her inability to be strong!
If she had, she wouldn’t be thinking about him when she ought to be thinking about other things.
She wouldn’t be dreaming about him when she ought to be sleeping restfully.
She wouldn’t hear the blasted doors to the base open and look up, hoping it was he every single time, only to be disappointed when Sylens disapproving expression glaring where she wanted Kotallo’s eyes to burn.
“Rost did say, don’t go down that path,” she quoted in lament, “for it is the ultimate distraction.”
At the time, Aloy didn’t have a single friend, let alone someone she would want to be intimate with and any threat of ‘distraction’ from her pursuit of excellence so that she could win the proving was an effective one indeed.
And then there was always the urgency of the task at hand, the ‘world ending’ and ‘everything else comes second’ mentality she learned to live with.
But now, with others pursuing their tasks and Aloy stuck at base camp, her sparked libido causing her to climb the walls…
“For goodness sake, Aloy!” She snapped at herself upon the third perusal of the cooling unit. “Get it together! You are not an animal, governed by instinct!”
She slammed the door shut, turned and strode away from it, intending to head out of the east exit of the base to climb a mountain or do anything to burn off some of her demand.
However, she didn’t even make it to the door when Gaia’s voice spoke through her FOCUS.
“Aloy, if you have a moment?”
Aloy breathed in and out and touched her FOCUS, wondering if Gaia was going to ask her how she was again.
“I’m here. What do you need?”
“I just thought you would like to know that Sylens is at Tilda’s residence, a base for him to come and go from the Zenith launch tower and will not be back for days and Beta is currently with me, testing hypothetical scenarios capturing HAPHAESTUS and will be for at least two hours.”
Aloy frowned. “Okay…” She paused, waiting for Gaia to explain why she had just told her where everyone was and what they were doing and, when Gaia’s voice was inexplicably silent, Aloy opened her mouth to ask her herself…when the base’s western door opened.
Aloy leaned past the column that blocked her view as a solid figure strode in, smelling like earth, wind and rain, dropping their swag on the ground. Her breath caught in her chest as Kotallo looked up and saw her gaze, surprised to see her.
A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.
“Aloy,” he said almost formally, “I…Hekarro has a new mission for me and I wanted to speak to you in person about it before I…”
But his words were cut off as Aloy crossed the room in the blink of an eye, threw her arms around his neck and pressed her lips against his. There was only a split second of hesitation before Kotallo’s right arm, still made of flesh and blood, wrapped around her waist and forced any space or air between them out, his lips responding to herself with the same desperate need.
“Thank the Ten,” he rasped when they needed to breathe, “I had begun to think I imagined you and I…”
Aloy grasped his hand, her body raging out of control. “Let’s remind each other, shall we?”
It was frantic and hardly romantic and barely a word was spoken between them until it was over. Kotallo lifted his head, gazing at her tenderly. “I have missed you so much…”
“Me or this?” She asked in a lightly accusatory tone then saw his wounded expression. “No, that’s not fair…I was only wondering the same myself.”
Kotallo lifted his head, his eyes studying her from within his Tenakth painted countenance. “You are not sure?”
“No!” Aloy blurted instinctively then, realising what she had said hastened to add, “I mean, yes!” Kotallo’s eyes grew saddened and concerned and he sat up, drawing away from her. Aloy’s heart ached when she realised she had hurt him and she knelt behind him, wrapping her arms around his chest, her lips close to his ear. “I…I have wanted you…this part of you, so much…I thought I would go mad. I started to doubt that…”
“We are anything more than bedfellows…” Kotallo said softly then twisted to look at her. “I might have thought, once, that I would be content with being so…but I confess…I want…”
“All or nothing.” Aloy nodded, stroking his face. “I know.” She sighed and lowered her forehead to his shoulder. Her red hair fell forward like a veil and her lips kissed his skin, trailing down his left arm to the stump at the end. She was careful not to bump the bandage. The wound had healed but the memory of the injury was relentless. “It feels like years…and it’s not been two weeks…still, if you’re here that means you’ve taken word to all the clans of the Tenakth?” Aloy sank onto her left hip and gazed at his face. “If that’s the case…then you can stay here…”
Kotallo’s eyes were sad and his expression was pained.
“Aloy…” He whispered and looked away.
“Kotallo? What is it?”
“Hekarro has asked me to lead the next embassy with the Carja. It…is set for five days time.”
Aloy’s eyes widened. “But that’s wonderful! Now that Regalla’s civil uprising has been dealt with, the Carja and Tenakth can meet together again. And for Hekarro to choose you as his representative is a huge honour.” Kotallo sighed and his shoulders bowed. Aloy couldn’t understand. “We…we still have days together. Barren Light is only a solid day’s ride on a Bristleback…even less on a Sunwing…”
“I must be at Barren Light by tomorrow night,” Aloy stared at him, confused, “the embassy is to be held in Meridian.”
Aloy’s words, indeed her very thoughts, were blanked out of her mind and mouth. She stared at Kotallo, her heart sinking in her chest.
“Meridian?”
The word was whispered between them, an aching loneliness that they both knew they would have to face.
“Yes.” Kotallo closed his eyes. “I…Hekarro does not know about you and although I think he suspects partiality on my part for you,” Aloy’s lips curled up in a slight smile at Kotallo’s bashful remark, “but with word spreading to the Tenakth about Nemesis…Hekarro believes peace between Carja and Tenakth is more important than ever.” Kotallo shook his head. “Now that it is revealed that we are all the same tribe…humans.” Aloy’s skin had grown cold and her spine was trembling. “If Hekarro knew about you and I, he might not have asked me…but I know you do not want anyone to know about us…”
Aloy swallowed through a wrested throat. “Hekarro would keep our confidence…” She murmured.
“I cannot risk it…”
Aloy paused and studied Kotallo. She sensed shame in him, grief and regret.
“You think if ‘we’ become known…it would end us…”
Kotallo sighed. “I know ‘we’ need to be…discreet so that you can continue to be you. And I would never want to stop you from being that.”
Aloy bit her bottom lip. “I don’t want to stop you from being a Tenakth Marshal.” She replied.
Kotallo huffed softly with a sad smile before looking at her. “I would give it up to be with you…and to follow you…and to be where you are when you stop.”
Aloy’s eyes prickled with tears. “Kotallo…”
“I know it is not possible and my leading this embassy will demonstrate my loyalty to Hekarro.” Kotallo’s tone was firm, not loud but firm.
Aloy closed her eyes and willed her stubbornness to be strong once more. “You need to go as Hekarro’s representative to this embassy.” Her words were almost forced.
“I understand…” Kotallo said as he retrieved his tunic and stood, preparing to cover himself back up.
“No, you don’t.” Aloy stood and yanked the clothing out of his hand, grasping his calloused fingers. “Hekarro’s right about the Tenakth and the Carja needing to be at peace. In the big picture of the world rebuilding itself, we have to move on from these cultural racisms that divide us.” Aloy licked her lips, staring at his hand, unable to meet his gaze lest she lose her resolve. “Maybe another Tenakth could lead it…but you are Hekarro’s best. You opened the gates at Barren Light and you have much to hate the Carja for…yet you stand for peace and you know what’s coming.” She went to let go of his hands, her heart breaking. “No…there is no one else who can do this…and I’m selfish to want…”
Her voice was cut off as Kotallo cupped her face and kissed her, his lips conveying what words could not. Aloy let him silence her, frightened of what she had been about to say.