Aloy felt her shoulder touched and she opened her eyes to see Alva’s face gazing into hers, her eyes filled with deep concern.

“Alva,” Aloy was groggy and confused, barely awake, “what…”

“Not the safest place to take a nap…” Alva urged, her fingers tightening on Aloy’s tunic.

Aloy looked at where she was, fully and cruelly awake within a split second as she realised she’d dozed off on the edge of the launch tower plateau with nothing but a multi storey fall and a sudden and fatal end at the bottom.

She swore and scrambled back, Alva holding on tight and only letting go when she was on her feet, pushing her hair back.

“I…I must have dozed off after speaking with you…” Aloy trembled. “Thank you, Alva…that was an incredibly stupid place to fall asleep.”

“You must have been exhausted to do so.” Alva insisted.

“I was,” Aloy’s body ached, “uh…what are you doing here? Not to sound ungrateful but weren’t you going to let Bohai know about the marooned Quen?”

“Oh I did that with a quick FOCUS message.” Alva waved her hand dismissively. “He couldn’t contain the relief in his voice. For all Bohai’s ‘knowledge’,” she said with exaggerated hand motions, “he’s not a sailor and even with the end of the world storms subsided, there are still the normal storms that could sink any of our ships without a strong leader.”

“Admiral Gerrit.”

“Yes,” Alva nodded, “Bohai nearly ordered the ships launched at once but they’ll disembark as planned on the tide tomorrow and head to Los Angeles before heading home.”

“That’s…that’s good,” Aloy licked her lips, “and you’re okay with not going back?”

Alva shrugged, her round face always so expressive it was easily known what was going on in her head by the peak of her eyebrows and the curve of her lips.

“It’s a big decision and I know my partner and family will not be impressed…but the future of the world is at stake,” Alva tilted her head, “that’s worth the sacrifice. They’ll see that in time.”

“If the Imperial Family even let anyone see the ember’s message…” Aloy murmured.

“Diviner Bohai promised he would deliver it. That’s all you can do.” Alva insisted. “It’s all I could have done even if I had gone home. To be honest, I’m more worried about you.”

“Me?” Aloy looked at her. “I…I’m fine.” She walked away, heading to the table at the base of the steps that led up to the Zenith’s rocket that would have taken them back to the Odyssey in space had they reached it before being killed in the onslaught.

“Are you sure?” Alva probed gently. “Gaia said tracking Walter Londra through Los Angeles was not a clear cut mission.”

Aloy turned to her. “Gaia told you?”

“Only that you went,” Alva held up her hands in innocence at Aloy’s glare, “I contacted her after speaking with Bohai. It was she who said you could use a friend.” Aloy closed her eyes, flooded with guilt, leaning on the table, her head lowered between her arms. “Aloy…what is it?”

“You wouldn’t call me friend…if you knew…”

Alva gently pushed Aloy into a chair and sat down next to her. “Better I hear it from you than Bohai or anyone else.”

Aloy nodded, closed her eyes and breathed out. “At the Quen settlement, Fleet’s End…I met a Quen called Theoa. She said Diviner Enki was sympathetic to the oppression of the Imperial Family on your people. He had a lead on a cache of FOCUSES that Theoa said could be given to civilians but had gone missing. I found his body, retrieved his FOCUS and helped Theoa get her hands on at least two dozen FOCUSES.”

“Okay…” Alva frowned. “I don’t know how she hoped to get them through the security when the ships docked…There’s always a Diviner with the soldiers scanning for smuggled materials. FOCUSES would have stood out like a beacon, especially so many in one place.”

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“I didn’t think of that…or of anything other than…” Aloy’s voice petered off. Alva gazed at her and patiently waited in silence. “I…met another Quen there. Her name was Seyka. She was just a midshipman according to Quen hierarchy but when a large scout party went missing, including her sister, she donned a FOCUS and went looking for them. Admiral Gerrit made it clear he could protect her in Fleet’s End but once home…”

“She would be subjected to the punishment of the Imperial Family…if she survived Compliance interrogation…”

“When I heard that…when I heard how Seyka was willing to accept it as a ‘consequence’ of doing the right thing…” Aloy’s mouth turned down and her heart tightened as if an angry hand was squeezing it. “I thought of my own childhood, alone and isolated with only Rost as my guardian, cast out as a child for no reason other than not having a mother!” Her hands scrunched into fists and her eyes stung with bitter tears that she refused to let fall. “Any attempt I made to reach out as a little girl for friends…for any kind of companionship was met with revulsion and violence…the Nora taught their children too well…” She could feel the scar on her forehead, the memory of the strike, the bleed…the pain of rejection and being a target as real now as it had been then. “I didn’t think of anything other than freeing your people from the subjugation of the Imperial Family so that everyone, not just the privileged few, could access knowledge…all knowledge…”

Alva swallowed. “What happened, Aloy?”

Aloy shuddered. “Theoa equipped those sympathetic to her cause with FOCUSES…and then killed anyone loyal to the Imperial Family at Fleet’s End.” Alva’s gasp was sharp and painful. “With the FOCUSES they could coordinate their attack, take out lookouts, sentries and soldiers…so many deaths…and it’s my fault.” She scrunched her face tightly. “I…I thought I was above making a mistake…that if I just trusted my instincts and did what I thought was right…”

“Did you intend for the Imperial loyalists to die?” Alva’s voice was small but calm.

“I…no, I didn’t think they deserved to die,” Aloy recalled Rheng’s body on the sand, “no matter how despicable they were…”

“Then you’re not to blame. Theoa is.”

“But I…”

“That’s enough!” Aloy was stunned, her eyes wide at Alva’s sharp rebuke. From her expression, Alva was as surprised as she. “Aloy, FOCUSES were always meant to enable people to access knowledge and broaden our horizons. They were never meant for militant purposes. This isn’t on your head.”

“But I played a part in it,” Aloy shivered, “and then I ran away from it.”

“The fate of the world is at stake,” Alva insisted, “and if you’re not leading it…I don’t know that we can succeed.” She put her hand on Aloy’s icy fingers. “I still trust you.”

Aloy looked at her sadly. “You should look in the rejuvenation capsule before you decide anything,” she nodded her head to the room and Alva stood to look inside, “because while your people were dying, I was saving him.”

Alva’s face paled and she turned to Aloy. “Is that who I think it is?”

Aloy nodded. “Created as Beta was, enroute to earth but years after. He was dying from the damage of accelerated development…”

“He was vulnerable.”

“That’s not the word I would have used.”

“Oh dear.” Alva cringed. “Not pleasant?”

“Not remotely,” Aloy put her elbows on the table and her head, in her hands, “I defended him even when he deserved to die…because he knows about Nemesis. All the while Theoa planned a mutiny and I hurt…people…” The only one she could think of, though, was Seyka. She who had been so excited to wear a FOCUS and even took to flying on a Waterwing, crushed her hope of freedom to show the depth of Aloy’s betrayal.

“Nemesis must be defeated if anyone, even the Quen, are to survive and if Ted Faro’s copy can help us do that…”

“What if he’s as bad as his original?” Aloy asked hollowly. “I mean, if I’m a clone of Elisabet Sobeck and exactly like her…”

“You’re not.” Aloy blinked, surprised by the bluntness of Alva’s response. She turned to her, eyes wide and curious. Alva gave a small smile. “I mean, on a genetic level, yes, you’re identical…but you don’t even look like her.”

“That’s superficial!”

“What about upbringing? What about exposure to different environments? As remarkable as Elisabet was, I doubt she ever picked up a bow and took out bandits.”

Aloy swallowed. “Maybe not…but that’s a learned skill…not who she was…who I am…”

“Then look at Beta. She’s an exact copy also but she’s very different.”

“We don’t know if the Zeniths messed with her genetic code!”

“And risk Gaia not recognising her?” Alva said and Aloy was shocked, the obvious proof of Beta’s authentic Sobeck genetic makeup having escaped her. “Beta is different because of the way the Zeniths treated her. You and Elisbaet are also different because of the way you were raised. She had a mother, you had a male guardian…one seed, two trees in different biomes. Remember? That’s how Zo explained it. Genetics only account for a part of who you are. You’re not the same as her.”

Aloy trembled. “I wish I was,” she whispered, “Elisabet never made any mistakes…”

“That’s just about the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard you say and proves you are tired beyond logical thought.” Alva rebuked gently. “Of course she made mistakes…she wasn’t perfect. She was human…and you’ve got to stop trying to be like her…and just be you.” Aloy couldn’t meet her gaze. She didn’t know what to think. Her mind was a haze of exhaustion, grief and guilt. Alva passed her a waterproof pouch. “It’s Zo’s, ‘I need solid sleep’ brew. She gave me the recipe.”

“I have to keep an eye on Tomas…”

“I’ll do that. You need to sleep.”

Aloy nodded and drained the pouch dry. Alva laid out her swag in a sheltered corner of the platform and Aloy lay on it, her body becoming heavy quickly. She heard Alva reassuring her that she would keep watch but couldn’t have stayed awake no matter if she’d tried.