Aloy felt wretched as she watched the Oseram descend into the common room, each overwhelmed in their own way. Abadund was gesturing, wordlessly protesting and exclaiming what he’d heard and seen. Morlund, in his sincere way, sat on a chair, big tears rolling down his good natured cheeks. Stemmur was quiet, his arms folded, his head lowered and eyes, closed. Silga wrung her fingers and paced a little as she was prone to do when agitated.

Alva poured all of them a stein of ale each. “I know it’s a lot to take in,” she said gently, “and you’re probably feeling lost and unsure. I know I was…”

“I can’t…that’s just…about the worst thing I’ve ever heard.” Silga’s voice wept more than her tears. Aloy could hear each of her words dripping from her cheeks, her heart breaking.

“Why would you show us that?” Morlund asked, lightly betrayed, his eyes on Aloy. “We…we could have done what was needed without knowing…”

“You have to know why,” Aloy said firmly, “and…others know as well and they’ll be talking about this around you. It would be cruel to leave you ignorant.”

“Cruel?” Abadund exclaimed, his voice finally returning. “Cruel to leave us ignorant? It’s cruel to know! Ignorance really is bliss!”

“That is the most arrogant and despicable thing I have ever heard.” Silga said softly. “To remain ignorant of the sacrifice…of the voices of the past that have been silence…” She put her hand to her breast. “We need to remember them! We need to know what they lived for! What they died for!”

“And in doing so, we can hold onto their voices in the present,” Stemmur said in his beautifully measured tone, “and not lose hope.”

“And if Nemesis came and wiped you all out,” Aloy jolted and looked at Tomas who stood at the science lab threshold, “ignorance would not be bliss. You would be tortured, persecuted and driven mad over something you didn’t even know happened.”

“Tomas…” Aloy hissed sharply.

“No, he’s right.” Morlund stood up, clearing his throat. “I won’t let the lights of Vegas go out…not now. And I needed to know why.”

Alva smiled kindly. “So…you’re in?”

“I’m in.”

“Me too.” Silga nodded.

“As am I.” Stemmur bowed…then everyone looked at Abadund.

“I don’t really have a choice in the matter.” He groused.

“Tell me about it…” Tomas rolled his eyes.

“I’m no good at fighting…”

“Actually, Aloy has talked about how good you are with figures.” Alva stepped forward. “We really need someone in charge of logistics.”

“Logistics?”

“In charge of store supplies, food in, food out…all our machine parts and what’s needed where.”

“That does sound like you, Ab.” Morlund chuckled without his usual bounce.

“Maybe so but I’ve never operated on this scale before.” Abadund protested. “I doubt my chalk and slate are up to the task.”

“You won’t need them.” Beta held out her hand. In it was a FOCUS. “This has the power of a million slates and the ability to do calculations, create lists, form budgets, link supply lines…”

“That?” Abadund’s eyes rounded.

“It’s another learning curve,” Aloy warned, “but it’s a good one.”

“I’m in.” He beamed.

“I’ll take you all out for a beginners tutorial tomorrow morning.” Aloy promised. “For now, you need to eat, drink and sleep.”

Alva showed them to the kitchen and Aloy watched as they observed her using the heating element and explained the cooling unit. Their awe and excitement over such simple things was heart warming.

Yet it wasn’t enough to keep her from worrying.

In fact, it only reinforced her fears.

After all, if they couldn’t become accustomed to things like stoves and fridges, how would they cope with wearing FOCUSES and wrapping their heads around what needed to be done.

The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.

She felt someone stand next to her and glanced to her side. Beta didn’t look at her, gazing at the Oseram and Alva.

“Alva said you stayed outside the base last night.”

Aloy nodded. “I did.”

Beta pressed her lips together. “Because of our fight?”

Aloy swallowed. “I’d be lying if I said no.”

They were quiet for a moment.

“I’m sorry if anything I said hurt you,” Aloy blinked, surprised by Beta’s statement, “sometimes I feel like you’re…too much…and I don’t know if I’m pushing you away because I’m scared I won’t measure up or I just want the room to figure it out for myself…but I shouldn’t have bitten your head off.”

Aloy felt like Beta was waiting for a response but for the life of her, she couldn’t find the words to speak. Perhaps it was because she didn’t really believe any of them and couldn’t stomach lying for the sake of ‘peace’. She sensed Beta looking at her and met her pale green gaze.

“Well? Aren’t you going to say something?”

“Like what?” Clearly that wasn’t the right thing as Beta’s eyes rolled around in her head.

“I just apologised, even though I’d done very little wrong compared to your damning and humiliating speech,” Beta hissed, “aren’t you remotely convicted about your own conduct?” Aloy shook her head, still struggling to understand what it was Beta wanted…and her clone seemed extremely confused by it. “But…it’s what happened in the media files…when family members had a fight then came back and apologised…”

“You just did.”

“Both parties!” Beta realised she’d raised her voice when Alva glared in their direction and jerked her head. Aloy grasped Beta’s arm and drew her aside so that their squabble didn’t unsettle the newest recruits. “It’s how family works! How we’re meant to…reconcile.”

“For goodness sake Beta, what do you think this is? Some kind of cushy media soap opera?” Aloy snarled softly. “This is real life, not a Zenith brain washing idea of what ‘family’ looks like.”

Beta shook her head. “You don’t know,” she glared at Aloy, “not even remotely, how much I wanted to live inside those media files. I was all alone, Aloy.”

“So was I.”

“And you didn’t want to be a part of any family? Want to leap into someone else’s existence and experience what it was like…just once?” Aloy paused, recalling the time she had tried to reach out to a Nora mother. She had drawn her children aside, frightened as though being even remotely close to Aloy, was a toxic and dangerous situation. She hadn’t seen the berries in Aloy’s hands…or the yearning in her eyes to have the love of a mother.

Aloy closed her eyes and shut the memory, and all the emotion attached, down.

“Whatever I felt, even in its smallest measure…I shut it out and never looked back.” She knew her tone was hard, as hard as her soul had become. Even now, amidst likeminded people in the base, learning about their past that the entire world had been ignorant about for hundreds of years…Aloy still felt alone…and that suited her just fine.

“I guess that’s the difference between us,” Beta lamented softly, “I’ve always wanted family…and I think I always will…”

Aloy’s forehead furrowed and her eyes pinched as she pressed her nose tightly. “This is not the time, Beta,” she ground out between gritted teeth, “I can’t do this now.” She began to walk away, feeling as though the ground was slipping away from beneath her feet.

“Why do I get the feeling that, even if we defeat Nemesis, you’ll find another excuse, and another and another, to keep me away…and never admit that you were wrong.”

Aloy escaped into her room and closed the door behind her. She grunted and put her hands over her face.

“Aloy, you seem distressed.”

“I’d say that’s accurate.”

“Can I be of any assistance?”

“I doubt it.” Aloy sank onto her bedroll and lay on her back. “Elisabeth didn’t have brothers or sisters, did she?”

“She was an only child.”

Aloy sighed. “And no steady relationships…”

“Not that I am aware. Even Tilda’s claims of an affair with Elisabet are based on her word only and unable to be corroborated.”

Aloy stared at the grey ceiling, able to see where the panels had been joined together, candlelight flickering across it. She preferred the light of candles to the harsh light of old world illumination. There was something softer and comforting about candles.

“From what I’ve learned, it doesn’t sound like Elisabet ever really loved anyone…”

“That is not true. Elisabet told me many stories about her mother, about her childhood and growing up, the lessons she learned and how they shaped her sense of integrity and conscience.”

Aloy sat up, her brow furrowed. “Did she ever mention her father?”

“Only that he was absent and when I inquired about him, she asked that I not do so again.” There was a pause. “Are you asking about Elisabet, hoping to better understand yourself by understanding her?”

Aloy folded her legs, her elbows in the crooks of her knees, clasped her fingers together and put her chin on the backs of her hands.

“I go away, get the perspective I need, come back to base…and find myself in an argument with Beta almost straight away.” She muttered. “I don’t know why but I become…volatile when she’s around. And I have no prior experience or person to learn from to try to figure out what is wrong with me.” She glanced at the shelf where a small token rested, a gift from Rost. “I wish I could ask him what to do. I wish I could ask Elisabet.”

“Aloy, do you need someone to tell you who to be?”

She smiled sadly. “When it comes to what to do, I tend to just do and follow the convictions of my heart.”

“As Elisabet did.”

“But with Beta…Tomas…people…I flounder.” She swallowed. “You once said that you had unshakable faith in Elisabet…but you were actually saying it to me because I am her clone. You said you believed in me, all things were possible…but it was Elisabet who gave you that confidence.”

“I have that same confidence in you, Aloy.”

“But am I me or am I copy of Elisabet? Do I have the same ability as she? The same heart…the same determination?” Aloy closed her eyes and frowned, her heart trembling inside of her. “Elisabet sacrificed her life to close the hatch to keep Zero Dawn from being discovered by the FARO plague.”

“You have been in several highly dangerous, life threatening situations and never faltered.”

“But I didn’t go into them thinking, this is it…if I do this, I’m dead.”

“I have no doubt, if you had to, you would sacrifice yourself…but Aloy, I will do everything in my power to make sure that does not happen.”

“Why?”

“Because you deserve the chance to have a life. All living creatures on Earth deserve that chance. That is the fundamental drive of my core programming…that everyone has the chance to live.”