Things were awkward with Becca.
They weren’t on bad terms or anything, but they hadn’t been able to rekindle what they’d had that day. Jacob tried to bring it up multiple times, but got embarrassed and pretended it was nothing.
She’d been less affectionate with him, less upbeat around him. More polite and restrained in a way he’d never seen her before.
What if she’d changed her mind about him? What if she’d only been saying things from the stress of her life being at risk?
He’d never had much trouble talking to women or expressing his feelings. On the contrary, most people told him he was overly blunt and upfront. There was just something about Becca that tied his tongue in knots.
Everyone went along for a road trip to Old Berlin in Mr. Beau’s beat-up van. The aptitude tests would be held there.
They all stayed at a 2,5 star hotel called the Rising Sun. Sonny had loudly protested this choice for the duration of the road trip, wanting something fancier. Sobering him up a bit for the trip had made him more difficult to deal with, not less, and he kept muttering about how this wasn’t ‘part of the deal’.
Mr. Beau and Bob had one room, Jacob and Becca shared another next door, and Sonny had one down the hall. Jacob's room was cramped. The bathroom tap was leaky, the twin beds were lumpy, there was a strange smell coming from the drain, and the window had a charming view of a brick wall. Other than that, it was perfect.
As soon as they said goodbye to the others and settled in for an early evening, a silent tension descended over Jacob and Becca. They each sat in their own bed, and Jacob put on the TV to distract himself. All the channels were in German, which didn’t help.
They made small talk for a while, but that quickly died out. Jacob kept glancing over at her. Taking in the blonde hair that fell over her shoulders, the light smattering of freckles on her nose and cheeks, her exposed, pale neck.
“You know, I actually tried to confess to you once,” Jacob said without really thinking. “We were on the couch at your aunt’s place. I told you I loved you. I don’t think it came across.”
“Really?” Becca looked up in thought, a finger on her bottom lip. “I don’t think I remember that.”
“Yeah, it makes sense that you wouldn’t. It was a big moment for me. I was too scared to say anything after that.”
“I had a moment like that too. Remember when I was trying to set you up with this girl in my class, Vicky? And she turned you down, and I said it was okay because I knew there was another girl who was into you? And you asked who, and I wouldn’t tell you, but I said you already knew her? I was talking about me.”
Jacob blinked, deadpan. “What? That’s way too obscure, Becca. How did you expect me to ever get that?”
She shrugged. “I think you’re just a bit dense.”
“At least I said I loved you straight-up.”
“We say that all the time! How was I supposed to know? At least I made my romantic intent clear—it’s not my fault you were too oblivious to pick up on it.”
“Clear is the furthest thing from what you just described.”
“Whatever. I guess we’re both stupid then.”
Jacob sighed. “I think we are. Really stupid.” His words caught in his throat, but he forced himself to keep talking. “So… how do you feel about it now? You know, now that the dust has settled and everything.”
“I was gonna ask you that.”
“I asked first.”
Becca threw a pillow at him. He caught it with one hand and threw it back, catching her in the face so hard that she nearly tipped off the bed. She let out a snorting laugh as she pulled it away from her face.
“Well, I…” she began, clutching the pillow to her chest. She cleared her throat. “I…”
“Yes?”
“I wanna have your babies, big brother.”
Jacob threw his own pillow. This time, she did fall off the bed, and bounced up laughing.
“I think it’s settled—you’re the stupid one,” Jacob informed her.
“I’ll be serious, I promise.” Becca slowly padded over as she fixed her messed-up hair by running her hands through it. She sat down on the edge of his bed, her back facing him, and said: “I love you, Jacob. Always did. Always will. I love you in every way a woman can love a man. I love the parts of you I hate. I love you, and that’ll never change.” There was a long pause. “Your turn.”
Jacob struggled and failed to come up with something half as eloquent. In the end, he figured it was best to just say what he wanted to say. “Yeah, nothing’s changed for me either. I love you, Becca.”
He hugged her from the back, and she let her head tip back onto his chest.
“Will you call me Rebecca, just this once?” she asked, looking at his face upside-down. “I like Becca, but this feels like a serious situation, I guess. Like, making something official? So it should be a bit more formal. Does that make sense?”
“I don’t think it does. I love you, Rebecca.”
She smiled.
They kissed.
Then she leapt back to her feet. “Wow, what a load off! All that stress made me hungry. Wanna go out and grab something?”
Jacob nodded. Their dinner had consisted of junky gas station sandwiches. He could use something a bit less depressing in his belly. Spending money was the only limiting factor. Jacob had less than a hundred flora in his account, and he knew for a fact that Becca’s wasn’t looking any better.
It wasn’t going to be fine dining, exactly.
Jacob had mostly brought clothes that would work for the three days of aptitude tests, so he didn’t have much in the way of going-out clothes. He settled for jeans and a black t-shirt that was only moderately worn-out.
Becca, on the other hand, had brought a pretty white dress with matching snowflake hair ornaments. She spent over an hour doing her makeup. Jacob prompting her to hurry up had no effect. When they were finally ready to leave, it was almost midnight.
He had to admit, though—she looked beautiful. She beamed when he told her as much.
Jacob didn’t look up any food places in the System, they just walked through the city and kept an eye out for the first place that looked decent. A few blocks down from the hotel they found a pizza place on a street corner that was still open. The only customer was an older woman, obviously drunk, who was relentlessly devouring a kebab.
They got a pepperoni pizza to share. Jacob only ate two slices—he didn’t have much of an appetite ever since being resurrected from the dead, partially because the flavors were muted, and partially because he quickly started feeling nauseous whenever he ate.
Becca, however, had no such restrictions. She ate with the same gusto as the older woman, and they even gave each other a thumbs-up at one point. She finished the remaining three-quarters of the pizza and leaned back in the faux-leather booth seat, patting her belly contentedly. It bulged out slightly from all the food.
“Good?” Jacob asked.
“Very good,” Becca confirmed. “I don’t wanna go back just yet. Do you mind if we walk around for a bit? I know you need to get up early, though…”
“Let’s do it.” Jacob stood and took Becca by the hand to help her up.
Jacob asked the restaurant owner if there were any noteworthy tourist attractions nearby, but the man’s English wasn’t very good, so he abandoned the attempt. Looking it up in the System, he found that there was supposed to be an old hero monument about a fifteen minute walk away. He figured Becca would want to see that, so he steered them towards it.
They looked at the surrounding buildings while they walked. Old Berlin had been spared from the urgek attacks, but it still wasn’t much to look at. Many buildings were disused and dilapidated, as though people had stopped caring about the place when it went from the capital of a nation to just another overgrown town from before the Golden Age. The city certainly lived up to its name.
The monument stood in the middle of a wooded park, lit up by four spotlights. It was five meters tall, featuring maybe a dozen heroes that looked like they were bursting out of the stone slab that made up the monument’s center. It stood in memory of the defense of Earth during the First Draconic War. Becca spent twenty minutes pointing to each hero in turn and lecturing about their entire history. Jacob didn’t pay much attention.
Once she’d talked herself out they sat down on one of the stone steps leading up to the monument. She put her head on his shoulder. He stroked her hair. He’d done it so many times before, but it felt different now. It gave him a feeling of possessiveness. Of never wanting to let her go.
They sat there in silence for a while, just enjoying each other’s company. Then, quite suddenly, she said: “I’m proud of you.”
“For what?”
“For everything. You’re a User now, Jacob. That’s a big deal.”
“You’ve got some misgivings about the whole hero-for-hire concept, though.”
“I mean, I can’t say I really get it. But I kind of do. And I’ve got your back. You’ll do a lot of good for the world.”
“I’m mostly concerned with you.”
“Selfish.”
He scoffed. “Guilty.”
They made out. She was heavy on the tongue, and soon had a hand under his shirt, stroking his stomach. She tasted like pizza. He didn’t mind.
“You can choke me a little,” she breathed when they broke away for a moment.
“Uh, yeah?” Jacob said, somewhat incredulous. “You into that kind of thing?”
“What’s the point of having a User boyfriend if he doesn’t make you fear for your life a little?”
Point taken, I guess.
Jacob obliged, and she purred with satisfaction when he put a hand around her throat.
They interrupted their tryst when Jacob noticed a homeless man shooting up Rainbow in some nearby bushes, which kind of ruined the mood. They hastily took their leave, but kept going as soon as they returned to the hotel room. They made out a bit more, then Becca got him on one of the beds and pulled off his shirt.
And then…
Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.
*****
One lovemaking session and too little sleep later…
Jacob’s System alarm woke him up at 6 AM. Becca had him in a familiar octopus hug and had almost pushed him over the edge of the twin bed. They were both tangled in the covers.
Becca was still fast asleep, snoring. She’d drooled a bit on his shoulder.
Jacob managed to work himself free without waking her and got ready for the day.
Boyfriend, Jacob thought while brushing his teeth. That’s what she called me.
That felt good.
He still thought his new appearance was off-putting, and usually avoided looking at his own reflection. But knowing that she liked him despite it all helped a bit.
He dressed in sweatpants, a t-shirt, and a pair of gym shoes. Once he was ready, he went downstairs and met the other Users in the lobby. Bob had evidently been ready for some time, and had taken the liberty of shuttling Sonny downstairs. The former S-Rank was still in a rotten mood, and cursed them both under his breath, sunken deep into a plush chair.
They took a train to the city center, where they were greeted by the Heroes’ Guild HQ, the third largest Guild hub in the NEHZ. It had the appearance of a huge glass cube, and it dwarfed the surrounding cityscape. There was a whole campus of smaller buildings around the HQ, connected by a wide open space with parks and vendors and public seating.
Jacob and Bob went towards one of the outbuildings, Warehouse 4, as directed by their invitations. Sonny split off from them to go to the cube. He only needed to be recertified, which consisted mostly of interviews and would be finished inside just one day if everything went well, as opposed to the three full days of aptitude testing that Jacob and Bob had to look forward to.
“Better keep your word,” Sonny said as he began to back away from them, a pronounced sway in his step. “If you don’t…” He pulled a pair of mini vodka bottles from his pockets and swept them both at once. Forgetting to finish his threat, he spun on his heel and staggered off.
“God help us,” Jacob muttered as he watched the man go. He turned to the robot, eager to think about something else. “What about you, Bob? Feeling confident?”
Bob was still wearing his sunglasses and a t-shirt boldly advertising the Sleeping Cat that Mr. Beau had printed up for him. He tapped a finger against where his mouth should have been in an imitation of what Becca sometimes did. “I think I am neither confident nor unconfident. But it will be an interesting opportunity to gather data. I want to be good at my new job. And you, Jacob? My readings indicate elevated stress levels.”
Jacob hated that Advanced Empathy talent as much as the robot loved it. He had tried to explain several times that it was rude to read out a person’s emotions to their face, but it hadn’t stuck.
“I’ll be fine,” Jacob grumbled, working his jaw. “Today’s the easy part anyway.”
The first day of the aptitude test was devoted to interviews and physical evaluations. The second day would consist of duels, both examinee-on-examinee and examinee-on-examinator. The third day, for those who made it that far without being disqualified, would consist of a written test and a final interview where ranking would be finalized.
As expected, there were plenty of other Users around Warehouse 4, people who had decided to stop and chat or warm up before heading inside.
Jacob took his leave of Bob so he could scope out the competition, since the robot was attracting far too much attention. People were already approaching him for photos.
There had to be some dangerous types to look out for on the second day. The sooner he figured out who they were, the better.
Paying special attention to those actively practicing with their Blessings, Jacob saw a man directing a pair of overgrown toads the size of small dogs with simple hand gestures, making them do circles around each other in the grass. A Familiar Blessing. He saw a woman transition between various nimble martial arts stances as thorny vines crawled across her body, covering most of her limbs and chest and even her neck. Maybe a Regalia? Another man was doing nothing in particular, stood off by himself, but he was noteworthy by virtue of his physique. He was bigger even than the average urgek, standing over three meters tall and bulging with veiny muscles, so thick with mass it looked like it had to make certain movements difficult. Definitely a Symbiosis.
Jacob was rudely broken out of his observations when someone bumped into him. Turning around, he found a slight young man working his way to his feet after having tripped down on one knee. He was boyishly handsome, with short blond hair and dimpled cheeks, wearing a partially buttoned-down white shirt and a pair of black dress pants.
“Oh, sorry,” the young man said absently. His brows were knitted in confusion. “I’m sorry, I… that sort of thing doesn’t usually happen to me.”
“Don’t worry about it. No harm done.”
The young man studied Jacob closely. “Are you someone important?”
“I don’t think so. Why?”
“Well, you see, my Blessing makes it so I’m always lucky.” He held up a shining gold coin and rolled it deftly across his knuckles. “I’d only fall like that if it was important somehow.”
“I see.” That did sound like a powerful ability. Difficult to gauge. “That coin, it’s a Blessed item? So it’s, what, an Armament Blessing?”
“It’s a Hybrid. Armament and Aura.” He flipped the coin into the air and caught it. “It’s called Favorite Child. As long as I’m holding this coin, I’ve always got good luck. I can give it to other people too if I want them to have good luck instead. Oh shit, I didn’t even introduce myself, got too caught up with my Blessing. I’m Johnny. What about you, man? What are you sporting?”
Jacob didn’t feel like being quite so carefree about giving out the details of his Blessing. “I’m Jacob. My Blessing is Cheat the Hangman. Symbiosis. It gives me enhanced strength.”
The young man gave a little laugh and a saccharine smile. “Gotcha. Nothing wrong with the basics. You’re like that guy over there.” He pointed to the muscle mountain standing by himself. “I hear he’s Titaness’s grandson. Ended up with pretty much exactly the same Blessing as her. Just like Titaness’s grandfather before her, White Wolf. I guess it’s a family thing. Don’t know how that works, though, since being a User isn’t supposed to be hereditary.”
“Titaness’s grandson, huh?” Jacob mused, watching the muscled man closely. Despite his freakish physique, his face was gentle and his body language was almost furtive. Jacob put him on his mental list for potential threats. Gentle giant or not, any relative of S-Rank Titaness would probably have access to good training, if not personal mentorship by the hero herself.
“Yeah. His name’s Haden, I think.”
“Got it. How come you know all this?”
Johnny puffed out his cheeks and blew a raspberry. “Dunno. I just talk to people, I guess. They like to tell me things.”
They like to tell him things, do they? That’s definitely dangerous.
Jacob added Johnny to his list.
Johnny rolled the coin into his sleeve and threw his arms out. The coin came out the other sleeve, and he caught it between two fingers. “How about we stick together for a while, Mr. Important Guy? I wanna know what my Blessing thinks is so special about you.”
Jacob wanted to say no, but he thought Johnny could have more interesting information to share, so he reluctantly accepted. He looked over towards Bob, who was posing for a picture with his thumbs up, a woman on each side of him.
He’d be fine by himself for a while.
*****
The interior of Warehouse 4 was a single open floor space with a number of temporary testing stations set up. Everyone had been ushered in by 7:30, about fifty hopefuls grouped together, and were faced by a line of instructors. Jacob recognized a few of them as former heroes. A pudgy old man with two heads, one normal, the other shriveled, hairless, and bug-eyed. His name was Think Tank. He'd been a big name S-Rank back in the 80s and 90s. There were some old A-Ranks too.
But one man in particular stole all the attention. Jacob didn’t recognize the ordinary-looking, middle-aged man before his silver armor materialized around him. He took the full-face knight helmet off and tucked it under his arm.
Starman.
They’d fixed him up, then. Jacob had heard that he’d pulled through, but not that he was back to full health. There was nothing obviously wrong with him except a long, angry scar that ran diagonally across his face, from eyebrow to cheek.
The applicants started murmuring at the sight of him.
They must have had a User with a healing-based Blessing work on him. Maybe more than one.
“Welcome, all of you,” Starman said in a booming voice that carried easily through the hall. “My name is Grant Wilson, also known as Starman. Undoubtedly you all recognize my colleagues here as well. We will be guiding you through the aptitude tests for the next few days. If you’re lucky, a good number of you will make it through and go through the Hero Basics course to become certified heroes. Try not to feel any pressure, okay? Even if you fail now, you’ll have another chance next quarter. We don’t discriminate based on level—we only care about the strength of your abilities and the suitability of your personal qualities slash beliefs. So even if you’re Level 1, just try your hardest and you might make it through.”
He smiled, but the way he’d said that last part didn’t exactly fill Jacob with confidence.
The speech went on for another ten minutes. Starman went on about the importance of the hero profession and commended them for taking the first step. Starman was apparently the long-winded, overzealous type. Once the applicants’ attention had completely drifted, the other instructors took over to introduce themselves. There were eight of them in all.
After that, the applicants were split up and sent off to various stations. The first day was just as tedious as Jacob had expected. He ran laps. He did standing jumps. He did running jumps. He did an obstacle course. He did deadlifts. He did bench presses. He tested grip strength. He tested punch and kick strength. The instructors took notes and cameras automatically recorded their performances to extrapolate actionable data.
Jacob noted that Johnny performed poorly on basically all of the physical tests. The luck clearly didn’t help him there, which meant there was a limit to it. Meanwhile, it was difficult to ignore Haden the giant, who made the floor vibrate with each step and set it shaking like an earthquake when he jumped.
Bob did well enough for himself. He hadn’t put any points into Vigor or Finesse, but being a robot probably gave him some distinct advantages over a base human physique.
The only other User that Jacob noted was a woman with the ability to shapeshift, mostly becoming larger and smaller. Her movements were extremely quick and fluid, and she cleared the obstacle course in record time. Jacob got it from Johnny that her name was Priscilla, and that her Blessing, Dusk ‘til Dawn, didn’t actually let her shapeshift but change her age, theoretically shifting between anything from a small child to an old woman.
The Blessing itself did not sound impressive, but her physical abilities were, suggesting that she had leveled at least a few times for extra attribute points.
There was a lunch break after the physical evaluations. Many went to the main building for the ground floor cafeteria, and Jacob went along. He didn’t want to waste money on any of the overpriced items on offer, so he settled for just a banana and a bottle of water, which still came up to eight flora. He’d remember to bring his own food tomorrow.
He sat with Johnny and Bob, and the former had ordered himself quite a spread. It made sense that he’d be good on money with a Blessing like Favorite Child. Bob just watched them both eat, chin resting in his hands, like he found something enjoyable in it. Jacob had learned to block him out when he did things like that.
He’d decided that the likeliest reason why Johnny’s Blessing had put him and Jacob together was because they would end up facing each other in the duels later. So when Johnny predictably prompted him about details on Cheat the Hangman, Jacob was as vague as possible and gave a few outright lies, like stating that he had picked the Scouting talent instead of Dash.
It couldn’t hurt to be safe. At the same time, while Johnny went on and on about his own abilities, Jacob decided to take all of it as unreliable information, as he was likely employing the same strategy.
When Johnny went to put away his tray, Jacob leaned close to Bob and asked: “What did you sense from him? Do you think he was lying about something?”
The robot tilted his head how he always did when he didn’t understand something. “Deceit is not an emotion, Jacob. I cannot sense such things. It would be unwise to speculate on it.”
“Great. Thanks for the help.”
After lunch they returned to Warehouse 4 for interviews. Jacob spoke to Starman first, who asked him a variety of questions about his personal thoughts on the hero profession, what aspects he wanted to focus on, how he thought his abilities could be of use, and his general philosophy. The hero looked bewildered when Jacob mentioned the idea of his hero-for-hire business and tried at length to talk him out of it.
Jacob didn’t budge.
When the interview concluded and he stood up to leave, Jacob couldn’t help but ask: “How come you kept them from retreating?”
“Pardon?” Starman asked.
“The urgeks. You kept them in Arcadia when you grounded their leader. I was wondering why you did that. There might have been a lot fewer civilian deaths if you hadn’t.”
The hero looked at him with a blank, slack-jawed expression, and offered no reply.
Ah. So he’s just an idiot. Got it.
He had another interview afterwards, this time with Think Tank, who asked him questions about what Jacob wanted his public persona to be, and how he would present himself to the public to gain their support.
Jacob found it difficult speaking to the two-headed man. He couldn’t tell which head to focus on, especially when he talked from both of them interchangeably. But he was more open to Jacob’s ideas, and considered them seriously.
“It is rare, but not unheard of for a User to offer independent services,” one head spoke.
“As an independent, your presentation will be even more important,” the other chimed in. “Not just with the public, but with the Guild as well. You have to convince both of them to accept you, which means you must have a solid reputation.”
The first head started up again. “Unless you are planning to cater to a less savory clientele, which would be ill-advised to say the least.”
“I wouldn’t be here if that was my plan,” Jacob replied.
“True,” said the first head.
“That’s true,” echoed the other.
Think Tank asked him about specifics of his planned persona, such as moniker and theme and costuming. He wasn’t able to give a clear answer. He’d assumed that he would lean hard into the ‘zombie’ aspect, calling himself Deadhead or something similar and catering to those who wanted an edgy hero. Public perception was the part of being a User that he was least interested in, so he hadn’t spent much time thinking about it. But given what Think Tank had said, he wondered if it might be better to make himself more appealing, especially to avoid scrutiny from the Guild.
He told Think Tank as much, and the hero scratched both his chins while he pondered.
“The other danger is that you make yourself too bland and fail to garner any attention,” the second head said. “Your idea to lean into darker elements might be successful, or it might not, depending on your execution. You don’t need to decide straight away, this is only to pick your brain about your thoughts so far. If you end up debuting as a hero and find it’s not working for you, it’s always possible to rebrand yourself. This should be easier as an independent, with less bureaucracy to hold you back.”
Jacob came away from the interview with a lot to think about.
Becca will probably have a thousand ideas. I should ask her about it.