Despite how much it pained him, Jacob paid Cullyn his three million, and his Hidden System interface confirmed that he was absolved of the binding vow. The thune unlocked the employee lounge, and Jacob found himself standing in front of the door, hand hovering over the handle.

“Don’t keep him waiting,” Cullyn whispered by his shoulder. “He is a patient man, but he does not condone dragging one’s feet.”

“Fuck off,” Jacob muttered.

Cullyn complied, sitting down in his chair and resuming his viewing of abstract alien nonsense.

Finally, Jacob took a deep breath, pulled down on the handle, and entered the next room. The employee lounge was a grubby little room, cleanlier than the rest of the shop only by virtue of not being cluttered with Relics. All the furniture had been cleared away except a row of lockers on Jacob’s right-hand side and a round table in the middle of the room with a chair on either side of it. There was a man sitting in the one opposite, comfortably reclined with his legs folded and a tea cup in his hands. A plain white tea pot stood at the center of the table, and a steaming cup had already been poured for Jacob.

“You wanted to see me?” Ender asked.

He was a handsome man, dark-skinned with close-cropped hair and a neat beard, clad in a fitted navy suit with a red cravat. His black eyes glittered in the murky backroom lighting.

“I was hoping to learn why you’ve been obsessively stalking me,” Jacob replied.

Ender smiled, flashing perfect white teeth. “Obsessive? Yes, I suppose it must appear that way to you. Go on, sit. Have tea. Let’s talk.”

Jacob reluctantly did as instructed, though he ignored the tea. “What do I call you?”

“Oh, anything you like, as long as it starts with ‘E’.”

“How about ‘Egomaniac’?”

“Good one. I might use that if I decide to adopt a supervillain persona someday.”

“You must be pretty upset that I ruined whatever plan you had going on.”

“Yes, that was extremely rude. I had a whole surprise planned and everything. Now we’ve got to meet here, like this. Totally banal.”

Jacob snorted. “What do you want with me?”

“I suppose you’re worried I’m planning something awful.”

“Something like that.”

“Well, rest assured, I am not. I want to be your friend, Jacob.”

“I find that hard to believe.”

“Why?” Ender put his cup down on its saucer with a chink of porcelain. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re quite an untrusting person? Don’t you appreciate the lovely gifts I’ve been giving you?”

“I don’t know if ‘lovely’ is the word I’d use. More like ‘suspicious’.”

“How about another, then? Maybe that will convince you of my good intentions.”

Ender withdrew a blue marble from his pocket and placed it down on the table. It was clear as glass, with soft swirls of blue light glowing from within. He flicked it across the table, and Jacob caught it between his palms.

“What is it?” Jacob asked, holding up the marble to inspect it more closely. He did not discover anything elucidating within.

“It’s a memory,” Ender purred. “A whole bundle of them, in fact.”

“My memories?”

“Yes. Your memories. Not all of them, of course. A small fraction. Still, I thought you might appreciate it.”

“Why should I believe you?”

Ender gave a dramatic sigh, tilting his head back over the headrest to look into the ceiling. “Jacob, why would I go through all this trouble to meet with you just to, what, poison you? Force you to ingest some harmful magic? If I wanted you dead, it wouldn’t be hard. Your Blessing is not as all-powerful as you might think.”

Jacob clenched the marble in his fist. “How would you even get a hold of my lost memories?”

Ender just shrugged. “I’ll take it back if you don’t want it.”

“I didn’t say that. If you won’t tell me where you got it, will you at least tell me what to do with it?”

“Eat it.”

Even if Ender was full of shit, Jacob had to take the risk if it could mean getting his memories back. After only a brief deliberation, he tossed the marble into his mouth, swallowed, and washed it down with a mouthful of too-hot tea.

Nothing happened.

“Give it a minute to digest,” Ender said with a smile. He picked up his tea cup and took a small sip. “In the meantime, why don’t we make some polite conversation?”

“Are you a demon?”

“What an interesting theory,” Ender laughed. “That’s a good one.”

“Are you?”

“I’ll let you form your own opinion.”

“So you are, then.”

Ender shrugged.

They sat in silence for a while. The demon did not look at all uncomfortable, just watching Jacob evenly. He felt undressed by that gaze, like all his secrets were laid bare. Considering how much Ender knew about him, that probably wasn’t far from the truth.

“What is it you want with me?” Jacob asked. “Seriously.”

“I already said, I want to be your friend.”

“Why? What’s interesting about me?”

“You in particular? Nothing. So far this has been a rather disappointing conversation.” He sighed. “But I have no choice.”

“Explain.”

“The Pattern likes you, Jacob. It swirls around you. When you move, it moves. That makes you a person worth knowing.”

“Worth controlling, you mean.”

Ender smiled over his cup and took another sip.

“What do you mean about the Pattern? That it likes me?”

“Oh, nothing really. It’s just a figure of speech.”

“I’ve never heard anyone use that ‘figure of speech’ before.”

“Maybe you’re running in the wrong circles, then.”

Jacob doubled over at a sudden pain in his stomach, groaning and hugging himself.

[WARNING!]

[UNIDENTIFIED INFORMATION PACKET DETECTED]

[INTEGRATE?]

[Y/N?]

Jacob glared at the demon.

Love what you're reading? Discover and support the author on the platform they originally published on.

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[CONFIRMED]

[INTEGRATING INFORMATION WITH EXISTING SYSTEM INFRASTRUCTURE]

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A sharp nail was hammered into the side of Jacob’s head, delivering ever-increasing jolts of cold agony that contorted his face until one last blow broke him apart and replaced the pain with a floating numbness. He slumped forward onto the table, eyes falling shut.

*****

“Come on, open your present! Open it, open it! Or I’ll hit you!”

Becca made good on her threat when Jacob took too long to untie the ribbon, smacking his arm repeatedly. Not very hard.

Outside, the autumn chill had already set in, and brown leaves were collecting in drifts in the gutters and street corners. The people walking by outside the window wore jackets to brace against the cold. But inside it was warm, almost uncomfortably so, and humid from the kitchen. Jacob had gotten halfway through his burger. He hadn’t touched his onion rings yet, but some of them had mysteriously vanished anyway.

Realizing that violence wasn’t getting her anywhere, Becca settled for neurotically sipping her thick milkshake through a straw while staring at him, waiting for him to unwrap the present.

He got the pink love-heart wrapping paper off and opened the box. Inside, on a bed of crinkled silk paper, lay a small pocket book. The cover read: ‘202 Perfect Knee-Slappers, the Anticipated Sequel to 101 Hilarious Jokes’.

“Happy fourteenth, bro!”

Jacob picked up the book and turned it over in his hands. “A… joke book?”

“Uh-huh!”

“Wow, you really… picked up on my burning passion for low-brow comedy, huh?”

She got a bashful look on her face, fiddling with the goopy milkshake straw. “I thought if you learned some good jokes, maybe you’d be able to make friends with people instead of fighting them.”

“Oh. That’s… Thank you.” As usual, the execution was a little off, but the intention made it all sweeter.

She hugged him, and his heart beat a little faster when he felt her warmth against his chest and her hair tickled his nose.

Jacob thanked her again, and they kept eating. After a while she picked up the book and flipped through it, getting french fry grease all over it. She settled on a random page and, still chewing, read: “What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?”

Jacob thought about it for a second. “A can’t opener.”

She hit him with the book. “Stop! You’re not supposed to get it right!”

Jacob screwed up his face into an ugly grimace in reply, sticking out his tongue. “Can’t help being smart, can I?”

“Do one on me!” she demanded, giving him the book.

Sighing, Jacob opened up a page, skimming over the jokes for one that was slightly less dreadful. He was out of luck there. “What’s red and bad for your teeth?”

Becca thought about it for a minute, chewing on her lip. “Candy?”

“No.”

“Apples?”

“No. You’re supposed to let me say the answer.”

“Wait, wait! The tooth fairy?”

“No. I don’t think the tooth fairy even has a specific color. Can I say the answer?”

“Fiiine.”

“A brick.”

“Oh, that’s an awful one, Jacob!”

“You bought me the book, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, but you could’ve read a nicer one.”

Once they were done eating, she invited him back to her place. She didn’t ask him if he needed to go back home to celebrate his birthday. She knew there was no need to ask that question. It was better if he could stay out as long as possible. He didn’t quite know why. That was just how it was.

Jacob got out his System interface to pay. He had calculated it: he would have three flora left afterwards. He would walk home from Becca’s place rather than take the bus so he could use his money on food another day.

“Oh, I already paid before you got here,” Becca chirped.

“What? Why?”

“Because I knew you wouldn’t let me otherwise.”

Jacob glanced up at the rotund owner as he came into the front to man the till. He nodded at Jacob with a knowing smirk.

Jacob turned back to Becca, her hair all aglow in the pale autumn sun. “I hate you,” he said stubbornly.

At the same time, he thought: I think I love her.

*****

Jacob jerked upright and found Ender smiling back at him. The demon raised his cup in greeting before putting it to his lips. Jacob swiftly wiped away tears with the back of his hand. Looking down, he found his shirt soaked with tea, and the cup lay in pieces between his feet.

“I probably should have anticipated that, sorry,” Ender said. “So? What do you think?”

He remembered it. Lardo’s. He remembered every time they had gone there; every birthday, every breakup consolation, every pseudo-date. As fresh as though it had all happened yesterday.

“Oh, hold on. That’s not all.” Ender reached into his suit jacket, brought out a wrapped present in snot-green paper, and slid it across the table. “The wrapping isn’t as nice as hers. Cullyn isn’t so familiar with that specific human custom, bless his heart. Regardless, I thought you might get a kick out of it.”

Jacob tore off the wrapping and opened the box.

202 Perfect Knee-Slappers, the Anticipated Sequel to 101 Hilarious Jokes.

The book was well-worn; cover faded, spine crumpled, pages curled at the corners. Flipping through it, he found Becca’s greasy fingerprints still muddying the pages.

“What are you?” Jacob asked, looking back up at Ender.

“I’ll let you make that judgment for yourself, Jacob. Personally, I’m not fond of labels.”

Jacob engaged his second sight. There was only an ambient hum of death in the room to guide him, but he found that demons, at least urgek ones, had a telltale stench that was easy to pick apart from the signature of a human.

Jacob sensed no such stench. Ender was perfectly neutral. Not a trace of death essence emanated from him, meaning he was in utterly perfect health. Jacob had never sensed such an individual with his second sight before. It was unnerving.

If he wasn’t a demon, what was he?

“Do you work for the void?”

Ender chortled at that. “You couldn’t know how funny that is. The void is, let’s see… call it a misplaced pet of mine.”

He’s so full of shit.

“What do you want from me?” Jacob asked. “Let me guess. The first hit is free, and the next one’ll cost me.”

Ender smiled his perfect smile. “I can’t be all sugar, can I? I’m not that nice.”

Jacob stood up, chair rattling, and clenched his fists. “Give them back. Give me my memories.”

Ender put down his cup on the table and sighed. He raised his hands in a lazy gesture of peace. “Please don’t hurt me, I’m oh-so-scared. Whatever shall I do if the big strong hero decides to beat me up?”

“I’ll do a lot worse than that.”

“I liked what you did with Starman, Jacob. He certainly reaped what he sowed. For all his talk of having no enemies, he made one out of you when he could have made you an ally, instead.”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“Oh, nothing. I just hope you won’t make that same mistake with me. I’m offering to be your friend. I’ve given you all these gifts. I advise you not to slap my hand away. If there’s one person in the entire universe you don’t want as your enemy, it’s me.” Despite his words, his tone was just as casual and pleasant as though he was talking about the weather.

“I know what you must be thinking, Jacob, but don’t worry. I would never hurt Becca or anyone else you care about.”

Jacob wanted to throttle him. Man, demon, whatever he was. He wanted to rip his head off his shoulders and stomp on it until it turned to goop. He wanted to wipe that fucking smile off his face permanently. Jacob gripped the edge of the table, splintering wood under his fingers.

“What do you want?” he bit out.

Ender waved him away. “I’ll let you know when I need your help. That’s what friends do, right? They help each other. Like you and Becca.” With a sigh, he added: “Don’t worry, I won’t make you push an old lady down a flight of stairs or anything like that. Just… small errands I don’t feel like carrying out myself. If you perform admirably, I’ll be incentivized to keep reciprocating, won’t I?”

They stared each other down, neither budging. Deciding to push his luck, Jacob removed his sunglasses and leaned in close. Ender didn’t flinch, nor did he even seem to consider the Death Glare an attack on his person. He just stared evenly into Jacob’s eyes. Smiling.

Then he pulled another blue marble from his pocket. “Next time, I’ll give you this one. This is the one you want, trust me.”

“What is it?” Jacob asked.

“It’s your father.”

“I don’t want to remember him. I’m glad he’s gone.”

“Yes, yes. Daddy issues, so sad. But did you ever stop to consider what he did for you? Of course you haven’t, you don’t remember. So let me spell it out for you. Him being your villain let Becca be your hero. Whenever you were hurting, there she was, ready to patch you up. How much of your love for her is locked up in this stack of memories, I wonder?” He turned the marble around in his hand, pursing his lips.

“Of course, maybe i’m wrong. Maybe your love is strong enough to transcend memory and time, something romantic like that. But if you find yourself coming up short, well…” He stuck the marble back in his pocket and patted it. “Feel free to reach out. Just write a note saying that you want to meet, leave it anywhere you like, and forget about it. I’ll pay you a visit, and we can discuss how to deepen our budding friendship.”

Jacob said nothing. What could he say? He had no choice but to play along, and they both knew it.

*****

As soon as the Hero left and shut the door behind him, Eric let out a sharp gasp. He found himself breathing heavily. A half-forgotten emotion soaked through him down to his bones. A cold, paralyzing feeling.

Fear.

It was deeply unpleasant. It was also exhilarating.

Eric had not feared for his life in a very long time.

He reached for his tea cup, but his hands shook so badly that he spilled, and was forced to put it back down.

“Stop watching me,” Eric said to no one in particular. “Don’t you have somewhere better to be?”

The architects, the observers, the Pattern-makers. Their eyes were on him now. From this day forward, with the Hero involved, the game would be a whole lot more dangerous. And it was too late to turn back.

I need to keep going. I owe it to myself.

What kind of man would I be if I stayed in the shadows forever?

“You know, I really don’t want to hurt him,” he continued, addressing no one in particular. “Or, at least… I haven’t decided one way or the other.”