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Hero for Hire [Superhero LitRPG]
Chapter 13 - Starman Ruins the Day

Chapter 13 - Starman Ruins the Day

That night Jacob started looking into the coursework for Hero Basics, which could all be completed online except for an in-person exam at the end. Most of it was boring and fairly basic stuff—how to engage a crowd and make official statements to the public, how to de-escalate a situation with an unstable villain, who to prioritize between two injured civilians, that kind of thing.

At least it worked wonders as a sleeping aid.

In the morning he received a notification from his day-job as a cleaner that he’d been fired. Considering he hadn’t clocked in at all since the invasion, he’d expected it to happen sooner, but maybe the boss had had trouble even finding out who on his workforce was still alive.

Regardless, no great loss. After a quick breakfast at the apartment he got Becca out of bed. The two of them headed to the Sleeping Cat, and he called up Fenway on the way to see what work she had for him. He kept the call on loudspeaker so Becca could listen in.

“I have three potential assignments lined up for you,” Fenway said. “It’s up to you which one, if any, you would like to take on.”

“Great. Hit me.”

[ASSIGNMENT A: BROKEN PRIDE]

[DANGER RATING: GALE]

[OBJECTIVE 1: CAPTURE ‘ICONOCLAST’, VILLAIN, ALIVE ONLY]

Optional: Complete in less than 24 hours

[REWARDS: 8 000fl]

OPTIONAL REWARDS: 3 000fl]

[ASSIGNMENT B: PATIENT SHADOW]

[DANGER RATING: GALE]

[OBJECTIVE 1: CAPTURE UNIDENTIFIED WOODLAND MONSTER, DEAD PREFERABLE]

Optional: Complete before target reaches any major population center

[REWARDS: 5 000fl]

[OPTIONAL REWARDS: 5 000fl]

[ASSIGNMENT C: WHALE WATCHING]

[DANGER RATING: BREEZE]

[OBJECTIVE 1: ACT AS BODYGUARD FOR VISITING VIP]

[REWARDS: 1 000fl/DAY, EXPECTED FIVE-DAY DURATION]

“Would you like me to offer additional details?” Fenway asked.

“That would be nice.”

“The first assignment, as you likely gathered, is to capture a villain—Iconoclast. He’s largely a nuisance, but lately he has developed a penchant for tearing down monuments and public buildings. Something of a rabble-rouser. No civilian casualties or significant injuries, so deadly force is disallowed unless Iconoclast first displays clear lethal intent. He’s expected to be low level, and his Blessing allows him to shape any stone and metal material he touches.”

“Sounds like easy money, compared to the first job. What about the other ones?”

“The second assignment involves tracking down a monster that has been on a rampage outside the city, killing livestock and local wildlife. An eyewitness described the monster as a ‘mutated wolf’, but visual confirmation is pending. No casualties yet, but it is believed that the monster is expanding its territory and will soon venture into human populations.

“The third assignment is referred to us by a foreign businessman. He wishes to have a hero bodyguard while in the city. The Guild has assessed that there is no elevated risk of an attack on his life, but rather that the client is more interested in showing off his status by hiring superpowered protection.”

“I see. Give me a minute to think about it.”

Becca balanced on the sidewalk next to him, arms out. “Wanna know what I think?”

“Sure, why not.”

“I think killing a monster would be kinda sexy.”

“You like the strangest things.”

She just shrugged and did a little leap over a broken bit of curb. “Judgy judgy, Mr. I-Like-Big-Boobs.”

“Says who?”

“Says your porn history, pervert. How do you think that makes us flat girls feel?”

“That’s an invasion of privacy, you know.”

“Pssh.” She made a big show of turning away from him, walking backwards while continuing to balance. When she inevitably tripped he pulled her out of the road so she wouldn’t get run over. “Okay, fine,” she said, putting her arm through his. “I’ll forgive your gross indiscretion if you kill a big bad wolf for me.”

“I was thinking I’d go for the villain, actually,” Jacob said. “Seems like an easy gig, and it’s closer. Don’t wanna have to go out into some mosquito-infested forest. It might be a good way to get my name out there, too, all out in public like that.”

“Unchivalrous! Unromantic! Uncaring!”

“Shut up. I bought you a cactus.”

This time she managed to keep up her pretend-huff for several minutes, but he just waited her out until she cracked. She’d never been any good at giving him the silent treatment.

“If you’re gonna be working in public, you’ll at least wear the costume I made you, right?” she asked when they walked in the door of the Sleeping Cat.

“Made? You bought a trench coat from a thrift store.”

“Hey! I’ve made additions!”

“Have you now? This I’ve got to see.”

The ‘additions’ consisted of a pair of black combat boots and a torn rope noose that she wanted him to wear around his neck. He wasn’t so sure about the noose, but at least it helped dispel some of the flasher energy from the no-shirt trench coat getup.

“Where’d you even get a noose anyway?” Jacob asked, tugging on the frayed bit of rope around his neck as he looked at himself in the storage room mirror.

“I tied it myself! I bought some rope and looked up a tutorial. There are tutorials for all sorts of things on the internet.”

Jacob didn’t want to ask what forums she’d been visiting to find tutorials about tying nooses.

“Now for some makeup around the eyes, and we’re all set!” Becca reached for a case of brightly pigmented powders with greedy fingers.

“Hard pass,” Jacob said, holding up a hand. “But the rest of it might work, I think.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I think it’s given me an idea for what to call myself, actually.”

“Reeeally?” She had stars in her eyes now.

“Mmhmm.”

“Is it one of mine? Is it?” She tugged insistently on his noose, and he smacked the back of her hand to get her off.

“Yes, Becca. it’s one of yours. I thought I’d go with the Hanged Man. It’s simple, but I think there’s room for good imagery there.”

“Ooh, mysterious. I like that. The Hanged Man.” She affected a deep voice for the last part, along with a mock serious expression. “Try it! Say ‘I’m the Hanged Man’.”

“I’m the Hanged Man,” Jacob said flatly.

“Do it better! More feeling!”

“I’m the Hanged Man.”

“No! Again!”

It went on like that for a while until she was satisfied with his performance.

Once he was all suited up, Jacob accepted the Iconoclast assignment from Fenway. The villain was currently active in the Blue District destroying some monument, so he hopped on a train to get there.

He got more weird looks than usual with the costume on. He pinned on the hero crest just so that people didn’t think he was some guy celebrating Halloween a few months in advance.

A trio of high-school girls pointed and giggled, but went stiff when he looked their way. After a while one of them came up to him and asked: “Are you famous or something?”

“Not really,” Jacob replied.

She asked for a picture anyway. He made sure his hand covered the ‘Trainee’ part of the crest in the photo.

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Some fat bastard in a suit laughed at the whole thing. “You’re a real scary sort, are you? Who are you, then?”

“I’m the Hanged Man,” Jacob said with the appropriate amount of mystery in his voice, just like Becca had drilled into him.

The man had an even bigger laugh at that. “You don’t say! I’m practically pissing myself.” He came up and yanked Jacob’s noose.

Jacob let him do it—teeth clenched, fists balled tight.

All part of the job. Don’t get distracted.

By the time Jacob got off at the Blue District, his fingers were itching to tear into something. He’d barely stepped off the platform when his advanced interface flashed a notification.

[ASSIGNMENT FAILED: BROKEN PRIDE]

[OBJECTIVE 1: CAPTURE ‘ICONOCLAST’, VILLAIN, ALIVE ONLY]

Optional: Complete in less than 24 hours

[REWARDS: NULL]

That stopped him dead.

Fenway came on half a minute later. “I have some bad news for you.”

“Does it have anything to do with the notification I just got?”

“Yes. Someone got to Iconoclast before you.”

“Who?”

“Starman.”

Fucking Starman. Of course.

“You didn’t think to inform me that we were both after the same guy?”

“He wasn’t, not at the time. He works quickly.”

“Right. Good, great, fantastic.”

He jogged down into the plaza where Iconoclast had been seen. A tall bronze monument stood at its center, cracked and warped and partially sunken into the earth. The place was flooded with civilians trying to catch a glimpse of the action, held back by a police cordon. Jacob climbed up to a nearby rooftop for a better view, passing a shocked couple on a balcony.

He saw a battered man in handcuffs with what looked like a red curtain for a cape—Iconoclast, presumably—being led towards an armored van by a squad of STF agents. They were fully kitted out in black riot gear and carrying machine guns.

There was no sign of Starman aside from several circular impact points of cratered paving stones around the plaza that were most likely his handiwork. Evidently, the Beacon of Arcadia had already left the scene.

Fucker thinks he can rob me of work.

Not happening.

“Fenway, change of plans. I’ll get that wolf for you.”

“Very well, Mr. Sorenson. Updating your assignment status now.”

[ASSIGNMENT ACCEPTED: PATIENT SHADOW]

[OBJECTIVE 1: CAPTURE UNIDENTIFIED WOODLAND MONSTER, DEAD PREFERABLE]

Optional: Complete before target reaches any major population center

[REWARDS: 5 000fl]

[OPTIONAL REWARDS: 5 000fl]

*****

Jacob borrowed Mr. Beau’s van to drive out of the city, following the GPS on his interface. He’d never been in the countryside much, and he found there wasn’t a lot he’d been missing out on. A lot of trees, mostly. Trees and grass and bumpy dirt roads.

I should buy a car once I have the cash, he thought to himself. Guy in a trench coat in a creepy old van doesn’t give off the best vibes.

He went onto narrower and narrower roads and saw less and less habitation until he finally turned onto a thin path that led up to a lonely farm house in the middle of a field. The house was clearly decades old, leaning in on itself with age, but reasonably well-kept, surrounded by a green lot.

A farmer in overalls and rubber boots came out to meet him once he got out of the vehicle. He had a weather-beaten face and a battered hat atop his head, but a kindly smile. He was the eyewitness who had called in about the so-called ‘demon wolf’. His story hadn’t been taken seriously until he’d submitted some material evidence to the Guild. Fenway hadn’t elaborated on what that evidence was, exactly, but clearly it had been compelling. The optional reward split suggested that the Guild really didn’t want this thing getting anywhere near people.

I just hope it’s actually real, and not some old man’s delusion.

Fenway had confirmed that if the target turned out not to exist or to be some mundane animal, Jacob would receive a fraction of the cash reward to compensate him for his time and nothing else.

“Richard, I take it?” Jacob asked, going in for a handshake.

The farmer looked him up and down, skeptical, before eventually taking his hand. “That’s right. Here about the wolf?”

“Yeah.”

“Thank God. Think you can handle it, son? This beast, it’s… unnatural doesn’t quite cover it.”

“It’ll be all right.”

“You, uh… you come armed?”

“I don’t need weapons.”

“Right. If you say so.”

The farmer’s incredulity hung heavy between them.

“Any idea where I might get started?” Jacob asked. He looked around the peaceful, sun-soaked field, an ocean of tall grass billowing in the wind, broken in the distance by the edge of a pine forest. “Nothing looks all that out of place.”

“Come.” Richard’s voice had a grim edge.

The farmer led him around the back of the house to a chicken coop. Blood and feathers inside. “Had ten chickens and a rooster three days ago. Damn beast snuffed ‘em all out in one go. Didn’t even eat half of ‘em, just killed ‘em for fun. And, eh…” He nodded towards a raised dirt mound in the yard. “My dog, Chipper. Tried to stop the beast, I suppose. Got torn clean in half, poor boy. Had him nine years.”

“And you’ve seen it with your own eyes?”

“Yes sir, I have. Wish I could get that picture out of my head. Only glimpses, at first. But then… Was the day after it killed my animals. Woke up in the night for a glass of water, went downstairs, and there it stood outside the window. Huge, black, these evil red eyes. And the way it watched me, all still…” He shook his head, spat on the ground. “There was something cunning behind those eyes. Like it was thinking of a thousand ways to put me into little pieces. The wolf’s possessed, I’m telling you. An evil spirit or something.”

“I understand. Do you know where it lives?”

“At first, when something started killing all the game, I went into the woods to track it down. Thought it was a bear. Put up traps and such. Once I saw a glimpse of it, though, I never went in them woods again.”

“Just point the way you think I might find it, and I’ll get going.”

“I’m not as cowardly as all that. Won’t let a man go risk his life all by himself. I’m coming with you.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, sir.”

“I’m the only one who knows where the traps are. I’m willing to bet a bear trap will do more’n tickle even a big strong hero like yourself.”

“Fenway, thoughts on that?” Jacob asked.

“Proceed, but be careful. Protect the civilian at all costs if you encounter trouble.”

“Understood.”

Richard went and fetched a double-barreled shotgun from the house, his pockets bulging with shells. He sprayed a healthy amount of mosquito repellant all over himself and tossed the can to Jacob, who repeated the procedure on himself.

It didn’t help much. At least not for Richard.

There were plenty of the nasty critters buzzing around them as soon as they’d crossed the field and entered the half-murk beneath the tree canopy. Richard had a cloud of mosquitoes in a perpetual orbit around him, but luckily they didn’t take much interest in Jacob. Maybe his lack of body heat made him an unattractive target. Or maybe his flesh was just a bit too tough for their liking.

They walked up a constant incline, following a circuitous game trail that was sometimes wider, sometimes narrower, and sometimes disappeared entirely. Richard kept a steady stride, always sure of their heading. He never shouldered his gun, had it tucked in the crook of his arm and ready for use at a moment’s notice. He had them go in wide circles around certain sections, and pointed out loaded triangle-toothed bear traps where they were visible.

“Are those legal?” Jacob asked, though he was already fairly confident in the answer.

Richard gave a sheepish half-shrug. “I’m used to tending problems my own way. Never much bothered with what’s legal and what’s not, long as it wasn’t hurting no one. These ones were my great grandfather’s. Kept ‘em for sentiment. Didn’t think I’d get any use out of ‘em.”

“You do you, man. I’m not judging.”

Jacob found the pieces of a rotted carcass strewn around the base of a tree, a collection of old bones with putrid scraps clinging to them. He bent down, touched a tuft of gray fur.

“There’s more of them all around here,” Richard explained. “First thing the beast did was kill its own kin. Hunted down every single one, I reckon. Doesn’t like sharing.” He spat and tongued at his gums like he had a bad taste in his mouth.

They moved on. True enough, they saw more dead animals, some fresher than others. Not just wolves, but deer and rabbits too.

“So,” Richard said once they’d been walking a while, glancing towards Jacob. “What are you supposed to be, anyway? No offense.”

“None taken. I’m the Hanged Man. There’s not much to it, I just fight good. When I—”

Something metal squealed under him.

A pair of metal jaws clamped shut around his right leg. He felt them chew through meat and crush bone, nearly severing the leg below the knee. There was a sharp wave of pain, even for him, and he let out a long, low growl.

“Oh, fuck,” Richard said, hurrying over. He took a knee and began prying at the bear trap, but didn’t make much headway. “There wasn’t supposed to be one there! I didn’t set a trap there, I swear to you.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Jacob worked out. “Just… get it off me.”

Richard nodded and kept working. Under his breath, he muttered to himself: “Wasn’t supposed to be one there… I don’t understand… Have I gone soft in the head? Aw shite, it’s all gone bad on me.”

Jacob picked up the chain attached to the bear trap and followed it to where it ended in a long spike, presumably designed to be sunk into a piece of solid material to keep it from being moved. There were bits of splintered wood stuck to the spike. Chewed up, more like.

He showed it to Richard. “I think our friend has gotten a bit creative. Moved some of the traps around on you.”

“Dear God…”

A long, distorted howl pierced the sounds of the forest, echoed out. It sounded close. Further up the incline, maybe.

“Oh fuck, oh fuck.” Richard clawed harder at the trap, only got it open a few centimeters before it slid back into place, blood-slick.

“Leave it,” Jacob said. “You run. I’ll draw its attention.”

“But—”

“Run!”

With his free foot, Jacob kicked the farmer away. He slowly got to his feet, looking around, and picked his rifle up off the ground.

“Go, or I’ll kill you myself.”

And he ran. Keeping his hat on his head with one hand, the farmer ran for his life, going back the same way they’d come. He soon disappeared among the trees.

Guess I’m the bait, then. Can’t have the monster going after him.

Jacob shouted as loud and as long as he could—until he went hoarse—to get the wolf’s attention. He managed to free himself from the trap by twisting his leg clean off, leaving it a ragged stump below the knee with bits of shattered bone poking out. He leaned against the nearest tree for support, watching blood drain out of him into the undergrowth. Slower than it would for a normal human, but still cause for concern. He’d probably bleed out if he didn’t do something.

“Fenway, don’t know how much of that you caught, but I’ve got a bit of a situation.”

He tore off a piece of his pant leg and tied up the stump as best he could with it, hoping it would stem some of the bleeding. The fabric soaked through almost instantly.

“I heard,” Fenway replied. “There is no STF team available, but I will dispatch a medical triage vehicle. They will park at the nearest accessible road and await your return. ETA is two hours, 45 minutes.”

“That’s… very helpful. Thanks.” He was too busy thinking of how not to die to come up with anything snide to say.

It was starting to get dark, too. Great.

There, up the slope, a ragged black shape came into view. Two smoldering eyes fixed on Jacob, unblinking.

He immediately knew what Richard had talked about. The cunning evil behind those eyes. Shrewd hatred. Its mouth hung open, trailing frothy drool, and its tooth-lined maw spread into what almost looked like a wild grin.

It was enormous. No wonder the farmer had assumed it was a bear. It probably weighed more than Jacob. Maybe more than two of him.

If I can lure it in close, I’ll have a chance. Just squeeze the life out of the fucking thing. Mutually assured destruction.

“Hey there, Fido,” Jacob said, forcing himself to return the killer smile in kind. “Wanna play a game?”

The wolf stopped about twenty meters off and laid down atop a mossy boulder. It placed its head between its big paws and just watched him.

Waiting, Jacob realized. Waiting for me to bleed out.

“You really are a clever one, aren’t you? Smarter than those ugly lugs I dealt with before.”

The wolf licked its lips.

Jacob was too far away for a Dash to make any difference, but he had to try. He tipped forward onto his belly and sank his fingers into the soil. He pushed off in a Dash, slid across the ground. It probably looked ridiculous, but it didn’t matter. He didn’t even make it halfway, spinning end over end and coming to a stop on his back. He flipped back over on his stomach, Dashed again towards the boulder. This time he collided against it, but when he looked up the wolf had gone. Looking around, he found it had paced over to his severed leg. It bit down on the foot and worried at it to work the limb free of the trap.

“Great. Yeah, go ahead. I didn’t need it anyway. Tastes like shit, I bet.”

Jacob could only think of one last plan. Pretend to be dead and hope the wolf came over to eat him so he could strike at it. Propped up against the side of the boulder, he gradually went still, slowed his breathing down to shallow puffs. He already looked dead. Maybe it would be enough.

But the wolf was patient. It gnawed on Jacob’s leg, content to wait out its prey. It was not fooled.

The sky darkened. Soon all he could see was those two glaring red points in a sea of black. Fenway talked to him for a bit, tried to keep him company, but her bedside manner was frankly terrible. It was not helpful.

At some point, in some shitty forest in the middle of nowhere, Jacob breathed his last breath.

And died for the second time.

The last thing he saw, before he was swallowed up by a still blacker darkness, was a single message.

[CONGRATULATIONS, PRIME CANDIDATE USER! YOU HAVE REACHED LEVEL 3]

[PLEASE ALLOCATE YOUR REWARDS]