In the weeks prior, the < Dragons > prepared for the worse.
So, it didn't take long before they were ready to leave.
Meanwhile, Ben sat on the fancy lookout observing the sky.
Melancholy drowned him.
But he didn't want to get in the way or strain himself looking at busy people preparing to fight. Instead, he just sat down and looked at the stars.
Some of his friends, the ones a bit slower to figure it out, still came by as the realization that Ben wouldn't be conscious for much longer dawned on them.
Goodbyes ensued.
And even if it wasn't about death, it felt like it.
Yet, the whole time, Ben smiled.
Melancholy aside, he was hopeful. And they also were after the last few hundred years of progress.
Eventually, Ben was left alone in this open room with Eden, overseeing the city.
As they prepared for a potential attack, the defensive layers of the city rose.
And at the center, Ben controlled it all with mastery.
As time passed, sneak attacks began.
But even after the attackers tried to breach into the city, the populace couldn't even notice.
The silent night continued.
A peaceful and safe city.
However, someone who did feel every attack was Ben.
As he strained himself, he focused on keeping all the Arrays in good shape, but it wasn't that easy, even if he made it sound like that.
After a couple of hours, Ben released most of his seal to keep a stable connection with the system.
Knowing he didn't need to care for himself afterward, Ben only focused on maximizing the time he could keep this position.
"Why do you act like this? I don't understand. Is this truly what you want?"
Eden stayed silent as he observed the people coming and going. He even remained silent as he watched Ben controlling the defensive measures. But he couldn't hold the bitterness once those words left his mouth.
"Wanting and beautifully seeking. To thirst or not to thirst for everything and a bit more? I know. But I've been acting only on my instincts. Can you even logic it?"
Ben could act decisively, but he wasn't a decisive person at heart.
Ben looked at the kid he watched grow taller and taller.
Yet, while he could reply, he didn't feel he had the necessary answers. Because in a game of guessing, how could he be sure?
"But is this what you want even after meeting dad? The miracle maker."
"I wonder. Should I want more? Or the better question, could I want more?"
"We could do more than this if only you were greedy. We don't lack goodwill. You're part of our family."
Ben turned around and looked at the city and then at the sky before looking back at Eden.
His choices had changed his appearance as his memories opened up. He couldn't hold back as his body fell apart. This city was too important to let go of it.
He wanted to play it safe, so he sent Dinna with Ginn, but he didn't know if that was the correct choice. Should his last few hours here with them be of pain and discomfort?
Deep down, Ben didn't want that. But his instinct yelled at him to do this.
So, he didn't mind going all out once again.
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Staring at the changed man, Eden recognized it. He had met this version of Ben once when they finished his training. So, for him, this felt like the only opportunity to fully ask Ben Higgs.
"I've been acting on my instincts."
Ben looked at Eden and stared. While that reply was pitifully simplistic, that was the only honest answer he had.
"At this point, you're repeating yourself."
"I don't like it, so I don't talk about it. But did you know that I'm not a unified instinct? Instead, there are conflicting instincts. And they clashed so often that I almost died due to them. And some people might hear this and not understand, but I know how dangerous those clashes are."
"So, is that why you hide within?"
"Just part of it. If I'm honest, that was a side effect. At first, it was because it helped my uncanny memory loss. And such procedure helped since the issue was that those clashes were destroying me from within. But later, I understood it. Once you draw lines inside my mind, you can see why I lived."
"So you decided to rewrite them?"
"Yes. I had a lot of time and tried everything I could. And out of everything, that worked. A random choice led me to this. The initial ritual might have allowed me to make this choice, but if I didn't walk down this path, I don't know if I would've lived."
"But can't we help with that? We can do incredible things."
"One side inside me wants that help. But that's from the side that lost."
"And you don't want to refire conflicts?"
"I think that would be illogical. I'm past that. I know what worked and how it feels to be this."
"Why?"
"Because there is some truth to that since it worked. I'm here. You're seeing me. We're talking. I've done the impossible."
"Can't we rewrite that and improve such a plan even further?"
"Kiddo, do you think I overestimate your father?"
"Often, yeah. You have a lot of trust in him, and that's why I don't understand this."
"I understand he's fit to such a path. But I don't think it's the unanimously right path. This world is weird. There is definitely something wrong with it."
"Do you think it's made-up?"
"Not only that. Looking deeper than that and hugging that instinct allowed me to live. That gave me the courage to make bets that weren't worth it."
"And you think your choice is right? Is cultivation counterproductive?"
"I don't know. But I think there is some value to saying no to those annoying instincts. This safe-seeking, self-assured obsession is not required. I don't need a core, and I don't even need a soul. I can be without those. So, I don't need to abide by those biases."
"I might be too privileged to understand."
"In addition, it's illogical because I also already burned everything I could in a fire. Do you know why your father didn't pursue it more?"
"He didn't want to pressure you?"
"Can he create a new soul?"
"No."
"Can he cut a part of this world and put it in a small container to take with him?"
"No."
"I don't think this is the word for it. But if you want to save me from my choices, that's what it takes."
Eden sighed.
"We're talking about big topics here. We would need to take me whole, then recover what I've burned merely to try to remake me. On the other hand, reinforcing my choices is easy because it worked. It sounds dumb and counterintuitive, but it worked. Look at this ghost. We can talk. I'm failing apart, but it feels fantastic."
"If I could, I would stop it."
"I know you would. But even if given another choice, I wouldn't unwillingly take it. The last thousands of years shaped me."
"I hope you're right."
Ben turned around and began looking at the stars again.
"I play with rocks by my foot while thinking about the moon. Dreaming while looking at stars, hoping those blinking dots can give me an answer while wishing I could reach for them and squeeze them.
Flirting with death, I've been living on my limit for so long. From the beginning, I confronted this wall, a so-not-magical second chance at life.
But even you will eventually hit it too. Even with our help, we can only do so much because your father will also smash into it. And let me tell you, freezing might be the only choice you'll want, but jumping is fine. And we're so small, so if nothing else works, we can also walk parallel to the wall. It might get me nowhere, but I'm going."
Talking too much made his energy unstable, so Ben focused on the defense again.
Silent filled this room again as Eden stared at Ben, who closed his eyes.
...
After a night of ceaseless attacks, the sunrise showed its first signs.
But before Ben could peak at the sun, a hand touched his shoulder.
Immediately, Ben lost control of the Defensive Array.
Laying down on the marble table and looking back, Ben saw a messy Ginn, who was so full of injuries that it was surprising he could still rob the key so easily.
At that moment, Ben knew he was right about sending Dinna, but he couldn't talk easily. So, instead, he merely laid down.
Eden walked toward them after Ginn took over the second job.
Ben's eyes stayed unfocused even while he tried looking around.
But even in the middle of the memory loss spurs, he still held into a thread of lucidness.
---
Philip Smith looked at his crying brother and held his hands tightly.
But while he wanted, he couldn't talk. He was too drugged to stay focused for too long. And too many machines attached to his face.
He didn't fear the end, but feeling it, he thought of one last thing to say to his brother.
Yet he could only squeeze George Smith's hands.
---
"W//at are you do\\ing?"
"A parting gift so that you might see better."
Putting his cup aside, Ben removed his right eye from its socket.
Despite seeing no blood, Erv still looked at his friend with terror. He wanted to act. But he couldn't because his friends from multiple lives had trapped him for the first time.
Ben felt he had wanted to add something else, but he had long forgotten about it. He didn't even know why he acted anymore, but he still did.
So, he quickly followed his planned procedure since the laws he imbued into this place wouldn't hold his b//\\\\2/ for long.
"I won't be s\\\ee////g you again."
---
Amidst this constant drowning, Ben still somehow talked.
Once he felt Ginn putting his hand on his chest and initiating the seal, an intent flourished in his heart.
A couple of weird runes flowed into Ben's mouth and moved it.
"It was not that bad," Philip Smith whispered.