"I'm too old for this shit." Ben looked at Ginn as he calmed down.

"You deal with those assholes. If I see their face again, I'm just disappearing. I don't know what you envision, but don't involve me in your idealism. In exchange, I'll limit my movements to around my laboratory. This faction might be your place, but if I don't feel welcomed: I will leave."

"Alright, I will do as you wish."

"I don't want anyone to accompany me. Leave me alone," Ben said as he left the room hurriedly.

David Ghost tried to talk, but Ginn didn't allow him to.

---

Meeting the Ghost Doctor's descendant triggered Ben into an unexpected spiral.

A surprise to many in the < Dragons > Faction since Ben emitted this feeling of being grounded and in control.

Yet, a somewhat minor issue sent him into an unstable state.

However, Ben kept working as he routinely did before the meeting. And when people went to visit him, he still talked to them. Although to the few that mentioned David Ghost, he didn't talk about the topic and sent those away.

---

"How long will this take? It's been breaking quite a bit?" Eden asked, bored.

The teenager had been waiting for Ben for a while, as he couldn't pause his work right now.

---

"How long will it take? I should've counted it. I don't know why I didn't."

Ben looked at the set-up inside this cave and couldn't believe it.

"It might work? I thought I would be dead already."

The idea that his blind instinct might work sent shivers down Ben's spine.

Although, he didn't know if his cold hands were due to it or because of the ongoing fever.

However, if he only had an ongoing fever, that would feel like the heavens, but his body was decaying.

Ben's old body dried up.

Rotting chunks of meat could be seen all over his naked body, as the multiple burned drawings couldn't hide them.

But the markings weren't only on Ben's body, as blood drawings and carvings were also around this dim-lit cave.

The cold night breeze flowed within this volcanic structure, echoing like a wolf howl.

Momentarily, Ben got out of his trance and tried to look up. But he couldn't truly see it, as his eyes stopped working long ago. However, he could still guess it was a full moon due to the little he could read using the array set on his face.

"Today would be a perfect day," Ben whispered.

His mouth was deformed, but he could still talk, as Ben kept trying to do so while trying to avoid losing his sanity completely.

"It should take a few more days, though." Ben loudly interrupted the wind howl.

His yell echoed, but there was no one here to hear him, and even he could barely hear himself. And that was for the best, as his voice had long stopped sounding like himself.

"The culmination of everything. Would they be proud of me?"

Ben kept talking as if waiting for an answer. But this small volcanic island in the middle of this ocean was unlikely to receive a visitor. And that was the reason he chose this place.

"They are all dead, unfortunately. But their children must still be around, it shouldn't be that long, so would they be proud of me? A zombie being fearless to burn it all. But it might work. How can this work? How am I alive?"

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Feeling an overwhelming amount of pain, Ben knew he was still alive.

Even if his thought became a mess, he could still make sense of his existence. He was still somewhat himself since he didn't become part of the void as he tried to.

"Did no one ever try this?" Ben was confused.

Going back into his working trance, Ben walked around reinforcing the ritual.

He might not be able to see or hear, but he could feel the ritual surrounding him.

So, he walked to the weak spots and pointed his palm at them. Following the marks on his arm twisted it, and a small amount of black liquid flowed out of his palm while sounds of bone crackling filled the cave.

Ben stayed alive as a controlled small flame burned inside him.

And he burned everything: his life, his soul, his memories, his fate, his blood.

But the process wasn't slow because Ben wanted it. He would prefer something quick and painless, but perhaps the world agreed with the other part of his instinct. And as a consequence, it tried to make this experience hell as a punishment.

"I went mad, didn't I?" Ben looked at his completed reinforcement.

As time passed, the work needed to reinforce it became less and less, so Ben guessed in a couple of years, he wouldn't need to act anymore.

"But I wonder why the world didn't burn me instantly. Am I required to go into reincarnation? It feels like a should, but it doesn't feel like a must. But why am I reacting like this? So much of it doesn't make sense."

Unfortunately, as soon as Ben walked back to the center of the ritual, he felt another earth shake. Not every damage to the creation was due to his location. But this time, the damage to the arrays was due to the building pressure from the volcano.

But not reacting surprised at all, Ben walked around again, fixing everything.

He was never surprised this kept breaking, but he was surprised the volcano didn't explode on his face already. If that happened, there was no way for his weak set-up to absorb all that energy, which would be his end.

While this chimera set-up out of mixed rituals kept working, every extra day shocked Ben.

This ritual might be his life project, and he might have spent all his brains planning it. But it had been a long time since Ben lost his main-character syndrome, so he didn't hold high hopes.

And how could he? He only built an amalgamation out of cheap and widespread techniques. And he even included some questionable and inefficient evil practices as the engine for it. Those that he should have instead burned long ago.

The only noteworthy aspect present was that Ben had modified everything not to accept sacrifices from outside.

Even the volcano below him served as only a stabilization device for the arrays on the floor.

Ben wasn't cultivating either, as he had burned that as a foundation with everything else he was willing to give up.

But that was when something unexpected happened, as the sacrifice of his soul seed failed. Despite the many evil groups succeeding at sacrificing others, he couldn't do it to himself.

Ben didn't initially want to do it either, but after struggling over the years, he eventually arrived at that conclusion. Despite the clashing instincts, he chose the void.

But not this kind of void, as he suffered under some moonlight.

Ben didn't want to feel such an amount of pain like he couldn't even imagine.

Ben didn't want to fear sinking into the ground and slowly stop thinking after suffering for a few centuries.

He didn't want to slowly have a spotted mind, either, since his memories were the only thing he valued somewhat.

Yet he was still here, as something broke inside him once the ritual began.

He never felt so sure of doing something he didn't want to.

And even if when he walked around while experiencing his state in full splendor, Ben felt like giving up and sending himself off to his next life, he still chose not to.

After something broke inside his mind, Ben became fixated on this foolish feeling of rebellion.

"Madness feels beautiful," Ben whispered.

As Ben felt the slow progress of the ritual again, he smiled. He knew he could hold for a while if the set-up didn't break completely. And perhaps something would change once he unrooted his deep soul-self seedling from his memories.

"Nope. Not going to college!" He yelled.

It was silly, and he knew it. But Ben felt that this feeling was what he was supposed to experience as a rebelling teenager, which he never went through due to his conditions.

So, giggling alone, Ben enthusiastically waited to see how screwed he was.

---

The arrays in the room reacted quickly, just long enough for Ben to refocus on his work again.

"Is this really okay?" Eden asked, worried.

"Nope. I know you'll offer help again, but come back if you get to modify reality completely. Until then, I can only prolong the inevitable."

"We can help you cultivate. I don't get it why that wouldn't help."

"I don't fit on such molds."

"Why?"

"I chose to be neither."

"What can we choose?"

"You can be a < rocket > or manipulate the world into a continent-size volcano. For the latter, it'll shoot you off into space due to the explosion. But you'll need to use another continent as a layer of protection."

"Is the second thing a reference to world refinement?"

"You're getting good at this."

"I don't get it. What are you, then? I would've guessed you were a rocket."

"What am I?"

While recalling the answer, Ben noticed a bunch of lost memories that not long ago were still there.

"What did I choose? I'm not sure. But if this isn't being a prick, what is?"

"Ben, I'm only more confused," Eden replied while putting his hands on his head and laying it on the table.

Yet, Ben only smiled.

---

"BOdd\\ityen, I'm only more confused," Pel replied, putting his hands on his head and laying it on the table.

Yet, H/B\\en /,

---

Ben surprisingly fell into another memory loss spur not long after. However, his eyes this time around didn't regain focus as quickly.

Due to him staying absentminded, the work surrounding Ben began falling apart.

Eden yelled and tried to hold as much as he could. But it was to no avail, so the last few days of progress failed again despite the further preparations.