"Oh, you came back?" Ben talked to Syd.
"Did you find food? For you to run away like that." He added.
And at the side, Yukk slightly raised his eyebrows.
"Do you have a pet now?" He smiled.
"Just giving the little guy a ride."
---
"Do you have a child now?" Ben's supervisor asked since this was the first time he saw the teenager around.
"Just giving the little guy a ride. He was a bit too lost working here."
"How thoughtful of you. But isn't it too dangerous if the newcomer goes to your area?"
"It actually wasn't my idea. We live close by, and we talk a lot. But it was Claude who asked for this. This guy was going deeper when alone, and people were a tad bit afraid. And since I'm comfortable enough with this job, I accepted it."
"Kiddo, it's your good luck. Despite being here for only two years, Higgs is already one of the top explorers."
"Is it true? But he doesn't go that deep at all!"
"Dead people tell no stories. Nor do they bring back materials."
At 26 years old, Ben Higgs failed to enter any Sect. So he ended up working as a dungeon explorer.
While he had a home to go back to, he acted like he was avoiding it.
"But how can he hit the jackpot?"
"He doesn't, but he lives. Do you wanna live or die on your search for Spirit Cores?"
"I lived too!"
"I wonder how. But it's not like you brought anything with you, either. So you must have been very careful and wasted the whole time shaking your legs."
"Ben, I didn't! I explored the deepest part and survived!"
"Then, what did you bring with you?"
The 16-year-old pouted and didn't answer.
"Exactly. Listen, I know you're taking care of your sister and even sending help to your mom back in our hometown. But what if the only news they get is that you likely died. LIKELY! No bones. No Spirit Cores. No fortune. Just some vague tragic news."
"But..."
"I know. Yet, it's hard. So remember the people you love when you feel too adventurous. And you're already stronger than me, so please learn what you can about being careful, and then you can go slightly deeper."
"Alright." The teenager gave up arguing since he knew how hard it was to come out alive.
"I didn't know you were from the same hometown."
"Yeah. An incredible coincidence."
"Kiddo, are you going to apply for some Sect?"
"He chose not to because he thinks it takes too long to become rich."
The supervisor laughed loudly at such absurdity.
"Come on! I'm right. Out of everyone, Ben is the one sending back the most."
"Kiddo, that's because he's too frugal! And he overworks himself into bed every three months."
"What?"
"Everyone at his age that got into a Sect likely makes more. But they also waste more on appearance and cultivation. So they end up postponing the help sent back home."
A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.
"Wait... Ben!"
"What? I told ya, but your ears don't work."
---
"Sir, are your ears not working?"
"Just lost on thought, sorry. Like I was saying, I am bringing Syd to a new home. And I can not have a pet since it is quite dangerous."
Noticing the signs, Ben focused on rooting himself in the present.
'Well, it seems effective. But it's sad, getting overly detached.'
He was afraid those events were becoming more frequent, so he had already strengthened his dissociation from his past.
"Oh, he's really cute. Aren't they overly smart too?"
"Yep. And Syd is even above the average. I'm always impressed by him."
"Wow! Alright. I'll choose a home that's also a good home for your friend."
"That would be great. With that, I can focus on writing."
Noticing the slight change in the elder mood, Yukk didn't pursue the matter. However, he remembered that Dinna mentioned something similar in her report.
---
Once the Dragons decided to provide Ben with a house, it didn't take long. Soon enough, Ben was in a comfortable place, ready to work. However, the first thing he did was procrastinate while waiting for the materials he asked for.
So after finalizing the preparations, he sat down and removed a book from his chest.
Following, he continued to read ["Insights"] from where he stopped.
He had been reading it bit by bit over the weeks while he traveled on foot. And now he was almost at the end. He could finally finish reading it in one go.
So at his side, he already had some spirit alcohol to drown his emotions. Whenever he read this book, that was his helper.
With everything ready, Ben quickly focused on his reading.
However, as he arrived at the end of the book, Ben could clearly sense that the words had no energy, no extra insight. Those few closing words were just what they looked like: words. And that surprised him.
[... Now that I'm dying.
Having more time never made time less valuable.
Having more strength never made strength less needed.
Having more insights never fully satiated me.
I have answers to questions I would preferably never ask. And I have several questions to which I'll never get answers.
So I can only finish this book as it all started.
Once upon a time, I was watching.
One was raging, the other so calm. And I asked myself: What if? Then I interrogated them and everyone else. I sought answers to all kinds of questions.
Later, surprisingly, both my brothers inquired me the same thing while on their deathbeds: "If you could go back in time, what insight would you give me?"
Maybe they were curious about my achievements. Or perhaps, they were trying to handle their doubts and regrets.
However, both times I didn't have an answer. And I couldn't give one, even if I had. I was crying.
I was sobbing like a mess. So old but so lost. My mouth couldn't make sounds that made sense. And I could only hold their hands tight.
So for them, I wrote this book. But my brothers are long dead, and I'm dying, so does it even matter? Yet, I still wrote it, trying to answer the last question they asked me since they answered so many dumb questions I asked them.
I wanted to answer them: One can either rage brightly against the river of time or sit tight on a fragile raft and wait for the current to erode everything. Not much difference, as both try so hard to reach slightly farther, searching for something. While simultaneously hoping to have something to search for.
Yet, if I went back to that moment, I would still give them the same thing: a shower of tears.
I loved them.
Goodbye.
By Chloe.]
Ben could only sigh at this ending.
After he carelessly closed the book, Ben threw it on the table.
Ben took another bottle from the package he had bought. And ignoring the glass at the table, he gulped down the whole bottle in one go.
The bottle left his hand next and rolled on the floor, empty.
Ben laid his head on the table, closing his eyes. There, he stayed, forcefully emptying his mind.
He didn't want to lose control.
The first time he touched a copy of ["Insights"], Ben thought something else would be in that closing section.
He hoped that as she wrote her conclusion, she would also have left her impressions and maybe some last insight. However, to Ben's surprise, he found less and less energy as the book got closer to the end.
After spending hours in that position, Ben finally raised his head again.
Opening his eyes, they were red.
And after looking around, he stared at Syd.
At this moment, he noticed that the little creature ate to its heart content and fell deeply asleep.
'Acceptance or giving up? Should I be disappointed? Indeed, what would I find in the end? Eternal silence? Nothing? Everything? What do I even want?'
In the past, Ben always thought that reading the book in its deeper form would bring with it another level of insight. However, the experience he found was rather depressing.
'Am I overly sensitive? I didn't hear that others had this kind of experience. People tend to love this book, finding it inspirational.'
However, for Ben, it felt depressing.
It saddened him when he compared those words to the marks left behind by Chloe. And above all, it was distressing to see fewer and fewer insights given as the pages went by, culminating at the end where he found no energy.
Ben sighed again. He couldn't do much else.
"It feels more like a depressed diary. So insightful~..."
Next, trying to occupy his mind, Ben decided to act on what he planned.
So, he stored the book and everything else useless away. And after cleaning the table, he took out some writing materials.
He began working on the intel he promised.
---
"Wait! Eloise, are you going there now?" Yuri ran out of the room and asked.
"Yes. Did a new issue sprout up?"
"No. My brother told me to give you this."
"Oh, more of what Ben asked us?"
"Yes, with this, it should be around half."
Receiving the container, Eloise transferred the contents to the package she had.
Having everything in a single small box, Eloise left while smiling brightly.
Wherever she passed, people noticed her overly bright mood. And by now, most in the house knew the reason: her benefactor was in this city.