Ben found some of his belongings inside his cottage as he left them. But there was not much inside, and there was nothing of value.
So, he didn't move any of the boxes. He didn't even try to deal with the dust. He just took a shovel and left.
Outside, he wavered at Syd, who was running around with the other squirrels.
Ben then began digging at the place from his memory.
'I'm so tired of this humming inside my head. It'll get worse soon too, and I'm not looking forward to that.'
While digging, the creatures came from time to time and talked to Ben.
After slowly digging for a while, Ben finally saw the box he recalled once he dug two feet deep.
'Holy moly, my heart.'
His heart rate increased while spending time close to this box, which caused his anxiety to skyrocket.
But focusing on not making any mistake, Ben calmly widened the hole first before finally trying to open his time capsule.
'Is this a show?' Ben looked at the squirrels surrounding him.
They were all curiously looking at the human while feeling a strange attraction to something inside the box.
Ignoring the audience, Ben removed the lid carefully and began perusing the items inside.
He saw what he left behind, a box filled with basic materials. From money to medicine, and most stuff in-between.
'Compared with how much I spent lately, this seems like a joke.'
However, while most of the objects inside were meaningless right now, Ben came here for just one item. So he went directly for it.
He removed an item enveloped with a discolored green towel.
Uncovering it, he found another smaller box. And quickly opening it, Ben found inside even more fabrics.
'Ah, my heart.'
Ben sweated profusely, his hands shaking.
'Should I really do this? Should I?'
Ben closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
"I should. I need to."
Ben held the fabrics after opening his eyes again and began unfolding them.
He felt the vibrations in sync with his heart, which caused him to become colder and colder.
Once seeing the piece he left behind in the open, his eyes began watering.
"It was so difficult to cut you off. Getting used to that will be difficult."
In his hand, a small piece of dark matter vibrated slightly. It looked exactly like his inside, and it was. However, he had successfully cut this piece of his heart thousands of years ago with the help of the Mortez Clan.
At that time, Ben chose to pursue such a drastic process because he saw no other way out. His complete body agonized him too much due to his high sensitivity toward the world. And it was a painful experience that brought him no benefit.
"I ain't looking forward to sensory overload. But this feels like my only hope." With this, Ben hoped he would be sensitive enough to track the anchors.
Sitting there while being bombarded with memories from that time, Ben strengthened his determination and chose not to wait anymore.
So, he took the piece, smaller than his fist, brought it to his mouth, and then gulped it down in one go.
Ben's chest convulsed when the object arrived in the middle of his esophagus. As a result, he held onto his chest and placed his head on his thigh. But fortunately, the process was quick and took less than a minute to finish.
Once the pain of tearing and reconstructing his body faded, Ben immediately began drowning in his senses.
"Yep. As bad as before. I hate this."
Ben felt blinded as he lost the ability to use his refined soul to have a good read of his surroundings.
The overstimulation was so high that he couldn't even feel the squirrels around him if he closed his eyes.
Fortunately, there was one extra positive aspect to this choice. Ben instantly healed the damage caused by the assassination a few months ago.
The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.
And with his recovered soul, the seal around his left hand strengthened too.
Looking at his left arm, Ben smiled. After much working on it after he left the < Dragons > base, he regained some of his arm's functionality. And although it felts like a prosthesis, this was better than nothing.
He was also prepared for the sensory overload as he had already disabled multiple pain sensors and stabilized his mind.
So he didn't waste much time and placed the small container inside the big box.
Immediately after, he removed his shirt and extracted some items from his chest pack.
Ben carefully organized the box with its new additions, which included the space-attuned horn and the poorly refined Hedril.
He put inside all the projects he was working on and only kept some Spirit Stones with him.
Looking at his failed projects, Ben felt insecure about the future. Even now, he didn't want to part from his useless wand, his worthless seeding, and the worn piece of fabric.
'I miss my walking stick, too, but I destroyed it, and I don't even know why.'
Leaving behind items he carried for thousands of years, Ben felt the weight of his choice.
'I feel as if I'm a kid abandoning his toys. After I met Ginn, so many of my feelings slowly came back. Yet, being numbed made things so much easier, though. So I miss that.'
Once he finished storing everything, including some of the less valuable stuff he had carried around, Ben closed to box.
He acted in a hurry since he didn't want to stick around and keep pouting.
---
"Why do you look so sad? Stop pouting. Your best friends marry today!"
Ben sat on the ground in somewhat fancy clothes against a tree trunk.
"I'm not pouting! I'm lost in thought since the kids grow up so fast."
"You sound just like my mother." Daniel joked. His attire was identical to Ben's.
"That's a compliment since her voice is amazing."
"But you don't have the tone, only the annoyance," Daniel said as he leaned against a low wall.
"You're being quite cheeky for someone running away so soon."
"I'm not going anywhere, so stop with your scrutiny."
"And I know who you are eloping with."
"Sure, dude, sure. At least, I'm not a groomsman in the marriage of someone I love."
But Ben didn't respond snarkily this time around.
"You're already 19 years old."
"So are you."
"You shouldn't hesitate so much, Daniel. Bruno might run away without you."
"You know so much about other people's lives. But why don't you take care of yourself?"
"I do. You might think I'm bitter about the marriage, but I'm just feeling a bit of melancholy."
"I don't get you. Why didn't you even confess?"
"Did you know Bernard asked the same thing?"
"Really? When? He had the courage? You're so scary."
"Before asking Mari to be his girlfriend."
"Way back then? So he wasn't blind. I'm surprised."
"You don't give our friend enough credit. He's smart and talented."
"It's your fault since you always act like we're dumb kids."
"You are."
"What did you say? Isn't that the point of mentioning him? Don't go around the bushes."
"If things don't work out outside, come back. The village might hold prejudices, but if you tie the knot and show you can not depend on them, I think they can easily get used to it."
"Don't change the subject. What did you say to him?"
"It's not love, love. It's not that kind of love. I said I felt the same towards everyone, including Bruno."
"Don't you dare!"
"Exactly. I feel attached, but I don't feel possessive. Would I have married Marillia if she loved me that way? Very likely since I couldn't say no, but neither would I say no to you or even Bernard. But she doesn't, nor do any of our friends."
"You're weird."
"I take that as a compliment."
"No wonder you don't explain to anyone."
"It's hard, indeed."
"Are you really okay? It still feels like you're pouting, which is so out of character."
"It's your fault, too. I'm envious since I feel like I can't be normal."
"I love you."
"I know, but you wouldn't elope with me."
"Hell no."
"See. It's hard."
"But neither would you."
"Exactly. It's hard. Maybe I should grow some plants, get a few cats, and become Uncle Ben already."
"That sounds exactly like something you would do and enjoy."
"I know, I know, and that makes me bitter. Why are you crying? Shouldn't I be the one sad?"
Daniel tried to say thanks, but his words weren't intelligible.
He might act like he didn't know, but Ben wasn't blind, so he stood up and hugged his friend. Ben knew how his friend had been feeling lately and hated it.
Being embraced tightly, Daniel sobbed.
"It's hard, isn't it?"
Daniel only hummed, agreeing.
"You shouldn't hesitate," Ben whispered while hugging his friend.
"I'll also leave and try things out there. There are places to visit and people to meet. And if things don't work, we can always come back. We only have to learn whatever we can and save some money. Our loved ones might be sad for a while, but they'll get used to it. And we shouldn't live for them anyway, as those are our lives, not theirs. So focus on being happy."
Ben said nothing else for a while as he hugged his friend until he stopped crying.
Once his friend finally calmed down, Ben let go of Daniel.
"That's swollen." Ben chuckled.
"Thanks."
"No worries. You should go cry with Bruno next."
"We did. I feel like we've been crying for months."
"I know. But that isn't bad."
"How do you know everything?"
"I don't. But I do know that you need to clean your face so we can go to some marriage. Crying in our alone time is fine, but sometimes the world doesn't wait for us, so we must act even if we aren't sure."
"Don't hesitate?" Daniel asked, smilling.
"Maybe a bit is fine, but don't let your life slip through your fingers."
Ben tapped his friend's shoulder and began walking out.
"Maybe you shouldn't hesitate, either."
Ben stopped and looked back at Daniel. He felt this guy wasn't being specific this time around. And the vagueness surprised him.
Ben sighed.
"I fear having too many regrets. But I already regret growing up. Yet we can't avoid it. We can't stay running around aimlessly forever. Our bodies became rigid already. Soon our parents will grow old. Our peers will have children. And what will I be doing? Will I still feel lost? What about you? Will you still be frozen in fear?"
Daniel felt a pang in his heart due to Ben's cold eyes, so he squeezed his chest.
"Time shows no mercy. The more we live, the more it'll seemly pass faster. We won't regret things more, but small stuff will stack up. Yet while knowing is easy, having the courage to jump? Not so much. But I know I will. Even if I'm slow, I will. And I know how you all look at me, but don't copy me, or you'll regret it, so instead, live your life. And perhaps, while doing so, try not to die so soon. That's what I'll be doing."
Ben smiled brightly, and that scared Daniel even more.
"Alright, I was going to say this later, but I'll promise you one thing right now. That'll be my present to both of you. If you both come back to die at this shithole while still being together at that time, I swear I'll put you both in the same grave, even if I have to break every elder's leg."
Ben looked at his stunned friend as his expression slowly went back to normal. His usual joking tone wasn't present, nor was his tendency to overly explain his thought.
"I will. So let's go," Ben said, turning around again.