YUKINA AYLING-CHORYTH

I was pleased with the outcome of the battle from a personal perspective. I had grown so strong, and the difference in strength since I had awakened as an Arcane compared to my unawakened self was like night and day.

My strength was evident during our battle at Forlon plains, as I was able to face knights, and take them down on my own. In the first part of the battle, the result of the confrontation was a lot easier than I had anticipated when I took on the first knight. The second knight I faced posed more of a challenge. I struggled a bit, but I still emerged victorious in the end.

I didn’t have a lot of arsenal at my disposal unlike casters, but thankfully Phantom Steal was more than enough. It got even better, and I discovered that there was a lot more to it than I initially thought. In the past, I only managed to wield it by cutting through spells or draining mana from my opponents. But now, it got a lot more interesting upon the discovery that I became immune to spells conjured against me.

I discovered this ability before we left for the Northern Republic. And after studying this newfound ability for a while, I had a rough idea of how it worked. I understood that my Feel was able to not only drain mana away from my opponents, but was able to process the mana in such a way that it gave me a short-lived protection against spells originating from that mana source. It was a new experience for me, and I was a bit sloppy with it when I tried to integrate it with the other abilities I wielded efficiently. But I managed just fine.

I was happy. I felt powerful, and for the first time in my life, I was constantly washed by a soothing sense of satisfaction. I wasn’t perfect; I knew I had flaws. But I also recognized my strength. I could proudly stand alongside Svan, Evren, and Mom, without feeling inferior or left-behind.

***

Duskenfell had completely fallen to the Azkhans, who had total control of the region. The battle was won, but the war still raged. Lord Tulika was arrested, and his fate rested in General Vayr’s hands. It’d been a week since the battle, and everything seemed normal; a stark contrast to the ongoing war. Vayr was very good at this; maintaining a semblance of calm amid the chaos, much like he had done in the Southern Republic. Somehow, he has been able to convince the people of Duskenfell that there was no cause for panic, and no harm would come to them if they followed the rules he imposed. He wasn’t being authoritarian, but was able to exert just enough influence to keep the situation under control.

The politics and economics of the situation were none of my business; my job was to fight when called upon. However, the situation was still volatile, so it meant I had other duties other than fighting. The first battle was a victory, but the Azkhans lost nearly all their lieutenants, so they needed reinforcements. Transportation wasn’t burdensome anymore. There was a long distance transport gate that connected Duskenfell to the Southern Republic, Academroth to be precise. So, it wouldn’t pose any difficulty for reinforcements from Azkhan to arrive. Before they did, however, we had to hold down the region.

Svan and I were assigned to Conton. A city that shared borders with Scalzhar and Feywild. We didn’t have to do much. Our mere presence was enough to establish some authority. A few Azkhan soldiers patrolled the city in shifts, while the rest were stationed at the borders to ensure that nothing unusual occurred.

Svan and I resided at the city’s council building, and so far, our stay at Conton had been uneventful. We sat lazily in a room that opened to a large balcony, offering a perfect view of the city from high above. It had unknowingly become our favorite spot in the building.

I looked in Svan’s direction, and he sat on a cushioned chair, toying mindlessly with his dagger. He had changed so much in a short span of time. Whenever I looked at him, there was a person I hoped to see, there was a face I expected to look back at me, but it wasn’t there anymore. The Svan I knew was gone; the Svan that always obsessed over me, the one that lit up with excitement whenever I told him to spar with me, that Svan was gone.

“You will kill me with your eyes at this rate,” he said to me.

I didn’t realize that he was observing me too. Of the many things I wanted to say to him, the words,

“Are you alright?” Slipped out first.

He looked at me with an expression on his face that gave away the fact that he was caught off guard. He opened his mouth almost immediately to give a response to the question—a seemingly straightforward one, but paused, realizing it was more complex than it appeared.

After a long silence, he looked at me and said slowly,

“Why? Do I look not okay?”

“I don’t know, both of us might have different interpretations of being okay, but what is certain is that you have changed…. a lot.”

“Just now, did you notice the shift in your tone? There used to be a cheerfulness I always saw in you whenever I looked at you, but now, I can’t find it anymore. You seem to be burdened by something, something dark that even I am scared to confront. I’m not scared of you, but I do worry about the changes you are going through. Yet, no matter what, you are still my brother—my little brother, and that will never change.”

His response took me by surprise; he spoke with a smile on his face.

“Do you remember when I used to pester you to marry me? Who would’ve guessed you were my biological sister? Looking back, those days were fun. I wasn’t happy, but they were fun. I always whined about not manifesting my Feel, how useless I felt, and you always comforted me one way or the other. Now, I have everything I ever wanted, but it came at a price. You call it darkness, but I beg to differ. I don’t think I’m consumed by darkness. I’m not evil. I can tell right from wrong. I’m conscious of my actions. Love hasn’t disappeared from my life; I love you, I love Mom, I love Evren, and even Father—in my own way. But it’s very difficult to describe what I feel. Everything that has happened to me so far, has led me to a place where solitude feels golden. The fuel of excitement within me is slowly burning out, and honestly, I’ve genuinely lost interest in a lot of things. The only time I feel alive is when I fight; when I fight people who are strong….really strong. But that immersive moment of vitality is always short-lived. The rush is always fleeting because when the fight is over, everything fades away, like it has been consumed by an insatiable emptiness, one I have no control over.”

I could only stare at him, awestricken. Of all the changes he’d undergone, the way he now spoke was the most astonishing. Still awestricken, I managed to process everything he just said and came to a conclusion,

“It’s darkness, Svan. You are slowly being consumed by it. And with enough time, you will lose your sense of self.”

He paused for a bit, then asked,

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“If what you are saying is true, then whose fault is it?”

I didn’t know what to say in response. He wasn’t wrong. He didn’t choose to be born the way he was, neither did he choose what abilities he wielded. He didn’t choose this war too; one way or the other the war would have gotten to him. I too, struggled to control the bloodlust triggered by my Arcane nature during battle, but thankfully, I wasn’t consumed by it as it almost always disappeared when the dust settled.

“But I still think you are wrong, Yukina,” Svan continued.

“If I am being honest with you, I have tapped into something otherworldly, something that transcends us, so I know they exist—people, beings, and realms, that possess more power than we can ever imagine. I want to go to those places, and I want to meet those people. The changes you are noticing stems from dissatisfaction. I don’t feel content with the world around me anymore.”

After reflecting on what he said for a while, I asked him,

“To what end, Svan? When you get there, when you meet them, what comes next? Would you feel accomplished? Would you become happy then?”

“I don’t know. There is no guarantee that I will get to meet them, or reach those impossible places. It’s very possible that I could die in the next battle; I can’t be so sure. I just tried to make you understand why I’ve become this way. At the moment, it just feels impossible for me to return to the old and naive Svan. Even that Svan has always been curious about these things, but it was easy for him to give up on his curiosity because he had no means to explore them. Now, everything is different. Even if I tried to ignore all of it, I would still be dissatisfied with myself. One way or the other, I will be stuck in this cycle. The only thing I can control is the choices I make, and the choice I’ve made is to chase the unknown.”

His words struck deep, forcing me to reflect on myself. I realized that we shared a somewhat similar mindset, but our goals were completely different. I never imagined myself living a quiet, or peaceful life, like some country-side girl. I preferred a life filled with thrill, suspense, and adventure. But unlike him, I wasn’t bothered by the things he talked about. Whether other beings or realms existed, they were irrelevant to me. I didn’t seek the cause, or the reason for any situation I found myself in. I was only concerned on how the situation affected me, managing it as I saw fit. I lived each day, one at a time. I wasn’t complacent, but my goals were within reach; they weren’t unrealistic or unreasonable.

Svan wasn’t crazy; he made a lot of sense. In fact, I agreed with everything he said. But I wasn’t in his shoes, and I couldn’t feel what he felt. So, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t bring myself to a proper understanding of why he chose to lead his life in this path, or the experiences that led him here.

I looked at him, and I could see an unwavering determination behind the discontent etched on his face.

I let out a sigh, and then suddenly, a scream, releasing my pent up frustration. I didn’t even know why I felt that way—why I felt irritable. I couldn’t piece my thoughts together; they were all suspended in my head. I found myself torn between deciding on what was best for me and what kind of life to lead. I began to regret why I asked Svan if he was okay; perhaps I should have just let him be. But that was practically impossible. I couldn’t just ignore Svan. He was my little brother, and I’ve loved him that way since the first day I laid my eyes on him. We shared a bond so strong that made it impossible for me to just ignore him, or pretend not to care about his affairs. Now, his ideals had thrown me into a conflicting spiral. He has somehow managed to spark a doubt in me, and I couldn’t help but ask myself if I was leading my life the right way. On a second thought, I asked myself,

“Does any such thing like ‘the right way’ exist?”

My scream got him startled, and he asked me calmly,

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s pointless,” I thought inwardly.

Even if Svan decided to embark on questionable things henceforth, I would still stand by him. Even if he became a villain, I might question his morals, but I knew I wouldn’t do much trying to stop him. In the end, I would simply become an accomplice of his.

Maybe the bond we shared was a curse, or maybe it was something else that I didn’t understand. In the past, I would have argued that I stuck by him to protect him. Now, it was different. He doesn’t need my protection, yet I couldn’t see myself leaving his side.

I decided to give up on the swirling thoughts in my head. I realized that, maybe it was always meant to be this way for me. Our ideologies were very different, but with that mindset of his, I was in for an unending adventure—there was no way I was letting him have all the fun alone. The only difference was that I wasn’t burdened by it like he was, but it was fine. If a time should come when he needs help, I will be right there ensuring he gets all the help he needed.

“Yukina, are you alright?” Svan asked again.

“I’m fine,” I replied, forcing a smile on my face.

“Why did you scream then?”

“It’s one of those moments when you go crazy for a bit, then you let it out and feel better,” I replied, chuckling.

Svan smiled, and It was relieving to see him smile.

“Did what I say drive you crazy?” He asked.

“Yes, it did. But you know, I’ve made peace with it, so it’s fine. Let’s talk about the current situation of the war. I would rather have that conversation than indulge that crazy mindset of yours,” I mocked.

“Crazy? Aren’t you taking it too far?” He asked.

“No. Not at all. In fact, that’s as close as it gets.”

“Oh? Okay, I will show you what crazy looks like, he said,” charging at me.

He tried to tackle me, but I was quick to react, flipping him onto the ground instead. As he fell, he pulled me with him, using a spell he conjured.

“You cheat!!” I called laughing, as we fell.

“Who made the rules?” He replied giggling.

I wrestled him on the ground, but he easily pushed me off him. Then, he dragged me by my feet, and after a brief scramble, got behind me, locking me between his legs. With one arm, he reached around my neck, and with the other, he pushed against the back of my neck. I laughed, triggering my stillbring, rendering the choke ineffective. He pushed me away and we couldn’t stop laughing.

Maybe I was worried for nothing. This version of Svan wasn’t dead after all. We could still have fun if the situation permits, and that was a good thing.

We were interrupted by a knock on the door,

“Who?” I inquired.

“An urgent message, Commander,” a voice responded.

I let him in, before asking him,

“What’s the matter?”

“There is a gathering mob at the city square, and it’s turning into a violent confrontation,” he replied.

“What triggered the mass action?” I asked.

“During our routine patrols, a soldier got into an altercation with an Imperial loyalist, leaving him injured.”

“So you gave them a reason to incite a mob,” I concluded.

“No, Commander. Altercations and skirmishes between our soldiers and Imperial loyalists are common here, and we’ve been doing our best to contain the situation. This mob would have gathered one way or another. It was just a matter of time,” he said in defense.

“Alright, you can leave now. We will be there shortly.”

“Commander,” he bowed, before leaving.

Most of the soldiers here were stationed at the borders, so there were only few of them patrolling the city. It was understandable why the mob that gathered were brave enough to assemble—they could overpower the few soldiers with sheer numbers.

“What should we do?” I asked Svan.

“No idea. But we will figure out something when we get there,” he replied.

***

It was loud. We were told that the mob boasted at least three hundred men. They were all casters, mostly adventurers. I couldn’t understand what they were trying to achieve. It was either bravery or sheer stupidity, but I inclined to the latter. The soldiers made way for us through the barricade they had created, and we walked through, bringing ourselves right in front of the mob.

“They don’t look like they would be reasoned with,” Svan remarked.

“That’s fine. I am not good at reasoning with people either,” I admitted.

A man approached us, flexing two axes he wielded. He was big, tall, and muscular, with scars criss-crossing his bare torso and back.

“Is he trying to look scary?” I scoffed.

We let him get close, and surprisingly, he swung his axe in my direction. I thought he was coming to make demands, or at least clarify their intent, but I guessed wrong. His attempt wasn’t successful, as his arm fell off as quickly as he raised it. Blood splattered on my face, but I didn’t bother to wipe it off. It wasn’t my doing. I would have let him have his shot and made him realize how futile it was, but it seemed Svan had other ideas.

The man was stunned, too stunned to process the pain of the injury, as he stared at his severed arm. I grabbed his other arm, and ripped it clean off him, and he fell with a thud. His arm wasn’t heavy, but I dragged it along as I walked closer towards the crowd which had gone silent, with Svan following closely.

“Who else wants to join him?” I asked, pointing at the dead man using his severed arm.

No one made a sound.

“That’s what I thought,” I voiced.

“Arrest them,” I ordered, as we turned and left.