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HEAVENS FEEL
14. SHACKLES OF RESPONSIBILITY

14. SHACKLES OF RESPONSIBILITY

EVREN CHORYTH

I had just finished having my bath, walked out of the washroom, and stood in front of a large mirror in my room, staring at myself.

“Hello there,” I said to my reflection.

I found myself smiling, something I rarely did, and if it was a skill that required learning, I would have forgotten how to do it long ago. I stretched my right hand, reaching for the mirror. I tried to touch my reflection as if it was animate and not just an image of myself as I used my fingers to draw lines on the misty mirror, tracing the water that trickled from my wet brown hair down to my body. I guess I was just bored.

“Evren the phoenix,” I said softly, giggling afterward.

I was tired of trying to constantly live up to my father’s expectations, but I wasn’t left with any other choice either. The life I was leading was forced upon me, and I lived it pretending to be someone I wasn't. I was gradually losing who I really was, and I didn’t know how much longer I would have to continue wearing the façade I had adorned myself in. The truth was, I wasn’t sure if I was ever going to remove it.

I wished I had someone I always talked to and opened up to, someone who would always comfort me whenever things got difficult, but there wasn’t anyone of such, or rather, I made sure that there wasn’t such a person because I didn’t want to appear weak.

Sometimes I wanted to cry my heart out, but I couldn’t shed a single tear because I always reminded myself that all my tears had been used up the day mom died. I became distant from everyone, became cold.

Yukina could have been just the person I needed, but I couldn’t bring myself to open up to her. She was someone I regarded as my sister, and even though it felt like we were always going up against each other, I knew I loved her. Sometimes, I wished I had the kind of life she had, free from the responsibilities of being a Choryth.

Svan was still missing, but Father hadn’t given up on his search. It was done discreetly so as not to draw the attention of other nobles since Father publicly announced his expulsion. It wasn’t hard to tell that what Svan felt about me was nothing short of loathing. I couldn’t remember any time we had a normal conversation as siblings. At the moment, I felt a lot of guilt because I always treated him like he was some kind of lesser being.

“Mom, this is all your fault. You created this person, this me.”

I sighed,

“If you were still alive, my life would have turned out differently.”

“My Lady, you should dry yourself,” a voice said behind me.

I looked at the floor and noticed that I was standing in a little pool of water my wet body had created. I nodded as she stretched her hand, passing a towel to me. I stepped away from my original position as I wiped my body with the towel the attendant gave to me.

I had almost forgotten what awaited me; I had a meeting to attend. I had a rough idea of why it was being held, and I was quite glad that Yukina was around and would be attending it. It didn't take long to get dressed and prepared, and when I was done, I left the room. After walking for what seemed like forever, I finally arrived at the meeting place. Yukina was already present. She was leaning beside the door with her arms folded. I wore a smile as I looked in her direction, and the expression she gave in response was,

“Why the hell is she smiling?”

I was quite surprised that she patiently waited for me to arrive. The Yukina I knew would have most likely barged into my room and threw a fit for wasting her time. My best guess was that she wasn’t just in the mood for bickering. I was certain that her mind was occupied with Svan’s whereabouts. She tried to persuade Father to let her join the search party sent to find Svan, but he refused. I also knew she wouldn’t stay still because she was just that person. Without saying a word, she led the way into the room as we both entered.

The tension in the room was palpable, even though no one was speaking. The most important nobles of House Choryth were all gathered, seated around a long narrow rectangular table. With Father included, there were eight persons in total. There were no other empty seats left, so we both had to stand. Honestly, I didn’t know why we had to be present at the meeting, and the only reason we were there was that Father insisted we attend. I was sure that he had his reasons, and it was one of those moments I needed to be Evren the Phoenix.

We took positions beside father, Yukina on his left while I stood on his right. Such outlook gave off an imposing ambiance, and I knew Father liked it.

“There you go again, taking matters into your own hands,” a voice said, breaking the silence that plagued the room.

It was no doubt Uncle Siggurd’s voice, and he was sitting directly opposite Father. Uncle Siggurd was Father’s older brother, but the position of High Lord wasn’t bestowed upon him because Father was a lot stronger than him. As ugly as it sounded, it was the Choryth way, as succession was based on strength above anything else. It was an understandable custom since it had always ensured that Choryth maintained its position as a prominent House in Stavren.

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Father was not just stronger than Uncle Siggurd but had also proven to be smarter than him, so it wasn’t a difficult choice to bestow the position of High Lord to him.

“This was supposed to be a very seclusive meeting between the most prominent nobles of this House, yet you bring in these two. Aren’t you simply disrespecting every noble gathered here?” Uncle Siggurd continued.

“I don’t think so,” Father replied calmly.

“The ladies you just mentioned with disregard are also very important members of this House, and one of which is its heiress.”

Uncle Siggurd smirked,

“Its heiress, you say.”

“Apologies, Lord Edger, but I find it too rash and inappropriate that you named Lady Evren the heiress of this House,” another voice said in a more reserved manner.

I knew the man was called Wyatt and was also a noble of the House, but I didn’t know anything else about him.

“How is it rash and inappropriate?” father asked.

“She is my daughter, so It’s only natural.”

“But….” Wyatt interrupted, trying to point out something.

“But what?” Father asked, but this time with a rising tempo in his voice.

“She had also proven to be the strongest among all potential successors. Can any of your sons and daughters best her in combat?”

There was silence in the room as Father concluded,

“I guess not.”

“We have never had a woman as High Lady of this House, and naming Evren as heiress simply means that you are trying to undermine our history and reputation,” Uncle Siggurd responded.

I knew someone would eventually say something like that, and I was sure Father also knew that. That was why he expelled Svan; to send a statement that Svan was no longer a member of the House since Svan showed no potential of being a caster. He also planned on bringing him back with an excuse once matters of succession were resolved.

I didn't think it would be much of an issue, considering how almost every person in the great hall cheered when Father announced me as heiress.

Father chuckled,

“I mean, if I can remember correctly, there was no rule which stated that a woman can’t and shouldn’t be the High Lady of House Choryth, and besides, a Lady being the head of a House isn’t a thing of novelty in Stavren. Honestly, I don’t see why we should be holding these talks. I named my heir as tradition demanded, but I am still the head of this House, and I think I am doing a pretty good job at it.”

Most of their faces were disgruntled as they got up to leave one after the other until it was only three of us left. Father had won in this little game, but one thing was certain; it was still very far from over. I got my answer on why I was present in the meeting. Father could have still done what he just did even if we weren’t present, but he was trying to show me something; he was trying to show me everyone I should be wary of.

YUKINA AYLING

I wasn’t sure why the High Lord requested that I attend the meeting. It was more of an order than a request, so I had no choice but to comply since my defiant behavior could only stretch so far. The more I thought about it, the less sense it made unless Lord Edger had a hidden agenda behind his decision. Whatever his reasons were, it wasn’t my place to question the High Lord. The meeting didn’t last long as Lord Edger dismissed every complaint as quickly as they were laid.

I wasn’t concerned about the political affairs of the House, but I believed Lord Edger’s decision to name Evren as heiress was the right one. I didn’t understand why they seemed to have a problem with it because it was easy to discern that they were all present to vet against his decision. I guess they felt insulted or rather embarrassed, but they should have known better about the nature of the society they lived in; the strongest gets the first say.

By the time the meeting ended, I had figured out why I was made to attend it. I had always believed that Svan was expelled because he had no abilities as a caster, which was totally understandable. People were bound to gossip that the highly respected High Lord of House Choryth had a son with no elemental attributes, which would leave a sour impression on the House.

The High Lord used his expulsion to prove that he had no tolerance for weakness, which made him even scarier and more powerful. But it seemed like that wasn’t the only reason behind his actions.

The outcome of the meeting also made me realize that he was also trying to ensure that his lineage still held onto power. If Svan was still present, those nobles would have argued that his son wasn’t fit to be heir of the House and would subsequently argue that Evren also shouldn’t because he had a son and patriarchy was an unwritten custom of the House.

I had to give it to Lord Edger; he was smart. It was his way of telling me the real reason why he did what he did in hopes that I understood and accepted them.

Lord Edger stood from his seat,

“I hope you both understand why I brought you here.”

We both nodded without saying any word as he left the room, leaving us behind. I didn’t know his intention on why Evren was present, but I guess she figured it out as well.

I wished I had joined in the search for Svan. Somehow, the survivor’s guilt was slowly torturing me. I was trying hard to be optimistic that he was alive even though I was scared that he might just be dead. I wasn’t sure how well I would be able to cope with the grief if he turned out to be dead, so I kept myself in denial because accepting it was too much to bear.

I tried to convince myself that I did my best to protect him, but Vixra was just too strong for me. My best wasn’t enough. What was even more frustrating was that I didn’t know anything that happened after my fight with her. I just happened to pass out at the wrong time. On the bright side, it fueled my optimism. I didn’t get to see Svan die, so there was a possibility that he was still alive.

I noticed that Evren was still in the room with me. I tried to steal a glance at her, but our eyes met. She tried to say something to me but stopped herself halfway. I wondered what was wrong with her because she seemed a little off and was giving me creeps. I wanted to ask her what her problem was, but I remembered that we were yet to reconcile from the little scuffle we had the day before, which was obviously my fault, so I didn’t. Without hesitation, I walked past her and left the room to escape the uncomfortable aura she was creating.