Darya and I were seated side by side atop a mountain. The view from the top was breathtaking. Below, the valleys stretched out for miles in all directions. The sky was brilliant blue, cloudless as the sun shone brightly, glinting off a distant river. In a distance, the peaks of other mountains loomed, majestic and imposing. The horizon seemed endless, and all I could do was admire the beauty of everything my eyes beheld. I didn't know how I brought myself to the peak of the mountain because I couldn't remember climbing it, but there I was, with Darya.
“I am probably somewhere passed out, right?”
She scoffed,
“It’s a good thing that you know.”
Darya didn’t look happy. She looked worried. Although she tried to hide it, I could still tell as, most of the time, she tried to avoid looking at me. I had a vague idea about why she was worried, but I didn't want to confront her about it, so I decided to feign ignorance.
“Those spells, do you have names for them?”
“Even if I did, do you think I would tell you? You can call them whatever you like, I don't care.”
“Come on, you are ruining the mood,” I protested.
“Don’t you think I would love that?”
“Alright. At least tell me how they work.”
Darya was silent, completely ignoring me.
“I know you are angry with me. To be honest, I wanted to feign ignorance, but it seems it isn't helpful. I did what had to be done. My mother’s life was in danger, and you knew it. I had to do something, and I don't regret my actions. I’m sorry, but if I find myself in a similar situation again, I will do the same thing.”
“Do you want to die so badly? Aren't you scared?”
I got annoyed a bit,
“Stop acting as if you care about me. You acted on your selfish desire to survive. I don't know what it is, and I don't care. I know you did what you had to do, and that's why you ended up here with me. I am not going to judge you for that. Truth is, I am grateful to you because, in a society where one is largely valued based on how strong they are, I think I have a place in it. How would you possibly expect me to have powerful abilities and just sit on them? I can't. So, don’t act as if you are concerned about my well being. I don't need your pity. Just stick to your own, and protect your interest.”
I thought I had struck her on a sore spot, but the calm in her response said something else.
“What if I do care about you? Can't I? I have been with you since you were born, so it's natural to develop a bond with you; one that doesn't require benefits. But I understand. After all, you don't really know what it feels like to be loved.”
I scoffed,
“Are you trying to make me feel better, or are you just being petty?”
“Well, that depends on how you want to interpret it.”
“She won’t even let me get angry,” I said inwardly.
Speaking in a calmer tone,
“I've been close to dying on multiple occasions, and the thought of death scares me, yet I get reckless most times. It feels like impulsive behavior, and I don't think I can help it. This is war, and death is a risk that comes with it. I made a choice to be involved in the war, so I shouldn't be overly worried about the risks that come with it, right?”
Darya sighed, completely changing the course of our conversation.
“There is nothing spectacular about the spells. It just consumes a lot more mana. The first one traps anything thrown at it in a pocket space. The trapped objects or spells can be released whenever you wish, just like you saw during the battle. That was how you were able to bombard that soldier with her spells. The second one is a bit more complicated. In a nutshell, it's a destructive spell. The spell tries to tear the space in an area apart. But if I do that, the effect would be disastrous, so I don't. The attempt alone is enough to completely obliterate anything in the target area.
I shrugged Darya,
“Woah, I might just be the strongest out there, don’t you think?”
There was a faint smile on her face,
“Coming from someone who passes out after conjuring spells, I wouldn't quite agree with you.”
“There is something called improvement, but I guess you are unfamiliar with it.”
“To be honest, you are very impressive, being able to do the things you do. At first, I didn't think you could wield my abilities. But surprisingly, you did, even though it came at a cost. I strongly believe that you are unique. Even without me, I believe you have the potential to become just as strong. You just don't know it yet. For some reason, I think I am the one hindering you from discovering your true potential. I am scared, and I feel bad for you because I know that I am slowly killing you. Maybe it's because I've grown a lot on you, so sometimes my emotions get the better of me, but I don't want to watch you die.”
“You are starting to sound like you are my mother.”
“I guess I am something close to that.”
“Svan, you are stubborn, and I don't think there is much I can do about it. But just like you said, I would protect my interest which means protecting you. Just don't go overboard.”
“You are right. I am stubborn. But so far, I believe I've done what’s best for everyone, and you know it. In the last battle, I pushed myself past my limit, but it had to be done. In the end, we were victorious. What I am trying to say is, I am not stupid, and I am not going to take unnecessary risks. We're good now, right?”
Darya heaved.
“I think the spells you have are enough to keep you from harm’s way. I won't teach you new ones unless your body learns to bear the strain of the ones you already have.”
I chuckled,
“At this rate, I would transcend into something beyond human.”
I stood up and stretched my body,
You know, it is almost always peaceful here.”
“Next time you find yourself here, I promise, it won’t be very comfortable.”
“I guess your time here is up.”
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“I felt it too.”
“See you. Hopefully, not anytime soon,” I said to her as she gradually faded from my sight. She wore a half smile on her face, and I reciprocated before she completely vanished as my thoughts shifted to what awaited me in the real world.
My eyelids separated slowly. I expected my eyes to be welcomed by a bright light that would force them to squint, but that never came. It wasn’t dark, but it wasn’t too bright either.
The room was familiar, a small one with very little furnishing; a bed, wooden table, and chair with a double casement window a few inches right and above the bed. I was at Mom’s house. I got up quickly and looked outside, catching the sight of Mom, who was weeding her little garden. Sophia was seated on a tree stump, she had a cup with her, and she stared in Mom’s direction. I was surprised she looked well, considering she was seriously injured the last time I saw her.
“How long was I knocked out,” I wondered.
None of them noticed I was looking at them. I stood before the window, contemplating jumping from it rather than using the stairs. My intrusive thoughts won, and in an instant, the ground came up to meet me with a thud as I stumbled forward, barely keeping my balance.
“That’s one way to tell us you’ve woken up,” Sophia said as she sipped from her cup.
Mom abandoned what she was doing in the garden as she ran out to meet me. Before she could say anything, I asked her,
“How long have I been out?”
“A day. I’m glad you are up.”
Mom led me to one of the makeshift seats,
“Sit down let me get you something to eat.”
Sophia and I sat wordlessly opposite each other. She wasn’t noiseless as she made sipping noises at intervals since the content of her cup was hot. After a brief moment of awkwardness between the two of us, she said,
“Thanks.”
“Eh?” I replied in surprise since I wasn’t expecting her to say anything to me.
“Thank you for saving my life.”
“Oh, I just did what I had to do.”
“Why did you do it? You could have just ignored me and let them kill me. I know you hate me, and I know you want me dead so why did you save me?”
“What makes you think I want you dead?”
She opened her mouth to speak but stopped herself before the words left her mouth.
I smiled,
“It would be a huge loss to the Azkhans if they lose their princess, wouldn’t it?”
“She is a princess?”
Mom’s voice startled me a bit since I didn’t notice that she was coming.
“So you two do have a history,” she continued, placing a plate of meat in front of me.
I nodded,
“She was the one that almost killed me in the dark caverns.”
With a weird smile across her face, Mom turned in Sophia’s direction.
“Is that true?”
Sophia didn’t respond as she adjusted her position to avoid eye contact with Mom.
“But that’s all in the past now, right?” I said, before taking a bite of a piece of meat. I was famished, but I did my best to eat like a sensible person.
“Well, if I was being honest, I thought you were going to die anyway. You bled a lot, and you weren’t healing. Does that make you feel better?”
Once again, Sophia didn’t respond. She wasn’t looking in my direction either, as she was still trying to avoid catching Mom’s sight.
“How did she not die?” I asked Mom.
“I froze her wound to stop the bleeding, long enough until she was able to heal herself.”
I nodded,
“I almost always forget how amazing you are.”
Mom smiled faintly,
“Though I'm beginning to regret why I did that.”
I chuckled,
“I guess she owes you one now.”
Mom stole a few glances at me. I could tell that she wanted to say something to me but felt uneasy about it. I smiled at her,
“You can tell me, you know.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked in response.
“Sure, I’m not busy after all.”
“Are you alright?”
Her question came off, a bit surprising to me since I was expecting something else. I tried to laugh off her question,
“Do I not look alright?”
“You do now. But back then, when you faced the Imperial soldiers alone, you looked...”
She paused, trying to come up with the appropriate word to complete her description. The look on her face told uncertainty but at the same time, showed conviction.
“....different.”
I tried to recollect memories of what happened during the battle, but I didn't remember acting differently, except she was referring to the spells I conjured, but I believed that wasn't the case.
“Err... You know, we happened to find ourselves in a difficult situation. So it's possible that I just... I mean... Overwhelmed, maybe?”
With a faint smile on her face, she didn't say anything else. Our conversation came to an end. She knew that I understood what she was trying to say, and she also knew that I wasn't ready to talk. We were both silent, but our faces still spoke our words. The look on my face was trying to tell her we could have this conversation some other time. I felt stupid for trying to force it in the first place. Mom must have anticipated how awkward it might come off as, which made her hesitate.
Moments ago, I was confident about opening up to her and telling her about Darya, but that confidence suddenly disappeared, and I couldn’t bring myself to do it.
Mom stood up,
“I think I should get some sleep. I haven't had a bit of rest since the events of yesterday. You should rest too. Our General here insisted we head back tomorrow.”
I waved at her as she walked back inside the house. Sophia's voice came alive once again.
“Are you trying to get yourself killed?”
“What?”
“I know it's not my place, but I think I understand where your mother is coming from. The look on your face yesterday seemed like you wanted to get yourself killed, or you were okay with dying. It's difficult to explain with words, so I can't say for sure. But then, I can't help but think it's the former. You let me stab you even when you were strong enough to kill everyone present in the dark cavern that day, and when we met officially, you were intent on knowing why I didn't kill you.”
She scoffed,
“It all makes sense now.”
I heaved. Both Mom and Sophia had the wrong ideas. My persona might have appeared differently in the heat of the moment, but then, I was by no means trying to get myself killed, even though my actions might have said otherwise. Mom and I would have that conversation, hopefully, sooner than later. For Sophia, I couldn't care less about what she thought about me.
“Why did your people start this war?”
“I don't know,” she replied almost immediately.
Her response sounded genuine even though I didn't believe it.
“Is this war a joke to you?”
She dropped her cup on the table,
“No, it isn't. But I don't know. For what’s worth, this war is even older than I am. I'm just a soldier obeying orders.”
“But you are the Princess. How can you have no idea about the cause? Or are you just ignorant?”
“You can say that, but what difference will it make? Even if I was given a reason, the course of action wouldn't change. Because I am the princess of the Empire doesn't mean I can influence the decisions of the Emperor or the Supreme council, so why bother?”
“You have a point, but to fight, you need a cause, and the soldiers who fight need to believe in it, or else if they die while fighting, they die for nothing.”
She smiled,
“I can understand that you are naive, so you don’t understand how the world works.”
“You are talking like you’ve been around for a long time.”
She picked up her cup and sipped from it again.
“Maybe I have.”
I looked at her. I haven’t known her for a long time, and I didn’t even know much about her, but she was intriguing in many ways. She was difficult to read, and her words were not the easiest to understand. While I was staring at her, she said to me,
“To fight, you need an enemy.”