ELIORA AYLING

Edger’s private study had become my favorite place in all of the castle. Maybe I was constantly drawn to it because it was just too cozy, or maybe it was because Edger was almost always there.

Even though I was the wife-to-be to the High Lord of House Choryth, and even though I had practically lived my childhood and my teenage years as a Choryth, I still felt like a stranger. There weren’t a lot of people I associated with, and the current situation in the Republic didn’t allow the luxury of informal affiliations. The vast majority of the time, meeting people was just strictly business; giving orders, coordinating a plan, and carrying out assignments.

The armchair that nestled on the left of the window was technically mine, like a property in a marked territory. Each time I found solace in this room, it was to that familiar chair I surrendered my weary body. Now, cocooned within its depths, wrapped in a blanket against the night's chill, I sat. Though the windows were closed, a subtle breeze permeated the room, lending an ethereal touch.

The study room was cloaked in shadows, the flickering candlelight casting dancing silhouettes on the walls, and the crackling fire in the hearth seemed to mirror the turmoil within me, its warmth offering little solace to the questions that plagued my thoughts.

At that moment, I allowed myself to think—something I had skillfully avoided in recent days, burying my innermost conversations beneath a flurry of activities. But now, the weight of two significant events spiraled through my mind. The first was memories that flooded back like fragmented whispers in the recesses of my mind, urging me to confront the emotions that had been long buried. Second, uncertainties about the future loomed.

I turned in Edger's direction. His attention was focused on a book he was reading. The image of his face burned through my thoughts, forcing them to conform to it. There was a wall between us. We were both aware of its presence but none of us was willing to tear it down. But the wall was natural, so it was understandable why it still stood.

“Edger,” I began, my voice betraying a mix of guilt and determination that coursed through me.

He dropped the book he was reading and looked in my direction.

“Don’t you hate me?”

As unexpected as the question was, Edger didn’t look surprised, almost like he was expecting it. He didn’t respond immediately, probably trying to understand why I asked such a question.

I searched his face carefully under the guidance of the dim lamp that stood on his table. I expected to see at least the tiniest bit of surprise on his face, or any hint of emotion, but his countenance remained an impenetrable mask. If there was one skill Edger had mastered flawlessly, it was rendering his expressions unreadable.

I waited a bit before hearing a response, which came in the form of a question.

“Why should I hate you?”

I didn’t hesitate to continue the conversation,

“Because I gave you reasons to. I left, got married, had children, and when I was in trouble, I ran back to you shamelessly. I made you take care of my children. All my actions, they appear selfish. I…”

He cut me off before any more words left my mouth.

“They are selfish. But..”

He paused for a bit,

“I don’t hate you.”

There was a torrent of heartfelt words that would have followed the “but”, yet Edger managed to keep his feelings in check.

I wasn’t giving up yet. I was determined on knowing how he truly felt.

“Edger, you aren’t making things easy. I am trying to break down my walls and leave myself exposed to you. That way we can learn to completely trust each other, and I believe you should do the same.

“I don’t hate you, Eliora. I—I love you. I have always loved you. How else will you explain the things I did for you? I might indeed pretend that I did them for my benefit but deep down, I know why I did what I did. When you left, it hurt, but I had to respect your decision. I thought I wouldn’t see you again and I moved on with my life. But, here we are again.”

I was flustered, but the shadows cast on me did a great job of concealing it. I never expected to hear those words from Edger. I knew he did love me, but I didn’t expect him to admit it easily.

I felt a compulsion to reciprocate how I felt, but I held back the words before they left my mouth. At that point, I believed that anything I said wouldn't sound sincere enough. I didn’t know what else to say. Every question I intended to ask disappeared leaving no trace, and all I could do was smile. I wanted to confront any animosity that lingered between us, but I got an even better result.

“But I won’t chase after you, even if you decide to leave again.”

I smiled even more broadly,

“You don’t have to ruin the mood.”

The awkward aura that filled the room didn't disappear as it was accompanied by silence. In a desperate attempt to escape from it, I decided to change the course of our conversation.

“Given the current situation, what are your plans moving forward?”

For the first time, Edger closed the book in front of him. His reaction was welcoming, and It was obvious that he had something to say.

“If only you waited for a moment, I would have asked the exact question in your stead.”

“Well, I beat you to it.”

“I don't have any concrete plan. I'm just trying to be vigilant. Anything we do is heavily dependent on what decisions the Azkhans make.”

“True, but don't you think we've had more influence in this war than they've had?” I asked.

“From a perspective, yes. But they started this war so they still command a bigger impact in it. To be fair, everything happening till now still feels surreal, even though we've found ourselves in life-and-death situations a couple of times.”

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The tone of my voice changed, as bits of seriousness seeped into it.

“You still feel that way, probably because you haven't lost anyone important to this war,” I said to him.

Edger leaned back on the backrest of his seat,

“As harsh as it sounds, I think you are right, and that's what scares me most.”

“I promised to protect them, no matter the cost. So, you shouldn't be too worried,” I said reassuringly, but Edger was thinking differently.

“...or rather, what scared me the most,” he said.

I was confused,

“A bit of explanation would be very much appreciated.”

With you, Svan, Yukina, and Evren, I think House Choryth can hold its own, provided I play the right cards.”

I began to doubt if I was having a conversation with Edger. The Edger I knew was hardly optimistic, but his statement told otherwise.

“I wouldn't be quite sure about that, we haven't just been overwhelmed yet. Besides, our children aren't strong enough yet.”

“That's because we've been holding them back.”

The surprises just kept on coming.

“What... How do you know?”

I wanted to feign pretense, but I gave up. If I wanted a better relationship with Edger, I needed to give up some secrets. I had underestimated Edger’s wits and had forgotten how good he was at studying people.

“I know you have your reasons, and I believe your intentions are good, but I can tell that Svan and Yukina have untapped potential buried within them. After all, they are your children.”

“Why do you think I'm hesitant? They are not even full-blooded Arcanes. Yukina is a stillbringer, just like her father. And Svan, I don't even understand the nature of what ability he has.”

“I think you are scared of something. Yukina and Svan are different, far away from normal. Yukina became a threefold stillbringer at a young age. You know, as well as I do that such feat is unheard of. And for Svan, well, let Svan be Svan. But my question is, where do you think they got those traits from?”

At this rate, it was just a matter of time until Edger confronted every secret I kept. His intuition was sharper than a fine blade. The annoying part was that, at any time, I couldn't tell what he was thinking, or predict his next move.

“Yes, you are right. I am scared of something. Two things to be exact. I am no expert, and I didn't have anyone to make me understand who or what I am, but if their Feel shares traits with mine, then the awakening might kill them. If I'm being honest, they should be kind of dead to trigger whatever their Feel possesses, if they possess it. And you should understand that whatever it is, I have no idea, but I know it's something. Secondly, even if they awaken, what is even scarier is the bloodlust that follows. It doesn't go away. Whenever they fight, they become single-minded killing monsters overwhelmed with the urge to kill, as every empathy and emotion disappears from them.”

“But you learned to control it, didn’t you?” Edger chipped in.

I let out a tired smile,

“No, I didn't. It's more like, I learned to live with it.”

We were silent for a bit,

“So do you understand why I am hesitant?”

Edger nodded in response before speaking,

“But I think it's a risk you should take. It's better safe than sorry, right?”

That was more like Edger—cold and soulless. The expression on my face asked,

“You must be joking, right?”

He read it correctly,

“No, I'm not. After all, I am prepared to take the same risk for Evren.”

“Evren? What do you mean?” I asked.

“Do you remember the story of the phoenix and the dragons?”

“Yes, how can I forget? It was the first book you made me read when we were little. What relevance does it have?”

“Do you believe dragons once existed?” Edger asked.

I scoffed,

“That’s impossible. Isn't that supposed to be some mythical folklore?”

“No, it's not. That's the secret House Choryth has harbored for centuries.”

I was speechless, and the shock was visible on my face.

“Everything told in that story is real. It's a secret hidden in plain sight.”

“But according to the story, all dragons were killed.”

“Except one,” Edger cut in.

“And it has dwelled in the dungeons deep below this castle.”

Though I was carefully listening to what Edger was saying, I was struggling to believe it.

Edger continued speaking,

“I don't believe in fate, but it's difficult for me to accept that everything happening now is just a mere coincidence.”

Slowly, I managed to ask.

“So, you mean Evren is a phoenix?”

“Yes. It's been over a thousand years since the last phoenix. Their existence, alongside that of dragons, had almost been erased from history. I didn't think that I would see one in my lifetime, but then Evren happened.”

“But how can you be so sure?”

“Eternal amber,” Edger voiced.

I vividly remembered the story stating that the phoenix had an amber nexus that didn't ever change, and more importantly, they were dragonlords.

“You mean Evren was born with an amber nexus?”

“That’s right.”

“But I thought her Feel is at the gold stage,” I queried.

“Solely based on appearance, are you physically able to differentiate an amber and a golden stage?” Edger asked.

“No,” I replied.

“Exactly. The difference can only be seen strength-wise. And strength-wise, Evren is easily at a gold stage Feel. A lot of people call her the Phoenix, a nickname I gave to her when I discovered she was one, but they don't know the reason I called her that. She has no idea about who she is, but I won't keep it a secret from her anymore. More importantly, she is going to have to face the Shadowflame—Zephyrix.”

Our conversation took an unprecedented turn, one filled with events I was unprepared for. There were a lot of details I wanted to know, but it could wait as I tried to process the ones I had already.

A mischievous smile curled from Edger’s lip,

“I am sure you wouldn't want Evren and Svan to fall behind.”

“Hey, this isn't a competition,” I said with a half frown on my face.

“It's not. But you know, they always compete among themselves, especially Yukina and Evren. They can't just help it,” Edger said in defense.

“Because you raised them that way.”

“Well, about that, I don't deny.”

“Edger, you are making me do things I don't want to do,” I said in a complaint-laden tone.

“I wouldn't have brought this up if the situation surrounding us wasn't grim. As ambitious as I am perceived, the children’s safety remains my priority.”

I smiled,

“I never knew you were this sweet.”

He scoffed,

“I've always been this way.”

Following an exhausted heave, I said to him,

“You leave me with no choice then. Congratulations, you have a family of overpowered oddities.”

“Well, I think I am the only normal person in it.”

“No. You are just the weakest one, or rather about to be,” I mocked.