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HEAVENS FEEL
21. DAWN

21. DAWN

SVAN CHORYTH

It was already nightfall, and we were all outside. Everyone was busy except Eliora, Evren, Yukina, and I. Workers, cleaners, attendants, and guards were doing one thing or another to clean up the mess and destruction resulting from our battle against the demons. Lord Edger was also busy, dishing out instructions and supervising the work being carried out. Giant orbs about the sizes of adult human heads that gave off a white light were hung on poles around the manor, providing luminance to those who were working. I wondered why Lord Edger was insistent that the cleaning and repairs had to be done that night.

Though the four of us were in close proximity to each other, no one said a word. We won against the demons but our mood said otherwise.

Evren sat at the foot of a stone stairs and was faced down. I could tell that she was trying to avoid looking at Eliora. Eliora leaned on a wall behind her and looked at everyone with curious eyes. There were times it looked as though she wanted to say something but had to stop herself because the mood wasn’t welcoming. Yukina sat in one corner; she covered her face with a towel and refused to talk to anyone.

Everyone had a reason to be silent. Yukina's reason was probably shock, Evren's was probably because a secret she held had been let out of the bag, and Eliora's was probably because she didn't know what to say and felt a bit awkward like she was the odd one in the group. Evren's reaction to Eliora's presence told me something; she knew who Eliora was, which meant that she knew the truth.

Thanks to Eliora, no one died or even sustained serious injuries. I didn't even want to imagine what would have happened if we were a day or even hours late. The outcome would have been different, one filled with tragedy.

I watched anxiously as Yukina stood from where she sat and walked toward Eliora. I couldn’t tell what she wanted to do, and I couldn’t even read her expression since her disheveled hair fell, covering her face. Even Eliora looked a bit scared as Yukina approached her. To my surprise, Yukina hugged her and started sobbing. For the first time, I saw Yukina cry like a baby. I let out a sigh of relief as I questioned myself why I was anxious in the first place.

“It was you, it was you,” she said between sobs.

Eliora held her in an embrace as tears flowed from her eyes. It was an emotional yet beautiful sight to behold. Eliora didn’t show any of these emotions when she met me. If I remember clearly, she was always smiling. The simple explanation was that maybe she loved Yukina more since she spent more time with her. I felt a bit jealous, and though I tried to convince myself that I wasn’t jealous, the expression on my face said otherwise. It was funny because I didn’t feel emotionally attached to her and found it difficult to accept that she was my mother, so I couldn’t understand why I felt a bit jealous because she showed more intimacy toward Yukina.

Lord Edger was the one who broke the news to Yukina because she was insistent on knowing who Eliora was. I couldn’t bring myself to tell her because I felt it wasn’t my place to do so. Evren didn’t say anything, and I felt Eliora was scared to introduce herself.

Before Lord Edger left our midst, he said to Yukina,

“Yukina, this is your mother, Eliora.”

Yukina stood, obviously shocked, and looked dazed. It was as though her consciousness drifted somewhere else. She didn't say anything or react out of shock. She just quietly went to a corner and sat, covering her face. I wondered what was going on inside her head because just those few words the High Lord said to her were enough to change her life forever. Lord Edger didn't say anything else, so there were still a lot of things Yukina didn't know about. I remembered Yukina telling me that she wanted to know who her parents were, which was one of the reasons she journeyed with me, but now her mother was right in front of her, I didn't know how she would take it.

Though it never crossed my mind before, it was apparent that Yukina didn’t remember anything from her childhood since she didn’t know who Eliora was, and I wondered what could be the cause of her memory loss.

Yukina and Eliora untangled themselves, wiping the tears off their eyes.

“Why did you leave me?” Yukina asked in a tearful voice.

Eliora didn’t provide a direct answer to the question,

“We have a lot to talk about,” she said to Yukina.

The cleaning and repairs were almost done, and Lord Edger looked satisfied with the progress of the work. Lord Edger returned to our little gathering,

“We should head inside, I believe there are lots of things to be said,” he suggested as he led the way.

* * *

My room looked exactly the same as I’d left it. It was tidy and dust-free, which meant that it was cleaned every day, but nothing was changed or rearranged. I was tempted to collapse on the creaseless bed in front of me, but my body reeked, and my clothes were dirty, so I walked straight to the washroom to have my bath.

The bath was already prepared, so I wasted no time hopping in. I had almost forgotten how refreshing having a warm bath could be. A soothing wave rippled throughout every muscle inside my body when I soaked myself in the heated water. The sweet smell of the lavender-scented water provided comfort to my nose. Breathing became an enjoyable rather than a necessary activity as I relished every breath I took, drawing in air for a significantly longer time.

Even though the current situation was different, I couldn’t help but wonder what would become of me. I didn’t want to lead a life of a Choryth noble, and I wished the High Lord wouldn’t rescind my expulsion.

I was glad Yukina was well and alive though watching her and Evren battle the demon was nerve-racking. It was difficult to accept that Yukina and Evren were beaten by a single demon. There was no doubt that demons were crazy-strong, but watching Eliora kill not just one but two in a way that seemed like she did it effortlessly was mind-blowing, which left me wondering just how strong she was. At first, I was surprised at why she wielded swords, but my curiosity was satisfied when I watched her kill the two demons with them.

I sighed,

“What's next for me?”

The water was getting cooler, a gentle reminder that my time in the bath was coming to an end. When I was done bathing, I wore simple clothing; not just because it was late, but because I still felt I didn’t have the right to don myself in a Choryth outfit.

I heard a knock on my door,

“Who?” I asked.

“Evren. May I come in?”

“Sure,” I replied.

“I just had my bath, I was about to meet up with you guys,” I said to her.

Evren nodded without saying anything.

I was surprised she paid me a visit; I didn’t expect anyone to, since we would all meet up.

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Looking at her standing in front of me, I was forced to remember how Evren had treated me in the past. Her impression wasn’t giving off the classic Evren Choryth I had always known. She looked welcoming, like someone willing to have a conversation. I didn’t bear any grudge toward her, but I decided to give off the impression that I did.

“Why did you visit me now? I’ve lived in this castle for fifteen years and you never once paid me a visit.”

She didn’t reply.

“What will it be this time? That I am undeserving of the Choryth name? Or that I am weak? Weren’t those your two favorite phrases?”

She still didn’t say anything.

I chuckled,

“You know, I had always believed you were so strong, but you couldn’t even hold your own earlier, and if mom hadn’t intervened, you would’ve been long dead.”

I paused for a moment,

“Did I just say mom?” I queried myself.

My emotions were getting the better of me. I convinced myself that I didn’t bear any grudge towards Evren, but I was angry at her. I was angry that she treated me like crap. I had never had the courage to give her a piece of my mind or talk back at her. I was always scared of her, but at that moment, I wasn’t.

“Well, it’s a good thing that we aren’t siblings so I don’t care about what you think about me anymore.”

I walked past her and headed towards the door. I silently sighed in relief because I held my breath while talking to her.

“I’m sorry,” Evren said to me.

“What? Did she just apologize?” I queried myself.

“I’m sorry,” Evren said again.

I was surprised.

“When did the phoenix get this soft?” I asked inwardly

“I guess you know the whole truth now. I was still a child when my mother and her newborn died. Then, I was young and didn’t understand anything that happened. The only thing I remembered was that my mother died. I grew older and Father explained everything better to me and made me promise to keep it a secret. I was angry, I wanted to blame their deaths on someone, but it wasn’t anyone’s fault, it was just one of the misfortunate tragedies that befell us. Before I knew the truth, I had always treated you like my brother and was always fond of you but when I knew the truth, I wouldn’t lie, I looked at you differently for a while. I felt that you were living a life that wasn’t yours and didn’t deserve it. I grew older and I understood better. It wasn’t your fault and you were just an innocent boy, trying to do his best. I didn’t know how to make amends, I felt it was already too late. I thought, maybe it was best to leave our relationship the way it was in order to help me keep the secret of your identity, together with Yukina’s. Now, it’s no longer a secret anymore, so I believe it’s best for me to apologize; firstly, for how I treated you and all the hurtful things I said to you, and secondly, for not telling you the truth about yourself. I don’t expect you to forgive me, but I hope you understand.”

I turned in her direction. I felt a bit awkward, and I couldn’t look at her face. The amour of confidence I wore broke, and I returned to the old Svan.

“The truth is, though I felt bad about how you treated me, I didn’t resent you, I never did. I’d always believed that I deserved the way I was treated because I felt that I was a shame on the House since I had no abilities. So, don’t beat yourself up, I’ve made my peace with everything a long time ago.”

I paused and exhaled loudly,

“I’m sorry about what I said earlier. Forget what I said, I was just babbling.”

The expression on her face was a surprised one. It was obvious she wasn’t expecting the response I gave her.

“Come on, let’s go,” I said to her.

* * *

Lord Edger did the talking, and we listened while we ate slowly. Yukina wasn’t eating; she was paying careful attention to what he was saying because it appeared as though he was talking particularly to her. I already knew most of the things he said because Eliora had told me about them. Yukina was the only odd one since everything the High Lord said was a novelty to her. When Lord Edger said to Yukina,

“Svan is actually your brother,” she almost choked on the water she was drinking, spilling it on the table and the food before her.

“I’m sorry,” she said, coughing.

“How is that possible?” She asked.

We exchanged quick glances, and her eyes screamed, “it can’t be possible.” Nobody said anything when she asked the question. Our silence was obvious enough to tell her what she needed to know.

“Why couldn’t I remember any of these?” Yukina asked.

“About that, we don’t know. The night Eliora left, you cried yourself to sleep, and when you woke up the next morning, it was apparent that you had memory loss,” Lord Edger replied.

I was made to understand the real reason why Lord Edger supposedly expelled me from the House. It wasn’t because I had no abilities; rather a means he used to quell succession disputes that began to arise. He also insinuated that the bandits that attacked us on our way to Ausbane were mercenaries sent by Lord Siggurd. Lord Edger seemed to know everything that had happened since we left the castle manor because he sent someone to follow us secretly, but he had no clue about the demons that attacked.

“Even though it appears that Lord Siggurd hired the demons to kill you, I am pretty sure the demons used it as a coy to hide their true intentions,” Eliora said, speaking for the first time.

Everyone’s attention was drawn to her,

“I think the whole picture is uglier than it actually looks, something really big is about to happen. Edger, you should properly investigate the reason behind this attack and I would assist in any way I can,” Eliora added.

When Eliora mentioned Lord Edger’s name the first time we met, she addressed him casually, disregarding the fact that he was the High Lord of House Choryth. I thought it was a harmless mistake on her part, but she did the same thing right in front of him, and he wasn’t even bothered. I was dying to know how they knew each other and the nature of their relationship.

Eliora took her time to explain to everyone who demons were and let everyone know that she was a divine. Maybe Lord Edger didn't know who divines were, but I was almost certain he knew she was different.

“Why don’t we get married,” Eliora suggested.

Everyone was taken by surprise, and this time, it was Evren who choked on what she was eating. I stared wordlessly at Eliora, waiting for her to provide a reasonable explanation for why she said what she said.

“Though it’s a selfish request, I think it’s a win-win scenario for all of us.”

“What’s your catch? You refused my proposal many years ago, so what are you planning on doing?” Lord Edger asked.

“Oh, so that was it,” I muttered.

It became obvious that Lord Edger and Eliora were once lovers or something close to that, which would explain why she spoke casually to him and why he didn’t mind when she did.

Lord Edger wasn’t flustered or surprised when Eliora suggested a marriage proposal. Something I’d noticed about him over the years was that it was difficult to tell his mood from his facial expression because it always appeared devoid of one. I’d never seen him smile, laugh or even frown. Phlegmatic was the easiest way to describe his disposition.

“Everyone is blown by the winds of change, and driven by the uncertainties the future holds. I can’t thank you enough for raising, and taking care of my children, and even though they are grown now, I want to be given the opportunity to be a mother, not just to my children but to yours.”

“So is marrying you some sort of reward for me?” Lord Edger asked.

“No, not really. To be honest, I believe it’s a means to satisfy our selfish ambitions. I know you desire power, and you know I can help you fulfill that desire. Though my children are my priorities, I need the protection of a powerful House too. Like I said, I have a strong feeling that something big is about to happen and I don’t want to be a spectator.”

Just when I thought I would be free from the Choryth House, things took a turn for the worse. Eliora was doing the exact opposite of what I'd expected from her. After a brief moment of silence, Lord Edger said,

“If the children are fine with it, then we would make arrangements for that.”

I wasn’t okay with it but I couldn’t bring myself to object. I expected Evren to at least say something, but she was mute. I was asking myself the same question,

“What’s next for me?”

If Eliora decided to stay and become a Choryth, I had to respect it. My goal was to get stronger, and Eliora was my best shot at it. She was undoubtedly the strongest person in the room, so if I wanted to get stronger, I needed to stay with her.

Lord Edger stood from his seat; he was done eating. He looked at Eliora, and though it was faint, I could have sworn he smiled.

“Tomorrow will be a very busy day for all of us, so I suggest we sleep early. I am proud of the bravery and strength every one of us showed in the face of our assailants so I want to use this opportunity to express my gratitude.”

He focused on me,

“Svan, your expulsion has been rescinded. Welcome home.”

He bid everyone goodnight before he retired to his chambers.

Yukina left her seat and gave me a weird kind of hug. I was seated, so she rested her head on my shoulders, and her hands draped over my chest, as she said to me,

“You got me worried-sick, but I will forgive you since you are well and alive.”

I didn’t know what to say, so I just wore a smile.

“I’d sometimes thought it was weird that I always felt obligated to protect you, little did I know we were siblings.”

She paused and chuckled,

“Too bad you can’t marry me anymore.”

I shrugged her off my body,

“You are the one who should feel bad,” I addressed.

I watched as Evren slowly stood from her seat and walked towards the door without saying a word to anyone.

“Evren,” Eliora called.

“Huh,” she replied as she turned around, surprised that Eliora had called her name.

Eliora left her seat and walked up to her. She said some things to Evren as they left the room together.

“What a day,” I sighed.