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Vol.5 Ch.101 - Racist Radar

"I can just... scoop the brain back in, can't I?" I reasoned, "Ugh, no way am I touching another person's brains with my bare hands, though."

Do I use the rapier? I might harm it if I do. No, but his brain is made of gold, so shouldn't it be fine? Just what the hell kind of situation have I gotten myself into...?

"I'm just gonna use his mallet to gently scoop it inside his noggin." I reached for it.

"Stop!!" He shouted all of a sudden.

"Wah! O-Oh geez, you scared me..." I breathed a sigh of relief, only to notice he still hasn't woken up, "Wait, did I imagine that...?"

"Imagine what, bozo." His voice echoed throughout the jungle hallway, but his lips remained unmoving, "What the hell did you do to me?"

Whoa, this is... weird. Is his brain telepathically communicating with me? It sounds crazy, but yeah, that's definitely Energy's voice. Then again, the brain is the main part of a person, so maybe it's because his is made of gold?

"Migu, answer me." He groaned, "I can't move my body ever since you did that weird thing that put me to sleep."

"Ah, I might've struck a nerve. Literally speaking." I realized.

"Wait, so you just permanently paralyzed me!?" He started freaking out, "What the hell, then kill me this instant so that we can restart!"

I knew he was gonna say that as soon as he found out. Actually, before this I had the intention of keeping his injury a secret until we went to bed, but I don't think this is salvageable anymore. Maybe offing ourselves is the right move, after all...

"O-Oi, what are you doing?" He saw me pick his brain up, "Wait, is that my body lying on the ground down there!? Migu, how are you doing this?! Migu!?"

"Hey, thinking about it rationally—isn't it kind of lucky that you'll get to have a completely golden body once we heal up on the fourth floor?" I reasoned, "Outside of the Shrine you'll feel like a human, but inside you'll be impervious to any and all damage."

"Migu!!"

I could tell from the nervous signals he was desperately sending out in my embrace that he was trying to break free, but as a lone brain without any muscles to do that with, he didn't really manage all too much. Honestly, if we ignore the fact he's an ugly, wrinkly brain, he's way cuter in this little form. Though, a jar to put him in for safe keeping and easier handling would certainly be nice.

"Migu, get back there and put me in my body this instant!" He shouted as I began walking away, "Hey, at least take my weapons!"

"You kidding? I can't use half of those things." I scoffed, "A mallet, a bow, a whip... If it was a gun, it would've been a different story, but I just don't see myself using anything other than my rapier and Flasher."

"They're MINE, not yours!" He corrected, "And regardless, are you seriously gonna leave my body back there to rot forever!?"

"Like I said, once we arrive on the fourth floor, we'll be able to regenerate a new body for you once you go to sleep." I reassured him.

Eh? Can brains even go to sleep? Well, logically speaking, they shouldn't even be able to live outside of the body at all, so who knows? I guess I'll have to take responsibility and wait to see if he really can fall asleep and regenerate or not. If he doesn't, I guess I'll just have to go through this whole third layer again.

"Wait, what am I right now?" He asked.

"A brain." Something in my body urged me to pinch it, but I refrained, "A-Ahem, a small little dumbo brain."

"You're kidding me..." He chuckled self-depracatingly, "A-Alright, I get it—you don't wanna erase our progress, right?"

"I'm not gonna kill us, Energy..."

"Just... Fucking listen, okay!?" He sounded like he was about to cry, "Kill me, I'll go through the entire third layer by myself, and we'll meet up at the fourth floor, got it!?"

"I can't know for sure if killing you won't immediately kill me as well somehow." I shook my head, "Since we usually die roughly at the same time anyways when we do, there's no way to know that."

"Please! I don't wanna be a stupid brain forever!"

Heh, did he just call himself stupid? N-No, now's not the time, Migu.

"Look, even if I did kill you, who's to say you'll even manage on your own?" I asked, "Not to mention, if I kill you as a brain, will you revive with all of your weapons still on you? Will my rapier and Flasher get stolen? You understand the risks at play here, don't you?"

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"T-That's...!" He stuttered, "I-I do, but...!"

"Then you'd do well to shut up and stop complaining." I decidedly kept walking through the third layer.

At the end of the day, he's the one at my mercy now, not the other way around. Mind you, we're talking about the guy that brutally killed Vastoria in front of my very Eyes, not to mention beat me and Sheep up within an inch of our lives. If I'm being brutally honest, I wouldn't mind it if he remained a harmless brain for the rest of his afterlife either! It'd be one less teammate against the Gods' bounty hunters, sure, but it'd also give me some solace and fulfilment.

"Knock knock." I guess he thought to lighten the mood with a joke.

"Who's there?" I genuinely looked down at him in confusion.

"Bat roach!" He shouted.

"Bat roach... Who?"

"No, you idiot! A bat roach is approaching!" He warned, "Put your rapier out!"

Oh, haha, I thought that was part of the joke. No, but seriously, I neither see nor hear any bat roaches in the vicinity, so I don't know what he's talking about. He said to extend my rapier out in front of me, but it's kind of tough to finagle between it, the Flasher and his brain.

"Do it now!" He was incessant.

"Ugh, fine!" I rolled my Eyes, just barely reaching out to the blade on my hilt and putting it in front of me.

Splat, a terrifying amount of blood suddenly splashed all over me, starting from the rapier's pointed tip. Was... Was that seriously a bat roach just now? Eugh, yuck! I got some in my mouth!

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"Ptu! Eugh, tu!" I spat as much blood splatter out as I could, "What the hell was that!?"

"I told you, I sensed something approaching at high speeds..." He replied nervously, "Was I late?"

Late? Damned idiot, it's the opposite! He was so early, I didn't even see or hear it at all. But now that I take a look at its carcass lying on the ground a few meters back, it was undeniably a bat roach that lunged at me at such an ungodly speed. But how could he have sensed it without Eyes or ears...?

"Elegy, do you see things differently now?" I inquired.

"Hm? Oh yeah, now that you mention it..." He noticed, "I don't quite see you, but I do feel you."

"Phrasing..."

"Hearing is much the same, in that I feel the soundwaves emanating in my proximity." He explained, "I heard the loud buzzing fast approach, but I'm genuinely surprised that you didn't hear it as well."

Yeah, that's because you obviously "feel" sound better than you or anyone else hears it. I guess this is also something only Energy can do because of his golden brain, on top of the whole telepathy thing. Damn, I'm almost jealous. Keyword is "almost", because I'd never switch places with his sorry ass.

"Well then, looks to me like this is a blessing in disguise!" I smiled, lifting the brain in front of me to admire it in all its glory, "With your radar warning me up to a dozen seconds ahead of time, we'll be invincible!"

"...Kill me."

"Later." I smiled deviously, "Once you're fully golden and we leave the Shrine."

I say that, but I'm still not that confident in my ability to take him down, despite the blatant advantages.

"You really think that'll satisfy your sense of revenge?" He got all sentimental, "Migu, you need to let Vastoria go. She will continue to live on through you, and I made sure of th-AHH!"

"Don't push your luck." I tossed him up and down like a parent would their baby, "You do know I can just decide not to put you on the bed once we make it there, right? You'll just be stuck in this place forever, rotting without rusting as these bugs attempt and fail numerous times to chomp off a bit of you."

"Eep! Okay, I'll be a good boy!" He begged, "Just spare me, okay! I just want my body, any body! Please don't leave me!"

Ehe, that's more like it! This Energy is a lot more pleasant to be around, especially when he does the job I gave him of being what is essentially a human radar. Thanks to him, I could accurately expect a bat roach attack from miles away, and all it would take for me to end the battle quickly was to extend my rapier when he told me to. The bat roaches did all the heavy lifting, 'cause they'd just blindly lunge at me in a straight line.

"Tch, why are they like this with you, but not with me?" He grumbled.

"Maybe because we killed all but a few of them." I shrugged, "With less of them around, they get desperate to kill us and end up moving predictably."

"Huh?" He sounded surprised.

"What?"

"Nothing, just... What you said actually made sense." He realized.

Hey!

"Yeah, back when Vastoria and I were heading to the bottom of the Shrine the first time, there were only a handful of them." He continued, "This time, though, there had to have been a thousand of them. I wonder if they have a colony nearby."

"...Why should I care?" I sighed, "Frankly, all I care about is reaching the fourth floor, healing, then getting the hell out of here."

"I think we should find their base and hunt them down to extinction." He suddenly suggested something wild, "They obviously breed at an alarming rate, so much so that the Shrine might not be enough to house all of them..."

"You're saying they might take over the other floors as well?"

"Worse." He fretted, "They might even escape the Shrine."

Some bone-chilling words were coming out of this brain. It's certainly a possibility once you factor in their multiplication, but how would I even go about doing that?

"...Ahem." He feigned a cough, "Of course as you know, I don't intend on making you go through such a hassling ordeal by yourself, milady. All I'd need is a regenerated body, and we'd be wreaking genocide like no one before us!"

"O-Oh, right! You're saying we do that AFTER we fall asleep on our beds, that makes sense." I chuckled, "Yeah, maybe we should do that, then. Besides, we're waiting on Sheep anyways, so might as well keep Heaven 2.0 clean of those things' ugly mugs."

If someone overheard us talking about this and didn't know we specifically meant the bat roaches, they'd call us insane racists that should be put to jail for war crimes.

"Ah, Migu." He sensed something coming again.

"Got it." I understood the signal to put my rapier out, only this time remembering to close my mouth and Eyes, "Eugh, it still got in my nose, dammit!"

"I don't envy having orifices as much anymore." His golden brain shimmered smugly.

"Oh yeah? Then I might as well keep you like this permanently."

"P-Please don't..."