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Vol.4 Ch.74 - Preparations

"Then, let's get moving." Sorbet pointed over yonder.

"Hey, hold on." Elegy stopped him as soon as that happened, "As with any great journey, shouldn't the heroes first grab some proper gear?"

"Gear? Like what? There's nothing to die from, we're already dead."

"Can we get snacks first?" Hatwell raised a meek suggestion.

"Why would you want snacks if we can't even get hungry...!?" Sorbet shot back, "And to begin with, where would we even get snacks?"

"The same place we'd get the rest of our gear!" Elegy picked out a random house that looked vacant, "From the people!"

A fool proof plan, if he did say so himself. Then again, it's not up to him to decide, because for everyone else that plan was just as abhorrent as it sounded. To begin with, Sorbet was the first to speak out against such an out of touch idea as burglary. Despite the fact that he was the one reminding them they'd have to resort to any means necessary to get to the Shrine, he didn't exactly want them to stoop so low that fast.

"You wanna steal from other people's houses?" Sorbet made sure he heard that part right.

"But stealing is bad!" Hatwell reminded him too.

"Who cares? We're in Heaven anyways, so it's not like we'll face any repercussions." Elegy shrugged with a smug grin.

"You could get kicked out, for one." Hatwell sighed.

"Actually, a little birdie told me something you guys are gonna find very interesting...!" Elegy smirked, "When I first came here—before everyone else did as a matter of fact—A Divine Voice told me something."

"Divine Voice...?!" Sorbet jolted.

Suddenly he was brought to the moment where it all began. Standing on air, thousands of meters above the ground of Heaven 2.0 with two other naked individuals, a man and a woman. Despite the fact they still lacked gilded parts and kept their private parts, their skin was the same snow White as everyone else's is now. As the three tried to make sense of what was going on, the Divine Voice of Prylos himself descended upon them to explain a few things. Namely, that they were the first three people in Heaven 2.0. That, as well as one other thing...

"The Divine Voice told me something about Heaven and Hell as we know it." Elegy proudly exclaimed, "The old Heaven, Heaven 1.0 if you will, got shut down because it got overcrowded. And Hell..."

"Doesn't exist!" Sorbet finished the thought for him.

"...H-Hold on, how do you know that?" Elegy paused, petrified.

"No way, you're really...!"

"What the hell are the chances!"

For the first time in a while, the two men figured out they were fellow "first guests" of Heaven 2.0. The last time this happened was similarly due to extreme chance, though their current iterations don't remember that far back at all. Now that Sorbet knew how deep rooted his relationship with Gale really is, he couldn't help but let out a hardy chuckle.

"This has to be fate." He shook his head, "That, or the Gods are playing some nasty trick on us."

"You guys..." Hatwell interrupted their warm rendezvous moment, "Mind filling me in? Have you met before?"

Still standing in the exact same spot as when they first met, not having moved even an inch from the starting line, they kept talking about all sorts of things, be it explaining to Hatwell their situation, or just reminiscing about the things they could reminisce about.

"Man, that girl had some fine boobs..." Sorbet nodded to himself.

"B-Boobs!?" Hatwell got embarrassed, "What the hell are you saying all of a sudden!? And what girl?"

"What's got you so Red in the face? This is basic level guy talk." Elegy looked at him oddly, "But I have to admit, it's an odd thing to remember. Wasn't she covering herself the entire time?"

"Yeah, but that's exactly what made the sight more alluring!" Sorbet talked like a creep, "The no-no spots were covered by her hands, but the rest was in plain view! It left so little to the imagination, I honestly found it hard not to keep my cool."

"I still don't get it. There was a time where all the girls weren't wearing any clothes, so what's the difference?" Elegy asked.

"If you hadn't realized yet, genius, all guys look the same, and all girls look the same respectively." He groaned, "But back then, we still kept our human sides' physiques, so to speak. Meaning, she must've been one baaaad catch back!"

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

Finally getting the opportunity to talk with someone as freely and openly as this almost made Sab totally forget about his revenge plan altogether. For a moment, he even considered just leaving Gale alone after they got back his wings. After all, whatever it was that made Gale beat him up and take his wings obviously hadn't happened yet for Elegy, so it might be alright to let bygones be bygones. Of course, whenever he would think like this, however, all the pain and betrayal he felt that day came rushing back down all at once. To forgive is to forget, and Sab was not going to let Elegy forget his wrongdoings...

"Dude, you're crazy." Elegy sighed, "That girl was probably scared out of her mind, and all you could think about was her body?"

"Bad man..." Hatwell hissed.

"Come on, what else was there to think about?" Sorbet defended his rousing emotions, "It's not like I knew the girl before hand. What you see is what you get, and I got that that lady had some fine honkers. Not too big, not too small, just the perfect size!"

"...I wonder where she's at now." Elegy looked down, "Do you think we ever met her before, but never bothered to ask?"

"The chances of the two of us meeting is already low enough as it is." He replied, "Besides, even if one of us did talk to her in the past, we never actually found it out, so it doesn't matter."

"Oh..."

"Right now, what matters most is that we get to that Shrine!" He finally steered the conversation into a more productive route, "Come on, time's a ticking!"

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"So, lemme ask just one last time." Elegy clapped his hands, "Are we stealing from people's houses or not?"

"What are you, president of the thieves guild?" Sorbet scowled, "Where did this sudden obsession with stealing come from?"

"The term you're looking for is high thief, not president, but okay." He made sure to correct him before continuing, "And in any case, we gotta have something to defend ourselves against the White Monsters with."

"Can we even defend ourselves against them?" Hatwell fretted, "All it takes is one glance and you're fast asleep. No sword or knife's gonna make a difference in that case."

"Hrm... N-Nevertheless, we still need something to help us hop the borders, right?" Elegy was incessant on this, "Like Sorbet, you said the borders were kept safe with guards. They have polearms, right? So if not weapons of our own, we at least should find ourselves some rope to climb over the fence."

In truth, they would've already reached the first border had they just started walking at the end of the previous chapter. Sorbet didn't know how much longer they had until bedtime, so he was under quite a bit of pressure to rush to a safe spot as fast as possible. Unlike when he could just fly up to safety with his wings, this time he would have to genuinely deal with the White Monsters throughout the entire journey. If he even once got devoured, he'd get sent all the way back here. His memories would be fine, since he's still a seraphim mind you, but what good would that do if he'd get all his progress set back to zero? At this point, he just wanted to start the journey, regardless of how many detours he'd have to take in the meantime.

"I somehow get the feeling that you just wanna steal stuff for the thrill..." He sighed, begrudgingly obliging nonetheless, "But fine, have it your way."

"Woohoo!" Elegy raised his fists triumphantly, "Then, let's snoop around the area for a house that doesn't have anyone inside!"

Walking around the area, it seems they were fresh out of luck. Most everyone was either unwinding back in the comfort of their new forever homes, or they had guests over to share the fun with. Regardless, the group ultimately decided to just go in the direction of the Shrine (which Sorbet tactically decided to hide how he knew it) and look for a suitable target on their way. Said target turned out to be a familiar Yellow house. It was homely and nostalgic, and more importantly—No one was occupying it at the current moment.

"Great! Guess we found ourselves our very first heist hit!" Elegy put his hands on his hips proudly as Sorbet just waltzed right in through the front door, "O-Oi, be more careful! People are around!"

"The more "careful" you act, the more suspicious passers-by will get." He replied with a dead inside tone, "Just shut your mouth and get in. And for the love of God, get whatever you need so we can get out of here."

Surprisingly, they had found the owner of this house to be quite untidy. That, or their Heaven home was just unequivocally cluttered. Toys, board games, books, even a TV made its way somewhere in there, along with dozens of other random junk and gadgets. Truly, the house of a hoarder.

"Eugh... Oh, heyo~!" Elegy ran to pick up a sword put up on a wall-rack display, "Whoa, this looks way too cool to be a real thing! The back is serrated, and do I see holes for your fingers on the blade?! This is some seriously good craftsmanship!"

"Rule number one of fantasy sword ideas—If it looks cool, it's impractical as hell in real life." Sorbet rolled his Eyes, "Put it back, the only one getting hurt with that thing is the wielder."

Ignoring his advice, Elegy masterfully flourished the dangerous looking blade as if it was a cheerleader's baton. Throwing it behind his back, slamming it into the ground, proceeding to backflip off of its handle, and then yanking it back out with a satisfied smile. It appears Elegy's swordsmanship was in fact up to the task.

"...Ehhh." The smile on his face turned into a frown, "Too heavy for my liking. You were right, it's pretty unwieldy."

"W-Wait! What the hell was that!?" Sorbet stopped him from placing it back on the rack, "Sorry, I was wrong! If you can do flips and shit off of it, then by all means use it!"

"That was epic!" Hatwell was entranced as well, "Can you teach me to do that too?"

"Heh, nah, this was nothing." Elegy shook his head, "I just kinda did what made sense, but like I said, the sword isn't made for my style."

"Style?" The two novices could only tilt their heads in confusion.

"You know how some swordsmen prefer to rush in, while others, like me, try and get the opponent to do the attacking so we can parry it?" Elegy gladly explained, "This sword, it's made with the primary function of "defense" in mind. Whoever made this, or had it commissioned at least, must've wanted the user to never get hurt."

"You got all that from such a serrated design?" Sorbet cocked his head back.

"The side facing the wielder is serrated to make it easier for him to catch the oncoming blade attacking him." He elaborated, "But if he doesn't have time to turn the blade around, he can put his fingers through these finger holes where the serrations pause and get a better grip for a full block. As I said, the craftsmanship is really well thought out..."

"...Riiight~" Sorbet nodded, not understanding a single thing about what was just explained to him, "Let's go find you a scabbard for that thing."

"Tsk. Fine..." Elegy sighed, realizing he was gonna have to use it after all.