Rayne

“What a shame Little isn’t joining us today.”

Rayne spoke as they entered Alliyah’s flat.

“Woah, what are you working on?”

Her eyes widened, as she saw how Alliyah’s house was different. It used to look minimalistic, but now there was a section near her bed that was piled with art supplies: two easels, a few blank canvases against the wall, another easel being used, drawings/sketches taped to the wall, besides watercolors, acrylics, and brushes on top of a new desk.

It looked like Alliyah had been devoted to art since ending the interior designing career a lot more than she used to.

“Ummh,” She delayed an answer, while she fed the dogs and cat. “What am I not working on?”

Alliyah got up, smoothed her loose fit blue jeans plus her equally loose white t-shirt, and scratched the back of her head:

“I kinda don’t want you to see what I’m working on. I’ll show you, but only after it’s done.”

“Why not? I show you mine.”

Alliyah wiggled her eyebrows:

“Not yet, you haven’t.”

“My works in progress.” Rayne rolled her eyes, despite feeling her face redden.

“Yes, yes I knew what you meant. But you draw landscapes. My art feels more intimate. It's kinda weird to show it before it's complete.”

Rayne held her gaze in silence. Alliyah took a step in her direction and held both of her hands:

“I promise, I’ll show you when they’re done. Can you trust me?”

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Oh, God, that word. Trust. How she resented it.

“Ummh, certainly.” Was all she vocalized.

She slipped away from Alliyah’s grasp and sat on the couch to unpack her drawing material while remaining overthinking herself and her relationship with Alliyah.

----------------------------------------

“So, you think she’s faking it?” Dr. Skylar asked over the phone.

Rayne, in her state of anxiety, simply let out a sound of agreement.

“You think…” The doctor paused, and it was easy for Rayne to imagine them holding their glasses, at the bridge of their nose, while reading scribbles on a notebook. “You fear she’s too good for you, and she’ll end up being disappointed in you.”

Rayne held her breath and did not reply. She rocked back and forth on the sofa.

“This is not true. You bring as much to the relationship as Alliyah. I can assure you she wouldn’t even be with you if she didn’t see something special in you.”

“She said that too.”

Rayne found her voice and slowed down her motions.

“See. She wants to be with you. She chooses you. Don’t question why she does it, just accept that she picks you. Everyday. On purpose!”

Over time, on occasion, Dr. Skylar would sound a bit less professional and more like a friend. Rayne enjoyed it.

“You’re sensitive, intelligent, honest, and giving. Anyone would be lucky to have you.”

The words made her lips twitch in a small smile.

Rayne let out a divided sight. Could the doctor be telling the truth?

It was tricky to steer clear from the negativity inside herself. It was difficult to believe in compliments, especially coming from someone who received money to calm her down.

“Keep taking care of yourself. You’ve done tremendous progress, and it’s only going to get better. You need to be reminded of your self-worth, and I’ll always be here for that. And your friends too. Alliyah too. Your recovery is possible, it has been happening for years.”

She ran a hand through her hair, tangled her fingers in it, and closed her eyes not to let tears come out.

“You love her, don’t you?”

Well, there was no keeping the tears in at that moment.

“Like the stars love the moon.”

“Well, the stars and the moon are destined to be together, aren’t they?”

“That is… Oddly reassuring.” Rayne found herself smiling once again, despite the tears. “Thank you, Skylar.”

“It’s what I’m here for.”

Yes, it is what I pay you for.