Henry crept stealthy behind a boulder, as the two rich idiots insisted on talking as opposed to actually fighting each other. The woman was obviously enjoying this immensely; he could see it by the way she was fluttering her eyes and not really making an effort to actually break anything apart. Props to her, get that money. Henry didn’t know how much agency women actually get in this world but assuming that it was Xianxia world probably not a lot.

Henry knew these two jagoffs were disciples judging by their minimal ki and arrogant attitudes. He couldn’t have them point him out in the sect and cause him trouble. Henry looked around for something to hide his face with. There was no trash in this world and people didn’t litter. The best that Henry could do was some vines and leaves that they fashioned together to make a sort of nature veil. Fuck it Henry was going to do it live.

******************************************************************

Guan Fi not having fun; these young masters of the Tai and Wang clan were supposed to be fighting for her hand.

She was not the prettiest one of her sisters, but she used that to her advantage. Her four older sisters were peerless jade beauties, they could drive men to crazed fury with a soft laugh and a flutter of their fans. Guan had to work a lot harder. She knew that most men saw her as the consolation prize with her hawkish nose and sharp wit. Guan did not mind that, the more they underestimated her the easier it was for her to twist them to her machination.

She had chosen them because she knew that their little scrape wouldn't start an all out clan war just deepen hostilities.

She had chosen Yung Tai because she had heard he was a frequent customer of Madam Ka Mai’s House of Flowers. Honestly who had ever heard of a fat cultivator. He had fallen for her hook line and sinker. Like a man in the desert any droplet of affection that she threw his way he responded in kind with gifts of cultivation materials. It was as if he had a thirst for her.

Dei Wang was a trickier sort to wrangle into her schemes. She knew that he had no interest in her and as a fourth son could still have quite a pick of women. She had to attack him from a different angle. She had spread rumors that Yung Tai was slandering the Wang clan to her and she in turn had to tell her sisters about the Wang clan’s inadequacies. Her second sister Fei was currently in courtship with Dei Wang’s older brother.

Needless to say, Dei Wang had to defend his family's honor.

Guan Li was not naturally malicious and this was not her idea to do this. It was one of Mother’s tests. The Li clan was widely known for their female cultivators; they were also known quietly as master politicians. Mother had wanted to see if she had what it took to manipulate the different clans. Wanted to see if the runt of the litter could measure up to her siblings.

Mother had allowed Guan free reign on what methods she would take so she had decided that a lovers quarrel would be the most understandable for prying eyes.

Clan politics were still a little above Guan’s grasp but she knew that Mother had expected this would be an easy first task for her. Something to wet her whistle and get her feet in the game. Two love struck young masters fighting over a young maiden's hand was a very believable cover.

The problem was that these two assholes kept talking about fighting instead of actually fighting. They swung their sword at each other a handful of times before monologuing at each other for the last thirty minutes. She was starting to think these two had no intention of fighting. They kept pausing in weird places as if waiting for her to jump in and say stop or something.

“Please brother Dei and brother Yung sheath your swords, this one is not worth your….”

Guan Li did not get to finish her sentence because that was when Henry decided to jump out of hiding, wearing nothing but a leaf veil.

******************************************************************

The mask itches like crazy and Henry had to fight the urge to mess with it. He couldn’t wait anymore and these two idiots seemed like they were just gonna stand here all night. No plan survives the first encounter; luckily Henry didn’t have one as he jumped into the air and landed softly between the two cultivators. Three sets of eyes landed on him and three jaws hit the floor.

“I'm breathtaking, I know,” Henry said, flexing a little.

The fat one spoke up first.

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“Who in the hell are you and how dare you interrupt this noble clash of arms,” Yung Tai lowered his sword to gape at this crazy naked bastard.

“I ask the questions,” Henry said indignantly.

“Drop the swords and your robes, mam you can stay clothed.”

“I will be doing nothing of the sort, as a matter of fact this young lord wants to plunge his sword into you scoundrel,” Dei Wang said, readying his blade.

Guan Li just stood there, too shocked to say anything.

“You guys are so cliche it’s crazy just come at me bro,” Henry said adopting a fighting stance “I don’t have time to mess around with you too idiots.”

“What did you say filthy mongrel cur this young lord will oooff.”

Henry had closed the distance and punched Dei Wang clean in the solar plexus, sending him flying back into the dirt unconscious.

Yung Tai was not a good fighter but he still had the training from a noble clan. He lunged at Henry when he had his back to him.

Henry could hear Yung Tai’s footsteps and assumed a sneak attack. He was not disappointed. The blade came quickly at him, the fatso had training that much was sure. Henry turned parallel and let it slip by.

He let his ki circulate to his legs to close the distance, that sword would be an issue if he stand at range.

“I don’t know who you are but to send Dei Wang sprawling you must have some skills let this young master trade some pointers with you.”

Yung Tai raised his blade back with one arm and with the other pointed two fingers at Henry.

“Prepare yourself for the Star Field Sword of the Tai clan, perhaps in your next life you will be able to know when to not anger your betters.”

Henry was on him as Yung Tai was mid monologue.

“Only idiots announce their moves,” Henry whispered.

Henry twisted his hips and threw a nasty left hook into Yung Tai’s liver. This made the cultivator double over in pain.

In a well practiced motion Henry shifted his whole body so his right hand was underneath Yung Tai’s head. The uppercut came like a missile right on the button and Yung Tai went out like a light.

Henry had adjusted his ki to a trickle as he threw his punches, he wanted to incapacitate not to kill. These two were idiots not villains. Henry started to take the clothes off of the two cultivators as fast as he could, emptying their pockets and taking their weapons as well.

“Do you need a hand with that?” said a soft feminine voice.

Henry jumped up and assumed a fighting stance.

“Oh stop you got what you wanted, and I got what I wanted so drop the fist.”

Guan Li stood there hands on her hips and head cocked to the side.

“These two were just gonna keep talking all night, so really I owe you a favor,” Guan Li said as she helped Henry take the clothes off the cultivators.

“You aren’t gonna rat me out are you or try to get me wrapped up in some crazy scheme?” Henry asked as he tucked all the loot under one arm.

“Nah what's the point, I'll just tell them each separately that the other one hired an assassin and my task will be done. Besides, who's gonna believe me when I try to tell them some wild naked man beat two cultivators barehanded?”

“I mean when you put it like that, thanks” Henry said as he made to leave.

“Wait you dropped this,” Guan said as she handed him his leaf veil.

“Ahh shit, umm can you like maybe not remember my face please.” Henry said suddenly bashfully.

“Sure of course, do me a favor though and knock me out before you go and please do try not to kill me when you do it. I noticed your ki control is a little shaky.”

“Why would I do that?” Henry asked, confused.

“Come on you can't possibly be that dense. How would it look if I was the only one unscathed?”

“You little schemer,” Henry said, chuckling to himself.

Guan Li shrugged her shoulders and said “a girl’s gotta do what she can with the cards that she is dealt.”

“Any preference on how I do it?”

“Painlessly if possible, if not something quick that wont leave a scar,” Guan Li said, squaring her shoulder and readying herself.

This chick had guts Henry thought and now that he was closer the hawk nose fit her face a lot better than he originally thought. She was pretty curvy too for a cultivator. Not slim and dainty like that jade beauty from before but more filled out in all the right places.

Guan Li covered her mouth and laughed.

Henry thought she looked really pretty when she laughed.

“What's so funny?”

Guan Li pointed down to his little Henry. It was giving her a five flag salute. Henry blushed hard as he hit square on her chin.

Henry ran back to his hut as fast as he could with a raging boner.